Incendiary (The Premonition Series (Volume 4)) (65 page)

“Do we ever really know entirely what is
in our own hearts?” I ask
. “I’m sitting
here, surrounded by Brennus’
empire—
bottles of blood lin
i
ng the walls like trophies
and I still have a hard time beli
eving that this is truly all he
is—
a killer.”

“D
on’t perceive with just your heart, Evie,” Tau says
. “You haven’t seen him clearly since he took you from
that northern library…feel him—
his taste, his scent…he feels your love but gives none.”

“Brennu
s wants
me to survive,” I sigh in frustration
.

“For his own pleasure only—
not for you to e
xist without him,” Tau counters
. “And he will hold on
to you
until you sever that thread.”

“And Xavier? Will he hold on, too?”
I ask
.
“Because I have an
aspire
.”

“He doesn’t
see it as a legitimate binding—
n
one of us do,” Tau says
softly.

“Why?
” I ask
him
,
completely offended.

“D
o not misunderstand me,” he explains
in a serious tone. “I am grateful to Reed for protecting you and it speaks of his feelings for you that he was willing to bind his life to yours. But, the t
h
reat of death was present in the decision…and the offer. I am worried that there will come a tim
e when the grace of the offer will not be
enough to
satisfy
either of you.”

“You think it was unfair of me to have acc
epted Reed’s offer?” I ask
, feeling shame stain my cheeks at having my fears echoed so eloquently.

“I
’m
afraid that the beauty of your love
can enslave the unsuspecting…and a love
like that is…dismaying,” he says
carefully.

“Reed’
s not my slave,” I say
defensively
. “Our relationship is a partnership.”

“
His life has
utterly changed—i
t i
s chained to yours,” he replies
. “That he has shown such strength in pain is a testament to his love for you, but was it just the
cold,
winter wind that swe
pt you into his arms?” he asks
me.

“You
doubt my love for him?” I ask
him
incredulously
.
“You think I commit
t
ed to him to garner his help?
”

“You fled from him—
straight
into Brennus’ arms,” he replies
.

“I was tr
ying to protect him!” I retort
. “You don’t know what it was like. I had fin
ally figured out that even the D
ivine wanted me dead. I had only just barely escaped Pagan who hunted me within an inch of my life. They would’ve killed him had they found us together.”

“If you loved him, why go to Dominion and
beg them to kill you?” he asks
me.

“
I didn’t beg them to kill me.
I presented it as an option and
I did it to save him!
I had given up hope that they would spare my life, but I thought that maybe they would spare Reed and Zee if
I
went to them an
d turned myself in,” I explain
.

“And you didn’t know then that your death would’ve killed everything insi
de of him?” he asks
me with narrowing eyes.

A sad smile twists my lips when I reply
, “You know, you
’re the one who
made sure that I was raised like a human, and then you’re surprised when I think like one. I hadn’t invested much thought into how he’d survive
eternity
without me
;
I
just hoped that he would
.”

“I was surprised to hear that
you disregarded all the sacrifices he made for you
to keep you alive,” Tau replies
.

“
That’s the perspective of an
angel,” I respond
. “
Maybe you can understand this:
I will fight for
him with all that I am. I won’t
let him go—
I can’t.”

Tau’s brow darkens again as he stares
at me and I can tell he’s worried about something because my brow does the same thing.

“What?” I ask
.

“I was just thinking
that you may not get a choice in that
,” he replies
.
“Xa
vier will challenge Reed
—
”

“Challenge him?
Challenge him for what?” I ask
.

“For you,” Tau replies
.

“
No
,
he won’t,
” I say
, setting my fork down because I can no longer eat. “I can’t let that happen.”

“How will you stop it?” he asks
.
“It’s b
etween them
.”

“We’ll leave,” I reply
succinctly.

“Without us?
” Tau asks
, setting his fork down as well and leaning back in his chair.

“It’s been a little slice of
heaven being with you,” I say
with a little sarcasm
, “but I can protect myself now—
a
nd what’s mine,” I reply
, placing my napkin on the table.

“Y
ou propose to
leave? Just like that?” he asks
, and I’m getting the feeling that he thinks I’m very naïve.

“I was proposing to leave after we
deal with Brennus,” I correct him
. “I’
m aware that there’s a mission here. When it’s over
, the
re won’t be any reason to stay
together.”

“Can’t you think of at least
one other reason?” he asks
me, sounding irritated.

Looking up at the ceiling for a second,
I shrug
when our eyes me
e
t again, “Well, there’s the fact that you’re my dad, but I’m nineteen
now
—
time for me to leave the nest anyway.”

“And the fact that I’m your superior has
no weight with you?” he inquires
.

“Wa
it
a minute
, you mean like rank?” I ask
and roll
my eyes.

“That is ex
actly what I mean,” he responds
coolly.

“I d
on’t respond to rank,” I reply
.

“W
hat do you respond to?” he asks
me. “Is it force?”

My eyebrows co
me together slowly in a frown
. “What are you saying?” I ask
him.

Tau lean
s forward and places
his
hands flat on the table. It takes
an extreme
effort not to lean away from his aggressive posture and break eye contact with him.

He studies
me for a moment
before
he says
, “I’m saying that if you plan on leaving without my permission, you had best hit the ground running and never stop because I will find you and then you will answer to me.”

“You would mak
e me hide from you?” I ask
.

“You would mak
e me hunt for you?” he counters
.

“You do realize that I’m no longer the l
ittle girl that you left behind?
” I
murmur
s
oftly, almost menacingly.

I lean
clos
er to him, mimicking his posture while
pulling energy to me. I allow
it
to
leak from my
fingertips and spread slowly over the table, covering everything
on his side
with a crystallizing
frost
. He does
n’t even glance at his frozen water gla
ss or
look away fro
m my face when his wings storm
out of his back, destroying
the chair behind him as he stands
.

“Should you try magic on me, you had be
st kill me, because if you don’
t, I will m
ake you pay for it,” Tau says
with equal menace in his tone.

“I don’t want to kill you—
I
just
want autonomy,” I reply
, standing
too
and
feeling myself pale. He’s way better at this than me. I feel like a child trying to negotiate a later bedtime.

“Ther
e is no autonomy. Y
ou don’t exist for your own amuseme
nt,” he says
.

“I don’t exist for you
r amusement either,” I counter
.

Pointing at me from across the table
,
he says
,
“
You’re an angel
—
that makes you subject to our laws
and r
ight now, I find nothing
amusing about you.”

I cross
my arms.
“Does this mean I
’ve out
grown
the adorable stage?” I ask
with a hint of derision.
“You forget that I’m also human.”

“
How can I forget that when you’
re so much
like your mother?” he ask
s
me
, and his wings lower
perceptibly
.

“My mother…” I trail
off, feeling the grim line of my mouth relax a little.

“Would have
been better at this,” he replies
, gesturing to the table and indicating dinner.

“She c
ouldn’t have been worse,” I say
under my breath, but bit
e my lip when I see
him frown. “You did smash your chair,” I p
oint
out
, gesturing behind him to the lumber on the floor
.

“You are dif
ficult to fathom, Evie,” he says
with a frustrated sigh. “There are so many facets to you and all of them are dichotomies.
“You’re naïve yet
wise
, independent with a dependence,
guilelessly sophisticated, obstinately compliant…”

“I get it: I’m flawed,” I say
,
h
olding up my hand to stop him
as my
spine straighten
s
.

“You’
re perfectly flawed—that is what is
so endearing about you,” he explains
softly. “You’re very much like your mother.”

“
An
d you’re insultingly flattering,
so it would se
em I’m more like you,” I reply
, while rubbing my
aching
f
orehead
. 

“
Maybe so…
we’re both very strong-willed
,” he replies
.

“So
,
what
now?” I ask, before adding, “A
nd don’t sa
y dessert because I’m not
hungry.”

“Are you asking me what
my plans are for you?” he asks, and I nod
. “I plan to train you.”

“I
know how to fight,” I counter
.

“You know some techniqu
es, but true strategy?” he shakes
his head. “I also plan to teach you about your position here
as well as in
Paradise
.
You
need help with language acquisition
, protocol,
negotiation,
angelic cognition…”