© 2012 by Mary Connealy
Published by Bethany House Publishers
11400 Hampshire Avenue South
Bloomington, Minnesota 55438
Bethany House Publishers is a division of
Baker Publishing Group, Grand Rapids, Michigan
Ebook edition created 2011
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meansâfor example, electronic, photocopy, recordingâwithout the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.
ISBN 978-1-4412-6998-0
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.
Scripture quotations are from the King James Version of the Bible.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, incidents, and dialogues are products of the author's imagination and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
Cover design by Dan Pitts
Cover photography by Mike Habermann Photography, LLC
Author is represented by Natasha Kern Literary Agency
The internet addresses, email addresses, and phone numbers in this book are accurate at the time of publication. They are provided as a resource. Baker Publishing Group does not endorse them or vouch for their content or permanence.
In Too Deep is dedicated to the newest member of our family, my grandson Isaac. The first boy born into this branch of the Connealy family in over fifty years and well worth the wait.
Chapter 1
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Chapter 2
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Chapter 3
Chapter 4
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Chapter 5
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Chapter 6
Chapter 7
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Chapter 8
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Chapter 9
Chapter 10
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Chapter 11
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Chapter 12
Chapter 13
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Chapter 14
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Chapter 15
Chapter 16
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Chapter 17
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Chapter 18
Chapter 19
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Chapter 20
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Chapter 21
Chapter 22
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Chapter 23
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Chapter 24
Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.
Isaiah 41:10
August 15, 1866
“Ethan! Where's Maggie?”
Ethan's head snapped up at Audra's sharp tone. “What?”
Audra, rounding a boulder, just coming into view, dropped an armload of kindling. With baby Lily clutched to her chest, she charged forward, calling, “Maggie! Maggie!”
“I thought she was with you.” Ethan rose from where he was crouching by the morning fire and turned in a circle, searching for the toddler.
No sign of her.
“I thought you took her.” Audra's voice rose in agitation. She'd been gathering sticks while holding her baby. The confounded woman refused to just sit and rest and watch the children while Ethan got a meal.
“Maggie! Honey, where are you?” She raised her voice, did her best to sound playful, when under it Ethan heard panic. Audra turned, looking frantically, her eyes wide with fear.
“Maggie . . .” He tried to copy Audra's easygoing tone. Scaring the toddler wouldn't get her to come in.
“You're sure Rafe and Julia didn't let her ride along with them to Rawhide?” He charged toward a clump of aspens and shoved his way in to see if she'd crawled behind them.
“No. I was holding her when they rode off. Maggie was running after them. I told you I was going for firewood.”
“You said you were taking the babies.”
“I said
baby
, not babies. Maggie was sitting under those aspens, playing with your hat when Iâ” Audra's voice sharpened. “Ethan, where's Seth?”
Audra strode around to the back of the boulder she'd just circled. “Maggie? Maggie, come to Mama.”
Mentioning Seth made Ethan's gaze swing to the cave opening. Ethan's hat lay on the ground by the entrance. A knife of fear slashed Ethan's chest as he looked at that black opening that led downward forever.
“My hat! Over there!” Ethan started running. “Maybe she went in the cave. Maybe Seth went after her. Seth!”
“Maggie, honey, come to Mama.” Audra's falsely chirpy voice faded as Ethan left her at the camp. He dashed into the cold tunnel and stumbled to a stop. The dark was like a choking hand. His throat closed. He forced himself to drag in a breath.
“Seth! Where are you?” He forced each word out, forced his feet to move forward. Each step a battle of wills. His eyes went to a torch stuck in a crack. He pulled out a tin of matches.
“Maggie! Maggie, come back.” Audra caught up and passed him.
“Wait outside for me.” He was talking to her back. Fumbling with the tin box, he struck a match and it snapped in half. With shaking hands he tried again and finally got the torch lit.
Audra rushed deeper in, Lily cradled in her arm. The baby was just a month old. Where was Rafe when Ethan needed him?
“Don't bring the baby in here. It's cold.” And dangerous, but he didn't say that out loud. Audra vanished around a curve. Ethan's torch cast flickering shadows that grabbed at him.
“Maggie!” Audra's voice echoed from ahead. Ethan hurried to catch up.
“Audra, wait!” Ethan got to the split in the tunnel. One trail descended a long, long way, and he saw Audra moving down it. No lantern. Was the woman crazy? The other way led to a larger cave. A hole in the ceiling let sunlight in. “Let's check ahead first.”
Audra paused at the downward trail and looked back. “She wouldn't have come in here. Not this far.”
“She moves fast.” Ethan's breathing sped up. He imagined Maggie going down that slope. She'd fall. She might slide a long way. If she wasn't too badly hurt, she'd get up and be so lost. So lost in the dark.
“Seth had to bring her.” Something flashed across Audra's expression. Pure mama grizzly bear.
“Go look around outside.” He wanted her out of here for her own good, but also so she wouldn't see him if he shamed himself with his fear. “I'll hunt in here. Lily shouldn't be in this cold place.”
Audra gave him a look of utter contempt. “I'm not going to stop looking for Maggie.”
She wrapped the blankets tighter around Lily. “Let's look ahead, before we go down.”
Heaving a sigh of relief at not being left, even as he wished she'd get out, Ethan forced himself to lead the way to the place they'd found Seth's bedroll. “If she's alone, she can't have gone far. If she's with Seth, she's all right.”
I hope soâconsidering Seth is half loco.
They reached the small cave room with the light trickling in from overhead. It was empty.
Ethan's panic subsided just a bit with the light shining in from the punctured ceiling. Then he thought of where he had to go next, and his heart pounded until he could feel it in his ears.
Ethan turned to that downward tunnel. “Audra, this floor is steep and it's cold and wet. You shouldn't have Lily in here.”
“Are you going to lead the way or should I?”
Gritting his teeth, he set out. “At least let me go first. Then if you fall, I can stop you from sliding.” He caught her and pushed past.
“Maggie!” Audra's voice bounced and echoed and boomed. All those repeating voices felt like evil spirits to Ethan. How he hated this cavern.
Hated.
Hated!
Hated!
“Maggie, honey, are you here?” Audra's words echoed back to him like drumbeats. Restless, like natives on the warpath. This place was restless. Alive. Waiting.
He stepped down the slope, each step slower. He hadn't been this deep in ten years. But he cared about that little girl, so he took another step. One at a time. “Maggie! Seth!”
He knew what lay ahead from listening to Rafe and Julia and Seth. A place that dripped overhead. Rafe said the tunnel passed under the stream that ran near Audra and Julia's old shack. They weren't near it yet, but Ethan felt that stream break through the roof, drowning him, washing him into a deep grave. A ride that went all the way to the devil.
Each step, each breath was forced. But he did it. He moved. Then he couldn't.
His feet stopped.
Audra caught up and poked him in the shoulders. “Hurry up.”
“I . . . I . . .” He could
not
take another step. He would have to admit he'd let a child die because he was so useless. A coward. He hated caring what Audra would think. Hated caring about a little lost girl.
He'd sworn to never feel this much again.
“Ethan, come on. Is something wrong?”
He was smothering. His heart pounded so loud he could hear it, and then the walls seemed to have a heartbeat, as if he were inside a living creature. He had to get out. He had to admit it.
It shamed him but he couldn't move. Not forward.
Before he could confess his fear, he saw a light.
“Look! In that gap, someone's in there.” Audra grabbed Ethan's shoulder and shoved him forward. She would have passed him, but the tunnel was too narrow.
“Seth! Are you in there?” Audra's voice echoed off the walls.
“Hey, Audra, Ethan. What are you doing in here?” Seth's voice came from a narrow side tunnel. A light appeared. Seth, torch in hand, poked his head out of a crack Ethan thought was nothing but a shadow.
It was the worst thing about this cavernâdanger hidden in the shadows.
Seth was empty-handed.
“Where's Maggie?” Audra's voice was so tight it squeaked.
Ethan's heart, already trying to hammer its way out of his chest, doubled in speed.
“She's with me.” Seth looked down at his feet and frowned. “She was right here.” He turned around and vanished back in that crack. “Maggie, come on out.”
Audra wedged past Ethan and rushed into the little fissure. With stumbling steps, Ethan approached the opening. It was tall and narrow, as if someone had slashed the stone with a knife.
“Where is she, Seth?” Audra was fighting to stay calm. “You shouldn't have let her go. We might never find her down here.”
Ethan could tell she was about one second away from screaming.
“I just put her down for a second. Don't worry. She can't get into any trouble in here.”
Ethan knew for an absolute fact this wasn't true. He needed to help. He needed to search.
Uphill, movement caught his eye. Maggie toddled into view as if she had stepped straight out of the rock. Ethan dashed for her and almost had her when she ran into another crack across from where she'd appeared. He dove at her and felt the fabric of her little skirt, but his fingers closed on air. She squealed happily as if they were playing a game.
“She's out here.” Rushing after Maggie, he'd realized how tight the tunnel was. He crouched and scrambled faster.
“Come back, Maggie.” He heard the anxious tone and fought to control it, to keep from scaring her.
She giggled and her little doeskin shoes scuffed on stone.
Banging his head on the ceiling of the tunnel, he stooped lower. The tunnel twisted one way, then another. His torch cast light on a flicker of white. It had to be Maggie.
“Magpie, wait for me.” The ceiling dropped more until Ethan had to crawl. The walls began scrubbing his shoulders. His torch gave him only one hand to spare. If this got too tight for himâbut not for Maggieâhow would he get to her?
“Maggie, let's go see Mama.” Ethan hated the phony sound of his voice, his fear not concealed at all.
“Where are you, Ethan?” Audra was hollering, echoing, panicking.
“Call for her, Audra.”
A flash of white showed in the tunnel ahead.
“Maggie, come to Mama.”
The white quit moving. Ethan lunged forward and grabbed Maggie's skirt with his left hand just as she toppled forward with a scream of fear. Her weight hung from the dress. Her little arms lifted as the dress slipped up and threatened to pull off.
Ethan, flat on his belly, pulled her back. The loose dress hitched up and almost dragged over her head. To free his other hand, he tossed the torch forward to keep it from burning Maggie. At the same time he made a desperate grab and caught her flailing arm.
The bright arc of the torch curved up, then plummeted out of sight. Dropped into nothingness. Ethan knocked rubble forward and he heard rocks echo and bounce. Falling after the torch. He didn't hear anything hit bottom.
Maggie's screams changed to sobs of pain.
He pulled Maggie back, his grip too tight on her little arm.
Tucking her against his chest, he let go of her arm the instant she was safe. She fought him.
“Hey, Ethan, you shouldn't've taken Maggie down that tunnel. It's not safe.” Seth sounded concerned.
The idiot.
“We're fine.” Ethan was about as far from fine as a man could be. The tunnel ceiling was only inches over his head. He couldn't turn around.
Maggie's crying announced that she was alive and had the energy for tears.
“It's not safe?” Audra asked. “
That
tunnel's not safe?”
Ethan was having the devil's own time backing up. With the ceiling too low to let him get to his hands and knees, and Maggie wiggling in his arms, he could barely move. He inched backward. Maggie cried and kicked. He kept her hugged awkwardly against his chest with his left hand and used his right to shove himself backward.
“Maggie, don't cry.” Ethan felt the whole mountain pressing on all sides. How many dead drops were there in here? How many ways to die that a man could never know aboutâuntil the moment he was dying?
“Ethan, what's going on?” Audra sounded close to hysterics.
Ethan couldn't say as he blamed her. “I've got her. I'm coming back. It's slow because it's a tight squeeze. But we're fine.”
The chill of the tunnel told Ethan his shirt was drenched with sweat. His heart pounded. He could barely draw a breath in the tight space.
Finally he got back far enough that he could hold his head up. It was pitch-dark because he'd thrown his torch away. He could imagine little side tunnels tricking him into following them away from where Audra and Seth waited. The tunnel got bigger. On his hands and knees now, he sped up.
Maggie's cries faded to whimpers. Ethan whispered nonsense to her, trying to push back both their fears. The ceiling rose. Ethan got to his feet, ashamed of his wobbly knees. He crouched, but he at last managed to turn around and move much faster. Almost running. Hoping he hadn't gone off down some side tunnel.
The thought struck him and he stopped, terrified to take another step. Just then Audra appeared, torch in one hand, Lily in the other. His breath
whooshed
out in relief.
In the flickering firelight, his eyes met hers. He saw such fear he wondered that she could stand upright. He looked past her and saw Seth with his own torch.
“Go on back.” His voice broke, so he couldn't say more.
Audra wheeled around, pushed at Seth to get him moving, and in a few steps they were in the larger tunnel.
Finally Ethan was out of the tunnelâthe small side oneâand into a bigger tunnel. Always another stupid tunnel that led God only knew where.