In the Shadow of the Shield (Secret Lives Series Book 2) (19 page)
Read In the Shadow of the Shield (Secret Lives Series Book 2) Online
Authors: Carolyn Laroche
Tags: #Mystery; Thriller & Suspense, #Mystery, #Women Sleuths, #Romance, #Romantic Suspense, #Mystery & Suspense, #Suspense
“Is it?” He worked his way to his feet, holding his abdomen. “Because I don’t agree. Tell me you don’t love me. I need to hear it from you. If you can look me in the eye and tell me you don’t love me, I’ll walk right out that door and never look back.”
“I don’t love you,” she whispered without looking up.
“Look me in the eye when you say that,” Carter demanded.
It was going to kill her, but she had to say it. It was what was best for both of them. He didn’t need some old, broke-down widow to worry about all the time, and she couldn’t love a man who could up and die on her again. Diana forced herself to look up at Carter. His eyes were red rimmed, in stark contrast to the paleness of his skin.
“I don’t love you.”
If a person could witness the breaking of another’s heart, Diana had just witnessed the breaking of Carter’s. She almost ran to him, begging forgiveness, but she remained fast.
“So, that’s it, then?” The words came out so softly, she almost didn’t hear them. She nodded. “Well then, I guess there’s nothing left to say.” Carter turned and headed toward the door. Diana jumped to her feet, but stayed put. When he reached the door, he turned around to look at her. “Meeting you has been the best thing that has ever happened to me. I didn’t know I had the capacity to love another human being until I found myself head over heels for you. I would give my life for you. Hell, I nearly did. I wish you all the best life has to offer. I love you, Diana Massey, and I always will. I don’t believe for a second that you don’t love me too, but I will respect your wishes and take myself out of your life forever.” He disappeared out the front door.
Diana curled up in a little ball right there on the floor and bawled until her tear ducts ran dry.
Half an hour later, the front door opened, and Jackson entered the house. Spotting her on the floor, he ran over to where she lay. “Mom? What’s wrong?
Mom
?” She couldn’t answer him. How could she tell her son that she desperately loved a man who wasn’t his father, and had sent him away?
“Mom? Does this have anything to do with Officer Ryan sitting on the front porch?”
She bolted upright. Carter was on the front porch? “What? Is he okay?” Diana jumped to her feet.
“Relax, he’s fine. Except for the fact that he is totally and completely in love with my mother.”
“He told you that?”
“Not is so many words, but, Mom, I wasn’t born yesterday. I can tell when a man loves a woman. Even if that woman is my mother.”
“I’m sorry, Jackson. I didn’t mean for it to happen.”
“Why? What’s wrong with being in love?” He smiled broadly.
“Jackson, have you fallen in love?”
“I don’t know, but I really like her. A lot. It’s different than with other girls I’ve dated. She gives me butterflies in my gut, and makes me want to do things like walk in gardens and get dressed up.”
“That’s wonderful, honey. I am so very happy for you.”
“I’m going to be gone a lot, Mom. Having a girlfriend takes up time, and then I’ll be heading off to college.”
“Are you really trying to crush your old mother here?”
Jackson laughed. “No! I’m trying to tell you that I want you to be happy too.”
Diana looked at her son for a long moment. When did he leave boyhood and become a man? Somehow it had happened right before her very eyes.
“You know I loved your dad very much, right?”
“Yes, of course I know that. But that doesn’t mean you can’t love someone else too.”
“When did you get so wise?” She reached up and touched her son on the cheek.
“I had a good teacher. Now, go outside, and talk to that man before he freezes to death.”
“Why is he sitting on the porch? I thought he left.”
“Said something about not having a ride, and then he said you were stubborn as a mule.”
Diana laughed. “He really said that about me?”
“No, I added that part.”
“Jackson Massey!”
“Go on, Mom. I have to go grab a shower. I have a date.” With that, Jackson disappeared up the stairs. When she heard his bedroom door close, Diana jumped to her feet. There was a mirror on the wall. She saw that she looked like hell, but what did it matter. If Carter loved her, he would have to love her with smeared eye make-up and messy hair too.
Shrugging into a coat, she practically ran to the door, but froze when her hand reached the knob. How would she ever apologize to Carter? Would he even forgive her?
Taking a deep breath, she yanked the door open and stepped out onto the porch. Carter was slouched against the cold stone face of the house. He was so still it was unnerving. Panic, a familiar feeling, set in as she dropped to her knees in front of him. “Carter? Carter, it’s me.”
He didn’t move and didn’t respond. His hands and face were ice cold when she touched them. “Oh, Carter, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” she murmured as she tried to move him toward the door. His body was heavy, and she didn’t want to disturb his still healing wounds. Her phone. She needed to get her phone and call for an ambulance. “I’ll be right back. I’m going for help.” Diana leaned in and pressed a kiss to his lips. “Don’t give up on me. Please.”
As she started to rise, a hand grabbed her behind the neck and pulled her back. “Carter?”
“I will never give up on you. That’s a promise.” His lips found hers again, and Diana melted into the feel of his touch. His arms wrapped around her, pulling her in close.
“Be careful, I don’t want to hurt you.”
Carter pulled back the slightest bit, and looked deep into her very soul. “Nothing would ever hurt as much as hearing you say you don’t love me.”
“I will never, ever say it again.”
“You’d better not.” His lips pressed against hers again briefly. “As much as I would like to continue this, I am really cold. It took an awful long time for your son to come home and talk some sense into you.”
“Oh! Let’s get you inside and get you warm.”
“I have a few ideas about how we can do that.”
“But your wounds…”
“Will heal that much faster with my own private nurse.” He grunted as he got to his feet.
“I guess I do owe you that much.” Diana wrapped an arm around his waist and walked with him into the house. When they were inside and the door was closed, Carter backed her up against the door, one hand one either side of her head. His lips were so close to hers, she could feel the chill coming off of them.
“The way I figure it, I saved your life. You owe me in kind.”
“Okay,” she whispered against his lips. “Send me a bill.”
“Nope, I think I would rather take it out in trade. Say, you and me, together forever? It’s going to take that long to pay off your debt.”
“Whatever you say, Officer. You’re the one with the badge.”
“Is that what I need to make you stay with me?” His breath was hot on her neck as he nibbled an earlobe.
“I’m willing to stay, badge or no badge.”
“That’s good.” He kissed a little trail from her ear back to her lips. “Because I would hate for you to love me just because I carry a gun.”
“Will you only love me because I can talk dirty to you?”
“I thought I heard you say you quit that job?”
“I did.”
“I decided I could deal with it, but I am really glad I don’t have to. I love you, and I will always love you.”
He held her close to his chest. Diana wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in close. “I love you too.”
“I know. Why do you think I nearly froze to death on the porch?”
“Because you’re as stubborn as I am?”
“Good thing too. Now, can we get to the part where you warm me up?”
“Absolutely.”
She was vaguely aware of Jackson calling a goodbye. The sun set, and the room fell into dusk before they separated. Diana found the remote to the gas fireplace and turned it on, while she and Carter cuddled in front of it.
“Thank you for saving me, Carter.”
“No, Diana. Thank you for saving me. I once believed life was only something to be tolerated. Finding you has taught me it is something to be protected, cherished, and shared with the one you love.”
“I will never let you forget it, either.”
Diana leaned into Carter’s arm across her shoulders, feeling safe and protected. Not everyone got a second chance at love, but she had gotten one, and she wasn’t going to waste a moment of it.
Acknowledgments
There are so many people that have had a hand in bringing this book to success from my family who always support me to my original editor that saw my direction and ran with it to Limitless Publishing and all the amazing people there that have finally pulled it all together into one amazing package. It would be hard to thank just one or two people so I thank you all from the bottom of my heart. To Allie, thank you for never letting me give up and reminding me sometimes daily, how far I have already come. To Eric, you are my hero and my love, forever and always, no matter what life tosses our way.
About the Author
Carolyn LaRoche grew up in snow country but fled the cold and ice several years ago. She now lives near the beach with her husband, their two boys, two finicky cats and one old dog. When she is not at the baseball field cheering on big hits and home runs, she is busy teaching science to unwilling teenagers.
