Incendiary (44 page)

“Absolutely not. The only thing you can do is reassure him until he believes you. It’s your body. If you aren’t ready, it’ll be worse for you to bring another baby into the world.”

“But I love him,” I whine. “Sorry. I’m sure you don’t understand how I don’t want to do this yet, but I want to please him, too.”

“I understand more than you know,” she says with soft laughter. “Do you know Kendall? The tall, gorgeous redhead?”

I nod. She’s unforgettable in her beauty.

“She’s an attorney. I wanted a career like her and Zoann—a nurse—but I’m so satisfied being Christopher’s wife and my kids’ mother. Kind of confusing, yes?”

More at ease, I smile though I still want to cry. I want to wake up and discover my mother’s death is a repeat of the nightmare I had months ago when she and I floated in a nebulous void. She had a rope around her broken neck. Gasping, I cover my mouth. Did I foreshadow her suicide?

Is that even possible?

“Are you okay?” Meggie’s concerned voice floats to me, and I struggle with the images in my head and the hurt coursing through me.

“My mother was buried two days ago.”

“Oh, Georgie! I’m so sorry.”

It was all over the television, too. Whoever is connected to Sloane in such a personal way is suddenly famous and has an elevated status in life. If Mom had only survived her mental illness, she would’ve discovered people knew her by association.

“She hung herself,” I tell her, breaking down in gut-wrenching sobs because she’s gone and all day, I haven’t been able to stop imagining her dead body. I saw it in my nightmare.

I hold Bryn tighter while Meggie rubs my back and allows me to cry and explain the whole sordid story about Sloane and Mom, Abby and Dad, and where I fit into all of it. I tell her how I want to believe Sloane hasn’t cheated on me.

“It wouldn’t be his fault if he did. I never told him I expected otherwise.”

“You didn’t have to tell him,” Meggie retorts. “He knows what you expect. That’s why he told you he’s stopped sleeping with other women.”

“But you saw him! He’s everywhere with all these gorgeous women on his arms.”

“Actually, I didn’t see him. I don’t follow him or his band that closely that I’d pay attention.”

I sniffle, still surprised that there are people in the world who aren’t Phoenicians.

“Does Christopher cheat?”

“No,” she says without hesitation. “That isn’t to say the beginning of our relationship wasn’t hard and filled with other women. He’s a biker and he’s gorgeous. Women are still…
were
still around, and will be again when this latest incident is dealt with.”

“Could you forgive him if he’d slept with your mother?”

A sad smile passes over her face. “I forgave him for killing my father,” she whispers and squeezes my hand. “Christopher and I are friends. I want to punch him sometimes because he makes me so mad, but I adore him. We respect each other and we carry each other. He’s mine and I’m his, and no one can change that or take it from us.”

“So you two have similar interests, despite the age difference?”

She holds out her hands for Bryn and smiles as I put my daughter in her arms, before continuing. “The women you met. Zoann, Bailey, and Kendall? Their stories are theirs to tell, but I know for a fact that they love their husbands just as much. Kendall and Johnnie are the most alike. They’re both beautiful and educated and goal-oriented.” She smiles with fondness. “They’re also both pretty snarky. It didn’t matter though because their road to their happiness was the longest and the hardest. Liking the same things helps, but friendship, loyalty, and respect matters more. Are you and Sloane friends?”

“Yes.” We are. Whatever else that happened between us, we became friends months ago.

“So you like him?”

“Um…that’s an odd question. But yeah, I like him.”

“As a person, I mean.”

I roll my eyes and sniff. “I know what you mean.”

“He likes you?”

My brows draw together. As a lover, he never complains. As a person, though, he wants me to change. “I think,” I say morosely. “As long as I don’t curse. Then, he makes a big deal out of it.”

“I don’t curse, so that isn’t an issue with Christopher and I. If I did and he told me to stop or else, he’d have problems. Zoann? She’s a Donovan, through and through. She’ll curse you out just as quickly as she’ll punch you. Val dare not try to change her if he wants teeth left in his mouth.”

I giggle, then sober immediately. “Do you think it’s because I’m so young that he feels it necessary to dictate to me? I-I mean what happens when…suppose I decide to push back? Will he still love me?”

“I’ll finally be twenty-one in a couple of months and Christopher will be thirty-six in five months. I’ve grown up a lot since I arrived here. But I haven’t outgrown Christopher because he allows me to grow.”

“I’m turning eighteen in five weeks.”

“Milestones for both of us,” she teases with a clap. “We should totally have a big party together since my birthday is so close to yours.”

“Would you care if the band plays?”

“Not at all.”

“You may not like me once you meet Kiln,” I say. “The dickhole will have fun terrorizing you.”

“I don’t think so,” she says with a snort. “Christopher will shoot him. Who is he, anyway?”

“My dickhead brother-in-law and Sloane’s personal bodyguard. And your husband wouldn’t even know about it. He does shit on the sly.”

“Um, yes, he would. I would
tell
my husband.”

I sigh and rub my forehead. “Yeah, I guess. It’s just kind of hard to tell Sloane that Kiln scared the shit out of me and sucked my tit when I was still nursing Bryn. I didn’t know where to begin to tell him.”

“I know that feeling,” Meggie mumbles.

Outlaw swigs from his bottle of tequila. “Relax, motherfucker. The fucker crazy enough to breach club premises ain’t been born yet.”

“Or already dead cuz we caught his dumb ass,” Mortician offers.

I laugh at their camaraderie and the genuine brotherhood they have. My band members and I seem to be repairing our relationship slowly.

“Sloane?” Val calls, smoke from his cigarette circling his head. “I want to hear about the amazing fucking you had with groupies.”

“You’re a fucking pervert,” Johnnie says, snickering, then looks at me. “Excuse him.”

“Yeah, cuz he’s a dumb motherfucker,” Outlaw growls, glaring at him. “Assfuck, the man wife on fuckin’ premises. You askin’ him to spill the beans when his girl can walk in is like you fuckin’ askin’ me to talk about the bitches I stuck my dick in before I met Megan.”

“And before he married Chester.” Mortician seems to enjoy adding on to what Outlaw says.

“Before you met Bailey,” Johnnie retorts.

“Before—” Cash begins.

“Shut the fuck up, Cash,” Outlaw orders. “Fuckin’ point made.”

Val shifts his weight. “Didn’t mean nothing by it. Mort play his ass off. Majored in math and minored in music.
And
he’s a biker. He never capitalized on the groupie pussy from the music scene.”

I don’t consider myself a fucking wimp, but the cold warning Outlaw sidles to Val is a look I never want to be the recipient of.

No wonder Helen got Cash and his club brothers involved. Before I can bring up the subject of Helen’s evidence, Outlaw raises a remote and presses a few buttons. The surveillance of the gate, club grounds, and several rooms in the building change. All four televisions focus on the room where Georgie is.

“See. Nothin’ to fuckin’ worry ‘bout. My girl makin’ yours comfortable.”

As Outlaw turns up the sound, it seems as if we’ve caught them mid-conversation.

Georgie’s detailing the sordidness of my affair with her mother. Humiliation roars through me, worsened by the unpleasant reactions of the bikers, particularly Cash.

“Motherfucker,” he growls, adding to my anger that Georgie’s sharing so much information.

Drinking my scotch, I flip Cash off. Then Meggie tells her story. No one moves as she speaks. More because Outlaw’s transfixed with her. Her pain is his as well, and the men know better than to interfere with the bond they have. I’ve only been around them for a few hours, but I see what Meggie means to her husband. It isn’t misplaced on his part. Listening to her love and devotion is almost sacred. When Georgie confesses what she feels for me and what she wants from me, I’m not only humbled but hopeful.

Then, her bombshell.
Kiln
. That motherfucker not only touched her, he tasted her milk. He put his fucking mouth on
my
girl.

“I felt so violated,” she whispers.

Fury swirls through me and I hear nothing else for a moment. Outlaw Caldwell’s unreasonable measures for protecting his young wife resonate with me. Killing a motherfucker like Kiln is too merciful. He needs to suffer first. For days. Then, he can die.

Hands restrain me and I realize I’ve moved toward the hallway.

“The motherfucker who touched your woman need to be put to ground, but if you go to her with this, she gonna talk you the fuck outta it.
And
do a pussy lockout because you was fuckin’ listenin’ on her conversation in the first fuckin’ place.”

My breath comes in short, mad dog pants.

“Have a drink.” Mortician shoves a glass into my hands.

I down the vodka in two gulps and scowl, never a fan of the drink.

“Save that for the fucker who forced your wife,” Mortician advises, not too friendly.

“Yeah,” Outlaw agrees. “Fuck with one of us, we all fuck you up and I kinda like you, motherfucker. I’d hate to blow you the fuck away.”

They all look at me, waiting for me to accept Outlaw’s words or challenge him. I have no wish to get fucking killed, so I breathe in deep.

“Listen up, Sloane. Don’t let your girl know anything while you here. I like gettin’ pussy from Megan. She gonna be a mad lil’ motherfucker if she hear I spied on her and your bitch. Besides, the longer you hold that fuckin’ rage in, the more ways you gonna think of to fuck him up.”

Mortician slides me another filled glass, this time scotch. I almost miss her next words because my frustrated growl is so loud. I don’t want to wait to confront my wife.

“Do you know Silver Night?” Georgie asks Meggie.

I’ve missed more of her conversation, but my pulse kicks up again at her question and I clench my jaw.

“You got my sister into porn?” Cash snaps.

“Has she been talking about me, motherfucker?” I snarl.

Georgie giggles and Outlaw snickers. I’ve missed Meggie’s response.

“It’s not a perfume, silly.
She’s
a porn star. A skin flick chick, Kiln says.”

“And what reason would he have to tell you about her?” Meggie asks, her brows lifting.

“She and Sloane fucked a few times,” Georgie responds bluntly.

Meggie nods. “Um, I admire how you accept his affairs.”

“Are you crazy? Every time I think of him with someone else I want to die.”

“So not only did your brother-in-law, um, suck your nip…milk—”

“Bryn’s milk. I didn’t even want Sloane tasting it.”

“Umkay.”

“You don’t give a shit about that part, huh?”

“I have tales of my own,” Meggie admits with a pretty blush. “I’m just trying to figure out why this Kiln would touch you without permission and then tell you about your husband’s affair with the porn star.”

“No, Sloane slept with Silver before we met. I doubt they still have contact with each other.”

Her assumption makes me wince. I saw the woman, stark naked, a few days ago.

“So Kiln was…?”

“Telling me Sloane would leave and I’d need money. He wanted me to suck his dick in exchange for money and also he’d contact Silver and other skin flick chicks and get me into porn.”

“Sound like to me a motherfucker due a monumental ass beating,” Mortician says with all seriousness.

“No,” I bark, “he’s in line to have his fucking tongue yanked out and his lips seared with lit cigarettes.”

“Add that fuckin’ shit to your torture fuckin’ menu, Johnnie,” Outlaw says with a straight face, tipping his bottle to me. “For that shit, might gotta give you honorary membership.”

“I’m doing it to protect Sloane,” Georgie rushes out as I refocus on whatever else she might expose. “Kiln’s a fucking dickhead, but he…he’s good at security. I watched him for weeks and he could barrel through any crowd and get Sloane to wherever he needed to be without issue. But…but all he sees me as is a piece of trash. The day of my wedding, he called me so many names. Josh heard him and swore he’d fuck him up.”

“Josh is your other brother?”

She nods and rubs her temples. “How did we even start discussing Kiln?”

“Um, you want me to tell Cash?” Meggie asks, and I know she’s fully prepared to go to Georgie’s brother.

“Would you really tell your husband?”

“Um, yeah. But I’d make him promise he wouldn’t kill him.”

Georgie’s eyes round.

Outlaw snorts. “The fuckhead who look at Megan cross-eyed a dead motherfucker.”

“We know, Psycho Stalker Wildman,” Val says, rubbing his neck.

“Kiss my motherfuckin’ psycho stalker wild ass.”

I’m not a killer, but I’m fucking angry enough to commit murder on Georgie’s behalf. “You really fucking expect me to do nothing?” I ask Outlaw, who isn’t fazed one bit. Of course, it isn’t
his
wife who just revealed someone sucked her fucking titty.

“Dude, that’s the best way to go,” Johnnie says. He reminds me the most of Maitland, easy-going and smiling the majority of the time.

“Brother, act like you always do around your woman.” Mortician digs in the pocket of his cut and hands me keys. “Take her for a spin on my bike. Get your mind off the bullshit.”

“We’ll see.” Georgie was game before but is she willing to do it now? Knowing how she feels about Bryn, she might think it’s too dangerous. “I’ll talk to her and see if she’s up to it.”

Outlaw lowers the volume on the monitors. “You a good motherfucker. I know whatcha pops accusin’ you of and I didn’t give a fuck one fuckin’ way or the other before. Cash was protectin’ his baby sister. I got five of them bitches. Only two I give a fuck ‘bout, but I under-fuckin-stand where the fuck Cash was comin’ from, so I got Johnnie’s bitch and the club’s attorney to do what-the-fuck-ever Ghost needed.” He nods to Cash. “Your brother-in-law a stealthy motherfucker. Most brothers know him as Ghost, so when we deal with them fuckin’ recordins that’s the fuck who he is.”

Cash moves closer to me and leans against the bar. “What he’s trying to say, Sloane, is
we
have your back. We also have the evidence you need to get off. All you have to do is give us the word and we’ll release it.”

As if it’ll be that fucking easy. Hard to even hope. Still, I take the bait. “How many millions will it cost me?”

Johnnie’s lips tighten and his friendly expression changes. I reassess my comparison to Maitland. My drummer’s a fighter. Johnnie’s a killer.

“Clue this motherfucker in before I fuck him up, Ghost,” Outlaw snaps. “I’m extendin’ club resources to him and he insultin’ the fuck outta me. If I wanted fuckin’ money, I woulda fuckin’ asked. I ain’t got a fuckin’ problem lettin’ motherfuckers know what the fuck I want.”

The entire evening has pissed me the fuck off and I let loose. “While your benevolence is touching, nothing in life’s fucking free. You want to fucking shoot me for pointing out what life’s taught me, then go right ahead.”

“Don’t invite Outlaw to shoot you, fucker,” Johnnie says.

“I killed my wife’s pops,” Outlaw said casually. “Motherfucker had it fuckin’ comin’. You wanna hear what I did to a few other motherfuckers?”

“Not necessarily.”

“Yo, Outlaw, psychological torture John Boy style,” Mortician remarks, grinning. “You changing your MO?”

I scratch my jaw, pretending unease isn’t sliding into me.

“Prez, what the fuck Meggie doing?” Mortician points to the screen and Outlaw narrows his eyes, turning the volume up.

Out of the frame, Georgie’s laughing hysterically at Meggie stuffing three fingers into her mouth.

“See? Told you,” Meggie chortles and pops her fingers out of her mouth, wiggling them. “No teeth.”

“I don’t bite either,” Georgie says with indignation, but laughter lights up her eyes.

Meggie chuckles. “It’s a draw, then. Now, what?”

“A dance off?” Georgie suggests, and I wonder what they’re competing for.

“You like to dance, too?”

“I love it. I even danced with Sloane during one of his practice sessions. That was the most unforgettable experience. Can you imagine being onstage with the man I’m crazy about
and
dancing with him while he sings?”

“You should totally do it at one of his concerts.”