Inherit the Sky (Lang Downs 1 ) (13 page)

M
ACKLIN managed to avoid Caine for the rest of the day, not that Caine tried that hard to talk to him. This wasn’t a conversation they needed to have where the men could overhear them. As they rode back into the valley that sheltered the main station, Caine wondered if they should even discuss it at Macklin’s house. While the foreman lived alone, his house was near the others used by the families that lived at Lang Downs permanently, and if they ended up shouting at each other, it might be audible outside. He could try to get Macklin to come to the big house where they were more assured of privacy, except he doubted the foreman would agree, and Caine didn’t want to make it an order. They had enough issues without adding a power struggle to the list.

Macklin didn’t come to the canteen for dinner, adding to Caine’s suspicion the other man was going to pretend the kiss had never happened. Caine spent the meal talking with Jason instead, who was excited about having participated in his first drive with Polly at his side. From everything Caine had seen, Jason had done a great job, and Caine made sure to tell him so.

“Really?” Jason asked.
“I’m not an expert,” Caine reminded him, “but it sure seemed to me like you and Polly were where you were supposed to be, moving the sheep along with all the other men and dogs. I didn’t see her running off to do something else or you goofing around instead of working. Maybe you still have stuff left to learn, but you helped today, and that’s good.”
“Mr. Armstrong said I could start helping around the station this winter,” Jason explained. “I don’t want to let him down.”
“I’m sure you won’t,” Caine said, “and you can teach me all the things he lets you do while you’re at it. I certainly have plenty to learn.”
“Not a lot going on once the breeding’s done,” Jason said. “Make sure the sheep have enough to eat, make sure they have shelter if it snows, make sure the dingoes don’t come in too close. We spend a lot of the winter fixing things that broke during the summer, and I spend it doing lessons.”
“It sounds peaceful.”
“It’s bloody boring,” Jason disagreed. “I have lessons to do. Mum said I could do them tonight because of the drive, but I can’t get behind or she won’t let me do the next one.”
“Good luck,” Caine said. wandered casually—he hoped it house. The door was closed, but he could see lights on inside so he knocked and waited. Macklin opened the door a moment later. “I missed you at dinner.”
“I had things to do,” Macklin said, not opening the door any wider or inviting Caine in.
“I figured,” Caine said, keeping his voice steady by force of will alone, “but I didn’t want to miss our b-beer.”
“I don’t have time tonight,” Macklin repeated.
“Bullshit,” Caine said, pushing past Macklin into the house. “You’re avoiding me.”
“I was out of line up there,” Macklin said. “Just forget it ever happened.”
“What if I don’t want to forget it?” Caine asked. “What if I want it to happen again?”
“You’ve been here a month. You could be gone again in another month,” Macklin said. “You’re lonely, and you think I’d be a good substitute for the guy who dumped you in the States. You don’t know me well enough to want me.”
He finished his dinner and then was casually—toward Macklin’s
The speech left Caine momentarily flabbergasted. “You haven’t heard a word I’ve said since we met, have you?” he said finally. “I’m not leaving. Even if you don’t want me, even if the kiss really was a fluke, I’m not leaving.This is my home now, get it?”
“No,” Macklin said. “I don’t. I’m not saying I don’t believe you, but I don’t ‘get it,’ as you put it. I don’t know how you can uproot your life the way you did and how you can claim such loyalty to Lang Downs after only a month, and because I don’t understand, I’m having a hard time trusting it.”
“That’s fair,” Caine said, weighing his words. “Why didn’t you tell me you were gay?”
“Because it doesn’t matter,” Macklin replied, running his hand through his shaggy hair. “This isn’t Philadelphia. It’s the outback. Being gay isn’t a choice.”
“No, it isn’t a choice,” Caine agreed. “It’s the way you are, just like it’s the way I am. I’ve seen the way people around here watch you. You really think they’d care?”
“Maybe not,” Macklin said, “but it doesn’t matter since I’ve never met anyone out here I want to be with, and I don’t want a lover who can’t share my life.”
“And now that you’ve met me?”
“You’re… you’re this beautiful exotic creature,” Macklin said, obviously struggling to put his thoughts into words. “I can’t stop staring at you, but you don’t seem real.”
Caine took a deep breath and stepped closer, catching Macklin’s hand in his. “I’m real,” he said, “and I’m just as fascinated by you.” He brushed his lips softly over Macklin’s to prove his point.
Macklin groaned, his grip tightening on Caine’s hand while his other hand grabbed the back of Caine’s head, hauling him close. Caine wrapped his free arm around Macklin’s neck, holding on as the foreman kissed him with the same fierceness from that morning, like he was starved for touch and desperate for more. Caine gave it willingly, stroking the nape of Macklin’s neck and opening beneath the onslaught of the kiss. Macklin’s tongue invaded his mouth, possessing more than exploring, and arousing Caine faster than he’d imagined possible. Maybe it really was John’s fault the sex had been boring, because there was nothing boring about the way he felt with Macklin!
Macklin lifted his head, eyes dilated and breath coming fast. “This isn’t a good idea.”
“It feels like a damn good idea to me,” Caine said, rubbing against Macklin’s body. He could feel Macklin’s interest in the erection that matched his own.
“We have to work together,” Macklin reminded him.
“So we’ll work together,” Caine replied, kissing along Macklin’s jaw. “I wasn’t planning on kissing you while we were working anyway.”
“That’s not what I meant,” Macklin said. “If we sleep together and it doesn’t work out, what are we supposed to do? Lang Downs is my home. I can’t just go work somewhere else.”
“And what if we sleep together and it
does
work out?” Caine demanded.“You could be tossing away a chance at happiness.”
Macklin shook his head and disentangled himself from Caine’s embrace. “Lang Downs is the only constant I have in my life. I can’t take chances with that.You know the way out.”
Caine watched in stunned silence as Macklin disappeared into another part of the house, leaving him alone and reeling in the living room. His body throbbed, demanding more of the pleasurable stimulation, a painful reminder of what had just happened. Slowly he turned and walked outside, staring up at the unfamiliar constellations as he tried to make sense of Macklin’s swings in attitude. One minute the man had kissed him like he never wanted to let go, and the next he’d all but pushed Caine out the door. It didn’t make sense.
Caine was tempted to pound on the door again and demand more of an explanation, but he doubted it would help. Macklin was a law unto himself, and trying to change his mind was like trying to channel the tides.
Caine kicked at the gravel beneath his boots as he walked back to the main house, all the aches from a day on horseback making themselves felt now that he didn’t have the anticipation of talking with Macklin to drive them to the back of his mind. He was sulking and he knew it, but he’d just been rejected by the first man to catch his interest in months and the only man to ever make him feel like Macklin had with something as simple as a kiss.
Going into his house, he climbed the stairs and stared at the narrow shower. He wanted a bath, a long soak in a hot tub. He hadn’t gone into Uncle Michael’s room, not feeling like it was right to use that space, but he went in there now, hoping the bathroom would be larger than his. He found an old-fashioned claw-foot tub. “Oh, thank you, Uncle Michael,” Caine said, turning the water on hot and plugging the drain so the tub could fill. He hurried back into his room to get everything he’d need for a bath. By the time he returned to the bathroom, steam filled the air. He stripped down and stepped into the water, sighing in relief as the heat seeped into his tired muscles.
He closed his eyes as the tub continued to fill, replaying his conversation with Macklin in his mind. He hadn’t really expected to end up in the foreman’s bed right away, but he’d hoped for a little more than a facile dismissal. Macklin hadn’t kissed him like he was unaffected either time, which made the end of their conversation all the more puzzling. If Macklin returned his interest, why had he pushed Caine away?
Caine turned off the water and slid down lower so it covered his shoulders. It made no sense. People made relationships work even on remote stations like Lang Downs. There were several families living on the station year-round, so it was obviously possible, but they were all straight couples from what Caine could tell. Not that Macklin had actually said the fact they were gay was a problem, so maybe it really was his being convinced that Caine wouldn’t stay or wouldn’t take a relationship seriously.
“There’s a solution to that,” Caine said softly, staring at the ceiling. “I just have to convince him.”
It wouldn’t be easy. Macklin was determined not to believe Caine where staying was concerned, which meant he’d be even less willing to believe Caine was serious about him, but time was on Caine’s side. He didn’t have a deadline, a moment by which he had to succeed. He could keep working on Macklin, working
with
Macklin to prove his sincerity and his interest. Macklin might look like he was made of stone, but he had cracked today when fear and anger had gotten the best of him. Caine didn’t plan on provoking his temper, but he could provoke other things. With a bit of space and time to calm down, Caine could think back to their kiss in Macklin’s living room and see the way Macklin had reacted. He wasn’t uninterested. He was afraid. He was also desperate. Caine grinned. He wondered if Macklin would like a homecooked meal for two. That would give him the privacy to touch as he pleased.
Just thinking about it made his body react. He’d spent far too short a time in Macklin’s embrace, but the feel of work-hardened muscles was already imprinted on Caine’s skin. He closed his eyes, reliving the sensation of Macklin’s hands on his arms and the back of his neck, commanding him. He didn’t think of himself as particularly submissive, but damn, there had been something about being
taken
the way Macklin had done the two times they had kissed. If sex with him was the same way, Caine figured he’d be a pile of ash by the time Macklin finished with him, because the kisses alone had been incendiary.
He ran his hand over his chest, trying to imagine what it would feel like if Macklin touched him there. Caine could still feel where Macklin had grabbed his arms after the incident with the snake, not quite bruised but definitely tender. Would Macklin’s hands be as authoritative when making love? Would he press Caine back onto the bed and knead firmly? Caine imitated the caress he could picture with such ease, pulling on one nipple firmly, a hiss escaping at the sensation that arrowed down his stomach. He rolled it experimentally between his fingers, imagining the calluses of Macklin’s hands in place of his own smoother fingers.
The jolt that went through him had to be from the thought of Macklin touching him, because Caine had never taken this kind of pleasure in touching himself before. He was as well-acquainted with his right hand as any man, but this felt different, more potent, almost as if Macklin were there with him, touching him for real instead of only in his imagination and his dreams.
Letting the fantasy spin out, Caine continued to play with his nipples with one hand while the other circled his cock, fully hard now. He stroked up and down the shaft slowly, trying to imagine Macklin doing the same, except that Caine had trouble envisioning it. Not that he thought Macklin would be a selfish lover, but somehow he suspected sex with Macklin would be as hard and fast as the kisses had been, that he’d be on his knees, his ass in the air, before he could blink. He groaned at the image, sliding his hand deeper between his legs so he could reach his entrance. This was where Macklin would focus his attention, Caine suspected, on stretching him to take Macklin’s cock.
In the tub, he couldn’t shift easily onto his knees to mimic the position he was sure Macklin would demand, but he worked a finger inside his hole, imagining Macklin was touching him instead. He found his prostate and flicked it, groaning as his cock jerked in the water. He pressed on the gland again and watched a fresh cloud of fluid seep into the water. Adding a second finger, he pumped slowly, not that he expected Macklin would go slow, but it had been a while since he’d last had anything inside him. Sex with John had been rarer and rarer over the past year, and what there had been of it tended to be a quick, uninspired blow job. Sex with Macklin might be quick at times, but Caine already knew it would never be uninspired. Not with the way the man kissed.
Feeling his guardian muscle relaxing, Caine started moving his hand more quickly, in imitation of the way Macklin would fuck him. He closed his eyes again and remembered the expression on Macklin’s face when they had broken apart after their kiss in Macklin’s living room. That and a particularly well-aimed pass across his prostate were all it took. Caine groaned as his cock spurted into the water, his release surging through him. He slumped against the back of the tub, his hand still resting between his legs. “Damn,” he muttered. “Actually having sex with Macklin will probably kill me.”
He let the water out of the tub and turned the taps back on. He’d need fresh water if he intended to actually get clean.
By the time he finished his bath, he was absolutely exhausted, the early morning, the hard riding, the scare with the snake, and the confrontation with Macklin combining with his orgasm to leave him completely wrung out. He flopped into bed, realizing as he was falling asleep that he hadn’t asked Macklin what they were doing the next day.