In Too Deep (19 page)

“Mom, Dad,” I could barely speak as I held it out for them to see. For a moment we all stared at the certificate, too stunned to react.

“I guess I can't keep this,” I sighed, certain that's what they'd say. But I was wrong.

“Well, now, I think it would be insulting to try to return it,” Dad said. “Mr. Chapman is obviously a man of some means, and I don't suppose he'd have given this to you if he couldn't well afford it. He's probably only too happy to be able to do something for you, in return for what you did for Amber. It's a huge gift, but I don't see any reason you can't have it.”

Mom agreed, though she did her usual thing of saying I should write a nice letter thanking Mr. Chapman for the generous gift, as if I wouldn't have known enough to do that without her telling me.

Ten thousand dollars towards my education! I was overwhelmed. It seemed such an enormous amount, and I certainly hadn't expected to get anything. But
then, that might be part of the joy Mr. Chapman would have gotten in giving it — knowing that it would come as a complete surprise.

The one person I felt most sorry for in the end was, believe it or not, Tony. I expected him to despise me once he found out I was the one who'd gone to the police about him, but I soon discovered that wasn't true. He came to my locker one morning, which kind of scared me. I was sure he was going to say something nasty. What he did say was entirely different.

“I guess you must hate me.”

“Hate you?” Surprise showed in my tone. “Why?”

“Because your friend almost got blamed for what I did.”

“That's true,” I conceded, “but I don't hate you for it. I know you were in a mess, and it would have been pretty hard to go to the police and confess.”

“I should have, though. It got so I couldn't even sleep at night. I kept thinking about that poor girl and how she was being accused for something I'd done. On top of it, I had all these gambling debts that I couldn't pay, and the more I tried to win back the money, the deeper in debt I got. It was like a sickness.”

“It must have been awful for you.”

“My stomach was so nauseated most of the time that I could hardly even eat. It was like living in one of those dreams where you're trying to run from something
and your feet are moving but you're not going anywhere and the thing chasing you keeps getting closer and closer. Know what I mean?”

I nodded.

“I was scared all the time. Scared of what was going to happen to me if I couldn't keep coming up with the money I owed. Scared of being found out. And still, I couldn't stop. Now, even though everyone knows what I did and I have to go to court, it's like a huge weight off me. I'll never gamble again.”

“Everyone makes mistakes, Tony. I hope things will get better for you now.”

“They already are. It's like I finally got away from the thing that was going to catch me. And you know what the worst thing is? It's knowing that my mother saw what was going on all along and never did anything about it. If it wasn't for you, I'd still be gambling and stealing, getting in deeper and deeper. I owe you.”

I didn't argue with that. I guess it was better for him to feel he owed me something than to owe gambling debts.

The muse and I acknowledge, with thanks, contributions from the following persons:

My husband, partner, and best friend, Brent, for his endless love, faith, and support.

My children, Anthony and Pamela, for inspiring me daily.

My parents, Bob and Pauline Russell, and my brothers, Danny and Andrew, and their respective partners, Gail and Shelley, for their love and encouragement.

The Sherrards, for being my second family in every sense.

My sixth grade teacher, Alf Lower, for planting the seed that grew.

Friends who have been amazingly supportive are: Janet Aube, Karen Donovan, Ray Doucet, Karen Dyer, John Hambrook, Sandra Henderson, Marsha Skrypuch,
and Bonnie Thompson. At work, I have been much encouraged by my exceptional staff: Jimmy Allain, Karen Arseneault, Carol Forrest, Mary Matchett, Julia Trevors, Ann Craik, Beatrice Tucker, Dawn Black, Gabrielle Kennedy, Sharon Murphy, Sue Fitzpatrick, Eric Fallon, Edison Jardine, and Dianne Miles.

At The Dundurn Group, I am sincerely grateful to Kirk Howard, Publisher, and the team that makes the complicated task of turning out a final product look easy. Particular thanks are due to:

Barry Jowett, Senior Editor, for his guidance, support, and patience.

Kerry Breeze, who was a great publicist and is a grand human being.

Andrea Pruss, Copy Editor, for knowing all the rules.

Jennifer Scott, for her amazing cover designs.

Jennifer Easter (Queen Jen) for innumerable behind-the-scenes efforts.