Infinite Jest (83 page)

But Marathe knew also that something within the real M. Hugh Steeply did need the
humiliations of his absurd field-personae, that the more grotesque or unconvincing
he seemed likely to be as a disguised persona the more nourished and actualized his
deep parts felt in the course of preparation for the humiliating attempt to portray;
he (Steeply) used the mortification he felt as a huge woman or pale Negro or palsied
twit of a degenerative musician as fuel for the assignments’ performance; Steeply
welcomed the subsumption of his dignity and self in the very
rôle
that offended his dignity of self… the psychomechanics became too confusing for Marathe,
who had not the capacity for abstractions of his A.F.R. superiors Fortier and Broullîme.
But he knew this was why Steeply was one of
Services sans Spécificité
’s finest field-operatives, once spending the better part of a year in magenta robes,
sleeping three hours nightly and allowing his large head to be shaved and teeth removed,
shaking a tambourine in airports and selling plastic flowers on median strips to infiltrate
a cult-fronted 3-amino-8-hydroxytetralin
¹⁶⁹
-import ring in the U.S.A. city Seattle.

Steeply said ‘Because this is the thing about the A.F.R. that really gives them the
fantods, if you’re talking about fear and what to fear.’ He spoke either quietly or
not, that Marathe could determine. The empty expanse they both faced off the shelf
sucked all resonance, causing every sound to sound self-enclosed and every utterance
to seem flatly soft and somehow overintimate, almost postcoital. The sounds of things
said beneath blankets, winter beating at the log walls. Steeply himself appeared frightened,
perhaps, or confused. He continued: ‘This disinterest, by you guys, it seems, in anything
but the harm itself. Just getting the Entertainment out there to hurt us.’

‘The naked aggression by us.’

Muscles beneath the nylons of the calves bulged and receded as Steeply bobbed. ‘The
boys in Behavioral Science say they can’t see any sort of positive political goal
the A.F.R. even wants. Anything DuPlessis was having your Fortier work toward.’

‘The U.S.A.
fantods
are meaning fear, confusion, standing hair.’

‘The F.L.Q. and Montcalmists—shit, even the most whacked out of Alberta’s ultra-rightists—’

M. DuPlessis had once studied beneath radical Edmonton Jesuits, Marathe reflected.

‘—them we can begin to understand, as political bodies. Them we can more or less get
a feel for dealing with.’

‘Their aggression is clothed in agenda, the Bureau of you perceives.’

Steeply’s was a thinking face now, in apparent puzzlement. ‘They at least have aims.
Real desires.’

‘For themselves.’

Steeply appeared convincingly to ruminate. ‘It’s like there’s a context for the whole
game, then, with them. We know where where we stand differs from where they stand.
There’s a sort of playing field of context.’

Causing the chair to squeak, Marathe again rotated two fingers of a hand in the air,
which for Québecers signifies impatience. ‘Rules of play. Rules of engagement.’ The
other hand was with the Sterling UL machine pistol beneath the blanket.

‘Even historically—the 60s bomb-tossers, the Spic Separatists, the Ragheads—’

‘Very charming. These are attractive terms.’

‘Ragheads, Colombians, Brazilians—they had positive objectives.’

‘Desires for self which you could understand.’

‘Even if the objectives were nothing more than things we could file, pin to the board
under “STATED OBJECTIVES”—the pathetic Spics. They wanted certain things. There was
a context. A compass for maneuvers against them.’

‘Your guardians of National Security could understand these positive desires of self-interest.
Look at them and “
relate
” as one says, at least. Knowing where you stand on the field of play.’

Steeply slowly nodded, as if to only himself. ‘There wasn’t just pure malice. There
was never the sense that here were some people who had just all of a sudden let the
air out of your tires for no reason.’

‘You allege we disperse our resources deflating automobile tires?’

‘A figure of speech. Or for example a serial killer. A sadist. Somebody who wants
you down just for the deviant sake of wanting you down. A deviant.’

Far south, a blinking system of tri-colored lights described a spiral over the airport’s
tower’s pulsing tip—this was a landing aircraft.

Steeply lit another cigarette off the butt of his previous and then tossed the butt,
peering over the shelf’s edge to watch its spiralled fall. Marathe was looking up
and right. Steeply said:

‘Because politics are one thing. Even way-out-far-in-the-distance fringe politics
are one thing. Your Fortier doesn’t seem to care much about Reconfiguration, territory,
redemisement, cartography, tariffs, Finlandization, O.N.A.N.ite Anschluss or toxic-waste
displacement.’

‘Experialism.’

Steeply said ‘Or so-called Experialism. Even Separatism. None of the other cells’
agendas seem to drive you people. Most of the Office sees it as just sheer malice
with you. No agenda or story.’

‘And for you there is something appalling.’

Steeply pursed his lips, as if trying to blow something off them. ‘But when there
are delineatable strategic political goals and objectives. When there’s some set of
ends we can make sense of the malice with. Then it’s just business.’

‘Nothing of persons.’ Marathe was looking up. Some of the stars seemed to flutter,
others to burn with more steadiness.

‘We know which end is up when it’s business. We’ve got a field and a compass.’ He
regarded Marathe directly in a way that was not accusing. ‘This seems personal,’ he
said.

Marathe could not think of descriptions for the way Steeply regarded him. Neither
was it sad nor inquisitive nor quite ruminative. There were small flickers and shadows
of movements around the flickers of the celebratory fire down far away on the floor
of the desert. Marathe could not determine whether Steeply was truly revealing emotions
about himself. The flickers continually went out. Small shreds of young laughter drifted
up to them in the vacuous silence. There were also sometimes rustles in the hillside’s
scrub, of gravel or small living nightly things. Or whether perhaps Steeply was trying
to give him something, let him know something and determine whether it went back to
M. Fortier. Marathe’s arrangement with the Office of Unspecified Services seemed most
often to consist in submitting himself to numerous tests and games of truth and betrayal.
He felt often with U.S.O.U.S. like a caged rodent being regarded blandly by bland
men in white coats.

Marathe shrugged. ‘U.S.A. has previously been hated. Richly so. Shining Path and your
Maxwell House company. The trans-Latin cocaine cartels and the poor late M. Kemp with
his exploding home. Did not both Iraq and Iran call U.S.A. the Very Large Satan? As
you hatefully say they have Heads of Rags?’

Steeply exhumed smoke quickly to reply. ‘Yes but there were still contexts and ends.
Revenue, religion, spheres of influence, Israel, petroleum, neo-Marxism, post-Cold-War
power-jockeying. There was always a third thing.’

‘Some desire.’

‘Some piece of business. Some third thing between them and us—it wasn’t just
us
—it was something they wanted from us, or wanted us out of.’ Steeply seemed earnestly
to say it. ‘The third thing, the goal or desire—it mediated the ill will, abstracted
it somehow.’

‘For this is how one who is sane proceeds,’ Marathe said, paying great concentration
to aligning the blanket’s hems against his chest and wheels; ‘some desire of self,
and efforts expending to meet that desire.’

‘Not just wanting negatives,’ Steeply said, shaking the lurid head. ‘Not just wanting
some other’s harm for no purpose.’

Marathe again found himself pretending to sniff with the congestion. ‘And a U.S.A.
purpose, desires?’ This he asked quietly; its sound was strange against stone.

Steeply was pinching yet a next particle of tobacco from his lipstick. He said ‘This
you can’t generalize on with most of us, since our whole system is founded on your
individual’s freedom to pursue his own individual desires.’ His mascara had now cooled
in the formations of its past running. Marathe kept silent and fussed with the blanket
as Steeply sometimes regarded him. A whole minute passed this way. Finally Steeply
said:

‘Me, for me personally, as an American, Rémy, if you’re really serious, I think it’s
probably your standard old basic American dreams and ideals. Freedom from tyranny,
from excessive want, fear, censorship of speech and thought.’ He was looking with
seriousness, even in this wig. ‘The old ones, tested by time. Relative plenty, meaningful
work, adequate leisure-time. The ones you might call corny.’ His smiling revealed
to Marathe lipstick upon one incisor. ‘We want choice. A sense of efficaciousness
and choice. To be loved by someone. To freely love who you happen to love. To be loved
irregardless of whether you can tell them Classified stuff about your job. To have
them just trust you and trust that you know what you’re doing. To feel valued. Not
to be agendalessly despised. To havie good neighborly relations. Cheap and abundant
energy. Pride in your work and family, and home.’ The lipstick had been smeared onto
the tooth when the finger had removed the grain of tobacco. He was ‘
faisait monter la pression
’:
¹⁷⁰
‘The little things. Access to transport. Good digestion. Work-saving appliances.
A wife who doesn’t mistake your job’s requirements for your own fetishes. Reliable
waste-removal and disposal. Sunsets over the Pacific. Shoes that don’t cut off circulation.
Frozen yogurt. A tall lemonade on a squeak-free porch swing.’

Marathe’s face, it showed nothing. ‘The loyalty of a domestic pet.’

Steeply pointed the cigarette. ‘There you go, friend.’

‘High-quality entertainment. High value for the dollar of leisure and spectation.’

Steeply laughed agreeably, exhaling a shaped sausage of smoke. In response to this,
Marathe smiled. There was some silence for thinking until Marathe finally said, looking
up and off to think: ‘This U.S.A. type of person and desires appears to me like almost
the classic, how do you say,
utilitaire
.’

‘A French appliance?’

‘Comme on dit,’ Marathe said, ‘
utilitarienne
. Maximize pleasure, minimize displeasure: result: what is good. This is the U.S.A.
of you.’

Steeply pronounced the U.S.A. English word for Marathe, then. Then a sustained pause.
Steeply rose and fell upon his toes. A bonfire of young persons was burning some k.
down away on the desert floor, the flames burning in a seeming ring instead of a sphere.

Marathe said ‘But yes, but precisely whose pleasure and whose pain, in this personality
type’s equation of what is good?’

When Steeply removed a particle of the cigarette from the lip he would then roll it
absently between his first finger and thumb; this did not appear womanly. ‘Come again?’

Marathe scratched inside the windbreaker. ‘I am wondering, me, in the equations of
this U.S.A. type: the best good is each individual U.S.A. person’s maximum pleasure?
or it is the maximum pleasure for all the people?’

Steeply nodded in a way that indicated willing patience with someone whose wits were
not too speedy. ‘But there you go, but this question itself shows how our different
types of national character part ways from each other, Rémy. The American genius,
our good fortune is that someplace along the line back there in American history them
realizing that each American seeking to pursue his maximum good results together in
maximizing
everyone’s
good.’

‘Ah.’

‘We learn this as early as grade school, as kids.’

‘I am seeing.’

‘This is what lets us steer free of oppression and tyranny. Even your Greekly democratic
howling-mob-type tyranny. The United States: a community of sacred individuals which
reveres the sacredness of the individual choice. The individual’s right to pursue
his own vision of the best ratio of pleasure to pain: utterly sacrosanct. Defended
with teeth and bared claws all through our history.’

‘Bien sûr.’

Steeply for the first time seemed to be feeling with his hand his wig’s disorder.
He was attempting to straightly reposition it without removing the wig. Marathe tried
not to envision what his B.S.S. had done to the natural brown male hair of Steeply,
to accommodate the complex wig. Steeply said: ‘It might be hard for you to quite understand
what’s so precious about this for us, from across this chasm of different values that
separates our peoples.’

Marathe flexed his hand. ‘Perhaps because it is so general and abstracted. In practice,
however, you may force me to understand.’

‘We don’t force. It’s exactly about
not
-forcing, our history’s genius. You are entitled to your values of maximum pleasure.
So long as you don’t fuck with mine. Are you seeing?’

‘Perhaps help me see by practical evidence. An instance. Suppose you are able at one
moment to increase your own pleasure, but the cost of this is the displeasuring pain
of another? Another sacred individual’s displeasing pain.’

Steeply said: ‘Well now this is precisely what gives us the fantods about the A.F.R.,
why it’s so important I think to remember how we come from different cultures and
value systems, Rémy. Because in our U.S. value system, anybody who derives an increase
in pleasure from somebody else’s pain is a deviant, a sadistic sicko, and is thereby
excluded from the community of everybody’s right to pursue their own best pleasure-to-pain
ratio. Sickos deserve compassion and the best treatment feasible. But they’re not
part of the big picture.’

Marathe willed himself not to rise on his stumps again. ‘No, but not another’s pain
as a pleasurable end in itself. I did not mean where my pleasure is in your pain.
How to say better. Imagine there arises a situation in which your deprivation or pain
is merely the consequence, the price, of my own pleasure.’