Inflame (Explosive) (33 page)

He pulls me in closer, if that’s possible, until I’m practically on top of him. I feel his lips resting just beneath my ear. “If I lost you…I don’t think I could go on. Never, ever leave me. Promise me, baby,” he begs, a desperate plea in his tone.

My lips find his cheek, pressing gently before I pull back to look at him, but his eyes are closed. Something about this moment seems safe, and I work up the nerve to say what’s on my heart. Taking a deep breath, I decide that I can admit my feelings to a drunk-as-hell Kale. He probably won’t remember, so no harm, no foul.

“Kale Montgomery, I couldn’t leave you even if I wanted to. You may have no idea, but…” I sigh, closing my eyes, willing the words to come out. I move down the bed until my head settles on his chest, and I can feel it rising and falling. “I love you. I’m in love with you, Kale, and I have been for so long. Who would’ve thought? You’re my best friend, and if I could share anything in the world with you for the rest of our lives, it’d be Sprout. Me and Sprout.”

My breath catches as he stirs until I realize he’s just settling into the bed. I have no idea if my words even registered or if he’ll remember them tomorrow, but I know them, and for now that’s enough. I do love Kale, and I realize now that I have for a very long time.

T
HE ANNOYING
sound of a phone buzzing breaks me from my slumber, and I fumble to turn off my alarm, knowing that there’s no way in hell I’m going to make it to my routine Saturday morning sparring session at the gym. My head’s pounding as if there are a thousand angry drummers trapped in my skull, and I’m struggling to remember what the hell happened last night. Groaning, I realize I’m not alone and slowly open my eyes, blinking a few times as my eyes adjust to the darkness. Lucy’s cuddled up against my side, and I frown, wondering when she got here. I glance at the clock and see that it’s just a little after five a.m.

After slowly slipping out of bed, I try to quietly make it to the bathroom in search of some relief for the hangover I’m bound to have once the buzz wears off. Pretty sure I still have bourbon flowing through my veins, I quickly down a couple of aspirin before I make quick work of brushing my teeth, hoping to get this damn alcohol taste out of my mouth.

Once my mouth no longer tastes like the inside of a liquor bottle, I lean down and splash water over my face as the events of the night begin to flow back through my mind with more clarity than I would have expected for someone who nearly drank half a bottle of bourbon. Letting out a long breath, I study myself in the mirror. It’s been far too long since I let myself go back to that place. Now that I’m a little more clearheaded, I realize it was probably therapeutic to let myself have a moment to grieve, and while I’ll always miss what I lost, I vow to cherish what I have now. I know I need to look forward and let the past remain just that—the past.

Heading back into the bedroom, I’m about to climb back into bed with Lucy when my eyes spot the sonogram sitting on the nightstand next to my phone. I vaguely remember bringing it to bed with me. Sliding in next to Lucy, I lie back on the pillow and struggle to recall when she came in. I’m pretty sure I thought I was dreaming, not believing she was really with me. Suddenly, the rest of what I thought was a dream rolls through my mind and my heart starts beating wildly as the words repeat.

“I love you, Kale Montgomery.”

Closing my eyes, I let the memory of Lucy’s beautiful admission replay, and as if she can read my mind, she moves back in to cuddle up against me, her hand resting directly over my heart. I struggle to remain calm in hopes that she can’t feel my racing heartbeat.

I bring my hand up to stroke her face, and she sighs softly in her sleep. As I watch her, it dawns on me that maybe everything happens for a reason, and there’s no place I’d rather be right now. No one else I’d want to be with. Anything I felt for Tara pales in comparison to the emotions that Lucy brings out, and I realize that, although I’ve never said the words, I feel the same way, too.

My thumb slides across her lower lip, and I lean in, replacing it with my mouth in a soft kiss. “I love you, too, Lucy Dawson,” I whisper, and I only hope I have the courage to say the words again when she’s awake.

The feeling is short-lived because once I pull back from her, I watch as her eyes slowly flutter open, resting on my own. “Say that again when you’re sober and maybe I’ll believe you,” she responds, letting me know she heard every word.

She moves so she’s on her back and underneath me, and I slip my hand under her shirt in order to rest it on her belly. I can feel the small bump that’s starting to form, and I grin down at her. “I may not be entirely sober, but I’m clearheaded enough to know I mean it. Ever since the moment you looked up at me from that classroom floor, I’ve been a goner. It just took me a little while to realize it, but every second you spent in my bed, in my life, you’ve been working your way in to my heart, and baby, I just can’t help but love you. You make it so damn easy.”

Tears form in her eyes and she blinks rapidly as if she’s trying to push them away. “These damn hormones. I swear, all I seem to do these days is cry,” she says, sniffing as she gives me a sweet smile. “I didn’t realize in your drunken state you heard me. Speaking of, what the hell was that all about? A little too much with the guys, babe?”

I grimace, knowing this isn’t the time to talk about it. Xavier’s insistence that I tell her runs through my mind, but I quickly drive the thought out of my head. Turning on my side, I prop up on my elbow and continue to run my fingers across her stomach. “Yeah, something like that. But don’t try to change the subject. I just poured out my heart to you and that’s all you have to say?”

I watch as a small grin forms on her face, and I wish I could read her mind. “You’re pretty easy to love, too. We were fooling ourselves with this whole friends with benefits things, weren’t we?”

“Apparently, but I don’t mind. I’m a fool for you, Lucy. Always have been, always will be.”

Her hand slides over mine, interlocking our fingers, and she holds them still. She turns her head to look at me, our eyes locking. “I guess that makes me a fool for you, too. It’s just… at the same time, I’m scared. It’s only been a month since we found out about the baby, and it’s been a whirlwind. Are we doing this too fast? Is the excitement of starting a family getting in the way of us thinking rationally? I don’t want to be an obligation, or have you wake up one day resenting the fact that I got pregnant. From the moment you saw the positive pregnancy test you’ve been nothing but sweet, gentle, and understanding. I guess I’m just terrified that once everything settles, you’ll realize this isn’t what you want.”

Her words are sobering and in an instant, my mind is completely clear of all haziness. I’ve never felt like she’s an obligation and I want this, her, more than anything in the world. Sitting up, I turn the bedside lamp on, and then move back in to settle beside Lucy. I want her to see me as I try to reassure her. She’s staring up at the ceiling, so I gently grip her chin and turn her face towards me. Our eyes meet and hers are wide, watery and full of apprehension. “Lucy, we’ve been dancing around our feelings for over a year, and if you recall, I told you I wanted more with you while I was gone.”

“But…” she opens her mouth to protest, and I bring a finger to her lips to silence her.

“I know what you’re going to say, and it’s not true. I didn’t say that just because you were with someone else. He was just the catalyst that made me realize I was an idiot for not telling you how I felt. And then when I got home, you were ready to swear off relationships again. Trust me, when I walked into that classroom after my deployment, I had every intention of telling you just how much you mean to me, and why any other guy would be wrong for you. I just never got the chance because you weren’t ready, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to push you at the risk of losing you. So I took what I could get. If I couldn’t have all of you, I was okay with settling for whatever part you’d give me.”

“Kale, I had no idea…” she whispers, trailing off as if she’s trying to put the pieces together.

I give her a smile that’s laced with disbelief. “Yes, you did. You just didn’t realize it. Or you were too scared to admit it, but if you think about it, babe, once I came back, things were different. We were different.”

She stares at me for a few beats, then nods her head. Finally, I’m getting somewhere. “I guess you’re right. I just didn’t notice. Things have always been so easy with us, so comfortable, and it was just normal—like no other relationship I’ve ever been in. The whole time I was falling in love with my best friend, and I had no idea.”

“I think you knew. We both did, but we were too chicken shit to admit it out loud,” I tell her before reaching over to grab the ultrasound off the night stand. “Not until this little guy came along to give us the push we needed. Lucy, never, not for a second, think that I’m here out of any sort of obligation. We may have done things out of order, but I loved you before you got pregnant, and it’s only increased since then. We may not have known it at the time, but he was created out of love, and I pray I can love you both for the rest of my life.”

Lucy’s eyes start to water as she looks at the sonogram, tracing the outline of our unborn baby. “Thank you, Kale,” she whispers, and I wrinkle my brow at her. She smiles softly and my heart squeezes at the sight. “For him. For us. You’re everything I never knew I wanted, and you’ve given me the greatest gift love has to offer. I trust you. I trust us. And you’re right. This was a long time coming. He just helped out a little by showing up earlier than expected.”

Hearing that she trusts me brings upon sudden relief, and I hope I’ve done enough to alleviate her doubts. Leaning down, I place a searing kiss on her lips. “It was all my pleasure, baby,” I respond. “And maybe some of yours, too.”

She giggles against my lips, and then lets out a big yawn as I pull away. I turn off the light and lie back down, pulling her into me so we’re chest to back. “I’m probably going to feel like ass all day, so let’s try and get some extra sleep. All this serious talk has sobered me up too quickly, and if I don’t get some more shut eye, you’re going to be dealing with one hell of a grump.”

“Sounds good to me. The girls wiped me out last night and a few more hours of sleep sounds perfect,” she pauses as I feel her relax against me. “Love you.”

Wrapping my arm around her tighter, I smile into her hair. “I love you, too.”

And I mean it. Every single word.

“O
VER HERE
, Lucy!” I hear Charlie calling my name.

Looking up from my phone, I see her by baggage claim, and I make my way towards her as I type out a quick text to Kale letting him know that I made it home just fine. She gives me a big hug when I reach her, and my belly grazes hers, causing her to laugh.

“It’s like you’ve popped overnight! Seriously, where’d this come from?”

Groaning, I roll my eyes as I rub my stomach. With the holidays coming, I didn’t have much time to see Charlie before I left for Florida. Now I’m almost seventeen weeks along and have a very pronounced bump that seems to have grown almost overnight. There was a slight pouch at my last doctor’s appointment, but nothing like this.