Indulgence (126 page)

Between the curves and twists in his cock and the ridges
from the scars, I’m feeling things I’ve never felt before, things that are
exquisite and frightening at the same time. Control is a fleeting thing at this
moment, and I know when I come, what happens will be new and different. But I
want it and, more importantly, I want it with him. His breath is hot and sweet
in my ear as he whispers, “God, Kimmie, I’ve wanted you so much. You feel so
good. Oh, fuck, baby, you feel so damn good.” His thrusts are solid and then
turn almost vicious, and I love the power that comes roaring through with each
one. My heart’s on fire, my body’s in flames, and I don’t care if I
spontaneously combust, as long as I do it with this guy inside me. I’m meeting
his thrusts with my pelvis, rocking with him, learning his rhythm, melding
together as one, his body hard but his hands gentle as he grips my hips and
moves against me. Jaz completes my soul. I’ve waited all my life for this.

And the orgasm takes me completely by surprise. The room
explodes into colors behind my eyelids and I can’t catch my breath, just feel
the deep gnawing sensation as it powers through my body and shakes me to my
core. I hear him murmur, “Oh, Kimmie, you’re mine, girl. All mine,” and then he
grunts out his release, digging deeper into my hips with his fingers, seeking
deeper refuge and finding it at the very last minute.

I’ve had problems in the past with the weight of a man, that
claustrophobic feeling that it sends through me, but Jaz’s weight is
comforting. I wrap my arms around his waist and take a deep breath, pulling in
that scent of our sex and the spicy aroma of his cologne. After what seems like
forever, he rolls us to our sides and takes my face in his hands, and then he
kisses me. My mind makes every effort to record that kiss so I can replay it
later, remember what it was like to lie there with him in the darkening room,
the taste of those firm, soft lips, the brush of his scruff against my chin. I
breathe a soft little kiss onto his nose. “I love you, Jaz.”

He kisses me again, then returns the kiss on my nose and
says the words my heart is aching to hear. “I love you too, Kimmie. I’m not
afraid anymore.”

I feel the smile stretch slowly across my lips, and I want
to stare into those beautiful brown eyes forever. “Hold me while I sleep?”

“All night.” The lamp clicks off and we’re alone in the
dark, me and Jaz and this sweetness that’s captured our attention and changed
our hearts. “All night long,” he murmurs into my hair. “I’m never letting go.”

*****

The bed is a tangle of legs, arms, sheet, and blanket. And I
can’t find my pillow, which doesn’t matter, because I snuggle up to Jaz and
rest my head on his chest. I’m not sure he’s awake, but his hand comes up and
strokes my hair softly, so I’m guessing he’s in at least some form of
wakefulness. When his eyes finally open, I smile up at him and he smiles back.
“Good morning,” I manage to whisper.

He drops a feather-weight kiss on my forehead. “Yes, it is.
It really, really is. And good morning to you too, morning glory.”

“I suppose I should go, huh?”

He just shrugs. “Got somewhere you’ve got to be? It’s
Sunday, after all.”

I just shake my head. “Nah. Well, actually, yeah. There’s
this hot guy, and he’s great in the sack, and I want to see him and jump his
bones again.”

He snickers. “Is that right?”

“Yeah. That’s right. You might know him. Tall-ish, kind of .
. .”

“‘Tall-ish?’ Really? You just called me tall-ish?” He
doesn’t play incensed well.

“Yeah, you’re what, five eleven?”

“I’ll have you know that I’m six even.”

I snort out, “Oh, well then, sorry. My mistake, Jolly Green
Giant!” Next thing I know, he’s tickling me. “Hey! You should probably stop
that! I’ve gotta pee!”

He throws his hands back in mock surrender. “Noooo. Don’t
want any of that. Go get rid of it and come back. Geez, girl. I’m not into
that.”

“Me neither. Be right back.” I run to the bathroom and
almost don’t make it. I make a mental note: If I’m going to be here very often,
I need some baby wipes under the sink. And a toothbrush. Shit – I don’t have a
toothbrush here. I call out from the toilet, “Hey, do you by any chance have an
extra toothbrush?”

“Um, not unless I’ve got an extra one that the dentist gave
me at my last checkup. Check the drawer on the right-hand side of the vanity.”
I look. Nope. No extra toothbrush. “You know, you’ve had your tongue down my
throat countless times in the last however many hours. If you use mine, it
really won’t bother me.”

After staring at it for a few seconds, I just grab it, shoot
some toothpaste onto it, and start brushing. I can hear Jaz laughing out in the
bedroom. “What’s so funny?” I come strolling out of the bathroom, naked as a
jaybird, and he’s still laughing.

“You. Silly woman. Come here and sit down beside me.” He’s
propped up in the bed with the pillows – apparently he found mine – and he pats
the mattress beside him. I slide in and lean into him, and his arm wraps around
me. I feel protected and loved with that one simple action. “I’m glad you’re
here.”

“I’m glad I’m here too. With you.”

He smiles and kisses my forehead again. “I see you’re not
wearing your collar. I thought you wanted to wear it.”

“It kept getting hung on the neckline of my top yesterday,
so I took it off. But it’s in my purse.”

“That’s not good. If you want to wear it, I guess you need
something a bit nicer, huh?”

“You gave it to me. It’s plenty nice enough.” Our hands are
intertwined and lying on his thigh, and the sight makes my stomach do little
flip-flops of joy.

“Listen, last night was great.”

I nod. “Yes. It was.” I’m scared to death of what he’s going
to say next.

“I don’t want it to be the first and last time by any
means.”

Whew!
, my inner voice whispers. “Well, I should hope
not!” I declare, trying to sound jauntily offended, a big, dopey smile on my
face.

“Good. Kimmie, last night was just a man and a woman. Do you
really want some kind of D/s relationship?”

“Do you?”

“Answer the question, please.”

I huff. “Yes. I’d like that. It makes me feel . . .” I’m
fishing for the word.

“Secure?” he offers.

“That’s it. Secure.”

“Okay, then. I’d prefer it too. It makes me feel more
manly,” he says, using his best lumberjack voice.

“You don’t need any help in that department.”

“Oh, don’t think so?”

I shake my head with a huge grin on my face. “Nope. You’re
plenty manly enough.”

“And just how manly am I?” He’s looking at me out the corner
of his eye, and he sticks his hand down under the covers and starts to stroke
himself.

Whooooo-boy, I’m liking this. “Pretty damn manly. Want me to
show you how manly?”

He grins like a little kid. “Yes, please!”

“I think I can handle that.” I drag the covers back and,
yep, there it is, winking at me. Honest to god, I look at it and think how
lucky I am that I get to see it, that he trusts me that much. I manage to flip
myself over and between his legs, and I open wide and draw his semi-erectness
right in. I love his musky smell, and I’m thoroughly enjoying myself, listening
to him groan just a bit with each stroke.

And then I hear a voice say, “Hey, Daddy! What’s going . . .
OH MY GOD!”

There’s this scramble that I can’t even describe and before
it’s over, I land on my ass on the floor on the far side of the bed. I hear
Jaz’s voice say, “Melissa! What are you doing home?”

“I just thought I’d . . . were you . . . oh, god, I’m
leaving!”

“Melissa! Wait!” Then he says, “Kimmie? What the hell? Where
are you?”

I wave an arm from the floor. “Down here. Hiding. Go. Don’t
worry about me. I’m fine.”
No I’m not
, I think.
I’m humiliated. Oh,
god, maybe the floor will open up and swallow me.
No. I couldn’t be that
lucky. I hear Jaz rustling around, probably for his jeans, and then the sound
of his feet hitting the floor as he runs down the hallway.

I just drag the sheet off the bed and roll up in it like a
burrito. What else can I do? I was sucking a man’s cock when his teenage
daughter walked into the room. True, she should’ve let him know she was in the
house, but I guess she thought she’d surprise him.

Well, it worked.

My face is so red that I’m pretty sure if I put it to the floor,
it would burn a hole in the hardwood. I wait for what seems like forever, and I
can hear their voices occasionally. I catch the following phrases: “had no idea
you were coming;” “can’t believe I saw that;” “so horribly, terribly gross;”
“wish you’d at least called to let me know;” “scarred for life;” and “not
apologizing for what I do in my own bedroom.”
Yeah, Dad, you tell her
.

I want to get up and put my clothes on, but I’m terrified
the door will open and there she’ll stand. Shit. I don’t know what to do, so I
just lie there. The mix of voices dies down and, after about twenty minutes, I
hear a soft “Kimmie?”

“Down here.”

I look up and Jaz’s face is sticking off the side of the bed
and staring down at me, and it’s wearing a grin that stretches from cheek to
cheek. “Hey, baby! It’s okay. You can come up here.”

“I don’t think I can. I’m all tangled up in this sheet.”
Trying desperately to get myself unwound, I think I’m becoming more tightly
wrapped, like one of those finger cuff things you get as a party favor.

“Here. Let me help you.” Jaz plops down in the floor and
helps to unwrap me, and I wait for the circulation to return to one of my arms.
“I’m so sorry, honey. I had no idea she was coming home. She never said a
word.”

“Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, I think so.” He pulls me into his lap and smooths my
hair. “Her girlfriend broke up with her and she’s really down. She just needs
some ‘dad’ time.” I guess he gets a good look at my face because he smiles at
me. “Listen, don’t be embarrassed. It’s okay, really. She’s cool with it.”

“That’s not what I heard coming down the hallway.”

“I think the shock’s worn off. Want to get dressed and come
in here with us?”

“I really want to get dressed, climb out the bathroom
window, and sneak off.”

“Look, go into the bathroom, brush your hair, wash your
face, pull on your clothes, and get on out there. We’ll go get some breakfast
somewhere and I’ll take you home afterward.”

“Sure.” That’s what I say anyway. Deep down inside, I want
to die of embarrassment, but I do as he says. Before he leaves the room, I call
out, “Hey, do you have a ponytail elastic?”

“Do I
look
like I’d have a ponytail elastic? I’ll ask
Melissa. Hey, Melissa, do you . . .” he’s saying as he leaves the bathroom. In
a minute or two, he comes back. “Here you go. She has no hair. I have no idea
why she had it, but it’s your lucky day.” By then, I’ve got my clothes on, got
myself pulled together, and I brush my hair back, then wrap it with the
elastic. “Pretty as a picture,” he declares and kisses my forehead. “See you in
a minute.”

When I step out into the living room, I have no idea what to
expect, but Jaz is sitting on the sofa, his feet pulled up and one knee up, the
other dropped to the cushion. He’s got an arm draped casually over the knee
that’s up, and he’s talking to a girl sitting in a chair adjacent to the sofa.
She’s late teens or early twenties, and her dark hair is short-short. Through
her plaid button-front men’s shirt I can see that she’s wearing a compression
garment to bind her breasts. Her jeans are baggy, and she’s got on Chucks.
There’s a rainbow pendant around her neck, and my fingers go to my throat, but
my collar’s not there – it’s still in my purse. “Kimmie! Hey, I’d like for you
to meet my daughter, Melissa. Melissa, this is my friend Kimmie.”

“Nice to meet you,” I say as I hold out my hand.

She takes it and squeezes it comfortably. “Hi. Nice to meet
you too.”

“Babe, come here.” Jaz is patting the sofa cushion beside
him, and I sit down and wait while he drapes an arm over my shoulders
protectively. “I was just telling Melissa that this is a new relationship and
we’re working things out.”

I have no idea what to say, so I just choke out, “That’s
right.”

“That’s cool. Relationships are tricky,” Melissa warns,
sounding like a sage relationship expert. “They don’t just happen. You have to
be intentional about them.”

Jaz nods. “And we’re doing just that. We’re being very sure
to be open and truthful with each other.”

She levels a look at him before she says, “So she knows . .
.”

Before he has a chance to answer, I chime up. “Yes. And it
doesn’t matter a bit. Not one bit.” That nets me a kiss on the temple, and I
beam up at him.

She asks quietly, “So should I go?” Jaz said Melissa had
just broken up with her girlfriend, and I think he’s right – she needs some
“dad” time.

I shake my head. “No. I probably need to go anyway.”

“Don’t you want to go get breakfast?” Jaz looks upset, like
he thinks I’m leaving and never coming back.

“Are you sure? You could probably use some time together
without someone else around, don’t you think?”

Now Melissa starts to plead. “Please come to breakfast with
us, Kimmie. Listen, I’m sorry I surprised you like that. Please don’t be
embarrassed or anything.” Bless her heart, her face is so sad that I feel bad
now, even though I didn’t do a damn thing wrong.

I sigh. No way out. “So where are we going?”

Next thing I know, we’re on the road. Melissa drives his car
and he rides with me. “So what do you think of my little girl?”

“I think your little girl is quite the mature woman.”

“I think you’re right. I’m a lucky man in that regard.”

“Only that regard?” I quip.