Infinity & Always (10 page)

“Well
then babe, this calls for Nickleback and Jack. Last one dressed is a
rotten egg.”

He
pushes me off the float into the pool and swims to the edge.
Laughing, he helps me out. He gets a punch on the arm as I walk over
to grab a towel. Roger is still snickering while I dry off.

“So
are we getting take out or going out?” He asks.

“I
guess take out if you don’t mind, I don’t feel like going
anywhere.”

Roger
orders the food while I get dressed. I can hear Nickleback playing
and walk into the kitchen to a find him with shots of Jack lined up
on the counter.

“Oh
no, Roger, I haven’t had a shot in a year,” I complain.

“I
don’t give a shit, neither have I.”

He
holds out the glass and I take it, and counting to three we throw
them back. We have three shots each before dinner arrives and I can
honestly say, I cannot drink like I used too.

“So
tell me, are you and special ops getting divorced, for real?”

“What
is with all the name calling?” I laugh at him, taking another
drink.

He
shrugs his shoulders. “Just playing with you, I can tell you
still love him.”

“I
never stopped, Roger, things have just gotten complicated.”

“Tell
me about it Bails, you are walking complicated, but a sexy one.”

I
frown at him and he cracks up laughing at me. “Aw babe come on,
you’ve always been that way, but it’s what makes us all
love you.”

“Yeah,
I know. Fuck it, I’m complicated, and I don’t care who
likes it!” I shout out waving my arms in the air. Roger and I
are laughing and messing around on the floor.

“Well,
you’ve finally admitted it.”

Looking
up, I find my mom and Thomas watching us. Roger throws me over onto
the floor and lies across me.

“Hey
Mom,” I barely breathe out.

“Have
fun kids.”

“Uh,
get off me you’re heavy.”

Roger
rolls off me and lies beside me on the floor. “I’m
stuffed Bails.”

“Me
too and my head is spinning. I haven’t drunk this much in a
long time.”

I
giggle setting him off too, both of us laugh for a while until I
sigh. Taking Roger’s hand in mine I give it a squeeze.

“Thanks
for being here.”

“Anytime
babe, you know you just have to pick up the phone and I’ll be
here.”

My
mouth moves before I can stop it. I tell him about the texts and the
Facebook profile and how Knox changed his phone number and didn’t
tell me. Roger turns to look at me with disbelief.

“Really,
he changed his number and didn’t tell you?”

I
nod in response. He whistles, then sits up while pulling me with him.

“Come
on Bails, it’s time to get back out into the world.”

He
drags me to my feet and into the office. He sits down turning on the
computer and pulling up Facebook.

“No
Roger, I already looked on his page, it’s full of skanks.”

“I’m
not going on his,” he announces, telling me to pull up a chair.

I
watch him sign into my account. I frown. I forgot he knew my login
and password. “Wow Bails, you have 500 messages and thousands
of notifications.”

“It’s
been three years, Roger, I didn’t think people still saw it.”

I
tell him to delete the notifications and the emails, but first he
skims through them. They are from people I went to school with
talking about the case against Ben and making stupid comments about
it. Roger pulls up Knox’s profile and looks through it, then
sends him a friend request from me.

“Roger
no! What the hell.”

“What?
Fuck it. If he wants to be on it, so can you. Besides, look he only
has 49 friends; you have 1,276.”

“I
don’t even know that many people Roger.”

He
laughs clicking through my pictures and sends me to the kitchen for
the Jack. I bring a drink each while we look through my pictures, all
of them are of Summer and I. Roger grabs his phone and we pose with
our drinks.

“New
profile pic,” he laughs and tags himself in it. “Hanging
with my babe.”

“Roger,
this is silly.”

He
gives me a look then searches for Max, and Paige, adding them too,
and his wife, and his mom.

“Jesus
Roger, your mom is on this?”

“Yeah,
just to see pictures of Audrey’s baby bump.”

The
computer beeps and he laughs, “Max accepted your request,”
his phone rings, pulling it out he answers, “Hey wifey.”

I
laugh at him and he pushes my face away with his hand. He tells
Audrey we are having fun and yes it’s him on my page. I tune
out while talks to her and I pull up the team’s page, flicking
through the pictures and commenting on Becky’s and Abbey’s.

Roger
hangs up with Audrey and smiles at me. “She was making sure it
was you and that I’m keeping you safe.”

“Tell
her I said thanks.”

“Did
he respond?” he questions, looking back at the computer.

“Nope,
just Max and now Audrey.”

My
mom walks into the office handing me my phone, “Thanks, Mom.”

“Hello?”

“Sis,
I just got a request on Facebook.”

“Yes,
it was us, Max. Roger decided to activate my account again.”

“Oh
okay, Roger? What are doing in Florida?”

“I’m
not, I’m in Grove.”

“You
sound drunk, Bailey.”

“Yep,
we are,” I laugh.

Max
says goodbye because he is working and I hang up.

Roger
and I leave the office and head up to bed to watch a movie. I get
through a few minutes and feel my eyes getting heavier. Lying down I
say goodnight and close my eyes.

After
a weekend of hanging out with Mom, Thomas, and Roger, Monday is here.
Sitting at the table I stir my spoon around the bowl, not even able
to stomach anything right now.

“Try
not to worry, baby,” Mom says, putting a coffee down for me and
taking my bowl away.

“I
know,” I sigh. But not worrying is hard. I am praying with all
that I have that justice is served today, but who knows what’s
going to happen.

“It’s
time to leave, Bailey.”

Lifting
my head, I see Mom waiting for me by the door. Standing up, I walk
out to the car with her. My nerves are shot, and I don’t know
what to expect. We walk into the courthouse and follow the corridor
towards the back. I notice a few familiar faces standing around; some
people from school, Meg from café Rouge, Roger and his
parents, my cousin Cara, and even my uncle.

Cara
hugs me when I get closer to them. “How you holding up?”

“I’m
okay, I think.”

She
nods and gives me a sympathetic smile. Roger and his family hug me
too and all stand around me, protecting me from all the people
around. Roger grabs my shaking hand and holds it tight. We wait for
what feels like hours and then Rachel appears, she smiles at me and
asks if I’m okay.

“Yeah,
thanks.”

“Shouldn’t
be too much longer now,” she announces.

We
all turn when we hear heels stomping down the corridor. Emily and her
parents arrive, each of them looking like they want to kill me.
Rachel takes my arm and leads me into the courtroom. Taking a seat at
the prosecutor’s side of the courtroom, we leave everyone else
to find seats behind us. I can barely think straight, then the side
door opens and he walks in, his eyes find mine and I can see the
anger in them.

We
all stand for the judge, then take a seat after he does. “Good
morning,” he says.

“Today
we will hear the verdict in the case of the state of California –V-
Miler. Let me add to the record that further testimony from Bailey
Mortenson was recorded into evidence and both the defense and
prosecution have had a chance to hear said evidence.”

The
judge waits a few seconds before asking the bailiff to bring in the
jury. I watch them all take a seat.

“Have
you reached a verdict?” Judge Abraham asks.

“Yes
your Honor, we have.”

The
bailiff takes the piece of paper to the judge; he reads it and sends
it back. I can feel tears sting my eyes, but I can’t move; I’m
rooted to the chair. Once the bailiff hands the paper back to the
jury lady, she opens it and clears her throat.

My
heart pounds like a jackhammer and my throat is dry, even though I
can feel tears brewing. Rachel turns to me and nods. The judge has
asked Ben to stand up and he does but looks at me first. All I can
see is anger and hate on his face.

“We
the jury,” she says. My hands are shaking so badly right now
and I think I’m going to vomit. “Find the defendant, Ben
Miler, guilty on the charge of harassment.” Rachel grips my
hand. “We the jury, find the defendant, Ben Miler, guilty, on
the charge of menacing phone calls.” I take a deep breath and
wait for the last charge, clutching Rachel’s hand in mine. “We
the jury, find the defendant, Ben Miler, guilty of attempted murder
in the second degree.”

The
courtroom erupts in shouting and cheering. The judge bangs the gavel,
but no one listens. My body gives out and I land face first on the
desk. I can feel tears burn my cheeks and I close my eyes.

“You
fucking cunt!” Emily screams from across the courtroom.

The
judge gets annoyed and bangs the gavel until everyone shuts up. Once
order is restored, he tells Ben to stand.

“Ben
Miler, you have been found guilty of all charges and I hereby
sentence you to twenty years in state prison without the possibility
of parole.” He bangs his gavel again and the bailiff handcuffs
Ben, taking him out the side door.

“Baby!”
Mom cries and grabs me. Thomas wraps his arms around both of us as he
sheds some tears too. Pulling back, I wipe my face. Roger hugs me
then lets me go. The Milers have already left the room and I’m
thankful for that. I don’t want to run into them. I follow
behind Mom and Thomas keeping my head down. My arm is grabbed from
the side and I jump with fright, looking up I’m met with
blazing green eyes.

“Darlin’.”

Fresh
tears fall and I throw myself into his arms. Knox holds me for a long
time while I cry on his shoulder. I’m moving, my feet are
taking one step at a time, but I refuse to look up. Knox grips me
tight as we maneuver around the people and out to the car. Climbing
inside I scoot over so he can get in beside me. Mom takes off,
driving faster than she ever has before.

When
we get home I notice Thomas and the Burke’s are here, everyone
is in the kitchen drinking coffee and talking about the longest
twenty minutes of my life. Taking a seat at the table I watch
everyone talk back and forth. Knox stands by the door looking out of
place. Mom starts pulling out food to feed the group.

“I’m
going to get changed,” I tell her, before going to my room.

It’s
finally over, after all these years it’s over. I lie down on my
bed and cover my face with my arm, hot tears fall again, but I’m
not sad. I’m more relieved that he got what he deserved. I feel
the bed dip and can smell Knox’s cologne. He rests his hand on
my hip, rubbing his thumb across my ribs.

“How
are you?” he asks.

I
can’t answer so I nod. I have too many emotions racing through
me right now, and seeing him here has added to the pile.

“I’m
not doing this anymore, darlin’.”

Biting
my lip hard, I nod again. I don’t want to see him. I don’t
want to remember his face on the day he walks away. It’s my own
fault; Mom was right, I do swing first. My emotional battering ram is
always front and center, ready to take down anyone that threatens to
hurt my heart. And now, the last piece of the puzzle has finally
fallen, taking his beautiful heart and walking away.

“I’m
sorry about the phone,” I whisper. “I was scared and
jealous.”

I
listen to him breathing, still refusing to look at him. His hand
leaves my waist and I feel the chill immediately. Taking my leg in
his hands he pulls off my heel, then the other one. Pulling my knees
up I roll onto my side, staring out of the window. Knox lets out a
deep sigh before climbing in behind me.

“I
said I’m not doing this anymore, Bailey. I’m not letting
you go off the deep end, then hide away and get lost in that mess,”
he says, tapping my head gently. “Talk to me, darlin’,
tell me for once what you’re feeling.”

He
pulls me close, wrapping his arm around my waist and he waits. I
don’t even know where to start, how can I explain something I
have no explanation for. We lie on the bed for a while before he
prompts me again.

“Now
darlin’, I can’t wait forever. Start with the phone
stuff.”

Although
his voice is low, I know he is angry, I can hear it in the tone.
Swallowing hard, I’m not ready. It’s hard admitting how
ashamed of yourself you feel.

“I’m
sorry, I got jealous and scared and I attacked you before you could
hurt me,” I whisper.

“Scared
of what?”

“Losing
you, finally, of you leaving me for some chick who sends naked
pictures of herself.”

Tears
fall, but I ignore them; maybe it will be better if we clear the air.
Then at least if I see him on the street, I can hope he won’t
hate me. He sighs again and I feel the heat of his breath on my neck,
closing my eyes I savor it.

“Darlin’
turn around, I’m not going to talk to the back of your head.”

Turning,
I finally look at him. He is the most handsome guy I have ever laid
eyes on and he was mine, for three whole years. He brushes his thumb
below my eyes wiping my tears away and his hand feels warm against my
cheek.

“Do
you remember what I said to you on the beach?”

He
asks while his eyes are looking all over my face, taking his last
look.

“Yes,
every word,” I answer. He quirks an eyebrow as he waits for me
to continue.