Infection Z (Book 5) (20 page)

H
ayden watched
Gary lift his gun.

Point it at Amy.

Pull the trigger.

And in his mind, he saw the bullet hurtling towards Amy. He saw it piercing her skull. He saw the last thing he cared about—the last person on this planet he was willing to fight so hard for—falling to the ground, that dead look in her eyes that he’d seen in so many people’s by now.

But that didn’t happen.

It didn’t happen because nothing came out of Gary’s gun.

He looked at the gun. Looked at it, eyes wide. Like something was wrong. Like things weren’t happening the way they were supposed to.

Then he saw the man holding on to Amy lift his rifle.

Point it at Gary.

“Wait!” Hayden shouted.

He wasn’t sure where that voice came from. Wasn’t sure which place inside him it’d come from, or how it’d happened. He hated what Gary had done. Detested what Gary had done. He wanted to see him dead for what he’d done to Miriam. For what his people had done to Hayden and his friends.

But he found himself shouting again. Shouting at these UN people to hold their fire. Not to pull their triggers.

He saw them turn around. Look at him. The rotors of the helicopter grew louder. He saw that Gary was restrained now. His gun was on the floor of the helicopter. From behind, he could hear the infected approaching. He didn’t have long left. None of them had long left.

“Don’t kill him,” Hayden said.

Again, he wasn’t sure where those words came from. Wasn’t sure which part of his deepest consciousness they’d sprouted from. But as he said them, he found himself crying. He found himself meaning them. Totally meaning them.

“He’s—he’s done bad things. But he’s one of my people. He’s… he’s one of New Britain.”

He saw the look in Gary’s eyes then. Saw the look of hatred change in the space of a second. The look of hatred suddenly shifted to a look of embarrassment. A look of fear. A look of sorrow.

“He fucked up. He fucked up so much. But—but he’s alive. He’s alive and he’s uninfected. So he’s important. Don’t kill him. Please.”

There was silence. The UN people didn’t say anything to Hayden. Gary didn’t say anything. Nobody—not even the humans on the helicopter, who Hayden could see clearly now—said anything.

And then, a voice came from inside the helicopter. A woman’s voice.

“We might not kill him,” she said. “But we don’t want him in our new world.”

Hayden watched as the people of the helicopter pushed against Gary. As they kicked him and beat him until he fell out of the helicopter, hit the ground below. Nobody tried to help him up. And Hayden couldn’t help—as fucking stupid as he knew it sounded—but feel sympathy for Gary.

Despite everything Gary had done, he was one of his people.

He’d had the same goal as Hayden. The same mission all along.

Keep New Britain safe.

He’d done what he thought he had to do. And the truth was, they’d all done horrible things since the world collapsed. They’d all done nasty things.

Gary wasn’t alone in that.

Hayden couldn’t hate him. No matter how much he wanted to, no matter how much he knew he should do, he just couldn’t hate him.

Hayden stood. He dragged himself to his weary feet and he walked towards the helicopter. Gary lay on the ground. One of the UN troops had a gun to his head.

“Leave… leave him,” Hayden said, limping.

The guns lifted.

Turned on him.

“Keep your distance, sir.”

Hayden knew why they were looking at him in the way they were right now. He knew why they were looking at him with such fear. With such uncertainty. He knew what it was like to be looked at like a monster. He’d been looked at that way so many times already.

“Hayden,” Amy said, whimpering. “Please. Please leave him. He’s just… he’s just Hayden.”

Hayden felt the stare of the troops burning into him. But more than anything, he heard the fear in Amy’s voice. He’d promised he’d never leave her. But he knew now—he saw now—that he had no choice.

“The girl,” Hayden said. “At least let me say goodbye.”

“No,” Amy said, kicking and shaking against the UN troop. “Please. Please no. Please no.”

One of the troops standing closest to Hayden—a black guy, well built, clear sympathy in his eyes, nodded. “One minute. Then we’re out of here, with the kid or without her.”

Hayden nodded back. “That’s all I’ll need.”

He staggered towards Amy. He could feel the focus on the rifles still on him. In all his life, he’d never felt so watched. Never felt so important, in a way. Even though he’d done grander things, like “saved” New Britain, nothing seemed to conquer the importance of walking up to Amy right now and telling her to be brave. Walking up to the girl—the last of his people—and telling her how sorry he was that he couldn’t go with her into the next world.

He crouched opposite Amy. Held out his hands.

She shook her head. “I won’t go. I won’t go.”

“You have to,” Hayden said, taking her hands.

“I don’t. I won’t—”

“Amy, I know it’s hard. I know how hard it is.”

“I’ve got no one. Just you. Just you.”

Hayden tightened his hands around Amy’s. He could tell that everyone was looking at him, looking at Amy. Some of them were crying.

He took in a deep, shaky breath. Then he leaned in, leaned right into Amy’s ear. “There’s a new world waiting for you. And as scary as it is… someone once told me something.”

He felt himself back at that swimming pool again. Annabelle by his side. Her hair swaying in the breeze, shining in the sunlight.

“The monsters. The worst monsters of all. They’re inside your head. But if you can conquer those—if you can stand up to those and tell them to get out of the way—you can achieve anything.”

Amy was quiet. She snivelled.

“I never used to believe it. I never even used to know what it meant. But I do now. I have for a while now. And it got me here. It got both of us here.”

“Wrap it up, folks.”

Hayden pulled away from Amy’s ear. Her eyes were bloodshot. He could taste his own tears on his lips.

“You go into the new world and make your mum proud,” Hayden said.

Amy’s bottom lip shook. “I’m scared.”

“It’s okay to be scared,” Hayden said. “Being scared shows that you’re still alive.”

They looked into each other’s eyes for a few seconds. For a moment, Hayden felt a connection with this kid. A connection unlike any he’d ever had.

Any, except for the one he’d had with Annabelle all those years ago.

“Be brave, Amy,” Hayden said.

The UN soldiers took her arms. Started to move her towards the helicopter. Towards the unknown. She protested again. Kicked back. Not as much as before, but still kicking up a fight.

“And remember what I said,” Hayden shouted.

He watched as they took Amy into the helicopter. As they sat her down. Reached for the door.

“The monsters,” Hayden said. “The worst monsters are in your head. If you can defeat them—if you can be brave and stare them in the face—you can do anything. You can be anything you want to be, Amy. You can…”

He saw the doors of the helicopter slide shut.

He knew she couldn’t hear him anymore.

Hayden lay there on the cold ground. He listened to the rotors speed up once more. He looked through that window into Amy’s eyes. He wanted to be on that helicopter with her. He wanted to be there with her so much. He could see how terrified she was. How afraid and alone she was.

But the fact was, he wasn’t for the new world.

He wasn’t for the new world not just because he had a botched immunisation inside him, but because he’d been bitten.

Because he was turning.

But as Hayden watched the helicopter ascend, as he saw his final hope of ever getting away from Britain departing him, he didn’t feel sadness. He didn’t feel fear.

More than anything, he felt proud.

He’d done what he had to do. He’d done the last thing that mattered to him. The final thing that kept him on this earth. The whole reason he’d been brought back from the dead in the first place.

He’d kept his people safe.

Continued their legacy.

He watched the helicopter get further and further away. He looked into Amy’s eyes for as long as he could.

When she shifted out of view, he kept on looking up, just to make sure she was getting away okay. Just to check everything was going to plan.

He smiled as he watched the helicopter catch up with the rest of them. As the rapidly spinning rotors disappeared and were replaced by the familiar sounds of groaning, of footsteps, of silence.

He’d done what he had to do.

He’d kept his people safe.

And now he could roll over and…

When he turned, he saw someone standing beside him.

Gary.

He looked up at Gary. Looked into the eyes of the man he both detested and saved. He saw the look of anger there again. The look of fury.

“You—you fucked it up,” Gary said. Hayden could hear the shakiness in Gary’s voice. The fear.

“Gary, I—”

“My way out of here. You… you fucked it up.”

He walked towards Hayden. And Hayden braced himself for Gary’s boot to dig into his side. For him to get down there and beat the shit out of him. End his life. Finish him off, once and for all.

But something else happened.

Gary lifted Hayden up.

Then he wrapped his arms around him and started crying.

He held onto Hayden tight. Held on, apologising, spilling his heart out, telling Hayden how sorry he was for everything he’d taken away from him, how stupid he’d been, how selfish he’d been, how blinded by power and grief he’d been.

And as much as Hayden wanted to tell Gary that he should be sorry, he could only do one thing.

Put his arms around Gary, too.

Hold on to him.

Cry with him.

T
hey stood there
. Hayden wasn’t sure how long they stood there for, but they did. They stood there silently, the life seeping from Hayden’s body, death rapidly approaching.

And then Hayden saw something in the distance. A flash. A bright flash way over the horizon. Seconds after that flash, Hayden heard the bang. Loud. Thunderous. More powerful than anything he’d ever witnessed.

They stood there, Hayden and Gary. Stood there and stared off into the distance.

When the brightness cleared, Hayden saw it. The mushroom cloud. It looked different to the ones you saw on television and films. Much larger, and much more intimidating.

But there was something beautiful about it too. Something unavoidable, inescapable, as that barrage of power rushed towards them, prepared to wrap its arms around them and take them away.

Hayden felt Gary grab his hand.

He held Gary’s hand in turn.

They stood there as another flash filled the sky. As another mushroom cloud emerged to the left. And then another, this one further away. And as they stood there, surrounded by inevitability, Hayden took a final look around Britain—a final look through these eyes—and then he closed them.

In his mind, as the rumbling grew closer, as the winds grew louder, he saw his family.

Just like the dreams. His mum. His dad. Clarice.

Only they weren’t dead. They weren’t infected. They were standing in Annabelle’s bedroom—the one he’d seen her hang herself in—and they were smiling. Dad waved at Hayden. Mum called out to him. Told him to enter.

And Hayden did. He walked in. And the further he walked in, he saw other people were there. Newbie. Miriam. Sarah. People he’d survived with. People who’d shaped his life. People he’d loved.

And then, standing by the window, he saw Annabelle.

She wasn’t hanging. She wasn’t anywhere near a rope.

She was just standing there, looking just like she did that day by the swimming pool, only she looked even more real than she had done back then. She looked even more alive than any memory could create.

She smiled at Hayden. Smiled at him, her blonde hair swaying by the side of her head, then let out a little laugh that Hayden had forgotten she’d even done; it’d been so many years since he’d heard it.

She held out her hand.

“Come on, little brother. I’ve missed you.”

Hayden smiled.

He smiled, and he tasted tears on his lips.

“I’m here,” he said.

He felt burning heat on his face.

Felt the sounds of the earth tearing itself up screeching in his ears.

He took his sister’s hand. Held onto it.

“I’m he…”

He heard a final bang.

He felt his sister’s hand tighten around his.

And then there was nothing but silence.

A
my looked
down at the bright colours coming from the sky behind her.

She knew what they were. She’d seen them when mum’s boyfriend used to watch his war documentaries. She knew what the mushrooms in the sky were. And she knew what they did. She’d seen that too because she’d accidentally walked in when her stepdad was watching some old videos.

She’d seen the pain those mushrooms in the sky caused. She’d seen the damage they created.

And when she looked back at them, all of them exploding one by one, one after the other, she felt scared.

Because she knew Hayden was stuck in the middle of them.

She knew so many people were stuck in the middle of them.

Her ears rang from the sounds of the propellers above. Her eyes stung from watching the blasts. She’d heard people crying in the helicopter she was in. There were a few people in here. Strange people, but then Amy guessed she must seem strange too because she’d seen things. Been through things.

They all had stories. Stories that would stay with them. Stories that would keep them up at night. Stories that they’d hide and try not to tell.

Amy had too many of those stories.

She hoped she’d never have to tell them. She didn’t even want to think about them again.

“Sad, isn’t it?”

A woman’s voice came from her right. She was looking out of the helicopter. She didn’t look sad, though. In fact, Amy thought it looked like she was smiling.

She turned to Amy. Nodded at her. “Think of how many years it took this country to get to what it did. Think of all those boring history lessons. All of that just… just gone.”

“Not as long as we’re here to tell it again,” a man said.

The woman turned around. Nodded.

Amy didn’t say a word.

She’d been offered food a few times. But truth be told, when they’d offered her chocolate bars, she’d felt strange taking them. She didn’t feel hungry. She didn’t like the idea of just taking stuff like that. It was too easy. Even though she’d been in New Britain for so long, it still felt like food shouldn’t just be handed to her. It felt like she should have to work for it.

She guessed she’d always feel that way from now on. She’d never be the little girl she was before the world ended, that’s for sure.

Only it hadn’t ended.

She watched the edge of land disappear. She saw a couple more flashes of light way in the distance. She squinted at them as the mushrooms sprouted out of them. She wondered if Hayden was dead yet. If he was, she wondered if he’d been scared. He didn't seem scared. He never seemed scared. He always seemed like he knew what he was doing. But more than anything, he seemed like other people were the most important thing to him. Like they mattered more than even himself.

Amy hoped she could be like Hayden one day. She hoped there were more people like Hayden wherever she was going.

She thought back to her mum as the island—Britain—got further away. And thinking of her mum made her sad because Mum had a way of making her not feel scared even when everything was going wrong around her. She missed Mum. She tried not to think about the last time she’d seen her. What the zombie did to her. Because that wasn’t her real mum. That wasn’t the mum that had got her so far, that had taught her to be strong.

Her real mum was the one she had to remember. The one she had to remember to keep inside her even when she was upset.

Mum made her strong.

She could never let go of her.

After a while, the sun now higher in the sky, she saw the helicopters moving closer towards the sea.

She heard some gasps. And she started to worry that something was going wrong. That was until she saw the happiness on the faces of the people in the helicopter. The tears of joy.

Amy looked around.

In the distance, she could see land. Only it wasn’t like the land they’d just left behind. This land had little things moving on it. Like cars.

This land was alive.

Amy felt a knot in her chest the closer they got to the land. She felt herself wanting to hide away as the helicopters descended, as they landed. When she saw the mass of people all in the distance, all surrounding the helicopters, smiles on their faces, cameras raised.

She didn’t want to be here.

She wasn’t strong enough to be here. Not on her own.

Outside the window, she saw children climbing out of one of the other helicopters. She saw men, women, even pets. People of all ages getting off these helicopters, then the cameras flashing as they walked through the people. Amy saw them and she felt herself wanting to cave in even more. Because she didn’t know these people. She was alone amongst these people. She wasn’t strong without her mum here, without Hayden here.

The door opened. She felt the breeze hit her face. And just smelling that air was amazing. Air that didn’t smell like the dead. Amy only now realised that the air smelled like the dead back in Britain even when she didn’t think it did, just because she’d grown so used to it.

But this. This was fresh air. This was amazing.

She took in a long, deep breath and tried to fight the tingling butterflies in her tummy.

“Come on, kiddo. Time to get you out of here.”

Amy looked at the man in front of the helicopter door. It was the black man who’d taken her towards the helicopter in the first place. He was standing there, hand out. In the distance, Amy saw the crowd of people. She saw the cameras, getting ready to flash.

And still she wanted to stay in that helicopter. Still, she wanted to disappear. To say she wasn’t ready. That she wanted to go back.

And then she remembered Hayden’s words.

“The worst monsters of all. They’re inside your head. But if you can conquer those—if you can stand up to those and tell them to get out of the way—you can achieve anything.”

Amy hadn’t really understood those words at first. But now, as she stood here, the man holding his hand out getting ready to lead her out into the new world, they made sense to her. Made much more sense to her.

He wanted her to be strong.

He wanted her to do something she really didn’t want to do. Something scary. Something terrifying. Just like he’d done to get her here. Just like all the things he’d done to keep his people alive. To keep everyone alive.

She took a deep breath.

Looked into the eyes of the cameras ahead.

“It’s okay to be scared. Being scared shows that you’re still alive. Be brave, Amy.”

“You ready?” the man asked.

Amy swallowed a lump in her throat.

She’d never let go of who got her here. Of how he’d got her here.

Hayden McCall was her hero.

And he’d never be gone. Never.

She took the man’s hand.

“I’m ready,” she said.

She stepped out of the helicopter.

Stepped out of her perfect little bubble.

Stepped out into the new world.