“But my angel, isn’t that exactly what you did to Sydney?”
Katherine bristled. “I did
not
!”
“You made him think you wanted him for himself. When you really wanted him so you could access your fortune.”
“That’s not true! I
loved
Sydney.”
“Did you? Then why did you let Lord Iversley court you? Why did you accept his proposal of marriage and let him bed you? Your love for Sydney couldn’t have been too strong if you tossed it aside for Lord Iversley’s attentions.”
Her first instinct was to strike back at her mother for putting her in such a cold light. “I tossed it aside because you wanted me to marry soon, and Sydney would not marry… well, he seemed not too eager, and…” She trailed off as the validity of her mother’s words hit her. “No, that’s not true. I mean… it is true, but Sydney did offer for me at the party. And I refused him.”
Seeing herself through her mother’s eyes, she felt ashamed. She’d used Sydney ill. Long before she’d fallen in love with Alec, she’d deceived Sydney about her feelings for Alec, merely to provoke her friend into marrying her. Just as Alec had deceived her about his own true feelings to tempt her into marrying him.
And she’d done it for what? To avoid trouble. How was that any different than Alec?
“I’m not saying you were wrong, mind you,” her mother went on. “You wanted to marry Sydney so you could make all our lives more comfortable. But that was his lordship’s reasoning, too. He wanted to make all his tenants’ and his servants’ lives more comfortable. So why do you blame him?”
“Because… because…” Because she loved him. And she wanted so badly for him to love her. She wanted to believe the sweet things he’d said and done, and now she couldn’t. How could she live with a man whose every word she suspected?
She wasn’t sure she could. One thing she did know— she’d behaved badly to Sydney. He’d deserved better from her.
Turning on her heel, she strode toward the door.
“Where are you going?” her mother said.
“I have to apologize to Sydney for how I’ve wronged him.”
“Do you think he’ll still have you?” her mother asked hopefully. Katherine started to snap out a hot retort, but caught herself just in time. “It doesn’t matter if he would, Mama. I could never marry him now. You were right—I never really loved him. And I treated him almost as badly as Alec treated me. But the answer to that isn’t to marry him without loving him. That wouldn’t be fair, either.”
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Now that she knew how much it hurt to be wanted for something other than oneself, she couldn’t bear to think of anyone else suffering the same pain. And perhaps by seeking absolution for Sydney’s broken heart, she could learn how to live with her own.
In a frenzy, Alec rode Beleza toward the Lovelace town house. This would probably be his last time to ride the Lusitano. If Draker came to London at Alec’s summons, he’d soon arrive at Stephens Hotel to claim the horse.
But if Alec could get Katherine back, nothing else mattered. And since she had run right to Sydney upon her return to London, that was by no means certain.
When Mrs. Merivale had told him where Katherine was, he’d cursed a blue streak. Hearing that the woman he loved had turned to another man for comfort had briefly shaken his confidence. But Alec refused to lose her now.
At last he reached Lovelace’s town house in Mayfair. Alec wasn’t terribly surprised to find it a costly building of understated elegance. If he hadn’t spent the last month assessing the price of improving his estate, he might not have realized just how costly. But as he dismounted and strode up the marble steps, he was painfully aware of the probable expense of procuring each finely crafted slab and hiring craftsmen talented enough to lay it so perfectly that no joint showed and not a single chip marred the surface. Thiswas what he meant to take Katherine away from? This easy wealth and secure position with a man whose temperament suited her?
Damned right he did.
Sydney might suit her in some ways, but the man didn’t love her. And that kept Alec climbing those expensive marble steps, pushing past the footman in fine livery who tried to turn him away at the door, and striding through halls papered in silk until he located the drawing room. He didn’t know what to think when he saw Molly standing outside it. Katherine
was
here, and clearly she was alone with Sydney. He brushed past the maid and into the drawing room. Where he found Katherine crying on Sydney’s shoulder.
His low, involuntary moan drew their attention instantly. At the sight of him, Lovelace turned hostile, but Katherine’s reaction was harder to read. She sat in the curve of the baronet’s arm with her chin trembling, her nose red, and her eyes swollen by tears.
She’d never looked more lovely.
His heart twisted in his chest. It didn’t matter that she was with Sydney. He refused to let her go.
“Katherine, may I please speak to you alone?”
Lovelace stood to put himself between them. “Haven’t you done enough? Can’t you just leave her be?”
“This has nothing to do with you,” Alec bit out. “Let me talk to her.”
Katherine stood, her eyes now wary. “What do you want, Alec?”
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“I told you—to speak to you privately.”
“No. When we’re private, you always… Whatever you have to say can be said in front of Sydney. He’s my friend.”
Alec choked back a string of jealous protests; they were certainly not the way to win her back. But must he say this in front of Lovelace, of all people?
Pride has no place in love.
Apparently he must. “First of all, I came to apologize.”
“For which offense? Deceiving me about your true purpose? Conspiring with Mr. Byrne behind our backs? Wanting to marry me only for my fortune?”
His jaw tightened. “Everything but the last. I never wanted you only for your fortune, and that’s the truth.”
“You say that,” she whispered, “but how can I ever believe it?”
“You can’t. Which is why I want to marry you without your fortune.”
Katherine blinked, then narrowed her eyes. “What do you mean?”
“I want you, Katherine, whatever the cost. I’ll sign any marriage settlement you like—one that gives your fortune to your mother, or keeps it only in trust for our children, whatever you require.” He added hoarsely, “Just say you’ll marry me. That’s all I want.”
She tipped up her chin. “What about Edenmore? And your tenants and—”
“I’ve been thinking about all of that. I can’t sell Edenmore because of the entail, but I can offer it to let. Someone else can take over the tenant farms in exchange for whatever income it provides. And if you and I can’t live on the rents, then I can ride for Astley or even join the cavalry—I’m sure Wellington would offer me an officer’s commission if I asked.”
“What?” Sydney said. “Why the blazes would he do that?”
“Be quiet, Sydney,” Katherine whispered, her eyes locked on Alec. “And your servants? What about Mrs. Brown and Emson and the rest?”
Heartened by her response, he stepped nearer. “The younger ones would work for whoever lets Edenmore. The older ones would have to be pensioned off.”
“Using what for money?” Sydney sneered at him. “Your nonexistent officer’s commission?”
Alec glared at him. “I have friends willing to loan me funds.” He prayed they would, at any rate. “They’ll help me see that the old earl’s debts are paid, too, either by convincing his creditors to accept smaller monthly payments or advancing me the funds until I can repay them with the rents from Edenmore and my salary.”
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“Leaving you nothing to live on,” Lovelace snapped.
Alec stiffened. “I know it would not be an easy life, but at least Katherine and I would be together.”
Lovelace snorted, but Katherine drew nearer, her eyes huge in her face. “Why would you give up your estate for me?”
That was
not
something he wanted to say in front of a sneering audience. “Please, sweetheart, give me five minutes alone with you. That’s all I ask.”
“Why?” Lovelace broke in before she could answer. “So you can twist her reason and blind her to your true character with kisses?” He turned to Katherine. “Dash it all, Kit, don’t you see what he’s doing? He knows that once he has you back in his snare, he can work on you until you admit that the fortune would make your life together much easier. Then it’s one quick step to the altar, and he gets everything he wants. As usual.”
When Alec saw Katherine’s face cloud over once more, his temper flared. “Blast you, Lovelace, don’t pretend you’re protesting my suit because you care about
her
. We both know you wouldn’t have fought for her at all, if anyone but I had entered the picture. But the fact that she loves a man you loathe grates on you, doesn’t it? You hate that she thumbs her nose at your wealth, that even without money,
I’m
the one she prefers.”
Lovelace’s eyes narrowed. “And you only want her money. So I’ll make you an offer here and now.”
He squared his shoulders. “I’ll write you a bank draft for twenty thousand pounds.”
“Sydney, no!” Katherine put in.
Lovelace ignored her. “I realize it’s less than you’d hoped for, but it would certainly put a large dent in your debts. And you only have to walk away and leave her free. Just that.”
It was Alec’s turn to sneer. “Isn’t it generous of you to give away twenty thousand pounds of her fortune to rid yourself of a rival?”
Lovelace drew himself up, the very picture of haughty elegance. “Unlike you, I’ve never wanted her fortune. I’ve already told her that if we marry, she can do with it as she pleases. But since she just refused my suit for the second time this week, it’s unlikely I will ever get a chance at it anyway.”
Lovelace balled his hands into fists. “So you see, this is
not
a case of me wanting something you have. I hope one day to convince her to marry me, but even if I can’t, Katherine will always be my friend. So, yes, I’d do anything to keep her from you, but only because I know she deserves better. If all it takes to make her happy is paying you off, then the twenty thousand pounds is money well spent.”
Alec was stunned speechless. Was the man mad? He’d pay such a sum for a woman who might never marry him? All this time, Alec had assumed that Sydney’s feelings for Katherine didn’t run deep, but now…
He glanced at Katherine, his blood chilling to see how expectantly she watched him, as if she actually thought he might take Lovelace’s money. Suddenly he saw himself as they saw him—a low fortune hunter willing to do anything to get what he wanted, to trample over a longstanding friendship simply because it suited his needs and to ignore the welfare of the very woman he professed to love.
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No wonder she didn’t trust him. How could she, when she had a good man’s example before her? A man who could give her more than Alec could ever hope to give her. He tamped down a burst of pain as he realized what he must do. “Forgive me,” he choked out. “It appears I have misunderstood everything, Lovelace. I thought you didn’t care for Katherine the way she deserved. But I see now that you were simply more quiet about it. Keep your money—I won’t trouble either of you anymore.”
Lovelace’s lips thinned. “You say that now, but I’d rather take no chances. I don’t want Katherine forced to defend herself against a lawsuit. So take the money—it will buy you time to court another heiress.”
It took all Alec’s control not to put his fist through Lovelace’s jaw. “I don’t want another heiress. And I’m damned sure not going to bring any lawsuits. You’ll have to accept my word as a gentleman for that. Believe it or not, I still have principles.”
He turned to Katherine, who stared at him in shock. His heart lurched in his chest to think that this would be his last look at her. “Next time he asks for your hand, sweetheart, you should marry him. Because you were right that night on the gallery. He
is
the better man. And you deserve the best man England has to offer.”
Turning on his heel, he left. At least he’d been spared the indignity of revealing his true parentage to her and suffering her contempt. Not to mention the ignominy of telling her he loved her, when she so clearly had lost all love for him.
Too bad pride was such a paltry consolation for having one’s heart crushed. Chapter Twenty-eight
They say that reformed rakes make the best
husbands—
but is there a woman alive who
could make a rakewant
to reform
?
—Anonymous,
A Rake’s Rhetorick
Sydney had only a moment to relish his triumph before Kit started toward the door. He caught her just in time. “Let him go, for God’s sake. You’re finally free of him.”
She cast Sydney a sad smile. “I don’t want to be free of him. Not now that I know he truly cares for me.”
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“Because he refused my offer? Of course he did. He knew that would bring you to him as nothing else would, and then he’d have your fortune—”
“Sydney, my dear friend,” she said in an indulgent tone, “he’s not the monster you paint him. If you could only see what I’ve seen—how hard he’s fighting to restore his estate, how well he treats his servants, how strongly he feels for his country. There are so many good things about him that you don’t know.”
“All I’ve seen is him being reckless and wicked and—”
“Yes, he’s that too, sometimes. But then, so am I.”
“Never. You’re like me—you know what’s right and proper and try to follow it.”
She laughed. “After all these years, you know me so little.”
“I know you well enough. Dash it all, you could never be happy with a man who wants you only for your fortune.”
She removed his hand from her arm. “I’m going to tell you something I shouldn’t. But I can think of no other way to put your mind at ease.” She glanced away. “If Alec had wanted to ruin my chances with you forever, he could have. All he needed to say was the truth—that he and I have been… intimate.”