Ink Lust (8 page)
Her eyes met his. He watched the sadness shift out of them just a little.
“I’m sorry you heard it first that way.” He could feel her relax a little beneath him, so he shifted, reluctantly disengaging from her body and giving her the space to get up and move away from him if she wanted. God, he prayed she didn’t want that.
Her leg slipped from around his waist but her hands slid into his hair.
“I love you,” he repeated, wishing he’d said it so much sooner. “I’ve been a goner since the first kiss. And can you blame me? It was some kiss.”
Her lips pursed, hiding a smile. He kissed her and she softened further.
“Tell me you feel the same.”
She sighed and nodded. It unsettled him a little that she didn’t say it back, but he’d take the nod for the moment.
“Let me take you to your room. We’ll get rid of the rest of our clothes, and I’ll make it up to you for fucking up royally today.”
She sighed and said, “Oh, all right.”
* * * * *
She’d been sitting out on the couch, covered in a throw and ignoring the cup of tea going cold in her hands for an hour when he came out of the bedroom. She wondered if she would ever not be caught off guard by the sight of him. Even with his hair a chaotic mess, his eyes bleary with sleep and pillow marks on his face, he took her breath away.
“You’re up early.” He lifted her feet and laid her legs across his lap as he sat near her. He narrowed his eyes and touched a hand to her cheek. “You okay?”
“I think things have gone too far with us,” she said quietly.
He frowned. “I didn’t realize we had a limit.”
Leni took in a deep, shaky breath and steeled herself. It was like ripping off a Band-Aid—just grit your teeth and pull. Right?
“We can’t be together, Jamie. I can’t give you what you want.”
“I pretty much only require an occasional feeding, good conversation and a whole lot of smokin’ hot sex, and you’ve given me more than my share of all three so far.”
She shook her head and pulled her knees up, tucking her toes against his leg.
“Babies,” she said. “I can’t give you babies. Not one, let alone a whole litter.”
His eyebrows went up slightly.
“I was much smaller than my sister when I was born, with a whole host of problems. I was susceptible to all kinds of respiratory infections when I was little, and I only have one kidney and one ovary.”
He angled himself toward her, but didn’t say anything.
“When I was twenty-one I was hospitalized for an ectopic pregnancy that did irreparable damage.” She wrapped her arms around her legs.
The pain of that day, of finding out she was never going to be able to have children of her own, had left her crushed and heartbroken for such a long time. She thought she’d put it far behind her, but it was still right there, just under the surface.
She took a deep breath. “I can’t get pregnant. Not ever.”
“And you think this is going to be a deal breaker for me?” he asked quietly.
Her eyes swam with tears and she nodded. “I can’t keep going knowing this is going to end someday. I was trying to be careful with myself, with my feelings, but suddenly I’m up to my eyes in love with you—”
“Just your eyes?” he interrupted.
She tried to smile but her heart wasn’t in it.
“I can’t see another way out except to just make a clean break, Jamie.”
He shrugged. “So stop looking.”
Her heart skipped.
“If you don’t want to see me anymore, Leni, say the word and I’ll walk away, but there’s no such thing as a clean break for me at this point.”
She just looked at him. Her head was spinning too fast to think straight.
“You know just as well as I do that there are dozens of solutions out there, including adoption.” He peeled one of her arms free and held her hand. “I’d bet money that cool-as-shit sister of yours would gladly donate her eggs so you could carry a baby if you really wanted to try.”
She laughed and swiped at the tears that rolled down her cheeks.
“Do you always have an answer for everything?”
“So far the questions have been easy.” He shifted her onto his lap. “Do you want me to walk away? Is that what this is about?”
Her vision wavered again. “I don’t.”
“Thank God,” he breathed, touching his forehead to hers. “Because I really don’t think I could at this point.”
Leni wrapped her arms around him. She could feel his heart beating strong, and hear hers answering the call. She loved the strength and security she felt in his arms, and she loved the reaction her body had to his every time he touched her.
“Listen to me.” He smoothed his hands over her hair and held her face. “I love you, and I’m in this no matter what.”
She was pretty sure her heart was going to burst out of her chest.
“I love you back,” she whispered, overwhelmed by the truth in the words.
“So what do ya say,” he kissed her closed eye, “we spend some time just being Leni and Jamie,” his lips touched her cheek, then the corner of her mouth, “before we worry about the serious stuff?” he finished, his mouth on hers.
“Deal,” she answered, sinking into his kiss.
After a minute he broke it with a sucking pop and suggested, “We should go be naked Leni and Jamie some more.” But she was already scrambling off his lap.
“Fantastic idea,” she said, pulling off her nightshirt as she jogged down the hall. “Hey.” She turned just inside the doorway. “You think one of these times you could be Leni and I’ll be Jamie?”
He caught her up in his arms and growled low against her neck as they moved toward the bed together.
“Anything you want, sweetheart.”
About the Author
Jayne Kingston was born, raised, and has always lived in the Northwest Ohio area. Her job gives her lots of free time to let her imagination run wild – it’s boring, but she rather likes that freedom of thought – and unlimited access to paper so she can jot down ideas as they pop into her head. (Seriously, the office supply nerd in her
loves
that part.)
She’s an avid fan of erotic romance and erotica of all genres who’d been writing rather vanilla contemporary love stories for years. She hadn’t thought to combine the two elements in her own writing until asking herself the question ‘what would happen if she showed up and put her hand down his pants?’ helped un-stick the rather boring plotline of a short story she wanted to write. She was off and running after that.
Jayne welcomes comments from readers. You can find her website and email addresses on her
author bio page
at
www.ellorascave.com
.
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Also by
Jayne Kingston
Ellora’s Cave Publishing
Ink Lust
ISBN 9781419940798
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Ink Lust Copyright © 2012 Jayne Kingston
Edited by April Chapman
Cover design by Syneca
Photo: Jeff Thrower
Electronic book publication July 2012
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