Indigo (9 page)

“She deserved it.” Kennedy’s eyes look black as he stares down at me. I return his gaze, a little surprised at the venom in his tone. “She was jealous.”

Jealous of what? I don’t say the words out loud, but from the way he’s staring at me, I can’t help but wonder if he heard the thought.

Shawn throws an arm around Sabrina’s shoulder and agrees with Kennedy. I sense he’s sincere, but I also sense that he still has a little trouble looking me in the eye.

“Let’s just drop it.” After I make the comment, everyone reluctantly agrees. I’m relieved, but it also makes me feel a little like an outcast. I put on the mask that I always wear, the one that says I’m over it, and have already forgotten the insult.

“Anyone just want to walk home? That line for the taxi is brutal.” Shawn suggests in the silence.

There are about 30 students waiting in line and I know we’ll have to wait over an hour for a ride. I go a little pale at the thought of walking back in heels.

“I can’t travel that far in these shoes.” Sabrina says incredulously. “Campus is like half an hour away if we walk.”

“I can’t either,” I agree. My feet are already hurting from all the dancing.

Shawn leers and before she can protest, he grabs Sabrina into his arms and starts carrying her down the street. I hear her shriek with laughter. “There’s no way you can carry me the entire way!”

“Is that a challenge?” Shawn turns back around with Sabrina in his arms. “You guys coming?”

Kennedy turns to me and looks as if he has something to say, but I hold up my hand to stop him, not knowing if I can handle him carrying me back to campus. “You don’t have to carry me, I can try to walk it.”

His eyebrows pull together in a smirk. “Don’t tell me you think it’s because you’re too heavy.”

“No…I” My words fail me. How do I tell him being physically close to someone makes my stomach feel like a led ball? He already saw a glimpse of it on the dance floor. Not to mention I’m still reeling from embarrassment from the girl’s comment about my scar and really just want to be hide.

“How about a piggy back ride?” As if to emphasize his point, he turns his back to me and looks at me over his shoulder. “C’mon, don’t deny me that privilege.”

I hesitate, but the fact that we won’t be face to face makes me breathe a bit easier. That’s innocent enough. And I really don’t want to walk the near two miles in my heels. I hear myself sigh, why not? “Alright.”

KENNEDY

I try and empty my mind of any and all dirty thoughts when I feel Indigo’s hands sliding up my back to lock around my neck. Bending my knees, I reach behind me to grab onto her legs and hoist her up onto my back. Hooking both elbows around the bend of her knees, I clasp my hands together around my midsection and start walking.

It feels like she weighs no more than my backpack, which doesn’t surprise me, but she’s got her legs locked in a death grip around my waist, and I
am
surprised at how much muscle tone she has. “You doing okay back there?”

Her leaden breaths against my neck make the hairs stand on end, but hopefully she’s too modest enough to notice.

“Yes, I’m fine, thank you,” she answers politely.

I think back to that girl at the bar, and how if it had been a guy, I probably would have smashed my fist into his stupid face. Thinking of her dealing with that on a daily basis, makes me feel a little violent. I carry her along, happy that she agreed to the ride. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out the girl doesn’t like to be touched, and I can’t help but consider this my first small victory, especially after my attempt of the dance floor didn’t go as planned.

“You smell good,” she suddenly blurts out.

“Thank you,” I chuckle. “It’s not cologne, it’s just my natural scent.”

She laughs but then says, “I must be a little bit drunk.” I know she says this as an explanation to her out of nowhere compliment, and it makes me smile.

“Not me,” I say truthfully. “You’re totally safe up there.”

She loosens her grip a little at my words and sighs loudly, her breath heating my skin. It relaxes me too, and I admit to myself that I had a good time tonight, all things considered.  I still know jack shit about her, but maybe after tonight, she’ll be interested in hanging out with me again. The thought is a little jarring, because I normally don’t make any effort to hang out with any girl, but I find I really don’t care at the moment. I want to be in her company, and that’s that.

“Did you have a good time tonight,” I ask her hopefully.

“I did. Thank you for getting out there with me. You’re a better dancer than I thought.”

I pretend to be offended, “Are you saying I look like I’ve got no moves?”

Just like I hope, she laughs again. I want to get that girl at the bar far out of her mind. “No, no, I didn’t mean that. I more meant that I was surprised at how in sync we were. As a dancer, I can tell when my body has chemistry with someone else’s.”

Even though she was trying to be clinical, all the dirty thoughts I had been working to keep at bay rush back in. I feel her body pressed against mine, the strength of her thighs around my waist, her long hair tickling my neck. I swallow audibly and wonder if she felt it underneath where her hands are locked around my throat. “I was really impressed with you, too.”

“Thank you,” she accepts the compliment without another word. I have a feeling it’s the only subject she would genuinely accept one on. “Dancing is my favorite thing in the world.”

I jump at the chance. “What are some of your other favorite things?”

She goes still. “You really want to know?”

“I really want to know.”

“Okay.” She’s quiet for a moment behind me as she contemplates her answer. “Well, like my favorite what?”

“How about your favorite food?”

“Hmm, carbs. Potatoes, cheese, pasta, you name it, I want it at every meal.”

I store that information away for later. And then, in the space of a couple miles, I learn that she loves western movies, and hates electronic music. That she collects old keys, reads about two books a week, and has a “weird” fascination with jungle cats. That her dream job was to move to Florida and become a Disney Princess but that she was too short to even audition. And that a lot of her clothes come from the kids section, but she doesn’t care because it saves money.

As we’ve been walking, and she’s been talking, she’s let down her guard enough to rest her chin against my shoulder. After all the information I got about her while her body has been nestled against mine puts me in a really fucking good mood.

“What about you?” she asks then, her voice near my ear.

“Next time,” I tell her softly, spotting Shawn less than a block away at the campus security entrance.

“That’s not fair,” she murmurs.

The September breeze is cooler than usual causing Indigo to shiver and huddle a little deeper against my back. A smile ghosts across my face, and I find I’m really disappointed that our time together is going to end.

“Are you awake back there,” Sabrina calls out, still draped over Shawn’s arms.

“Yes,” Indigo calls back. “Very comfortable actually.”

Her words make my heart pound, and I try not to grin like an idiot in front of Shawn.

Once we reach them, the four of us start making our way down the slight hill to the dorms.

“I’m so cold,” Indigo says, her breath warm on my neck. “I hope they’ve got the heat on at Dow.”

“Oh I almost forgot, I bought you a sweatshirt today at the school store.” I burst out this confession much more enthusiastically than I intended, and just as I feared, it gains all three of their attentions.

“You did?” Shawn asks incredulously, looking at me like I’m a loon.

“You did?” I can feel Indigo’s face observing my profile, her tone laced with confusion as she repeats his words.

Shit. Really wishing I had just given it to her in private, I shrug my shoulders as if it’s really no big deal. “Yeah. I already have a ton of sweatshirts, and there was a huge sale, so I felt I had to buy something.”

Shawn’s looking at me as if he has no idea who I am. Which doesn’t surprise me because that’s probably the dumbest thing I’ve ever said. But I still wish Sabrina wasn’t in his arms so I could shoot him a death glare. I settle for ignoring him completely.

“Thank you for… thinking of me,” Indigo says a little awkwardly, probably wondering why some guy she barely knows bought her a sweatshirt. Hell, I still don’t even know why I did it. But fuck it. I did and I want her to have it.

“We can pick it up in my car before going to Dow.”

Sabrina’s dorm comes up first, so she and Shawn say their goodbyes with Indigo still on my back.

“Shawn wait,” Indigo rushes out before Sabrina leaves, her legs once again locking me in a vice grip as if she’s nervous. “I have to ask and get this out of the way now. Do I make you uncomfortable?”

Surprised, Sabrina and I both turn to look at Shawn to see his response. My cousin looks as if he wishes the earth would open up and swallow him whole. “No, of course not. Why would you say that?” His eyes are darting every which way, and he directs the comment to the top of the trees. It’s obviously a lie, and then I remember him mentioning to me earlier that week that Indigo did in fact make him nervous. I glare at him, willing him to meet her eyes and stop making her feel bad.

Indigo sighs. “My uncle Henry couldn’t look at me for weeks when I got home. He thought that if his eyes even flickered onto my scar while he was talking to me, I would get upset. So he mostly avoided me, and couldn’t look me in the eye, like you’re doing now.”

Shawn’s face is beet red and he’s rubbing his hand absently over his chin. “I don’t…umm.”

Indigo wiggles her hips, letting me know she wants to get down. Reluctantly, I bend my knees, but don’t remove my hands until I hear her heels click on to the pavement. She walks around my back and stands a couple feet in front of me. She turns her cheek, and tucks her long black hair over her ear.

“He didn’t feel better until he caught me napping on the couch one day, and was able to look at closely with me not knowing. If it will help you feel better…then I don’t mind. Just don’t…ask me anything about it, please.”

The invitation is clear, and I can see that both Shawn and Sabrina are curious. I am too, and I can’t lie and say that the temptation of fully looking at her scar--more of her face--is something I can pass up.

I walk up from behind her to stand on her side, and I feel Sabrina and Shawn close in. We all peer down at her, and I wish I was comfortable enough to grab her hand, as this has to be hard for her. I do notice a slight tremble in her hands, but I know if I reached out to her now, it wouldn’t help.

Feeling lucky for the chance to gaze unabashedly at her, I let my eyes linger a few moments over her delicate features. The sweep of her small pert nose, the swell of her full pink bottom lip, and the soft curve of her jaw all capture my attention before I settle in on her scar.

It starts at the top of her ear, the jagged line running down in a twisted, uneven pattern, until it ends next to her bottom lip. The top part is a little puffy, but the part that runs along her cheek looks deep. Indented, painful, and discolored as if it wasn’t allowed to heal properly. Since I have an extensive knowledge of tools, I can tell right away this wasn’t done with something sharp, or in one clean slice. It looks as something was recklessly dragged through her skin. My next breath gets snagged in my chest, and for a few seconds I feel completely and utterly overwhelmed by the pain she must have went through. Then, I feel rage. I curb the instinct to grab her and demand she tell me the story behind this scar.

Sabrina and I lock eyes, and I can see hers are swimming with tears. She must also see something on my face, because she shakes her head at me, and I know she wants me to mask my expression. In the next second, her tears are gone.

“Okay, so that’s pretty gnarly,” Shawn says. I reach over to slap him upside his head but Sabrina beats me to it.

But to my surprise, Indigo just laughs and brings her face around to look at him. “Did it help?”

Shawn lets out a big breath and smiles at her, “Yes, I think so. Thank you.”

Behind Indigo’s back, I narrow my eyes at Shawn shake my head in disappointment for making her have to do this.

He makes a face back.
“What?”
He mouths silently.

“I don’t want to be treated like a doll,” she tells us, which hits me hard because I compared her to one earlier. “If you want to see it again, just let me know. It doesn’t bother me.”

I wonder how true that statement is. I notice the slight tremors still shaking her hand, and try to quell any more caveman like reactions.

Sabrina pulls Indigo into a hug, “No more towels okay? And thanks for letting me get ready at your place, I’ll come by tomorrow?”

Towels? I try and find some sort of explanation for that but come up empty, my curiosity piqued for the thousandth time around Indigo Olsen.

She turns to meet my gaze, and I wonder if she wants to get on my back again, but she ends up falling into step beside me. I shove my hands in my pocket, feeling bereft. Her arms come up to cross over her chest, and I veer her in the direction of my car to grab the sweatshirt.