Ink (29 page)

I wiped my tears. I had given up everything for him. For Dad. And it made me upset when I thought about it. I gave up on my own happiness for my parent. The parent was the one who was suppose to give up their happiness for their child. This was not how it was supposed to happen. Was I going to live the rest of the year in misery?

“
Hey,” Slade said, standing in front of me, his body blotting out the last of the sunlight.

I wiped the last of the tears off my cheeks with my fingers. He wasn’t supposed to be popping up at my moment of frailty.

“
Hey,” I said, clearing my throat.

“
Haven’t seen you in a few days,” he pointed out, taking a spot next to me in the sand.

“
I thought you were busy.” Or tired of my childlike ways, I thought to myself.

“
I was singing, but that’s no reason to not come around. You could have hung backstage and listened,” he said, watching me.

I brushed my hair from my shoulder. “I’ll remember that next time.”

“
Good. I hope you do.” He pressed into me, trying to snatch some life back. “What’s got you looking so upset?”

I shrugged. “I miss home. I miss school. I miss having something to occupy my time.” I ticked off the long list of things that were, as he put them, upsetting.

“
Well, find something to occupy your time. You like to sing. You could always come hang out with us and do that. You said you like to dance, there’s a dance studio up the boardwalk.” He acted like it was all so uncomplicated.

“
Yeah, I like to do a lot of things,” I muttered, staring at the water. Crawford had taken off back to the house awhile ago.

“
Just not take great advice,” he shot back.

I turned my head. “What’s that supposed to mean. Is that your fancy way of being mean to me?”

“
No. It’s just my way of saying stop feeling sorry for yourself or your situation and do something to change it.” He raised an eyebrow, watching my expression change from sad to a bit hurt.

“
Excuse me, my dad made dinner for a change. And I am going to go
do
something.” I sprang up from the ground, wiping at the seat of my shorts. Slade hopped up too. “Great, what are we having?”

I laughed dryly. “
We
are having hotdogs.
You
weren’t invited.”

“
Why so heated?”

“
You just told me to stop whining,” I said, shaking my head at him.

“
This is called sexual tension. Nothing more than that. If you want me to help I can.” He grinned.

I stopped walking. “This is not
sexual
anything. And anyways, it clearly doesn’t matter, because you aren’t interested in me in that way.”

Slade was the one doing the laughing now. “Is that right?”

I stumbled for something to say to not make myself seem like an idiot. Of course he saw me in that way, he had me undressed in his bedroom, practically. Not to mention all that took place on the beach. I was acting like a baby. And if I kept acting like one he probably was going to not bother with me anymore.

“
No, it’s not right. I’m sorry, I’m just crabby and I’m taking it out on you.”

“
Tell me what is right then,” he said, not letting it go.

“
You’re confusing me.”

“
So you’re saying that I’m interested in you. But for some reason you are trying to believe otherwise. But, you think you know the truth, and the truth is I am interested in you. Is that what you’re saying?” We both looked at each other, my face showing my bewilderment.

“
None of that even made any sense,” I said as I laughed at him.

“
Yeah, it didn’t make any to me either. Let’s make this simpler. Do you like me?” he asked.

I bit my lip. We were only feet from my gate. Dad and the boys were probably in range of hearing anything I said next. I studied Slade’s expression. Dad looked up from the grill.

“
I-I don’t know,” I said, letting out a huff. I shook my head, laughing like he said something funny.

“
Yeah, me either.” Slade nodded.

Dad gave a wave to me and Slade as we came into the yard. “Slade,” Dad said, short and to the point.

Elliot and Easton grabbed several hotdogs and parked themselves on the porch steps. I took one, picking at the bun.

“
Mr. Zigler,” Slade said back. He shoved his hands in his shorts pockets, kind of rocking back and forth, looking nervous.

Dad advanced with the tray of hotdogs, offering up our food to Slade. “Might as well eat.”

Slade nodded, taking one and then Dad pushed the tray at him again making him take another. We all sat around the porch doing our best to eat and make small talk.

“
So, Slade, what exactly went on downtown?” Dad asked, kicking his feet up, his back resting against the porch column.

Slade chewed carefully before answering. His eyes darted from Dad to mine. “Sir, they just told me the usual.”

I coughed. If he was trying to make an impression on my dad, acting like it was common to be downtown wasn’t the way to go about it. I scratched my arm, following the conversation.

“
And what is the usual?” Dad said, like I anticipated.

“
Usually it’s a bunch of intimidating threats about how I am walking on a thin line. Followed by, they are watching my every move. And then when I ask them what exactly I’m being charged with, they unlock the handcuffs and I’m free to go.” Slade shrugged, finishing off his hotdog. Dad handed him a bottle of
water. He shook his head as if it all made sense.

“
I was upset with Hope being out late, but I would never call the cops. I trust that Hope told you it wasn’t us who made the phone call?” Dad’s eyes darted to me now. I nodded.

“
Yeah, I know.” Slade nodded. “I know all too well.”

We all grew quiet. Slade sipped at his water, staring off. I swiped my hands together giving Dad a glance. The kind of look that indicated I wanted to be left alone.

He let out a loud groan, standing up. “I think it’s about time for me to get inside. Hope, it’s a school night.”

I rolled my eyes. “But theoretically I’m not even in school. Midnight, come on, Dad,” I pleaded.

Dad ran a hand all the way through his hair. I knew if he was planning on drinking he might cave. But the last couple days I had not seen any signs of
Jack
in the house.

Slade watched me plead my case, a grin spreading across his face as I did my best to look like a sweet little angel.

“
Midnight, and not a minute after. And remember what we talked about.” He wagged a finger at me, heading inside. Elliot and Easton slipped under his arm, going in before him. I gave him a wave, a pleased smile on my face as Slade and I headed down to the water.

It was dark. Soft moonlight washed over the sand, spotlighting the water. As we got nearer the charge of the waves crashing against the shore was just about the only sound. All the kids in town were already home, probably doing homework and getting ready for bed. But not me, I was walking the beach with an extremely hot guy.

“
Do you always get your way?” Slade asked as we walked along the beach. I reached down, taking off my flip-flops.“Sometimes. Usually when he knows I really want something.”

“
Erica used to be the same way with our parents. I never could get away with that.” Slade smiled at the thought.

“
I got a feeling you were probably a handful. See, I’m not a handful, so it’s easy.” I laughed.

“
I think you could be,” Slade said slyly, snagging my hand in his. As
we
strolled along
the beach I noticed how
his face accented perfectly against the moonlight.

“
Well, I’ll take your word on that,” I said, wiggling my toes into the sand. Slade stopped walking. “What are you doing?” I asked, watching him drag his shirt over his head. He took off toward the water. “Slade!” I yelled, watching him dive under the waves. I crossed my arms, the water thrashing my toes.

He finally resurfaced. “Come on. You said you weren’t afraid anymore!”

I stamped my foot. “I said
with
you…I’m still afraid and it’s dark, that’s even worse.”

“
Come on!” Slade called out. “You said you needed something to do.”

I sighed, staring up at the stars and praying to God I wasn’t swallowed by a whale or bitten by a shark. “Well, you know the drill, and I prefer a green one this time!”

Slade grinned as he was struck by another wave. His body glistening with a soft glow from the water and moonlight. He wiped at his face.

“
I hope there’s a bathing suit underneath,” I mumbled, pulling my shirt over my head. I quickly looked down seeing a dark green bikini top securely in place. Wiggling out of my shorts, I laughed. The bottoms were black. He could never just throw in the towel, I thought, running for the water.

“
Are you sure this is safe?” I asked, coming to a screeching halt.

“
Just get in, I’ll make sure no creatures from the sea get to you,” he said with a smile, his face soaked. He looked totally kissable.

“
See not bad,” Slade said as I made it to him, I let the water devour me, moving my legs to keep afloat. His hands brushed against my skin. I smiled as he pulled me close, guiding us a little nearer to the shore so he could gain footing.

He leaned in for a kiss, his tongue sweeping across my bottom lip. I moved closer, squeezing his bicep, pulling myself closer to him until I finally couldn’t restrain myself any longer. I wrapped my legs around him, his hands finding my backside. I held tight to his neck as the kisses sped up. My heart hammering in my ears. The waves pounding against us as if they were trying their hardest to break us apart.

I let out a soft moan as his lips hit my neck, his hand running the length of it and then down to my back. He bit my lip, undoing my bathing suit top. I leaned in for more, feeling his soaked hands on my breasts. My skin sporting goose bumps as his fingers ran across them and then back up to my chin, pulling me in for one more kiss.

Slade’s eyes met mine, searching them for any sign of unwillingness. I kissed his cheek, giving him a small nod. He tugged at the strings of my bathing suit bottoms, pulling them off of me. Letting them drift away in the water.

I closed my eyes, taking in the moment, the tranquility that was all around us, how amazing he made me feel. I knew I was ready for the next step. I wanted the next step. Nobody ever made my heart feel the way that he did. Nobody could say so little and start such a fire within me. He turned me into Jell-O whenever he was near me. My body needed him, I couldn’t deny myself any longer, or I was sure I would go mad.

But I had this overwhelming sense of panic coursing through me. Would I even know what to do? Maybe this was why young girls shouldn’t have sex. I didn’t want to make a fool out of myself.

He undid his shorts, pressing into me, fully turned on. I kept up with his lips as his hands slid down my thighs. He gripped them forcefully, pulling me closer. I bit at my bottom lip, a rush of emotions hovering over me. I was about to do something my dad warned me about. Something that I couldn’t take back.

“
Are you okay?” Slade asked, holding off.

“
Fine,” I said, going for his mouth, I was afraid if he looked into my eyes he would see how unsure I was.

You want him so bad,
my thoughts screamed.
Just go with it!

Slade softly kissed up my neck, pulling me closer and watching my expression as a surge of pain flooded my body at our joining, followed by pleasure. There was no going back now.

He moved slowly, being so very gentle. I held on tight, letting him take control. He wanted control. The feel of his skin pressed so close to mine was enough to send my heart into back flips. We were connecting in ways more than physical. I could feel his emotions play out against my skin. He was invading my mind, body and soul in a way no one else had before. And I liked it, maybe too much. And this worried me.

I trailed my hands up and down his back, my nails digging into his flesh with each thrust, my heart sped up even more as I came closer to losing all control. He placed a finger against my lips, I kissed them and then dropped my head back, unsure of what was happening but loving the feeling of our bodies moving together like music, beautiful music that I never wanted to end. I moved my hips instinctively, feeling out of control. But this loss of control I would welcome anytime. It felt good. It made you fidgety and breathless. It was good we were alone because the sounds escaping my mouth would have awakened the dead.

Slade buried his head against my neck, his teeth biting down hard as his body tensed, he squeezed me closer and even tighter, kissing me deeply, and then seemed to lose his energy, his body finally coming to a stop. We stared into each other’s eyes, breathless. I kissed his cheek, his lips, his forehead, totally amazed.

He pressed his lips against my forehead, running his hand through my hair. The connection lingering as he held me in his arms. My heart raced. I rested my head against his chest, listening to his heartbeat, so fast yet calm.