Inconvenient Relations (29 page)

“So you are the reason for the sorrow in Ruhi’s eyes? How dare you do this to her!”

Shaan’s head drooped with guilt. “I was an unfeeling bastard. I took advantage of the situation and of her…I was a coward, Sooj! But what could I do? I fell in love and couldn’t let her go. Then our relationship took a positive turn, and just when I thought we had resolved our differences, that woman…”

Sooj saw Shaan was genuinely repentant and that he was seriously hurting. “What will you do now? How will you persuade her to see your way?”

Shaan had been grappling with the same dilemma. “I’ll have to go to her myself.”

“But, Shaan! How can you? Your job—”

“Do you think I could do a decent day’s work in this state, Sooj?” His friend questioned him in anguish. “I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, I can’t think of anything but her, and I definitely can’t let her go without trying.”

“But…” Sujoy didn’t complete the sentence; he could see the spark in his friend’s eyes. “Tell me if I can be of any help.”

Shaan smiled. “Can you drop me off at the airport?”

***

At the Sharma Villa, located near Sukhna Lake in a well to do northern suburb of Chandigarh, India.

Ruhi rushed to hug her father, noting some abatement in her anxieties when she found him none the worse for wear.

“Beti dhyaan se!”
(Careful, daughter!) “You remembered me after so long? Does our son-in-law keep you that occupied?” Amrit Sharma teased, embracing his daughter right back. He had missed seeing her bright and beautiful face. Yet he was happy she had made a good match.

“Oh you too,
Papaji
!
Aap kabhi nahin sudharenge!
” (You will never change for the better!) Ruhi laughed through her tears.

But Devyani wasn’t convinced.

Shocked at the distraught state she had found her daughter in when she met her at the arrival gate in the airport, she concluded all was not well with the newlyweds, but her attempts to probe further into their predicament were stonewalled.

“
Damaadji
, did he not accompany you?”

“He is busy,” Ruhi had replied briefly, eyes fixed on her gayly embroidered Jaipuri shoes.

“Our darling
beti
didn’t even bother to bid good-bye before departing,” her mother chimed in. “The poor boy called me fraught with worry.”

Amrit turned to look sharply at Ruhi; her impulsive streak was still going strong. “What is this I’m hearing? You left without taking his permission? This wasn’t an emergency and even if it was—”

“I’m sorry. I know I was wrong!” she retorted before racing up the stairs to her room, leaving her parents staring after her, their faces replete with concern.

She fell headlong on the lavender-scented sheets of her bed and broke down, copious tears soaking into her favorite pillow. Later when the floods receded, she took some moments to contemplate her surroundings, letting her gaze sweep over the brightly lit space she had called her own ever since a wee child. Her mother had impeccably maintained the room even after her daughter had gotten married and left.

The walls wearing a fresh coat of paint chronicled her growth over the past twenty-two years, the classic yet sturdy furniture bore telltale signs of love and abuse she had heaped on them during her good and bad days and the fine lacy curtains on the windows and around the bed frame her mother had painstakingly embroidered and presented to her on her twenty-first birthday, “For the most precious gift of my life.”

Her fingers reached to caress the satiny petals of a mauve rose.

“How can I be so uncaring,” she exclaimed suddenly, sitting upright. “How can I inflict pain on those who have offered me nothing but love? And Shaan…” She hugged her precious old teddy Chocolate to her bosom. “What impression would he have of me? Ruhi Sharma, the girl who flees at the first inkling of trouble, a weakling, immature and irresponsible.”

She laughed aloud. “I should be awarded the turncoat price!

No deserter better than me!” Then she quickly sobered up. “But what if he chooses to give up on me? He has probably reached the limit of his endurance.”

“No, I can’t let that happen! I cannot imagine a life without him…worse if he gets married to someone else!” She cringed at the vision of him going around the sacred flames with another girl in tow.

“I need to go back! This is my last impulse. God, please forgive me!” she implored to the heavens before running back downstairs.

***

Shaan gently patted the prayer book safely ensconced in his shirt pocket and smiled. It felt good to hold a piece of her close to his heart.

He was perched in the business class of Singapore Airlines Airbus, one he had procured at great cost as all other seats and flights were flying full because that damn Eyjafjallajökull has decided to wake up from the dead once again and give the whole world a solid shake!

But no bloody volcano can keep me away from my Ruhi!
He removed her picture from his wallet and tenderly kissed her face. “Girl, you haven’t seen the last of me yet.”

Affections

“M
ein ab bhi aapki laadli hoon na mama?”
(Am I still your precious child, Mama?)

“Yeh kaisa sawaal hai, Ruhi?”
(What sort of question is that?) “Of course you are!”

Beautiful and elegant Devyani Sharma who took pride in her cool and calm demeanor looked unusually ruffled today. The cause of her distress was standing in front of her, her daughter, her only child, the one she had reared with such loving and tender care. Beholding her now in the guise of a young married woman was a very tough proposal and brought wistful tears to her eyes.

A quick glance at her face was all she needed to discern that her child was languishing under some major distress, which she wasn’t willing to share with her mother.

Yes, my daughter is all grown up. She ceases to remain the little girl who wouldn’t rest without sharing every aspect her life with me
, Devyani mused, her mind fondly harking back to those days when Ruhi would seek her out and narrate with pride the details of all the escapades she had been involved in, either alone or with her friends, and frequently in the role of key accomplice.

Her daughter had never balked from a dare nor had she demurred from confrontation sometimes to the extent of recklessness, like when she had taken on the lad Satish for eyeing her in a certain way. The incident hadn’t been easy to deal with. The boy’s parents had threatened to press charges but had grudgingly abstained when Ruhi’s father had agreed to foot the entire hospital bill. After all, who in their right minds would want word to spread that their son had got beat up by a slip of a girl?

Devyani sighed. It had seemed quite amusing at the time but perhaps Ruhi had been indulged in a little too much, making way for her current nonsensical act!

I have to get to the bottom of this! My daughter’s entire future is at stake!

“If you aren’t my most prized treasure, why would I prepare your preferred
Rajma chawal? Bolo!
” (Tell me!)

“Oh, Mama!” Devyani nearly fell backward when her daughter crumpled on her knees and buried her face in her sari, besieged by a flood of uncontrollable tears. She wasn’t surprised at the sudden outburst and had been expecting something along those lines. She stroked Ruhi’s smooth head and let her be; she needed it.

“Ho gaya?”
(Done?) she inquired gently when the storm appeared to blow over and cleaned her only child’s face with the edge of her sari. “Now tell me.”

Words came out haltingly, “I missed you and Daddy so much!”

“I know, I know… We missed you a lot, too! But you are covering up something…and what is this!” Mother stared aghast at her daughter’s bare neck partially screened from view by her shirt collar. “Where is your
mangal sutra
and
sindoor
? What is going on, Ruhi?”

“Oh this?” Ruhi scurried to shield her neck while running agitated fingers through her silky hair. “I… I had to remove the chain at the security lines and forgot to put it back on again. As for the
sindoor
, umm…”

“This is unacceptable. You have become extremely careless. Look at me!” Devyani held up her own string of black beads. “I don’t remember ever taking it off. If your Delhi wali aunt or anybody else gets a whiff of this…God help us!”

Her daughter appeared chastised. “I won’t forget from now on. I assure you, Ma!”

My son-in-law has let this stupid girl run wild. I need to have a word with him, too!

“All right…” Devyani said after taking a few seconds to simmer down. “Even if I swallow the explanation, which I don’t, what about you not informing Shaan before embarking on this long trip? That poor fellow, do you know how anxious he sounded on the phone? Is everything fine between you two? Has he been—”

“No, Mama,” Ruhi amended with conviction. “Shaan is the nicest man…husband any woman could expect to have. It’s just that when I heard your voice and those phone calls…” She chewed on her lower lip. “I didn’t pause to think. I just did what came first to my mind. He’s not to blame at all!”

Devyani understood she was telling her the truth though not all of it. “And…”

“Don’t ask anymore, Mama, please? I…I have committed a horrible mistake, and I wish to correct it ASAP!”

Devyani apprehended the urgency in Ruhi’s voice. “Why don’t you call him now and apologize?”

So he may ignore me?
Ruhi thought. “No, I have to return right away. Do you think Dad will buy me a ticket? Mine was only one way,” she cajoled.

“
Beta
, you’ve just arrived.”

“But I need to go back and tell him I love him before it’s too late!”

“Ruhi!”

Her daughter’s face turned crimson.

Children can be so outspoken nowadays,
Devyani inferred. But the passionate statement had eased her mind. Everything was going to be fine!

“I shall see what I can do,” she said, pulling her daughter’s head to her chest.

***

It was the weirdest sensation. She felt like a stranger in her own house. Everything seemed so new and different.

Ruhi lay wide awake at 1:00 a.m. in her cozy canopy bed staring at the powder-blue ceiling. It looked plain, dowdy, and uninteresting unlike…unlike another beneath which she had lain imprisoned under the sturdy limbs of her husband.

She sensed her pulse skip several beats as the scene played back in her mind.

Under that psychedelic blanket of stars, she remembered acutely his alcohol-tainted breath as he had put her in a compromising position. She had found him irresistible, queer feelings had risen from the pits of her stomach, yet somehow she’d managed to distract him from his intentions. Perhaps he’d let her have her way being what he was and ever had been a consummate gentleman.

She had been playing games, fooling herself into believing she was in control of her life while in fact nothing could have been further from the truth. Because unawares she had been falling deeper and deeper in love with the man she so wished to hate.

What’d have happened if he had made love to me then? There wouldn’t have been any of this…this craziness!

“Oh, God, forgive me for what I’ve done! But please don’t penalize me. Don’t take him away. I won’t be able to bear it! It’ll be fine if we can go back to living the way we had been, like make-believe friends though it will hurt a lot, but just to be able to see his dear face every day would suffice…I hope.”

Kissing the bear pendent she thought more precious than anything else she possessed, with hope still alive in her breast, she fell asleep and dreamt of when she had met her perfect stranger.

***

“Ruhi, you have to dance on the very song I danced on at your
Sangeet
.”

“Oh no, not that one!” Ruhi said.

“Why not? I know it’s one of your favorites. Besides,
jiju
isn’t here either so why feel shy?”

“Please!”

“I insist or you aren’t my best friend!”

Ruhi’s father had agreed to purchase her tickets on condition she stayed for a few more days. And though she had been least eager, she had accepted on her mother’s advice— “It’ll help take your mind off Shaan.” —an invitation to attend her best friend, Radhika’s wedding. She was the same girl Shaan had helped convince that getting married was the best thing one could do in life.

But Devyani’s prediction had gone awry, for everything at the wedding reminded Ruhi of him—the crowds, the music, the organized pandemonium…everything.

“Mere haathon mein nau nau choodiyaan hain…”
(There are nine bangles on my hands…)

“Ruhi! Look, she is shying away.” (Loud laughter.) “It doesn’t look like this girl is married!”

I can’t handle this anymore. I have to get out of here. I better take it up with Dad myself!
Ruhi left the wedding hall and ran out on to the busy street, her mind a jungle of confused activity.

With her heavily embroidered skirt hitched up in one hand, she waved down a taxi. “Bhai sahib, sector 7,
chaloge kya
?” (Sir, will you journey to sector 7?)

“LA
chaloge kya
?” (Will you journey to LA?)

She whirled around and stared stupefied at someone who had materialized like a phantom, a figment of her overwrought imagination.

Standing there before her, a large backpack slung over his right shoulder, sporting an arcane expression on his handsome face, was her husband of a little more than two months.

“Aap?”
(You?)

“Yes it’s me, Ruhi,” Shaan said.

Yes, it was him, that low smooth baritone couldn’t belong to anyone else. She blinked as her vision clouded over with saline mist, her most faithful companion in recent times.

Here was the man who had been responsible for bringing endless pain into her life…the good-looking stranger she had met for the first time on the day of their engagement when those piercing brown eyes had assessed her with one sharp glance and looked away. He was the same man who had shattered her heart into several tiny pieces but then had tenderly glued it all back together. There was no doubt she was crazy about him.

All her instincts screamed for her to run into his arms, but her feet wouldn’t cooperate. She gazed at him plaintively, deprived of intelligent speech.

Shaan didn’t know what to think; the relief he was feeling right now was indescribable.

Finding her in this fashion, in the midst of a tediously drab and busy mundane street of the city he had spent most of his earlier life in, he felt as though he was in the presence of some divine creature. In the simply elegant traditional garb, which appeared to weigh down her petite frame, her beauty was enhanced beyond compare…like a lotus that bloomed in a murky pond.

He couldn’t comprehend how in the world it had ever occurred to him to hurt this beautiful girl’s feelings. How blindly cruel had he been to break her tender loving heart? Even if he had been thrown to the gallows for his deeds, the punishment would have failed to match the crime.

The perception of her infinitely dear face mellowed his troubled psyche; he closed his eyes in silent prayer.
Thank you, God. Hope I don’t screw up this time!

“
Ki gal hai
, Chulbul Pandey ji?” (What’s the matter Chulbul Pandey sir?) “Do you want a ride or not?”

The taxi driver’s teasing remark interrupted the disconcerted couple’s trance. The unfortunate man was then subject to a severe glare from Shaan while the pretty girl next to him colored deeply.

“
Chaliye.
Let’s go to sector 7.”

***

“Jeete raho beta, sada khush raho!”
(May you live long, son. Be happy always.) “Looks like you found Ruhi after all.” Devyani reached up to caress her son-in-law’s cheek as he gave her a tired smile.

“How are you,
Mummiji
? And
Papaji
… I hope he’s fine.”

He has changed most definitely
, she thought. She had found him to be indifferent and somewhat of an impatient young man when he had accepted her daughter’s hand in marriage not so long ago. Distracted…his mind adrift on stormy seas, he had gone through the motions like an automaton displaying the least amount of enthusiasm. She was quite disturbed but had kept her worries to herself, hoping it was nothing but a misconception of a concerned mother…and she was glad she’d done so. Her daughter was happy with him and so apparently was he.

She watched fondly as they stole furtive glances at each other. They were not talking much she figured, but the affection between them was unmistakable.

Her shoulders felt much lighter.
I have absolutely nothing to worry about. I only hope it doesn’t take them long to realize their love for each other.

“Ruhi?” Devyani said.

Her daughter’s kohl-lined eyes looked startled. “Yes, Mama?”

“
Damaadji
looks worn out. Let him rest a little before dinner. Take him to your room. I’ll have Ramu bring the rest of his things up. Is that all right with you,
beta?”

Shaan glanced inquiringly in Ruhi’s direction before nodding briskly. “Of course it is fine.”

As he followed her up the spiral staircase, he let his gaze drift; he had been here before but had not bothered to absorb the details. The entire dwelling, or whatever he could see of it, exuded a sense of nourishing comfort and peace, like a real home should. Unlike his own. He could see his beautiful mother-in- law’s (whose looks his wife had inherited) touch everywhere—in the walls draped in warm earthy shades, to the classic yet practical furniture, and the myriad variety of plants in terracota pots, which practically filled every empty spot.

“You can see that she loves the color green,” his beloved remarked with a knowing smile.

He agreed. “Perhaps you could dabble with the same when you come back home?” He looked eagerly at her and believed he saw her smile.

***

So this is her.

It fits her to a T
, Shaan thought as he ambled around Ruhi’s room. It was odd, but he had never imagined her as a pink Barbie doll. Blue and brown suited her personality much better.