Infinity Lost (8 page)

“You’re still gonna get in trouble, though, aren’t you?”

Carlo crinkles his nose. “Nah, what for? That was years ago, and you and me are still best friends. Dad already knows what I did. Even if he
did
find out for the first time today, it wouldn’t make any difference. My parents don’t punish me at all since the divorce, so I can pretty much get away with anything,” Carlo says with a mischievous grin.

“Jonah promised not to punish me, but I bet he’ll find a way. I shouldn’t have told him anything.”

“I’ll tell you what . . .” Carlo leans down and gathers up a handful of stones. “From now on we’ll call this our . . . Pool of Secrets. Here.” He drops half the pebbles into my hand. “We’ll tell each other our secrets, and for each one we tell, we’ll throw a stone into the pond. They’ll sink to the bottom and that’s where they’ll stay, forever.”

I can’t help but think how romantic the idea is.

“I’ll go first.” Carlo holds up a pebble between his fingers. “My dad tells everyone that he doesn’t drink, but I know where he hides his tequila.” He throws the pebble out into the middle of the pond and it disappears with a plop. “Your turn,” he says with a smile.

I hold up a pebble. “When I was five, I set fire to the east wing kitchen.” I throw the pebble into the pond.

“I heard about that! It was a big fire. That was you?” exclaims Carlo.

“Yeah, I was trying to make pancakes for Jonah’s birthday. I think he knows it was me, but he never said anything.”

“Wow. Actually, when I think about it, I should have guessed that it was you.”

I smile and slap him hard on the shoulder.

Carlo picks another pebble from his palm. “I think I can beat that. I took my mom’s car and drove it around the block one night when she was out on a date. I ran over Mr. Bailey’s letterbox.”

I smile, genuinely impressed. “Cool. It doesn’t quite beat the fire, though.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Carlo says, arcing the pebble out into the water. “How about this, then? One time I hit this girl with a stick and broke her arm.” He smiles, looking at me from the corner of his eye and nudging me with his elbow.

“That’s not a secret to anyone anymore,” I say, half-laughing. Carlo grins back at me.

I find the biggest pebble in my hand and toss it into the pond.

“What was that one for?” asks Carlo.

I watch as the ripples spread out wider and wider until they reach the shore and disappear. “I’ve never been off the grounds of Blackstone Manor,” I say with a sigh.

Carlo turns to me. “Really?”

I nod my head.

“You mean you’ve never been
anywhere
else? Not even to school?”

“Nope. Jonah homeschools me. He said I’m already so far ahead of other kids my age that school would be a step backward.” I look away sadly into the shimmering water.

“Wow. I can’t believe that I never knew that about you.”

I look back at Carlo and try to force a smile, but I can’t hide my sadness. Especially from him.

He smiles sympathetically. “Well, I think you’re lucky, Finn. I don’t know many kids that actually
want
to go to school.”

“I want to more than anything. I’m sick of being around grownups all the time. I want to be around kids my own age. You’re the only other kid I know!” I throw another stone into the water hard enough to skip it twice before it sinks. “I feel like I’m missing out on so many things. Sometimes it feels like the world is being kept away from me.”

Carlo looks up at the huge willow branches overhanging the pond. “You’re the smartest girl I know, Finn. Way smart enough to figure out how to get Jonah to send you to school. I mean, if that’s what you really want.”

I look over at Carlo. His thick black hair falling across his forehead, his emerald-green eyes, a smudge of dirt across the olive skin of his cheek. He really is very cute. It’s not the first time I’ve thought so, but it is the first time that I realize that no one knows me better than the fourteen-year-old boy sitting beside me.

I look back at the pond and throw another pebble into the water. “You’re the only real friend I have, Carlo.”

He screws up his nose. “That’s not true. What about Jonah? What about Beauty?”

“Ha! Jonah totally doesn’t count, and Beauty is a horse!” I say, playfully punching him on the shoulder.

“Well . . .” Carlo says, flicking a pebble toward the pond. “You’re the coolest girl I know. You could probably do anything.”

“Thanks,” I say sheepishly.

“You’re also the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen. Especially when you smile like that.”

I feel my cheeks flush red. I pick a larger rock out of the dirt and drop it into the pond, splashing him with droplets of water.

“Hey!” Carlo almost falls backward off the log. “You must have a really big secret for a rock like that!”

“Not a big secret. A big . . . question.” I feel a bundle of nerves spark into life in the pit of my stomach. “Carlo. Have you ever . . . kissed a girl?”

He looks at me; his big emerald eyes go from my eyes, to my lips, and back again. “You mean
really
kiss?” he asks, his voice cracking slightly.

I nod.

He slowly shakes his head. I feel my heart beating in my chest like a drum. I swallow hard and will the words to come out.

“Do you think you would ever want to . . . kiss . . . me?” My stomach backflips with excitement just from asking.

His eyes are wide and his face is suddenly so serious. He bites his bottom lip and the tip of his tongue slowly peeks out between them, moistening them ever so slightly. Slowly, he nods.

I gingerly shuffle closer to him, my gaze fixed on his, my heart pounding. I hear the sound of the pebbles he’s holding drop from his fingers and softly hit the ground. He wipes the dirt off his palm on the side of his shorts and gently takes my hand. We stare at each other for a moment, my breathing heavier than usual; my heart’s beating now like it’s trying to escape from my chest. An intense rush of adrenaline surges through my body as he slowly leans in. Time seems to slow to a crawl. The songs of the birds in the trees around us fade away into the distance. I feel my heartbeat in my ears. The closer he gets, the more aware I become of the heat of his skin. The dappled light of the afternoon sun reflects off the pond and dances across his face. He closes his eyes, gently presses his lips to mine, and, for an instant . . . the whole world disappears.

I close my eyes and drink in the sensation of my first kiss, how soft and warm his lips are, how giddy and strangely weak I feel, how tightly I grip his hand, how perfect this moment is. It lasts only for a few short, beautiful seconds, and when our lips part we look into each other’s eyes, wondering if what just happened really happened. I look down and see our fingers entwined. Carlo smiles and so do I. It feels like we’re the only two people left on earth.

“There you two are.”

The voice from the top of the hill behind us breaks the spell like an electric shock. Carlo’s dad has found us. Our hands shoot back to our sides. Did he see us kiss? My stomach twists into a knot. I feel like we’ve just been caught red-handed in the middle of the crime of the century.

We both look up and see Mr. Delgado standing there with his hands on his hips. “When you two have a minute, Major Brogan would like to see you both up at the main house. If I were you, I wouldn’t keep him waiting.” He turns and disappears back into the forest.

Carlo takes a deep breath. “If you ever go to school and you’re told to go to the principal’s office, it feels a lot like this,” he says, swallowing hard and trying to force a smile. “I guess we’d better go, Finn.”

I jump on the back of the quad bike and Carlo drives. He doesn’t hurry. All the way back to the house I hold on to him, my arms tight around his waist. Even though we’re both in trouble and heading for punishment, I can’t help feeling so deliriously happy.

Carlo steers the bike along the path, across the grass verge, and up onto the circular driveway. I see Jonah in the distance, standing on the front steps of the main house with his arms folded, talking to Carlo’s dad, who’s sitting on a quad of his own. Surprisingly, instead of his usual suit and tie, Jonah is wearing his military fatigues, complete with black beret and spit-shined, black combat boots. Everyone, including me, knows that Jonah was a major in the army, but I’ve known him my whole life and I’ve never actually seen him in uniform, or ever really thought of him as a soldier. Not even with all the gun training we’ve done together.

I’m not afraid of Jonah, I never have been, and I’ve never had a reason to be. He’s my teacher, my mentor, role model, and friend, and also my hero. But right now, as we get closer and I see him in that uniform, standing like a stone statue on the front steps, I can’t help but feel a creeping sense of dread.

Carlo stops the bike a few feet away from the steps and cuts the engine. We both climb off and slowly walk to where Jonah is standing. With our heads hung low, we trudge unwillingly toward our fate, staring at the ground like condemned prisoners.

“I guess I’ll leave you to it, Major,” says Carlo’s dad.

He revs up the bike, and without even a sideways glance, rides off past us and back in the direction of the stables. Jonah watches him in silence as he goes, over the rise of the hill and then across the field in the distance.

“What took you so long, boy?” Jonah says forcefully, taking us both by complete surprise, his voice echoing off the front of the house and reverberating around the driveway enclave.

“We were . . .” Carlo begins meekly.

“You were what?” booms Jonah’s voice. Carlo flinches.

I step forward in defense of Carlo, ready to take the blame for anything. “We’re sorry Jonah, we didn’t . . .”

“Was I talking to you?” Jonah hisses, cutting me off. His icy glare pierces me. It’s a look that I’ve never seen from him before, and it chills me to the core. Jonah stands there in silence, hands behind his back, glaring at each of us in turn. I catch his gaze and it feels like a cold laser beam, burning a hole through my skull. My eyes flick down to the ground again and stay there.

“You two have been running around here doing whatever you want for far too long. I thought you were good, responsible kids, and yet today, I find out that not only have you been fighting, taking things that don’t belong to you without permission, and lying to me, but worst of all, deliberately causing harm to each other.” Jonah’s voice is so very serious. “Carlo. This is unacceptable behavior. Finn, I thought I raised you better than that.”

“But, Jonah . . .” I peep croakily.

“Quiet, Finn!” Jonah barks.

This is the first time Jonah has ever really scolded me, and it does not feel good at all.

“Now, after reviewing all that has come to light today, it has become glaringly obvious to me that what you children lack is proper discipline. What you need is a firm hand to guide you, to be taught the difference between right and wrong and the consequences of your actions. Carlo, you will be spending every afternoon for the rest of the summer here with me and Finn, and in that time you will both address me as Major Brogan. Furthermore, until I say otherwise, the only words I want to hear coming out of your mouths are ‘Sir, yes, sir!’ Is that clear?”

Carlo and I look at each other. He looks as afraid as I feel. My Jonah has been body-snatched and replaced by this utterly terrifying stranger.

“I said, is that clear?”

“Sir, yes, sir,” we say in unison.

“Good.” Jonah gives us both another icy stare. I can’t see it—my eyes are still on the dirt—but I can definitely feel it.

“Carlo. You’ve seen what Finn can do, how she can fix herself?”

“Sir, yes, sir,” Carlo replies, his voice slightly trembling.

“Whom have you told?”

I watch Carlo’s face from the corner of my eye. I can see him studying Jonah’s expression. Carlo looks at me, then back at Jonah, and makes a snap decision. He lies.

“Nobody, sir.”

Jonah stares him down, but Carlo doesn’t break. I don’t know why Carlo lied. Maybe he didn’t want to get into any more trouble with Jonah than he already was? Whatever the reason, Jonah seems satisfied. “Alright, then. Until we know more about why and how it works, it will be a secret between the three of us. Tell absolutely no one. Understand?”

“Sir, yes, sir,” we say in unison.

“Swear on it.”

“We swear,” we both say at the same time. Carlo even holds his right hand up in a three-fingered Boy Scouts’ salute.

“Right. Now, both of you, follow me.” Jonah turns and enters through the open front door. We quickly fall in step behind him as he leads us through the marble foyer, down the hallway beneath the main stairs, and toward the heavy oak and iron door that leads to the southern wing.

I have lived in this house my whole life and I have never been beyond this door. I have always known the southern wing to be by far the smallest and most boring of Blackstone Manor. It consists of nothing more than dusty storage rooms for old furniture and books. From the outside, by counting the chimneys, you can tell that there are four rooms: two on either side. You can see into the rooms through the little gaps in the curtains. I’m a curious kid so of course I looked, and, from what I saw, I was never really interested in going into any of them. All four rooms are connected by a central corridor. Two are not particularly large, and from what I could see, totally empty. No tables or chairs or even paintings on the walls. No rugs or anything. Just bare wooden floors, empty fireplaces, and dust.

One of the other two rooms on the opposite side is crammed wall to wall with folding chairs and wooden bench seats like the ones you would find in a church. There didn’t seem to be any spare floor space in it at all. The last room is filled with cardboard boxes, most of which have the word “books” scrawled on their sides in thick red marker. I always assumed they were the spare ones that wouldn’t fit on the shelves in the libraries.

Jonah takes a large key from his pocket, puts it in the lock of the ironclad door, and turns it to the right. The lock clicks loudly; he pushes the door open and flicks the light switch on the wall. Jonah stands to one side. “In you go, both of you,” he orders.