In This Skin (31 page)

    Noel spoke quickly. ”Benedict's offered us his spare bedroom.”

    ”You can stay as long as you like,”Benedict told her. ”You too, Ellery:' ”Wait… just wait a minute.”Robyn thought: I'm losing control over my life. Decisions have been made on my behalf. I'm going to be like a little kid again, being bossed by people who think they know better than me. ”Leave here?”Her stomach spasmed so painfully she almost doubled up.

    But no… no way She wouldn't even flinch as her muscles twisted and bunched into knots. She wouldn't allow anything to give another human being leverage on her own free will… her own ability to decide what she did with her life.

    Noel picked up the flashlight. ”We can leave most of our things here. If the door's locked they should be safe. But take anything of value. Do you want me to pack your clothes?”

    “Wo.”She took a deep breath to steady her jangling nerves. ”Noel, we've been making this place our home.”

    ”Robyn?”He smiled as if she'd cracked a silly joke. ”You've seen those damn birds outside. Last night a guy with a heap of chopped liver for a mouth tried to drag you away to… God knows where. Surely you don't want to stay here?”

    ”Yes. I do want to stay here, Noel. I want to stay here with you. We've worked to make this apartment into a home where we can live together as a couple.”

    ”But not after everything's happened. That would be…”He stopped short of saying crazy. ”It wouldn't be wise, honey”

    Robyn glanced at Benedict and Ellery. Both appeared uncomfortable witnessing this argument between boyfriend and girlfriend. She closed her eyes for a moment, sensing powerful tidal forces flow through her mind as well as her body. ”Please, Noel… I'm staying here. I have to stay here.”

    ”Robyn-”

    ”I don't know why. All I know is I must stay”

    ”You can't. It's dangerous. You heard what Benedict said?”

    ”Yes. I heard perfectly In fact, he described people who felt the same way as me. They were compelled to come here. I'm compelled to stay”

    For the first time in a while, Ellery spoke. ”M-me, too.”

    Robyn saw the way that Noel glared at Ellery. There was fiery light in Noel's eyes, one that suggested jealousy and suspicion. You could almost hear him thinking: Now why does Ellery want to stay close to Robyn?

    Calmly but firmly, Robyn said, ”Please don't make me leave this place, Noel.”

    ”But it's too dangerous to stay”

    ”I'm even nauseated at the idea of going,”she insisted. ”If you don't feel what I'm feeling… or what Ellery's feeling… it's hard to explain. But if you make me leave here I think I will die.”

    Ellery gave a serious nod. He felt the same.

    ”I-I don't know,”she said. ”I can't put the feeling into words. But it would be like telling a pregnant woman in labor not to give birth. It's physically impossible to will yourself to stop the contractions.”Robyn looked at the crows beyond the windows.

    ”Maybe those birds feel the same way. Something calls to them and they fly here. They can't stop themselves. They only know they've got to come.”

    Benedict let out a lungful of air in a whistle. ”That's a persuasive argument for staying.”

    Noel fixed Robyn with pleading eyes. ”Are you sure you won't even try to leave?”

    Robyn shook her head. ”No. I'm staying. I must.”

    ”I'm ss-staying, too.”Ellery squeezed the padded arms of the chair as if to prevent anyone from dragging him outside by force. ”Nn-need to.”

    Noel shot Ellery that fierce look again, then said, ”Shoot.”He ran his hands through his hair with such a look of concern in his eyes that Robyn nearly broke down and wept. Instead she clenched her hands and straightened her back.

    ”We…”She corrected herself. ”I've got to see this thing through. I'm here for a reason. I know I am.”

    Noel stared. For a second she thought he'd beg her to leave or begin yelling at her to pack her things. Then the stare of disbelief softened into one of acceptance… reluctant acceptance. ”It's okay,”he told her. ”I'm not going to force you. I'm staying.”

    She noticed Ellery visibly relax now that he knew Noel wasn't going to haul her from the building. Now everyone turned to Benedict for his response to this uncanny attachment to the old Luxor.

    For a moment he said nothing. He gazed through the window at the accumulating mass of crows. Then softly he spoke: ”There is a time to be born, a time to die, a time to reap and a time to sow.”He took a breath.

    ”That is to say, that a certain quality exists in a moment of time, and that quality is attached to the relevant hour or moment. Astrologists call that the 'objective time moment.'

    Scientists call it 'synchronicity. Now I'm going to call it destiny.”His gaze roved around the room, as if he could see the uncanny glimmer of supernatural forces sizzling across walls to leap into their hearts and minds, and plant a deep root there that would embed the spirit of the Luxor inextricably inside of them. He said, ”This is our destiny, to be in the Luxor over the next few hours. Because something is coming.

    Something big… something bigger than we can imagine. And we're required by powers unseen and powers unknown to be here in this building when it does.”

    Outside, the crows-those circling blots of grave-pit darkness-began their chilling call.

    

    

    Waiting… waiting for what? And when? And how? Waiting hurts sometimes.

    Waiting. It can have the mean ability to ache your body from head to toe; waiting becomes a source of physical hurt.

    Robyn lay in bed beside Noel. She gazed up into darkness, seeing nothing with her eyes, yet her thoughts gunned images through her brain.

    Crowding in there were vivid recollections of the creature that possessed a great red blossom of lips erupting from the bottom half of its face. She recalled the vivid mental picture of it seizing her in the gray, dripping forest, one that could be accessed in some deeply mysterious way through the dance floor. She recalled Benedict describing what he'd seen on the old videotape, how a creature had abducted Lockram's son. Her mind kept returning to Ellery. She couldn't get his face out of her head. Surely it couldn't be sexual attraction, could it? On seeing him for the first time she hadn't thought: Oh, he's so good looking. No, her reaction was that she'd known him once. Known him as well as her own family… no!

    Better than her own family. When she'd seen him her heart had leapt, while every nerve in her flesh had zinged with an electricity she'd never experienced before.

    Now Ellery slept on the couch. Benedict had been good to his word and chosen to stay. Ellery-good, kindhearted Ellery-had insisted that Benedict take the bed in the spare room, the one that housed the crib where Nathaniel Lockram must have slept all those years ago, and from where the creature had stolen him wrapped in a blanket. Now the time stood just one minute after midnight. Her mind jostled with a thousand images and a thousand questions. Robyn couldn't sleep. Her stomach fluttered. Images of tiny limbs stirring in her womb joined the restless throng inside her head. When she rubbed her belly, trying to soothe those twitchy movements, it must have alerted Noel that she was awake.

    ”Can't sleep?”he asked.

    ”There's too many things going round in my mind.”

    ”Me, too.”

    ”Would you like a drink?”

    ”No,”he whispered. ”I'll tell you what I do need right now. I need to hold you, Robyn.”

    In a small voice, Robyn said, ”Thank you.”She knew what he'd do next.

    There, in the darkened bedroom, he slid across the bed to her, slipping his arms around her as he came closer. She felt his lips on hers. Her lover's muscles were rocklike with tension. She knew she could help him relax. She had the ability to relieve that angst. Just a couple of months ago when he'd got himself all wired over an incident at college, when he'd been wrongly accused of copying another student's assignment, she'd eased him from his anxiety. Noel's arms had been as tense as this; the muscles in his face had been so hard that, to the touch of her lips, it seemed as if his skin overlaid a structure of solid steel. But she'd run a deep tub for him, into which she'd poured scented oil. After that, she'd lit sandalwood candles. Then she'd seduced him. By morning he lay sleeping with a relaxed smile on his face, all his features softened.

    Now he needed to make love.

    It makes perfect sense, she told herself. This is what we both need.

    Lovemaking will release all that pent up muscle tension. Afterwards, we'll sleep until morning. Now come on, Robyn, let him inside of you.

    You can do this. You've done it before. Jeez, how do you think you became pregnant? An immaculate conception? You became pregnant because you got naked with Noel and consented-eagerly lustfully consented-to him making love to you. It was only the fault of that perfidious little pill that you must have forgotten to swallow that got you impregnated…

    The wash of thoughts as Robyn felt his mouth pressed hard to hers was intended to flood away the instinct to reject his attentions. She tried hard. She knew sexual penetration couldn't harm the fetus. This would be good for both of them. After all, this was a virgin bed as far as they were concerned. It was time to hit that first big erotic home run.

    Noel's passion became a tidal wave of love, sweeping over her, leaving her breathless as he kissed her. His hands caressed her body. Slowly, he slid his hand up the inside of her nightdress. Fingertips found her breasts, stroking one then the other, then lightly pinching her nipples.

    The rush of his respiration became a hurricane. He rolled her onto her back, then used the stroking of her inner thigh to gently ease her legs apart.

    She thought: Let him do this, Robyn. You love him. He loves you. You want to be with him. Sex is good. Sex mates life partners.

    He shrugged off the T-shirt he wore for bed, then moved over so even though she couldn't see him, she sensed him poised above her in the darkness. His excited breath brushed against her face. He shifted his balance so he could lower himself onto her as a prelude to slipping his penis between her legs. As always he was gentle. Considerate. Despite his muscular power, never clumsy Never thoughtlessly rushed.

    But… dear God… I want him to stop. I want him to stop now. I can't bear him to enter me.

    Once more that alien revulsion she'd experienced before at the prospect of sex with Noel erupted inside of her. It roared through her arteries, screamed through bones, through her nerves. No. No! NO! Her muscles formed fierce knots that sent flashes of agony searing through her stomach. She clenched her jaws together to stop herself from screaming out. She knew her face twisted and contorted into a mask of pure revulsion. Common sense told her sex with Noel would be good, would be beneficial. Life-affirming. But something in her body wouldn't permit it. Tension formed hard fingers that fiercely gripped her heart, squeezing it with such savagery she nearly passed out. She knew that if Noel pushed his penis into her it would kill her. The notion was absurd, it was insane… but there it was… the overwhelming furnace of instinct that blazed inside her. Whatever happens she must not let Noel enter her body. If he makes love to me he will KILL the baby.

    These thoughts flashed through her head in a split second as she struggled not to cry out as cramps jagged her stomach. While all the time the potential murderer of her unborn child spoke lovingly to her, stroked her thigh, kissed her breasts.

    One of her hands was pressed to Noel's back. Robyn kept her fingers bunched into a fist because that alien, evil-minded instinct urged her to dig her fingernails into his skin and claw him away from her… anything to protect the baby swimming inside her womb. Her other hand gripped the bed frame at her side. Even at this moment the rational side of her hoped she could ride out this emotional storm. That she could lie there. Let Noel make love to her. Then it would be over. But the rational side sank beneath an instinct raging that she should protect herself from penetration.

    ”I love you,”he told her.

    Then it started. The gentle pressure against her vagina. A muscley torpedo shape, engorged with blood. A pulse beat within its shaft. Noel let out a heartfelt sigh of pleasure as he eased himself down.

    'Wo.”Robyn's rejection of Noel came as a hiss through gritted teeth rather than a shout. Her hand whipped outward to the bedside table. As if watching from a distance, she saw herself grab the clock radio and smash it into the side of Noel's head. It all happened in a split second in the dark. And, dear God, she was appalled.

    ”Noel, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hit you. I don't know what's-”

    ”Robyn.”Noel switched on the flashlight. The light bounced back from the wall, revealing her boyfriend kneeling up in bed, looming over her. His eyes glittered with total shock. ”Robyn, what the hell did you do that for?”

    ”Please. I'm sorry. I felt sick. It's what's happening here… Noel?

    Noel, what are you doing?”Panic rose inside of her as she watched him move. ”Noel, please come back to bed.”

    Instead, she watched him drag on his jeans. He didn't bother with a T-shirt or shoes. In horror she watched him open the drawer in his bedside table, pull out the canvas wallet that contained the handgun. In silent rage he dragged the gun from the wallet, threw the canvas bag aside, then checked the gun, spinning the magazine so he could see the brassy gleam of the ammunition.

    ”Noel… oh, God, please don't do this.”

    He picked up the flashlight. The hard white light reformed his face into a mask riven by gullies, scarred by shadow. God, yes, there was a fury there. A blazing fury that screamed violence.