In the Shadows (16 page)

“You can’t go down there,” Jacoby says, exasperation fills his voice. “You can’t beg me not to go down there and then turn around and go yourself.”

“This is different. I have to go if it’s the only way to save Isobel and prove your innocence. I just have to!”

How can he not understand that this isn’t a matter of just wanting to be defiant or looking for an adrenaline rush by taking stupid risks. This entire predicament is my fault. If I had been able to heal Isobel myself, we wouldn’t even need to venture into the Underworld but I failed and I don’t think it’s right that anybody else should risk the trip there when my failure is the whole reason we have to go.

“Mia, Jacoby has a point. It’s too dangerous for you. There has to be another way,” Grey speaks up.

“I’m pretty sure we won’t find any Night Blooms here in Álfheimr and I doubt we can special order them from Westloop Floral back home either. So what else can we do, Grey? Please, tell me because from where I stand, it’s our only choice.”

“Come on, Mia, let’s just think about this. We need a plan. Remember the last time you rushed off to the Underworld?”

I glare at Grey, seething with anger. He knows how guilty I have felt since that night. I never meant to put any of the Light Elves in danger which is exactly what happened when a group of them followed me there.

“Of course I remember what happened the last time I was there. I see it replayed in my dreams every night,” I remind him angrily. How can he think I could easily forget that night?

“Then please, let’s just wait until Alberico returns,” he begs. “He’s been informed and Finnegan said that we are expecting him before morning.  Please let’s just wait to discuss this with him. I’m certain we can form some sort of plan that doesn’t involve you risking your life. I’ll go to the Underworld myself before it comes to that.” Grey’s pained expression tugs at my heart, causing some of the anger to fade away.

“But I owe her, Grey.” I wish they could understand the guilt I feel for failing to heal Isobel.

“She wouldn’t want you jeopardizing yourself, Lark.”

“Fine. I’ll wait to talk to Alberico. But it won’t change my mind. We wouldn’t even have to be considering this if I had been able to heal her myself.”

It’s not like I’d have to be down there very long at all. How hard can it be to find a stupid flower?

“
I have a feeling it’s a little more complicated than that
,” Jacoby responds to my inner monologue before whispering inside my mind, “
What are you hiding?”

I don’t look at him for fear that the wall I’ve built in my mind will fall and he’ll hear everything that I don’t want him to know. 

Chapter Seventeen

I
end up falling asleep in the dungeon beside Jacoby’s cell. One of the guards brought me down a small cot after I refused to go up to my room. When I wake up, Jacoby’s hand is still entwined with mine. I squeeze it once and his eyes flutter awake.

“Lark, you really should go sleep in your own bed,” he yawns. “I happen to have it on good authority that it’s the best smelling bed in the castle,” he says with a wink.

When Jacoby first arrived in Álfheimr he was prone to taking naps in my bed despite the fact that he has his own perfectly good bed in his own perfectly fine room. The honeysuckle and cinnamon smell of my sheets is oddly, but deliciously, intoxicating though so I can’t really blame him.

“What time is it?” I ask.

“I think it’s almost midnight,” he answers sleepily.

“Is Alberico here?”

“I haven’t heard anything. I’m kinda locked in a dungeon right now,” he says with a half-hearted smile.

“Yeah, of course. Sorry.” My mind is a sleepy haze.

It strikes me as odd that he didn’t rush back to the castle as soon as he heard about Isobel, but maybe, whatever it is that he’s doing, is preventing him from leaving right away.

I know that he’ll just tell me that it’s too dangerous and that someone else will go, not understanding why it’s so important to me.  I have to do what I can to help her.

I can’t do anything to save Hannah. She’s been plucked right out of my life like a beautiful flower at the hands of an innocent child. Only I know that there isn’t anything innocent about it. There is no any doubt in my mind that the Dark Elves are behind this—Ethan made it obvious he had something planned for her. I just wish I would have been able to stop it from happening.

All I know is that I don’t think there’s any hope, she’s gone. I’ve lost her. I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself for being helpless to save her. The ache in my chest is unbearable and I just want to do something—anything to help me not to think about it.

I failed at healing Isobel too, but at least I might be able to fix it. I just need to help get what Adele needs for the remedy so she can heal her. It's impossible though, Alberico will never let me go, he will never understand my need to fix this myself.

I could just transport to the Underworld, find the
Noctis vigeo
, grab a handful of the poisonous flower and transport back to Álfheimr before anyone even notices I’m gone.  I’d be there for what? A minute? Piece of cake.  Then Adele can break it down and figure out how to produce the antidote needed to heal Isobel. 

At the end of the day, Adele gets the credit for saving Isobel but I have the satisfaction of knowing I played a part. That would make me feel a little bit better.

“What’s going on in that head of yours, Lark?” Jacoby asks with obvious frustration that he actually has to ask. I’m getting better at blocking him and though I should be proud at the achievement, it just makes me feel guilty knowing how hurt he’d be if he knew everything I was keeping from him.

I still don’t know what to think about what happened earlier with Grey nor why I reacted the way that I did. Why did he have to go there? I thought he was done messing with my head like that. I thought we were past all the stupid games. I don’t want to think about this right now. I already lost Hannah because I was too wrapped up in my own life. I won't make that mistake again. I need to concentrate on helping Isobel right now.

“Nothing—just, once Isobel is better, she’ll tell everyone it wasn’t you and you’ll be free again. I promise.” I lean my head against the cool bars and he places a kiss on my forehead before pressing his head against mine. 

He eyes me curiously and for a minute I wonder if he suspects why I’m blocking him, but he doesn’t say anything so I think I might be lucky for now.

“Lark, I need to tell you something. You can’t go there. I can’t stand the thought of you being anywhere close to Dugan. Just leave it up to someone else. It’s not going to be easy to find
Noctis vigeo
. It’s going to be—”

“I just want to help,” I explain to him.

“Yes, but--”

I interrupt him with a kiss between the cool metal bars of his cell. “You know Alberico won’t allow me to go anyway.”

“Thank Sòl for that.” Jacoby says. “I’ve already lost everyone I’ve ever cared about—my parents, now Isobel—I can’t lose you too, don’t you understand that?”

“I’m sorry.”

“I love you too much, Lark. Please don’t risk yourself—not for me, not for anyone.”

“I won’t.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

“Thank you,” he says with an exasperated sigh. “You don’t always have to be the hero, you know?”

“I rarely feel like a hero at all,” I tell him sadly. I hate feeling so helpless. “I’m going to head up to bed get a few more hours of sleep, okay? I’ll be back soon.”

Disheartened, I trudge slowly up the stairs to my bedroom. I know I’m being selfish entertaining these thoughts of secretly rushing to the Underworld so that I can play the hero. Making myself feel better should be the last thing on my mind right now.

I guess all I can do at this point is just hope that  Adele’s right and that her plan will save Isobel. I know it shouldn't matter how it gets done, but the guilt still stings. I hate feeling like this, like I’m a failure. I know that it’s out of my control, that it’s not really my fault. The poison from the
Noctis vigeo
is just too strong, but that doesn’t lessen the responsibility I feel.

Just as I reach the hallway outside my room, someone grabs my arm from behind and clamps a hand over my mouth, pulling me backwards into an adjacent dark, empty room. Once inside, my captor's grip does not loosen and finers bite into my biceps as I'm forcefully turned to face him or her. By the shadows and stature I can tell that it is an elf, but it's too dark to distinguish any features.

“What's going on? Who are you?” I demand, trying to infuse my voice with all the confidence I don’t feel in my current panicky state. I’m supposed to be safe in the castle. The Dark Elves are unable come to Álfheimr, thanks to the curse and even their humans wouldn’t be able to transport here because they’ve never been here before. At least I know that whoever has pulled me into this dark room has to be a Light Elf, but despite knowing that I can’t erase the fear in my heart.

“Would you do anything to help Isobel?” the now recognizably male elf demands.

“Yes, of course.” I answer in the darkness, trying to wiggle free from his grip.

“Anything?”

“Yes! I’d do anything to help her. Who are you? Let me go!” I fight against him unsuccessfully.

“I know how you can save her and prove your loyalty, if you would just shut up for a moment.”

I stop struggling immediately. “How?”

“First, you must speak of this to no one. They will try to stop you because they don’t trust in your capabilities—they don’t think you’re strong enough.” He pauses, allowing that to sink in before continuing, “In the mountains of the Móh'rhím there lies a Black Crystal surrounded by a blue flame. You must retrieve the crystal and return it to Álfheimr,—you will be able to touch it because you have mortal blood running through your veins. It will give you the strength to heal my beloved.”

My beloved?

“Finnegan?”

“I apologize for my atrocious behavior. I hope you can understand how distraught I was. Now that I have calmed down and thinking clearly, I realize my mistake. Isobel believes in your greatness. Please do not fail her.” With that he slides a piece of paper into my hand without another word and transports out of the room.

I feel around for the doorknob and cautiously open the door. I step out into the hall and look around making sure the coast is clear before heading straight to my room with the small piece of paper clutched tightly in my hands.

I lock the door behind me and gingerly unfold the index card sized piece of paper.

It’s a hand drawn map of the Underworld indicating the location of the Black Crystal. I know that I have to find it—I owe that much to Isobel. Do the others really doubt me? Do they think I’m helpless and weak because they have to ‘babysit’ me? Do they not remember what I’m capable of? Do they think it was just a fluke? I’m the one who was blessed by the Sun Goddess––ME—that has to mean
something
. I can take care of myself.

If I find this Black Crystal, I’ll be able to save Isobel with no help from Adele and prove, once and for all, that I don’t need constant protections. I should be the one protecting them.

With my mind made up, I change into jeans and a t-shirt. I pull a hooded sweatshirt over it and then I put on my cheerleader shoes since they’re the only tennis shoes I own. Since I know that this is going to be a little more extensive than just a pop in and grab a flower then leave kind of trip after all, I grab a small backpack and fill it with bottled water and a box of my chocolate-covered chocolate chip granola bars just in case. 

When I’m sure I have everything I think I might need, I prepare to transport myself except suddenly there’s a problem I hadn’t thought of before. Transporting to the Underworld is going to be tricky. I’ve only ever been in the castle. The idea of transporting directly into Dugan’s castle doesn't sound appealing.

The only option I’m left with is to enter through the portal and while I know the general location, I have no idea if I’ll be able to find it again on my own since I was knocked out before I got close enough to see the portal for myself.

“I had a hunch you were planning something reckless.” A voice from behind me startles me and I let out a shrill squeal. 

“Shh!” Adele rushes over and places her hand over my mouth. “You’ll wake up the whole castle and then we’ll never be able to escape.”

“What are you doing here?” I whisper as soon as she removes her hand from my mouth.

“I’m going with you.”

“How did you--”

“Grey told me to keep an eye on you. He didn’t really believe that you would just sit and wait—not when you felt so guilty about not being able to heal Isobel.”

“And it turns out I was right.” Grey suddenly appears, his lips in a tight line and a stern yet defeated expression in his eyes as though he knows he can’t win this one and he doesn’t like it. But he’s right, he’s not winning. I’m going to the Underworld. I wasn’t going to initially. I was sincere in my concession to discuss it with Alberico first even though I knew that would result in me staying behind while others took the risk. But after hearing from Finnegan that everyone thinks I’m some helpless damsel in distress, I’m determined to prove them all wrong.

I know it’s a risk, but I also know that I’d never forgive myself if I didn’t at least try. I do feel like I owe Isobel that much.

“Why does everyone think it’s okay to just pop into my room whenever they want? Haven’t you ever heard of knocking? A girl’s entitled to some--”

“Mia,” Grey interrupts. “We don’t have much time. If we’re going to make it to the Underworld before anyone notices that we are gone, we need to leave now.”

“We?” His declaration of unity surprises me.

“Of course. You didn’t really think we’d let you go alone did you?” Grey asks.

“When do we ever leave you alone?” Adele smiles and I think she’s just teasing but I can’t help but grimace in return.

“How are we going to get there?” Grey asks. “I’m guessing that transporting into the castle isn’t the best idea but that’s the only location we’ve ever traveled to.”