Initiate Me (6 page)

I drew a finger along his skin and in a quiet voice, I asked, “Have you ever dreamed about me, Zane? Have you ever thought about taking me in your arms and kissing me? Touching me? Because I dream about you all the time. You, in my bed, making me feel things I’ve never felt before.”

“Why didn’t you tell me about your fantasies before this? Why come on to me now, at your brother’s wedding, for fuck’s sake, and then back out?” He jerked away from me in anger.

My stomach lurched. I’d gone and pissed him off; he didn’t even want me to touch him. Rage flashed before my eyes. He was the most hard-headed, frustrating man I had ever met. Well, apart from a couple of my brothers. I didn’t want to lose what I had worked hard for all night, so I crowded against his body.

“I never knew how to tell you.” I pleaded into his eyes. “You have only ever seen me as Max’s pain-in-the-arse little sister. It wasn’t until I came on to you tonight that you saw me as a woman and finally noticed I grew up.”

“Oh, I noticed before, angel; don’t worry.”

“If that is the case, I want to know why you haven’t acted on the attraction between us before now. Why have you put on the brakes all these years if it was what you really wanted all along?”

Zane grabbed me by my shoulders and manoeuvred me away from him. He paced back and forth, his hands dragging through his hair in frustration, swear words floating in the air.

“I’m going to be honest here, Mia.” He turned toward me; his face was drawn, as if he’d shut off his heart.

“Okay, good, that’s what I want—honesty.”

His voice was gravelly and deep as he spoke, “I thought you were drunk tonight and playing a game, and I went along with it, thinking you’d back out. The issue here is you are too young for me. I like my women a lot older. But then you followed me out here and, Lord, I couldn’t think straight when you started touching me.”

“Yeah, I noticed,” I laughed, trying to make light of the situation.

“Do I want you? Hell yeah. You make my body ache so hard it’s a fucking nightmare for me to wake and realise you’re not really there. I refuse to take advantage of the physical pull between us for something that could be a one-night stand.”

I gasped as pain rippled through my belly. His words lashed me, stinging me to the core. The seemingly caring tone he delivered them in made it so much worse. I wanted to smack him so hard, before he could break my heart.

Anger made me retaliate in a whole new direction.

“So you want me, but only for one night. When I asked you to teach me, I thought it would take longer than one fucking night! But seeing as I’m old enough now to play around, only not with you, perhaps I should find someone who’s around my age and interested in me.”

“Mia...” His emotionless face changed instantly, disapproval and anger flashing one after the other. “You are putting words into my mouth. I never said it
would
be a one-night stand. I said it
could
be.”

“Now you are just dribbling shit!” I was so angry with him. All those whisperings in my ear — ‘I’ll never let you go’, ‘I want you’ — it was all a bunch of crock. “What, you don’t think any men are interested in me? I’m pretty sure I can find some, back there at the after-party,” I retorted, pointing toward the building.

He stepped toward me, forcing me to shuffle backward.

“I’ll warn off any man you decide to pick up, Mia, and tell him you’re off-limits. You offered yourself to me first, so stay away from other men,” he warned me, his voice harsh and low.

“What?” I let out a burst of laugher, feeling hard and tight inside. “You are confusing the fuck out of me. You want me. You don’t want to want me, but you want me?” I pointed and jabbed at his chest. “You’re not the boss of me. Maybe I can’t convince you to be with me, but I bet you I sure as Hell can have a little fun with a couple of others.”

Well,
that
got him riled. He loomed over me, dark and dangerous, and I wanted him to hold me instead of dealing with the whole stupid mess. Why did I have to go and ruin it all? Why did I utter those two stupid words
‘I can’t’
earlier? If only I hadn’t let my insecurities get the best of me, we could have been having hot sex by that point.

“Let’s not throw what we already have away, Mia, all those years of friendship. Our families are close, too.”

My throat tightened up, anger melting away as I fought back tears. There was no way I was going to cry in front of him, not then. I had to figure out a solution to stop the train wreck from continuing. “I agree we’ve had something special in the past. But don’t you see, all those years of friendship were leading to something bigger and better, and that’s what you’re choosing to give up on. You, Zane, you’re the one throwing the possibility of us away. I know what I want.”

I stood on my tiptoes and brushed a kiss on his burning-hot cheek before whispering, “Let me know when you’re ready to admit what you really want. I’m getting tired of waiting for the right answer.”

Never had I been keen on dramatic exits, but time was of the essence to avoid bursting into tears in front of him. I slipped past his solid, bulky frame and vanished into the night.

MIA

T
he minute I walked inside the bar, I zeroed in on Milan.

“You!” I shoved at her shoulder. “You and your stupid, idiotic, harebrained schemes!” I kept poking her, not even noticing Jada was standing next to her for a second.
What the hell is she doing here? Shouldn’t she be enjoying her wedding night with Max?

“What the hell are you so furious about?” Jada asked curiously. “Milan, are you going to explain why she’s so angry with you?”

“Relax, sister, dear. Mia is exaggerating, aren’t you, Mia?” Milan glared at me with warning.

Neither one of us wanted to spoil the special day for Jada by ending the evening on a sour note.

“It’s nothing, honestly. I’m just upset about something Milan dared me to do and it didn’t go according to plan.”

“Hmm.” Jada scanned both of our faces for an answer. Damn, she knew me too well. I could tell the exact moment the truth hit my friend, because her eyes grew big and she shook her head. “Oh, my God. Please tell me you didn’t listen to Milan and try and get Z—”

I leaped toward Jada to cover her mouth with my hand before either of my brothers overheard our conversation. I would be mortified.

“I knew what I was doing.”

Jada yanked my hand from her mouth. “You don’t have a clue what you’re doing. You’ve never played games with men before, sweetie, and Zane is definitely the wrong man to decide to mess around with, especially today,” Jada said and turned to her sister. “What the hell were you thinking telling her to do something like that and at my wedding, of all days?”

“Jada, please will you shut up!”

Jada pinned me with a hard gaze. “Please don’t do this. Not tonight. Not with him.”

“You know what?” I said, looking at both sisters. “I am going to tell you something I have never admitted to anyone before. Both of you have never had any trouble with men and neither of you know what it’s like to be invisible.” I instinctively lifted my chin and pushed back my shoulders. “I’m sick of it.”

“You are not invisible, Mia! For God’s sake, you are gorgeous and every man at the wedding was staring at you today and even tonight,” Jada reassured me.

Yeah, but not the man I wanted to notice me.

“Can we just forget about all of this and pretend I never mentioned it? Let’s talk about the ceremony and how wonderful it was instead, okay?”

“Now that sounds like a plan,” Milan interjected. “I honestly never thought I’d see
The
Max Brunetti all choked up when he asked if you would love, honour and comfort each other.”

Thank God, Milan turned the conversation around. And it was true, the ceremony was so moving that I had to reach for Milan’s hand and hold it tightly as we all waited for that perfect moment when my brother declared his love to Jada. It felt as if the entire world stood still when Max turned to Jada and smiled at her. My chest squeezed at the undying love radiating from my brother to his bride. It made me wonder what it would feel like to have a man look at me like that. As if I was absolutely everything to him.

A tear had slipped down my cheek when Max said, “I will love you forever, Jada.” Then moments later, Jada made the same vow to Max, and even more tears fell, one after the other. When our parish priest pronounced them husband and wife, everyone cheered as they kissed. It was then I looked up and caught Zane staring at me. It was that look which gave me the confidence to do what Milan had suggested, which was to approach him and make my move.

I tried to look away.

But I failed.

***

I
couldn’t wait to go home. When Milan left with Blake, I hitched a ride with them and they dropped me off at home, seeing as my parents left soon after the reception. The long day and embarrassing scene with Zane had left me feeling tired to the bone and in need of a very hot shower. The moment I reached my bedroom, I started stripping and carelessly scattered my clothing on the floor. I didn’t care. I ran the shower until it was quite hot and stepped under the spray.

I closed my eyes on a sigh of pleasure as the pressure and heat of the water started to relax me. I tipped my head back, letting the spray soak into my hair. I soaped my hair, massaging my scalp as I worked it through my thick waves. I rinsed it out then began to scrub my body with the shower gel.

As I washed myself, my thoughts turned to Zane. I bit my lower lip as images of what we did together came to me and I couldn’t stop them. I remembered his hands on my body and I imagined he was touching me again. A shiver ran through my body as I dropped the sponge and cupped my breasts in my hands. I closed my eyes and rolled both my nipples between my thumbs and forefingers, imagining it was Zane touching me.

I imagined him in the shower with me, his green eyes dark with sensuality, his hair wet, rivulets of water running down that muscular chest as the water pounded down on both of us. I’d slide my hands over his fit body, which I knew was rock-hard and toned, and I bet he’d have a generous package, too.

Then he would kiss me, slowly exploring my mouth. Heat rushed through me as I could almost feel his hands on me. I imagined him moving away and dipping his head to latch onto my nipple. I gasped as I pinched my nipples, almost feeling the warmth of his mouth on me, licking and sucking.

My thighs were slick with need and I slipped two fingers into my wetness, imagining they were his. I circled my clit while I played with my nipple with my opposite hand.

I parted my lips at the sensations. My arousal spiked thinking about what he would do to me. He would catch me by the waist, lift me and push me up against the cool, tiled shower wall while I wrapped my thighs around him.

Damn it, I could’ve been with him right now, like this, if he hadn’t rejected me
. The more I thought about us together, the more I felt myself coming closer and closer to orgasm. I imagined what it would feel like when he finally placed his cock against my core and drove it into me
hard
. Being a virgin, I had only ever read about having sex, but I wanted to experience it so badly and only with Zane. I moved my finger faster and faster on my clit as he thrust in and out in my mind, taking me with fierce intensity.

My breathing came fast, as I imagined the feel of him moving in and out of me, his skin slick against mine, the sheer size of him...
Oh, God.

I came so hard my eyes flew open at the strength of my orgasm. With a groan, I sagged against the wall. Shit, I couldn’t believe I’d just had the most amazing orgasm while thinking about having sex with Zane Mitchell.

Shit!
I groaned. If I was going to be fantasizing about him like that, I was in serious trouble.

***

ZANE

I
tossed and turned all night, her words haunting me.

When
I
am ready?

I couldn’t get those words out of my head. She had no idea how ready I was for her. My dick had been ready for her from when she was sixteen. When Mia walked back into the after-party, I stared at her, not knowing whether to chase after her sexy arse or simply let her go.

I let her go.

I couldn’t believe after all these years, she propositioned me. Fuck, I had a hard-on the size of a pool noodle. I had a warm, willing woman ready to help me ease the pain and what did I do? I let her walk away.

I could tell she was hurt by my rejection, but I was positive it was the wine talking because in the past, Mia hardly ever said two words to me. Damn, she confused the shit out of me. I was going insane and I had to face her again at Max and Jada’s farewell lunch before they left for their honeymoon to Paris.

Mia’s family were always having some sort of celebration. Over the previous four weeks, it seemed I’d been spending every Sunday at the Brunetti mansion for some celebration or another. But this time, seeing as I was best man, I offered to host the farewell at my newly acquired pub, The Barossa Barrels. The minute I saw the run-down pub for sale in the town of Angaston, which was on the eastern side of the Barossa, I immediately made a bid for it.

After retiring from the force, I needed something to invest my money in. Sure, Max and Marco had made me a silent partner in the Brunetti chain of hotels, but I wanted something of my own. The Barossa Farmers Markets were held in the main street every Saturday which created a real buzz in the area and drew people into the pub for lunch. So far, my little investment was paying off.

I barely recalled driving home the night before. All I remembered was waking up with a massive headache and a bottle of empty scotch by my bedside table. Luckily for me, I lived above the pub and didn’t have to go far.

After showering and changing, I headed downstairs to see if everything was ready for the farewell drinks. Fuck knew why we couldn’t have just farewelled them the previous night at the wedding or after-party. That would have suited me fine.