INFECtIOUS (35 page)

Friendship Bites

At the bottom of
the steps in the dark, cold cellar, Matt lunges at Harmony. I can't fathom why
he is attacking her and I try to push him away. Matt has hold of her shirt and
he rips it open down the front. What is he doing! Harmony is screaming again in
the terrified grips of another assault. I wrench her from Matt's grasp and hold
her close to me. But before I wrap her in my arms, I see what he saw. Her
sports bra is stained bright red with her blood, but there is no wound on her
chest. Matt backs away and paces back and forth in a state of obvious
agitation.

"She was
dead," I hear him mutter.

Harmony is
sobbing. I try to sooth her and reassure her that she's safe now. That Matt doesn't
want to hurt her. He's not helping. He looks angry and menacing. It's dark
outside now and I know how late it's getting. I'm in huge trouble. I need to
get Harmony home. I find a shirt in the piles of stuff Matt has stashed down
here. She cowers in a corner and trades the torn, bloody shirt for the new, too
big T-shirt. I leave Matt to his mental breakdown and help Harmony into the
tunnel. We hurry back through the oppressive darkness to the entrance to our
safer world. I've never gotten up the ladder on my own and I'm not sure I can
do it. I'll have to help pull Harmony up too.

I put my hand on
the lowest rung of the ladder and take a deep breath. Suddenly, Matt is there
next to me. Harmony shrieks again and it echoes through the tunnels like a banshee's
cry. Matt and I both turn impatiently and shush her. She covers her mouth with
her hand and looks fearfully back at us. Matt lifts himself easily up the
ladder and reaches to help me. His warm hand grabs mine and I notice he's taken
off the bloody gloves. The physical touch between us does what it always does
to me. It boosts my confidence exponentially, warms me with intimacy, and
confirms in my heart that I want nothing more than to be with him. Our second
date has been fraught with catastrophes. Would I walk through the tunnel again
for a third?
Absolutely.
I'd take on the world with
him. Harmony stands at the bottom, unwilling to take Matt's hand. I coax her to
take one of my hands and one of his. We lift her small frame easily up to
ground level without her even having to climb the ladder.

I take her hand
to lead her towards home and Matt grabs my arm gently, holding my attention for
one more warning, "Don't let her tell anyone about this."

Harmony barely
looks at me during our short, speedy jog. She
let's
out little sobs between panting breaths as we run. She's desperate to get home
and get away from me. I won't leave her
alone,
I'll go
with her to her door before running to see how much trouble I'm in. I try to
reason with her and explain the importance of keeping the tunnel a secret. She
doesn't give any indication that she's listening or that she'll comply. I don't
have time to beg and I wouldn't dream of threatening her. Her hands shake as
she unlocks her door and ducks inside without a word. Slamming and re-locking
the door behind her.

"Bye"
I mumble to myself and run the last block to the Inn.

I can see Tim
pacing outside the back door as I run up the
ally
behind the Inn. I've left Matt frustrated and Harmony terrified to hurry back
to Tim who is furious. I'm not doing great with friends right now. Tim barrels
towards me and grabs me by my shoulders.

"Where were
you!" he demands, worry and anger fighting for victory over his facial
features. I meet his scowl with needy, emotional, tear-filled eyes— so hoping
that worry will win out over anger. I can't take anymore tonight, I'm
completely spent emotionally. If he starts yelling at me I don't think I'll be
able to keep myself together.

"I went for
a walk?" I mumble as a tear breaks free in the corner of my eye and
plunges down my sweaty cheek.

"You've
been gone for hours! I looked everywhere. You weren't at the grave, you weren't
at the U.R., where were you!"

"Tim, I'm
sorry. I didn't mean to worry you. Where's Rosa?"

He nods
impatiently towards the back door and I see her sleeping sitting up against the
door, bundled in her little jacket.

I feel terrible.

I promised to
take care of her. How long has she been huddled there in the cold? I've hurt
three of the people I love with my foolish choice to follow Matt tonight. But
was it foolish? It may have been very necessary.

"You're
hurt?" he asks with concern, gently touching the bloody scratch on my neck
where the briars caught me.

"Tim. I can
explain, but right now I need you to do something," I wipe my nose and
steel myself for the inevitable. I need his help and that won't come without
his anger—without hurting him.

His hands now on
his hips he puts his head back and looks up at the night sky, both frustrated
and worried, trying to calm himself.

"I need you
to go to the Elders tonight and tell them we're all in danger. The missionaries
were right. We have to move as soon as possible. There are gangs of armed
zombies gathering around the fence. They are planning to attack us. You have to
tell the Elders tonight. I don't know how long we have."

"You were
walking the fence? Alone! After everything we learned from Chuck? Are you an
idiot, Ivy? Do you have a death-wish? What were you
thinking!
"

"I wasn't
alone," I blurt and then deeply regret.

"Who were
you with?"

When I don't
immediately answer, Tim looks darkly at my face, my traitorous tattle-tale
face, and figures it out. He knows it was Matt. I look down at my shoes,
ashamed, testifying that he has indeed guessed right. He steps back from me
disgusted and furious.

Anger has won.
Worry never had a chance.

He doesn't say a
word. Just stalks down the driveway without looking back at me. I've hurt him.
I don't know if the damage is repairable and I genuinely hope it can be. I care
about him. He's been so good to me and I hate myself for stabbing him in the
back. Matt was right, Tim may have just gotten his first glimpse of the real
Ivy.

"Please
Tim!" I yell after him. "Tell the Elders tonight! We are in serious
danger!"

No indication
that he hears or cares.

I pick Rosa up
and she opens her sleepy eyes and smiles at me. Her smile is precious and I'm
thankful for her unconditional love. I hug her tight and take her inside.

 
Rosa is back to sleep, tucked in my bed. I'm
absolutely exhausted.
Physically and emotionally drained dry.
Before I climb in next to her though, I have to pack. I am thoroughly convinced
that we have few days left here in
Toccoa
. The attack
could come at any time. Hopefully the Elders will listen and decide to move us
all before it's too late. If we leave as a community, I'm sure I'll be able to
take at least one suitcase. If we leave in a panic in the middle of the night
however, I'll need to be able to carry my bag and Rosa.

That's the bag
I'm packing tonight.
A backpack of the most important things.
I pack: a change of clothes for Rosa and I, extra socks and underwear, Rosa's
Mickey Mouse hat, a toothbrush and a bar of soap. I fill the front pocket with
Gov Bars. I'm almost out of room. What else can I not live without? Oh, my
taser
and my flashlight.
And hair bands.
I tuck the drawing that Matt made of me in between the pages of
Aunty's
Bible and add it to the backpack. I have just
enough room for the little devotional book that has helped me the most lately.
I can't think of anything else that I need or want. I zip the backpack and lay
it next to my shoes by my bedroom door. I can leave fast if I need to.

I climb in next
to Rosa and, though I'm exhausted, sleep won't come. I wonder if Matt is
sleeping. I wonder if Harmony is ok and if she understands what happened
tonight. Did she know she died? Did she feel Him raise her? It was the most
incredible thing He's ever used me for. If He never did anything noticeable in
my life again, that moment alone will be enough for me to know who He is, how
awesome He is, for the rest of my life. My tired eyes tear up again just
remembering how it felt to be so full with Him. That must be what heaven will
feel like. To be that closely connected to our Source. Aunty has that now.
Tears fall and quiet sobs shake my tired body and make my stomach hurt.

What about Tim.
He must hate me. I wonder if I'll ever see him again. I know I have a choice to
make. Matt has asked me to go with him "when the time comes" and I
know the time is coming fast.
If not tonight, then maybe
tomorrow.
I wonder where we'll
go?
I know he
lives in Atlanta, but I can't go there. That's Pravda central.
Ground zero.
I wouldn't last a day there. Matt doesn't
believe me though about how much they want me. What if I can't make him
understand? What if I pick to go with him and miss out on leaving with the
others and he still wants to go to Atlanta?

I have to think
of Rosa, too. I know where I want to take her.
A warm beach.
I don't know how far away we are from a nice beach in Florida, but surely it
can't be that far. Georgia is only one state away from Florida. I bet we could
get there in a few hours. I think life would be so much more bearable if the
weather was warm and hospitable. This awful cold is just one more reason to
hate life. I can just picture me and Rosa and Matt and Thomas splashing in the
ocean, far from zombies.
Far from Pravda.
With the
sound of the ocean in my mind I fall into a fitful sleep next to Rosa.

This Is
A
First For Me

Rosa wakes me by
tapping gently on my cheek. When I open my eyes she's just inches from my face.
It's still dark out, but I can tell the sun is starting to rise.
It's
morning and we made it through the night.

"Hi,"
I say with a smile and a yawn.

She smiles in
response. She still hasn't spoken. She points at her open mouth to tell me
she's hungry. I don't even know if she had dinner yesterday. I feel guilty
again for making them wait hours for me last night. I love waking up to guilt.
It's such a great way to start your day.

I make Rosa and
I duck egg omelets with the last of the eggs and cheese. Aunty was in charge of
trading for food and keeping the fridge stocked. I feel her absence everywhere
this morning.
Her kitchen, her crocheted tablecloth, her
bible verses on the fridge.
She was memorizing the book of Revelation.
Rosa waves for my
attention,
she wants me to blow on
her bites. It's kind of amazing how easily we have fallen into this
mother/daughter relationship. She wants to be taken care of and I want to have
something to live for.
Someone who needs me.

I don't know
where the missionaries are or if they are even still staying here. I guess
they've been eating their meals somewhere else. I try to tell myself I can't
take care of everyone. Aunty would understand. I want to live up to what she
wanted me to be and I'm worried that I'm already falling short.

Rev.
Depold
said that Ms. Scott would be coming by sometime
today to officially take over for me. If Tim took my message to the Elders,
hopefully they are planning to move everyone. I'm worried that they won't take
my warning seriously enough. I'm relieved that the attack didn't happen in the
night, but I feel certain it's coming soon. If we are relocating, Ms. Scott
won't be taking over the Inn. I think she would've been terrible at it anyway.

When the
doorbell rings, I assume it's someone coming to tell us what the Elder's have
decided. Through the leaded glass door I see Jose standing outside. I hope
nothing is wrong with Thomas as I hurry to unlock the door and let Jose in.

"Hey,
Ivy."

"Hi. Is
anything wrong with Thomas?"

"No, he's
doing great. Actually, I'm here because Ellen and I were hoping you'd keep him
company during the meeting today. Ellen thought maybe you wouldn't mind missing
it; and she and I both want to be there."

"Oh. Sure.
When is it?"

Jose looks
suddenly uncomfortable when he realizes this is the first I've heard of the
town meeting. I guess he's worried he's told me something I wasn't supposed to
know.

"It's
ok," I try to sound nonchalant. "I knew there'd be a meeting, I just
hadn't heard what time."

I don't even
consider this a lie. I'm more "in the know" than anyone at this
point. I wonder if they asked Tim to tell me. That's a good possibility and a
likely reason for my ignorance. He's probably really mad at me.

"I'd love
to watch Thomas. I don't need to be at the meeting."

"Oh. Are
you sure?" Jose looks like he'd like to back out of his request.

"Totally.
I'll have Rosa
with me if that's okay? What time do you want me at your house?"

"Uh, 11:45
would be great. Thank you."

Rosa has been
hiding behind my legs peeking out at Jose. She suddenly sneezes and Jose squats
down to her eye level and says, "Dios
te
bendiga
."

Rosa smiles
shyly at him and looks up at me with bigger eyes than normal. I think she
understood him.

"¿
Estás
bien
?"
Jose asks her.

I don't speak
any
spanish
. I have
absolutely no idea what he said. But it's one of the happiest moments I've had
in ages when I hear her sweet little voice respond quietly, "
Sí
". I laugh and pick her up and hug her close. Jose
stands back up and turns to go. He has no idea what an important thing he's
just been part of.

"Jose!"
I call out as he is stepping back outside. "Can you tell her I love her?
Please? Can you tell her for me that I'll always take care of her?"

Jose studies me
for a moment. He looks skeptical. He's probably worried about promising this
sweet little girl something that neither of us have true control over. Only God
can make such promises. I know that, but I want to say it anyway. Is that
stupid? I think it's the kind of thing a mom promises her little girl, even if
it's not always kept. It's still what my heart wants.

Jose reaches out
and takes Rosa's little hand. They have the same skin tone and similar eyes. He
speaks quietly with sincerity, "Ivy
te
ama
.
Ella
quiere
cuidar
de
ti
."

I can't be sure
of what he said to her, but she looks sweetly at me and then hugs my neck. Jose
has already stepped outside and pulled the door closed behind him. I spin Rosa
around and around in the foyer until we are dizzy. We fall on the carpet
laughing and she climbs into my arms for
a snuggle
.

A few hours
later, Rosa and I arrive at Jose and Ellen's a little early. I brought our bag
of belongings with me. I plan to keep it on me wherever I go now. I hope Matt
will find me and give me some warning when it's time to leave. But I'll be
ready to go no matter what. I also decided to bring the bag of toys for Thomas
that I've had in my closet. I should've sent them to him days ago. He's been
stuck in bed with so little to do. I just never thought of it in all the chaos
that has been my life this week.

I take Rosa in
to meet Thomas while Jose and Ellen finish getting ready. He's sitting in a
wheelchair this time and I'm happy to see him out of bed.

"Wow!
You're looking great kid!"

"Thanks,"
he nods happily, "I'm getting better."

"This is
Rosa," I say introducing her. "Tom," I say looking at Rosa and
pointing to Thomas. Now that I know she's capable of speech, I'm trying to
remember to point to things and say their name. At home, after Jose left, she
followed me around the house and listened to me point to different things and
name
them. She never tried to repeat me, but she smiled the
whole time and wanted the new game to go on and on. Even on the walk to Thomas'
she pointed at houses and trees, looking to me for each word.

"Hi
Rosa!"
Thomas says sweetly. He's more kind and gentle than other boy's
his age and I can tell he likes her already. He asks me who she is and when I
tell him she came in with one of the missionaries he exclaims, "Just like
me!" I hadn't even thought of that connection. Thomas will probably love
her even more for that.

"Was it
Harvey?" he asks. "Harvey was great with kids."

I don't want to
tell Thomas that Harvey didn't come home for the homecoming. It seems Jose and
Ellen
haven't
told him.

"No, a
missionary named Jack. He looked like a wild mountain man when he showed up at
my door. I thought he was Big Foot or something!"

"Big
Foot?"
Thomas asks, too young to have heard of the old legend. So much
has been lost in the decline of civilization. Kids his age used to know all
about Big Foot and the Abominable Snowman and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Now, with no television, and most of life being a constant survival situation,
the hero's and monsters that were common knowledge when I was a kid are dead.
We still watch occasional movies at the U.R., but Thomas hasn't been here in
the community long enough to have seen more than one or two.

"Never
mind."
I say with a smile. I reach up and rub my hand over the stubble
of his buzz cut. I miss his cute curly locks. The stitches on his head look
much better and the cut on his face is healing fast. Last time I was here his
arm was in a sling. Today it's propped up on a small pillow on his lap, no
sling, wrapped in layers and layers of gauze.

"How's the
hand?" I ask when he sees me looking at it.

He
cheerful face
gets cloudy, "Pretty ugly. Mom re-bandages it every day. It keeps getting
infected. The Doctor found me some Penicillin but it didn't make it all better.
Mom puts herbs on it and they help. It still hurts." Then in a
conspiratorial whisper he asks, "Does Matt know about it?"

I guess he has
figured out that I'm not supposed to see Matt but that I do. It's nice to talk
about Matt with someone who is happy hearing his name. I'm used to hiding him.
I choose my words carefully, not wanting to say something that would upset him
or get me in trouble with Jose and Ellen.

"Yes, he does.
Actually, I need you to keep another secret. Can you?"

He nods
"yes" emphatically.
Thrilled to know anything that
has to do with his big brother.

"He gave me
something to give to you." I pull the glove out of my bag. I remembered to
pack it this morning after Jose stopped by. Rosa had pulled it back out before
we left and slipped her hand inside. The glove has technology that responds to
human flesh. When Rosa put her hand in, it tightened around her hand and filled
in the rest of the fingers it thought she was missing because her hands are so
tiny. She made a nervous little squeak and pulled it off quickly. Now, handing
it to Thomas he looks just as uncomfortable with it.

"I don't
want that."

I'm holding it
out to him but he doesn't reach to take it.

"Matt
thought it would help you use your right hand again," I say encouragingly.

 
To be honest, I don't much like the thing
either. I'm feeling nervous holding it out to him, knowing Jose or Ellen could
walk in at any moment to say they are leaving. I tuck it back in my bag.
"You can just think about it while you get better. Matt doesn't understand
how we are different. I get why you don't want it, it's their thing. But you
might decide it's useful someday."

"Do you
think Matt will decide to follow God?" he asks with concern lining his
young face.

"I really
hope so." I say with full sincerity. "I want him to be healed as much
as you do."

"You like
him, huh?"
Thomas asks, a little disappointed.

I don't know
what to say. I know Thomas has the whole puppy love thing going on. So I decide
on, "I like him almost as much as I like you." This seems to work and
Thomas is smiling again.

He says, "I
tried to tell him about God when we were together, but right when he started to
listen and ask me about it is when we got attacked."

Matt still has
never told me about what happened after he left here with Thomas. He doesn't
like to talk much about serious things. Especially serious things that make him
feel feelings he doesn't want to feel.

Jose is suddenly
there and he asks me to speak with him in the hallway. I can already tell
what's coming. I'm not to talk about sad or frightening things with Thomas.
Especially Matt.
I can do nothing but agree to follow their
rules. Even if I think it's a
lousy
 
way
to raise a kid. I think Thomas
deserves to know what's going on.

Ellen goes over
a few instructions for me as they are leaving. Thomas can have one Tylenol if
he starts to hurt more. He doesn't need his other medicine until tonight and
they plan to be back within two hours. After assuring Ellen that we'll be just
fine, I go back in and find Thomas and Rosa playing together. I show Thomas all
the cool toys we brought for him and help him open them. He lets Rosa strum the
guitar with him. He's most excited about the skateboard and can't wait to get
well enough to start "doing cool jumps and riding it down hills." I
bet you 2 pints of blood Jose and Ellen aren't going to let that happen.

I have had a lot
of firsts lately.
First love.
First
date.
First child, kind of.
Jose and Ellen have
only been gone 20 minutes when another first happens. For the first time in the
five years our community has been living here, the warning alarms start to
sound.