Inferno Anthology (204 page)

Mr. Jackson didn’t have difficulty distinguishing the tone or the meaning. He apologized profusely to Anthony and then to Claire and made his way out of the event. Claire felt ill. She honestly didn’t know how she would have handled it without his help. Tony placed his hand on top of Claire’s as Mr. Jackson walked away.

“Tony, I’m sorry I interrupted your conversation. I just felt uncomfortable.”

Leaning down to her ear and squeezing her hand, he whispered, “It’s fine. You made the right decision.”

She exhaled with relief.

HER CURRENT JOB
passed its three-month anniversary. She still felt trapped and hated that she was there, but she didn’t hate every day. She thought of each day as a new possibility, and like everyone else in the world, some days were better than others. She knew the difference with her life was that her barometer was not her. It summed up her dependence on Anthony Rawlings. The tone of her life depended totally and completely upon his frame of mind.

He traveled a few days a week every couple of weeks. While she was secluded to her suite, he’d been in Europe, which apparently happened with some regularity. These momentary
freedoms
upset her. Instead of relishing them, she felt lonely. There would be some evenings that he had business obligations and wouldn’t dine with her or even come to her suite. Some of his ideas for her job requirements didn’t settle well, but she came to prefer that to being alone.

June came and went. Since Claire chose to not watch television, she didn’t know that the entire country was enduring a heat wave. She just knew that the outside air was heavy and within minutes could feel the perspiration dripping between her breasts and down her back. If a breeze blew it felt sticky and oppressive, not refreshing. Even being at the pool was uncomfortable unless early or late.

One evening, Catherine told Claire that Mr. Rawlings wouldn’t be home until late. Claire didn’t like vague terms like
late
. Normally she would wait in her suite to see if he came to her, but the day was scorching, and she knew
late
could mean
not at all
. With the sunset, she decided to take a swim.

Walking to the pool, Claire realized she rarely ventured out of her suite at night. The house seemed eerily quiet, like a museum after closing. The staff were mostly retired to their rooms and the lights were low. Her flip-flops echoed as she stepped onto the marble floor at the base of the staircase. After four months, Claire didn’t need lights, she knew her way through the arches and into the sitting room. She paused at the windows and looked out to the pool. The water changed from pink, to green, to yellow, to purple, to blue, to clear, and back to pink. The deck lights were off, creating the illusion of a colorful abyss engulfed in complete darkness. She considered turning on the deck lights and decided against it.

Stepping into the summer night, the air sat heavy and still. The contrast from the air conditioning reminded her why she stayed indoors all day. Looking toward heaven she knew she made the right decision about the lights. The velvety sky glistened with a million stars. The water enveloped her body as she walked down the steps. Its temperature barely varied from the air and she quickly submerged herself. After swimming a few laps she floated on her back, watching the sky and thinking about constellations. Suddenly, Claire froze.

Deep in thought and enjoying the stars, she realized Tony was standing at the edge of the pool. He’d been speaking, but her ears were submerged, and she couldn’t hear him. Seeing his silhouette from the lights of the fountain startled her. She lifted her head out of the water to clear her ears and began to tread water.

“Tony, you startled me. Catherine said you wouldn’t be home until late.” She couldn’t see his eyes. She waited for him to respond. He stood in silence for a moment. As she debated about talking, he walked to a chair hidden in darkness. When he returned she could only see his silhouette, but knew he was now nude.

Still not speaking, Tony dove into the pool. He swam up to Claire and wrapped his arms around her. Within seconds, Claire’s bathing suit disappeared. His actions were fast and rough. Their mouths united as their tongues searched wildly for one another. He moved from her lips to the nape of her neck and all places in between. The pool depth allowed Tony to touch but not Claire. She wrapped her legs around his torso, allowing him to support her. He continued to nuzzle her neck, lifting her body so her round supple breasts found his lips. His kisses became nips, and he gently bit the tips of her hard nipples. Claire groaned with pleasure.

His hurried movements caused his bristled face to scratch her soft skin; however, the pain of his beard was quickly forgotten as the pleasure from his touch filled her consciousness. His mouth tantalized and his hands explored. Claire’s back arched as she pressed her breasts toward his mouth and wrapped her fingers in his wet hair. Though the night was hot, Claire’s arms and legs cloaked with goose bumps. In the silence of the country night, her moans echoed as her body convulsed.

Tony eventually led Claire out of the pool, onto a chaise lounge. He resumed his exploration; however, not with his hands. They still hadn’t spoken. Claire’s mind teetered between the cognizant
he doesn’t seem upset
and the unconscious
ecstasy
. His actions slowed, became more deliberate and sensual, causing sensations deep inside of her. She held on to his massive shoulders and accepted everything he had to offer.

The carnal heat intensified by the night’s humidity instigated perspiration. Claire tasted the amazing salty, sweat, and chlorine potion as her lips and tongue seduced his neck. When he finished they were both moist, more from one another than the pool.

Panting, they lay still, listening to the cicadas and crickets. Finally, with a grin, Tony spoke, “Good evening, Claire.” His eyes were soft suede brown. “I wasn’t happy when you weren’t in your suite.” Claire started to speak but stopped as Tony’s finger lightly touched her lips. “But your idea of a swim on this hot evening was much better than what I planned.”

Claire smiled. They moved back into the water to cool off but found that even in the water they had problems staying cool.

Later that night in Claire’s suite, Tony brought up the situation at the University of Iowa Children’s Hospital Event. He told her it hadn’t been a planned test; however, had it been, she would have passed. He believed she could be trusted with more responsibilities and independence. Therefore, on her table was a wallet containing her ID—her driver’s license, and a new credit card. The card was on his account and was for her use when he wasn’t around.

“What do you mean when you aren’t around?” Her voice didn’t hide her fear. Tony smiled at her trepidation.

“You’ll only leave the grounds without me, with Eric, and my permission, but I’ll need to travel to Europe for at least a week next month. You’ve behaved well.” He smiled and ran his hand over her bare thigh and buttocks. “Very well, and you’ve followed instructions much better than I would have given you credit for a few months ago.” His hands roamed; Claire’s eyes closed as her body responded. Tony’s voice was both masterful and playful. “As a matter of fact, I believe right now you would do as I say.”

Opening her eyes, she gazed into his, and answered, “I would.” Her voice yearned as her body mindlessly obeyed, responding to his touch.

“I think we should continue to test that theory,” he said with a devilish grin. “But first I believe you have earned the ability to do some shopping for yourself.”

Claire’s first thought was, she didn’t want to be by herself. What if someone like Mr. Jackson approached? But then again, wasn’t that what she’d wanted since she arrived, to be out, away, alone forever? She would need to file these thoughts, compartmentalize, and think about them tomorrow.

Tony was testing his theory. She needed to hear his every word. The directives for this test were proving playful and exciting. Claire knew she could pass.

Life is not what it’s supposed to be. It’s what it is.
The way you cope with it is what makes the difference.

—Virginia Satir

STANDING AT THE
rail of her balcony, Claire stared at the scene in front of her. The rays of moonlight illuminated the yard and tops of the trees, changing the familiar objects to unfamiliar colors. Under its brilliance, the trees appeared black and the grass silver. The multitude of stars glistened as she listened to the sounds of coyotes in the distance. This noise worried her. She thought about the smaller animals in the woods and hoped for their safety.

Although she hadn’t been outside long, the humid air caused her to perspire. She could feel her hair stick to her neck as droplets of sweat rolled down her back. Claire had received word: Mr. Rawlings wouldn’t be home until after 10:00 PM, and she would dine alone. This was the third night in a row. Last night, he hadn’t come to her suite at all. The night before, it’d only been for a few minutes to touch base. Apparently, things had been extremely busy.

The clock said 11:00 PM when she retreated to the balcony. She hadn’t seen him, or received a message, and wanted to do something—anything. Patience wasn’t a virtue she possessed in her old life. Now as she gazed at the countryside, she knew she was losing what little she’d recently been forced to acquire. She was thinking about how even the air smelled warm when the door behind her opened.

“Oh, hi, Tony, you startled me.”

“I thought perhaps I’d need to search for you again. Then I noticed the drapes.”

“I didn’t know if you were coming tonight.”

He indicated for her to come back inside. She complied. He shut the door. “You didn’t get my message?”

“I did. It’s just later than normal.” Seeing him in the light, she realized he looked tired and thought how he rarely appeared anything but ideal. Things must really be rough with work. She wanted to talk to him about it, but in the past, he didn’t, or wouldn’t, try to explain things.

“I came to let you know I’m flying to New York tomorrow. I have a business deal which apparently will fall apart if I don’t get personally involved.”

“How long will you be gone?”

“Damn it, Claire, I don’t know for sure.” He told her to come to him, and she did. He held her so close that she needed to look up to see his eyes. He lowered his face to her hair. With her head against his chest, she heard him sigh. “This has been a pain-in-the-ass deal. It’s been in the pipeline for years. The time alone has cost me millions what with research and analysis. Now it seems like everything is falling through.”

Claire didn’t know anything about the deal. She did know this was more than he’d disclosed to her at one time. She wanted to help, to make him feel better. She didn’t want to do anything because he
owned
her, but because she wanted to. As terrifying as Anthony Rawlings could be when he was strong and controlling, she didn’t like seeing him meek and worn down either. “Tony, is there anything I can do?”

He moved her away, to see her face. “Are you asking me? I don’t think that has happened before.”

She leaned back into his chest. “I want to help you relax before this big meeting.” She stood on her toes and kissed his cheek and neck as her hands unfastened his belt and slacks. She pulled his hand and led him to the bed, where he sat. Claire knelt in front of him, his hands held her face, and she moved toward him.

The entire night, Claire was in control. She did what she wanted, what she believed would help him. Her pace was slow and more thorough. Tony tended to move fast, rough, and hard. Claire moved steadily, softly, and completely. He’d told her exactly what he wanted and how he wanted it for over three months. She knew what he liked. The most surprising part to Claire was that he allowed it. He would sometimes grab her and push, deeper and harder. Then he would allow Claire to take over again.

Lying together in Claire’s bed, Tony surprised her again. “Thank you.” He rolled to face her. “Thank you for giving yourself. You keep me totally amazed.”