Indulgence (308 page)

She touched her fingers to her lips as he turned to go.

“Goodnight, Mesa.”

“Goodnight, Joel.”

“Stupid, Joel. Really, really stupid!” He threw the horse’s
bridle across the tack room before he raked his fingers through his hair,
knocking his Stetson from his head.

“Whoa. What’s got your panties in a twist?” Jacob asked,
putting one of the saddles back on the rack. “You aren’t usually this strung
up.”

“Nothin’.”

“It doesn’t sound like nothin’ to me. Throwing tack usually
means you’re pissed.”

“Fine. I’m pissed.”

Jacob removed his hat and tossed it on the desk in the
corner. “About?”

“A woman.”

“So?”

“It’s Mesa.” He paced from one side of the tack room to the
other with agitated steps. The thing with Mesa had him wound up tighter than a
string of barbwire.

“Ah.”

“I kissed her.”

“Yeah, we all saw it out by the bonfire.”

“No, after that. More than once.”

“I still don’t understand what the big deal is.”

“I can’t get involved with someone who is only going to be
here for a few days. It’s crazy.”

“So you have a quick fling. What’s the problem?”

He stopped and turned to face his brother. “The big deal is
she’s not the kind of girl you have a quick fling with, Jacob. She’s a nice
girl. The kind of girl you settle down with.”

“Seriously, Joel. Settle down?”

“I’m not thinkin’ of settlin’ down, idiot, but she’s not the
barfly type.”

“Maybe she is. You never know.” He picked up the bridle and
hung it on the rack. “Maybe you should ask her?”

“Ask her? Really? What do I say? How about a quick fuck,
Mesa?”

“Sure. Why not?”

Joel picked up his Stetson and put it back on his head.
“Maybe. I mean she’s attracted to me from what I can tell. She definitely got
into the kiss we shared.”

“Just fuck her already, would ya,” Jason added, coming in
from the corral. “I’ll take her off your hands if you want. Not like she could
tell the difference between us anyway.”

“I bet she could.”

“I bet she couldn’t.”

Joel stuck out his hand. “How much?”

“A hundred bucks,” Jason answered.

“You’re on.”

“Fine. After dinner, I’ll take her up to her room and turn
on the charm. I bet she kisses me and lets me feel her up.”

Joel squinted and snapped, “I bet she calls a halt to
everything after the first kiss if not before.”

“You know very few people outside of the family can tell the
difference between us, Joel. I bet she can’t.”

“I think she’s more into me and will be able to tell right
away.” Joel kicked a rock near the toe of his boot back out into the corral. He
sounded confident to his brother, but he wasn’t so sure. What if Mesa couldn’t
tell the difference? What if she liked Jason better than him?
No, this is
nuts. I know what our kiss was like. We could set the sheets on fire if I could
get her between them.
“I know what I felt when we kissed.”

“She’s just a woman, Joel. Nothin’ special.”

“You’re wrong there, Jason. She is special.”

*****

The dinner bell clanged and Mesa frowned. She hadn’t seen
Joel all day. Was he avoiding her? Probably. Men didn’t take well to being put
off when they had sex on the brain. Stopping their kiss the night before wasn’t
a bad idea, but maybe he felt like there wasn’t anything to gain now by hanging
out with her.

As Mesa made her way down the stairs to the dining room, the
sound of voices got louder. A bus full of tourist had arrived earlier in the
day, making the whole place buzz like a swarm of bees. Many of them went riding
earlier, leaving her the run of the ranch house to herself. She’d taken her
laptop into the main hall, set it up on one of the tables and managed to type
out the beginning of a new novel called Mission: Cowboy. She cringed. She
wasn’t sure she liked it, but she figured a new title would come to her when
the characters started adding their voices to the storyline. She wasn’t a
plotter when it came to her stories so everything depended on what they said.

Stopping on the stairs, she looked over the group. All the
tourists were back and the place was packed to the gills. The family waited at
their table for the group to be served while they chatted about their day. Joel
sat at the end of the table next to an empty chair she hoped might be for her.
Or was it Joshua? Maybe Jason?
Damn
. From this distance she wasn’t sure
which one was which?
Damn it
.

“Mesa, come sit by me, darlin’.” One of the three waved from
the end of the table.

She chewed on her lips a moment and then started down the
stairs.
Okay. Joel? Shit. I’m not sure.
She took the seat he held out
for her, dropping into it with little grace.
Nice, Mesa.

“How was your day?”

“Great. I got a lot of writing done in the main lodge.”

“Awesome.”

The rest of the group had been served, so the family got up
to get their own plates, which included her. Joel or whichever one of them this
was standing next to her, grinned and motioned for her to take the spot in
front of him. His cologne drifted to her nose. It seemed different somehow. She
looked closer. No, she couldn’t really tell if it was Joel, Jason, or Joshua.
Well, yes she could because Joshua had a small cut near his chin and Joel had a
small abrasion near his bottom lip from their fight at the bar last night. This
must be Jason. But what was he up to? Was he deliberately playing like she
didn’t know the difference? Surely they didn’t think she was that stupid.

“I enjoyed our kiss last night,” he whispered near her ear.

Okay, she didn’t like this game. What the hell was going on?
“Really? I’m glad.”

“Me too. I want to take you out in the moonlight tonight
after dinner. You game?”

“Okay.” She frowned.
Really?
She grabbed a plate in
order to get her dinner as the conversation lagged. Discussing this in front of
his family wasn’t a great idea. She glanced around looking for Joel. He stood
at the back of the line frowning. What kind of game were they playing?

She returned to her place at the table, setting her plate
down first before she retrieved a glass of lemonade and a dessert. Jason slid
his hand along her shoulder as he took the seat next to her. Now she knew why
the cologne was different, he wasn’t Joel. Why was Joel giving her the cold
shoulder? What did they plan?

The conversation around the table focused on the day’s
labors. They’d moved cattle from the south pasture to the north pasture.
Several of the cattle had dropped their calves already making everyone worry it
might be too late in the season and they would suffer without extra feed. She
could hear many of the tourists talking about their ride on the horses that day
and she mentally planned to do some riding of her own tomorrow. Horseback
riding was one of her favorite past times. She wanted to explore the ranch more
with Joel, though. Not on a strict trail ride.

“Would you like to go riding tomorrow?” Jason asked.

“Um, yes I would.”

“Great. I’ll saddle a couple of horses. I can meet you at
the stable around nine in the morning.”

“Okay.”
What the hell? This whole thing stinks.

They finished dinner in silence while the rest of the family
talked about different topics. The moment she finished, Jason grabbed her plate
to deposit it into the dirty dish bin.

“Walk with me.”

“All right,” she answered, deciding to see where this whole
thing might be leading. Did Joel push her off on his brother because he didn’t
want to hurt her feelings by saying he wasn’t attracted to her? Did Jason think
she wanted him?

She let Jason take her hand and walk her out the front door
of the main lodge to the chairs lining the porch. Even though the full moon
happened the night before, it still shone bright enough to see the walkway.

“You look beautiful in the moonlight.”

“Thank you.”

“You know, the kiss we shared last night blew my socks off.
I wish you hadn’t made me leave.”

Frowning, she opened her mouth to tell him she knew he
wasn’t Joel, but he bent his head and kissed her full on the mouth. She quickly
stepped back and smacked him across the face. “How dare you.”

“What?”

“Do you think I’m stupid? Do both of you think I wouldn’t
know the difference between you, Jason?”

“You knew I wasn’t Joel?”

“Hell yes! Even if I hadn’t figured it out at dinner, I
would have known from the kiss.”

“Most people can’t tell the difference between us.”

“Joel has an abrasion near the left side of his mouth from
where he got in a fight with Joshua at the bar last night.”

“Damn.”

“What the hell is going on here? Why the ruse?”

“I’ll tell you, Mesa,” Joel said, coming around the side of
the house. “I was pissed off at myself this morning because of what happened
last night. Our kiss, I mean.”

“Well you know what? Fuck both of you! You want to play
these sillyassed games, you can play them on some other unsuspecting woman. I’m
not doin’ it.”

“Mesa, listen,” Joel implored, holding out his hand to touch
her arm.

She jerked back and slapped at him. “No. This is childish. I
can’t believe you two! I thought I might have meant a little more to you than
this, Joel, but apparently not. What we shared last night was special to me,
but not to you. I’m just another girl to you.”

“No, you’re not, Mesa.”

“Yeah, whatever.” She spun around to head back into the
house. Maybe it was time to go. Head back to Los Angeles and lick her wounds.

“Mesa, please.”

“What Joel?” She turned back around.

“Let’s talk about this.”

“What the hell is there to talk about? You and your brother
were playing me for the fool. How many times have you three switched places on
a girl, huh? I bet a lot.”

“No.”

“Yes.” During her discussion with Joel, Jason had
disappeared either back into the house or whatever. At this point, she really
didn’t care. He probably slinked back into his hidy hole. Man, if she ever
became a permanent part of this family, she’d…what?
Those are crazy
thoughts.

Joel slipped his hand along the side of her face before
burying his hand in her hair. He dragged her in closer with a fistful of her
hair at the back of her neck. “I want you.”

“You made a fool of me.”

“No, I wanted to make sure it was me you wanted.” His lips
whispered over hers. The softness skimmed across her cheek to her ear. “I need
you.”

“Need is a powerful word.”

“It’s totally what I’m feeling, but I can’t promise you
anything beyond tonight.”

“I don’t need anything more.”

“Are you sure?” he asked, listing his head to look into her
eyes. The blue glistened in the moonlight like a beacon for her lost soul.

“Yes. I need you. I need this.”

“Your room or my place?”

“You have somewhere we can go?”

“Yeah. I have my own cabin a few miles up the road.”

“Make love to me, Joel. Fuck me.”

He pulled her head back as he raked his teeth along her
neck. Shivers raced down her arms as a soft moan escaped her mouth. “Come home
with me.”

“Yes, please.”

He looked deep into her eyes for a moment as if judging
whether she was serious or not. Little did he know, she’d wanted this from the
first time he’d kissed her or maybe it was when she had her breasts squished to
his back as they rode in the rain back to the house? Who cared?

“Let’s go,” he said, grabbing her hand and half dragging her
to where his truck stood in the parking lot behind the main lodge.

“A little horny are we?”

“Hell yeah. A lot horny. You’ve had me wound up tighter than
a damned spring from the moment you climbed up behind me to rest those gorgeous
breasts against my back.” He opened the door on the driver’s side of his truck,
practically shoving her inside the cab by the seat of her pants. “Sorry, baby.”

Oh I love the little endearments coming from his mouth
now that we’re going to have sex.
“You can call me all the little pet names
you want.”

He grinned as he turned over the truck and shot gravel
behind it as he tore out of the drive. “You have no idea how much I want this.”

“If I’m judging your craving to mine, I bet I do.”

“How long has it been since you’ve had sex?”

“Several months. You?”

“Me too.”

“You do have condoms, right?”

“Yeah. A few.” He grinned.

“I hope you plan on using several tonight.”

“Oh, no problem there, babe.”

Damn, he almost sounds cocky.
Well, why wouldn’t he
be? He could probably have any woman he wants. She frowned, feeling a bit
self-conscious at her rounded little stomach and even rounder hips. She wasn’t
a skinny woman by any means.

“Why the frown?”

“Nothing.”

“No, baby. Tell me. No secrets tonight.”

She bit her lip.

“Come on.”

“I’m just not the skinny little cowgirls you’re used to.”

“I’m not into skinny.”

“Younger?”

“I’m not into jailbait either, Mesa. I like you the way you
are. Rounded curves and enough softness for me to sink myself into. I don’t
plan on coming out until tomorrow mornin’. You okay with that?”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive, babe.” He grabbed her hand to place it on his
groin.

The hardness behind his fly let her know he wanted
her…needed her.
God, he’s huge!

“I hope you plan on goin’ easy on me.”

“Why?”

“Like I said, I haven’t had sex in a bit and you aren’t exactly
small.”

“I’ll take care of you.”

Within moments, they pulled up to a small cabin with a porch
around the front. It wasn’t anything huge by any means. Just small enough for a
single man, or a couple maybe.
Get those thoughts out of your head. You’re
only here for a few days.