Infinity (11 page)

“Allie.” John smiled then and looked up at me. “Very, very old and still sitting on the Rose Throne, the most beloved and celebrated Golden Rose that Nerissette has ever seen. The people in the throne room are celebrating because she’s brought our country a hundred years of peace. I see you very old and very happy, and it’s the most beautiful thing.”

“I-I-I…” I stammered as Winston reached over to grab my hand, lacing our fingers together. I had seen myself as a monster, and my father had seen me as a savior. Whose version of queen would I end up being? I hoped that somehow my father’s vision was right and mine was wrong, that I would be the queen my people deserved.

“That sounds like a fate worth fighting for,” Winston said as John pulled his gaze away from the ball and handed it back to Winston.

“It does.” I squeezed Winston’s fingers. “As long as we’re doing it together.”

“Always,” he mouthed.

I looked over to see my father staring at us, his lips quirked up in a smile. “I did not see you in my vision.” John waved a finger at Winston’s nose. “It may be because I killed you, but I’m not sure yet.”

“Nah.” Winston smiled. “I was probably just going for punch or something. No worries.”

“I’d worry less if I’d shot you the first time I saw you,” John muttered.

I narrowed my eyes at him. “Be nice.”

“I am nice.” My father held his hands out to his sides. “I didn’t even bring a bow with me. I left it with the horses instead.”

“The horses?” I asked, my stomach clenching.

“Yes.” He nodded slowly. “The men and the beasts are ready, Allie. It’s time.”

“Well, then.” I swallowed. “After you, I guess.”

Chapter Fourteen

I followed my father and Winston down the stairs from the West Tower, bypassing the portal stones that would take me directly outside so that I could stall for time and get my head together. We reached the main hallway, and Winston glanced back and offered me his hand.

“Are you ready?”

“No.” I took his hand in mine and squeezed it. “But we have to go anyway. Don’t we?”

“Yeah.” He nodded, and then we started down one of the halls. I remembered my first time there, hopelessly lost and trying to figure out how to get around. Everything had looked the same then. The same walls, the same carpets, but now, knowing the palace like I did, I knew it wasn’t the same anymore.

The hallway beneath the West Tower was filled with portraits of mythological creatures, and the corridor closest to the main entry hall full of family portraits of various Golden Roses and their successors. My favorite was one that showed the grandmother I’d never met fitting a tiara on my mother’s head as they both stared in the mirror that had once been in my tower.

My mother had looked so indescribably lovely that every time I saw it I wanted to cry. I couldn’t meet her eyes in the portrait because all I could think was that she looked so young and alive that it hurt to know how it would all end.

This palace should have been my home from the start. It
was
my home. More than any other place that Mom and I had floated through, this was my home, the one place where I belonged. I was terrified to walk away again. What if we never came back?

I trailed my fingers along the banister of the grand staircase and thought about the night of my first ball. I had been dressed in a formal gown, nervous that I was going to fall down the stairs and make a fool of myself. I’d been gripping the banister so tightly that the raised part of the wood had made an impression in my hand. At the bottom of the stairs had been a different boy than the one walking in front of me.

Jesse.
I swallowed. He’d looked amazing standing at the bottom of the stairs, waiting like a fairy-tale prince as I came down the stairs to meet him. He’d been dressed in a white-and-gold jacket, and he’d been gorgeous. So handsome I’d thought I wouldn’t be able to breathe even though he’d never been my type before that.

Then, suddenly, there’d been Winston, dressed all in black, his dark skin gleaming and his eyes bright. Jesse’s sunny features had been shrouded in Winston’s otherworldly beauty. It was like everything had finally clicked into place in that moment, and all I had been able to think was,
Oh, there you are
.

“Allie?” Winston interrupted my thoughts, and I looked up and realized that I’d been standing halfway down the stairs, running my fingertips over the banister, lost in my own head.

“Sorry, I was just thinking about the night of our first ball. We met at the stairs that night, right there.” I pointed at the spot where the two of us had stood.

“I remember,” he whispered, coming over to wrap an arm around my shoulders and lead me down the stairs. “You were the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

John cleared his throat, and I could see that he was doing his best not to glare.

“I don’t want to go,” I whispered.

“Neither do I.” Winston let go of my shoulders and grabbed my hand, pulling me close.

“This is our home,” I said.

“I know, and that’s why we’re going to finish this war, and then we’re coming back here—me and you and everyone else. We’re going to come back here, and this is going to be our home forever.”

“Can you promise me that?”

“I promise, it will be just like John saw in the Orb of Fate. We’ll get old, and you’ll be Nerissette’s most beloved queen. They’ll tell stories about us, about
you
, one day. Stories about a wise and beautiful queen who fell through a book and saved the world. It’ll be a fairy tale.”

“Just so you know, I hate fairy tales. I always have. Even before Mr. Brinnegar made us start researching them for that group project. They’re totally unreasonable, and they lead to nothing but trouble. Fairy tales are nothing more than something to get girls to sit around pretending to be a princess while they wait for a man to save them.”

“Well, it’s a good thing that this fairy tale involves a self-saving princess then, isn’t it? I’d hate for you to be repressed in your own story.”

“This isn’t a fairy tale. If this were a fairy tale, then I’d have fallen in love with the handsome prince, not with the dragon.”

“Then I guess that it’s a good thing that you’ve decided this isn’t one of those stupid, completely sexist fairy tales.” Winston brushed his nose against mine. “Because I’d hate to have to start roasting princes to keep them away from my girl.”

“
Ahem
.” John coughed. I jerked back from Winston, surprised that I’d forgotten my father was still standing there and even more surprised that Winston had forgotten, too. “Not that this isn’t fascinating, but we do have a war to be getting on with.”

“Right. Let’s do this.” I straightened my shoulders and lifted my chin, trying to at least look like I was sure of myself even if I wasn’t.

Winston and John both stepped forward, reaching for the door handles, and began to pull on the heavy double doors. Once they were open all the way, I took a deep breath and stepped forward. I let my eyes travel over the seething mass of humans and mythic creatures standing in formation in front of my palace.

“Her Majesty Queen Alicia Wilhemina Munroe the First!” Kilvari roared and then banged his staff against the stone stairs. “Golden Rose of Nerissette, Divine Protector of the Pleiades, and Blessed of All the Light Touches!”

He dropped to one knee in front of me, and the soldiers behind him followed suit, the entire field dropping three feet in height as the sound of thousands of knees all hitting the ground at the same time echoed through the front garden like a gunshot. I looked out over the mass of people in front of me, their heads all bowed and their eyes focused on the dirt, and then shifted my gaze back to the dragons, who also had their heads bent low. Goblins and nymphs had both bowed, too, the latter with their hands pressed in front of them as if in prayer. The remaining seven Firas were on both knees, their long robes puddling about their legs as they lowered their heads to the ground in front of me.

“I—”

I heard a cough and turned to see my father and Winston both on down on one knee beside the patio. Behind them I could see Mercedes and Kitsuna on their knees as well, gripping each other’s hands tightly.

“Thank you,” I said quietly, humbled as I stared at all the people who had come forward, willing to fight for me.
For our home.

“Thank you!” I yelled this time. “Thank you all.”

Winston lifted his head and winked at me before smiling and lowering his head again. Crap, I needed to say something besides
thank you
. I needed to say something inspiring or moving or something not stupid sounding at the very least.

“We’re leaving today to cross the White Mountains,” I said, immediately feeling dumb. This wasn’t at all inspiring. “We’re going to cross the mountains and enter Bavasama’s kingdom. I don’t know what we’re going to find there. There could be armies that stretch as far as the eye can see. There could be monsters. None of us can know what we’ll face when we get to the other side of those mountains.”

I stopped and looked over at Mercedes who was staring back at me. I took another deep, steadying breath and turned back to the crowd.

“We may not all come home. Maybe none of us will come home, but you should all know this: when the fighting is over, no enemy will cross our borders again. We are not going to be bullied. This is our home, and we will defend it and each other. We are a family, and no one kicks the crap out of this family. Not if they want to live to see the sun rise again.”

The soldiers in front of me stood almost as one and bayed in approval, rattling their swords and stomping their feet. The dragons roared, and I watched as the courtyard exploded in a brilliant riot of sounds.

“So.” I turned to look at Mercedes, remembering the first time we’d been in this position. Stuck on a roof, watching an army mass outside our walls. We’d listened to Rhys giving the army a pep talk, psyching them up to fight, and I’d asked Mercedes if it would inspire her to fight for him.

“So?” She looked at me.

“How did I do? Did I inspire you to fight for me?”

“No.” She shook her head. “Only an idiot is willing to die for pretty words.”

“So why are you? Fighting, I mean?”

“Because you’re right.” She nodded to the soldiers in front of us who were starting to quiet down. “We’re a family, and no one kicks the crap out of your family but you.”

“Precisely,” Rhys said as he bowed low before me. “The army is ready to move at your command.”

“Good. That’s…” I swallowed as I stared out at the seething mass of warriors, all prepared to do battle in my name.

“Allie?”

I turned to look at Winston.

“It’s time.”

“Right, um, do you intend to shift? Here, I mean? Or are you going to the aerie to shift and then come back?”

“I’ll shift here,” he said and then stepped into a cleared spot in the middle of the porch. A black light surrounded him, and I watched as the boy I loved shifted and grew, twisting inside the flames as he moved from human to dragon, stretching and changing as the flames flickered around him.

I kept my eyes on his as his face elongated and his eyes narrowed, turning to dark golden slits inside a midnight-colored face. He didn’t blink, just kept staring until the flames died away and he stood there in full dragon form.

Rhys folded low and then backed down the stairs toward the army. “Men!” he called out. “Prepare to march.”

There was a sharp
crack
as all the soldiers clicked their heels together simultaneously, and I watched as they began to form two long lines.

There was a creak, and then I heard the sound of horses stamping and snorting. The supply wagons began to roll toward the gates, Woodsmen with bows on their backs surrounding the wagons. Two other dragons stepped forward, and my best friends scurried down the stairs to scramble onto their backs. Winston lowered his head enough for me to climb onto his back. I moved to grab his spikes to pull myself up when I felt tight hands grip my waist.

“I can—” I turned my head to see my father behind me, lifting me up so that I could climb onto my Crown Prince’s back.

“Be careful up there. It’s a long fall if you slip,” he said quietly, not meeting my eyes.

“I know.” I remembered the first battle of the Crystal Palace and what it had felt like to tumble off the back of a dragon. I swallowed and tried not to let my hands shake as they gripped Winston’s neck.

“Be careful,” John repeated.

“You, too.” I wanted to reach out and hug him, but I didn’t know how that would be taken. We didn’t really have much of a father-daughter relationship going, and besides that, John didn’t seem like he was much of a hugger unless I was in mortal danger. Maybe it was better if we didn’t touch at all.

“Here.” He pulled the combs he’d given me earlier out of his pouch and tucked them into my hair, just above the band of my crown. “Your maid gave them to me.”

“I didn’t want to risk losing them. If we get into a battle, I mean.”

“And I don’t want to risk losing you,” he said, holding my gaze. “You may be the Golden Rose of Nerissette, but you’re also a daughter of the Leavenwald, and our magic may help protect you when the magic of the Pleiades fails.”

He stepped away, and I watched as he swallowed, letting his eyes travel down the length of Winston’s side. “All right, then.” He started to step away, his eyes still trained on me.

I felt my chest clench, and I flung a hand out on instinct. “John?”

He sprinted the three steps toward me, and I leaned down to wrap my arms around his neck, squeezing. “Be safe, daughter of mine.”

“I will,” I said with a nod against him.

Then he whispered in my ear. “I love you, sweetheart.”

“I…” I stared at him. What was I supposed to say? To do? We barely knew each other, but he was my father and he could die. Should I say I loved him, though just in case?

“It’s okay.” John smiled at me and then pulled back. He smacked Winston on the flank. “I’m even rather fond of you, Lizard Boy. Don’t do anything stupid, though, and make me regret admitting that.”

I smiled at my father before turning back to my army, now standing at attention and watching the three of us. Right. Time to quit having a family reunion and get back to what we’d been doing.

I pulled my sword out of its scabbard and lifted it. “People of Nerissette, allies, friends.” I swallowed. “To war!”

“To war!” The army bellowed back at me loud enough that I could hear the palace’s few remaining windows shake. The dragons roared again in agreement, and I felt Winston’s muscles tense a moment before he launched himself into the air.