Incubus (25 page)

“Dad?”

“Angela died fighting for a worthwhile cause,” he said softly. “That’s more than most people can

say. The best way to honor her—to honor any of our fallen—is to carry on the fight.”

I let him draw me back into another hug, but the room seemed to spin around me. He didn’t have

to say it for me to know.

Dad believed this war would kill him.

Chapter 11

The day dawned bright and clear. Sunlight betrayed the grief that filled our house, reminding us that

the world outside marched on cheerfully, untouched by our suffering.

I found Seth sitting on the living room couch, wrapped in the blanket from the guest bed. Dark

bags circled his eyes, which were swollen from crying. The exhaustion of the night had finally caught

him in its clutches. Seth sat still, numb.

He didn’t look up when I entered. Something sizzled in the kitchen, and a moment later I caught

the faint whiff of butter and eggs. Instead of joining Dad while he made breakfast, I sat on the couch

next to Seth.

There was nothing to say. Nothing that would make this easier for him. But I could sit here and

offer whatever comfort my company might bring him.

“I can’t believe she’s gone,” Seth said. He didn’t move, didn’t look at me. But the words unleashed

another flood of grief. Seth tipped his head forward, fighting to contain the raw emotion coursing

through his body. Tentatively, I reached out and clasped his hand.

Seth threaded his fingers around mine in response. His hand was warm and strong. His shoulders

shook. I couldn’t just sit there, watching. I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around him. I held

him helplessly, knowing nothing I could do would change the fact that his mom wasn’t coming back.

He straightened, turning to face me. The look he gave me was so piercing, so intimate, that I froze.

Being this close to him, feeling his warmth, seeing his vulnerability—something stirred within me.

The Lilitu storm.

Seth’s eyes tracked me, waiting. I found myself staring at him, noticing really for the first time the

powerful lines of his jaw, the perfect symmetry of his face. The storm within me gathered strength,

and I found myself wondering what it would feel like to kiss him.

“Braedyn,” Seth started. He brushed the fingers of his free hand along my arm. I jerked back,

breathless.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. Guilt tore through me. Seth was in unimaginable pain—but I couldn’t be

what he needed. Not the way he needed. “I—I should call Lucas.”

“Lucas.” Bitterness edged into Seth’s voice. “Lucas tried to kill you when he found out what you

were.”

I stared, stung. “How did you—?”

“But when I found out—” Seth struggled to keep his voice steady. His blue eyes held mine, full of

conviction. “I knew you were still you.”

“I—I know, Seth.” I studied my hands.

“He doesn’t appreciate you. Not the way I could. Not the way I do.”

“Things with Lucas—they’re complicated.” I met Seth’s eyes, trying to make him understand.

“But what we have—”

Seth stood, turning away. But I saw the expression of pain that crossed his face. “Okay. I get it.”

“I’m sorry. If things were different—”

“I’ve got bigger problems right now,” Seth snapped. But then he glanced at me, vulnerable and

scared. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to—” He swallowed. “That came out wrong.”

“It’s okay.” I stood, folding my arms around myself. “No offense taken.”

“I just can’t get it out of my mind that Mom was killed for something she found out.” He turned to

me, pleading for understanding. “I have to know what it was.”

“It won’t change anything,” I said softly.

“If she died discovering something important?” Seth’s eyes shone with tears.

“She wouldn’t want you to put yourself in danger.”

“You didn’t know my mom.” Seth’s hands balled into fists. “If she found something important,

she wouldn’t want it to be lost just because she died.”

“You can’t know what—” I started. But he glanced at me with such pain I stopped.

“Please,” he whispered. “Please help me.”

I opened my mouth to argue, but instead I sighed. “How?”

Seth’s eyes lit with hope. “All her research should be at home. Maybe, if we could just sit down

with it for a few hours.”

“Breakfast is ready, kids.” Dad entered from the foyer. He looked surprised when he saw me.

“You’re dressed for school? I thought you’d want to stay home.” His eyes drifted toward Seth, sitting

on the couch next to me.

“Oh.” I glanced at Seth, feeling like an idiot. “I’m so sorry. Of course. If you want me to stay

home with you—”

“No,” Seth said. “You go. I’d rather be alone right now.”

Dad didn’t look happy about this. “You’re sure about that?”

“I’m sure.” Seth rubbed at his eyes, as though he were on the verge of tears again. Dad looked

away, giving Seth his privacy.

“Okay. But if you need anything, you call one of us, deal?”

“Yeah, okay.”

When Dad vanished back into the kitchen I turned to Seth.

“It has to be today,” Seth whispered. “Please. Sneak out after first period and come get me.” When

I didn’t respond right away, he grabbed my arm. “Braedyn, I’m begging you. Help me.”

“Okay.”

“Thank you.” Seth let out a long breath, then stood and headed into the kitchen. I followed him,

and we sat at the kitchen island. Dad had laid out two plates of eggs, toast, and bacon. My stomach

growled as soon as I saw the food, but Seth only stared at his plate.

Dad noticed, and put a hand on Seth’s shoulder. “You’ll always have a place with the Guard,” he

said. “Don’t forget that.”

Seth nodded.

Dad pulled me aside. “Be there for Seth today?”

I nodded. If Dad sensed my unease, he must have chalked it up to the events of the previous night.

If he’d known what we planned, he’d never have let us out of his sight.

Lucas was waiting by my car when I emerged into the bright morning. He straightened when he saw

me, shifting his weight uncomfortably.

“Hey,” he offered.

“Hey.”

“I didn’t know if you guys were going to school today or not.”

“Seth wants to be alone, and as for me,” I said, glancing at the house behind us, “I need a change

of scenery.”

“Yeah. Right.” Lucas’s eyes fell to the dark stain on my front porch. I knew he was reliving the

last 24 hours in his mind. “I think we both do.”

I unlocked the car. Lucas opened the front passenger door, but didn’t get in right away.

“How’s he doing?” Lucas asked me.

“About how you probably expect. His mother’s dead. He’s sad. And angry.”

Lucas nodded. “I wish I didn’t know how that felt—but I get it.” I wanted to reach out and touch

him, but I stopped myself. I could see his thoughts turning inward, back to the night of Eric’s death.

“He wants to know why she died.”

“Yeah.”

“He wants,” I glanced back at my house before continuing, “he wants to go back to his house. To

see what he can find in Angela’s research.”

Lucas shook his head. “He’s upset. He’s not thinking clearly.”

“But—” I took a deep breath. “What if there is something there?”

“Hale would never let him go back there,” Lucas said. “It’d be so stupid. If the incubus did kill

Angela for her research, Seth would just be painting a target on his back.”

I closed my mouth, suddenly unsure if telling Lucas what we’d planned was a good idea.

“Let’s get to school. A dose of normal life will do us all some good.”

I forced a smile. Lucas gave me one last look before sliding into my car and closing his door. As I

walked around to the driver’s side, I knew Seth and I would be making this run solo.

Hiding my plans from Lucas was too easy. He walked me to class, and we hovered at the door until a

minute before first bell. He stood so close to me I could feel the warmth emanating from his skin.

“Last night, when I heard you scream,” Lucas said quietly. “You have no idea. It was like my

world stopped spinning.” He brushed the backs of his fingers across my cheek.

I lowered my lashes, savoring the touch. “Lucas.” My breath came out in a husky whisper.

“It’s you,” he whispered. “What I want. What I’m fighting for. Whenever I lose the faith, all it

takes to inspire me again is you.”

I drank in the sight of him. Lucas’s eyes gleamed faintly green in the light of the hall. In them, I

could see the depth of his trust. This. If I could only explain this to Seth, he’d understand. Lucas knew

my secrets, knew the danger I posed, and he loved me anyway. He saw in me the person I chose to be,

and he knew what that choice cost me. That’s what Seth didn’t get. Lucas did embrace all of me—the

good and the bad. Where Seth saw something cool, Lucas understood the consequences of the power I

wielded.

Lucas withdrew his hand, and it felt like he’d taken a piece of me with him. “Until lunch,” he said.

“Lucas.” I grabbed his hand, keeping him from leaving. I almost confessed the whole plot to him

right there. But some part of me was just as desperate for the truth as Seth. Lucas looked into my eyes.

“We’re going to get through this,” he said, misinterpreting the pain he saw. He leaned closer, until

his lips almost brushed against my ear. “And everything’s going to be worth the wait.”

I melted into him, risking another caress. I felt him breathe in sharply. His eyes locked with mine,

and I forced myself away from him, battling the desire to simply give in, to lose myself in his kiss.

Instead, I pressed my palms flat against the wall at my back. After a moment, my heartbeat slowed

and I got my breathing under control. I saw Lucas struggling to do the same. “Promise me.” I

whispered. I needed to believe.

“I promise, Braedyn.”

I forced a wry smile. “Then you’d better go.”

Lucas gave me a smile that promised everything. He turned and vanished down the hall.

The bell rang, snapping my thoughts back to the mission at hand. I pushed myself off the wall and

slipped out of the building.

I had to move quickly. If I got caught sneaking off campus, Fiedler would call my dad and this

whole covert op would be over before it began. I made it to my car and pulled out of the parking lot

without spotting another soul on campus.

Seth was waiting on the porch when I pulled up to my house. His face eased when he saw me and I

realized he’d started to worry that I wasn’t coming back for him.

“Get in,” I said, glancing at the Guard’s house.

“They’re not in there,” Seth said. “They got called away about 10 minutes ago.”

“Finally we catch a break,” I said, pulling back onto the road.

The drive to Seth’s house was quiet. Seth drummed his fingers impatiently on the window, lost in

his thoughts. Fine with me. I had my own thoughts to wade through.

I pulled up to Seth’s house. “No,” he said. “Keep driving. We shouldn’t park here, in case—the”

He glanced at me, leaving the fear unvoiced.

“Right.”

I pulled around the corner of the next block and parked under a bare tree, dark as a charcoal sketch

against the bright November sky.

“We can go in the back way,” Seth said.

I followed him down the street. He slipped between two houses, and I saw a small drainage ditch

traveling the length of the block, creating a small alleyway between the rows of houses. Seth sprinted

down the ditch and I had to race to catch up. We stopped beside a cinderblock wall halfway down the