Innocence (43 page)

Feeling foolish for her reaction, she nevertheless remained where she was.

“We shall
all
keep you safe.” The King’s word took the tone of a vow. “I’ve got half the guard out searching for the villain and some nasty surprises in store for him once he’s caught. But enough of such distressing conversation. Lady Anneliese and I have discussed her options, and she has made her wishes known. Although I must admit to being a tad disappointed by her recalcitrance. Despite my offering her the very real possibility of marriage to a crown prince, my lovely young cousin has her heart set on a future as the Marchioness of Marsden.”

Nathaniel released a breath. “That’s very good news, indeed.”
 

“Yes, well. Don’t go getting ahead of yourself Lord Marsden. As the daughter of a foreign princess, Lady Anneliese does not require my approval to marry, but
you
certainly do. I’m hoping Sir George will make my life easier by withholding his blessing contingent on his daughter making a better
match than a mere marquis. Now that your father is no longer hounding me to see you wed to the Earl of Gladstone’s daughter, I
may
be able to strengthen an alliance by seeing you wed to a lesser foreign princess or duchess, but Anneliese could be queen of her own country one day.”

Lisa whimpered, and her father sent her a reassuring glance before addressing the King.
 

“I believe my daughter has been through enough these past few months, Your Majesty, and I am hoping you will show her clemency by honouring her wishes. If she wants to marry Lord Marsden, then she has my blessing, dependent on certain conditions being met, of course.”
 

Her father speared Nathaniel with a pointed look, leading Lisa to believe they must have come to an agreement amidst the threats of violence.
 

“But before any decision is made, I believe the young couple require a few moments in private,” he added.
 

“Are you sure that’s wise?”
 

Lisa’s shoulders hunched at the King’s inference she and Nathaniel would behave inappropriately at the slightest opportunity.
 

“There are matters Lord Marsden and I must discuss before we can make any decisions regarding the future, Your Majesty,” she said.

“Really?” The King’s expression lightened. “Your affections are not quite so fixed as you led me to believe? Ah . . . the fickleness of youth. Very well then.” He gestured to the French doors that opened onto the courtyard. “Sir George, if you approve, I think the garden would be a suitable location for the young couple to conduct their discussion while we sit and enjoy our tea, observing from a discreet distance, of course.”

“Thank you, Your Majesty.”
 

Her father granted his permission with a nod, and Lisa and Nathaniel stood. With her hand resting on his arm, they walked through the doors to the flower-strewn courtyard.

“Shall we take a seat?” He gestured to a carved garden bench once they had put enough distance between them and their audience to be able to speak privately.
 

Nodding, Lisa sat, the air between them filling with tension.
 

“I thought I’d never see you again,” she whispered. Tears welled in her eyes, and she quickly blinked them away.

“Don’t cry.” Nathaniel caressed her cheek, and she allowed herself the indulgence of briefly leaning into his hand. “We’re together now, and nothing will ever separate us again, I promise. That’s if you
do
want to marry me?”
 

“Of course, I do. But there
are
things we need to talk about.”

“Agreed. Beginning with my apologising profusely, repeatedly, and from the bottom of my heart for the way I treated you. You must think me a worse scoundrel than Copeland, not to mention an utter fool for ignoring the obvious fact you were not and never could be a commoner.”

“Why couldn’t I be?”
 

Nathaniel’s brow furrowed with confusion.
 

“Why
couldn’t
I
be a commoner, just one who had received an uncommon education?” Lisa repeated, surprising herself with the direction of her thoughts. She had not intended to raise this topic, but Nathaniel’s words triggered an outpouring of the indignation that had been brewing within her for some time.
 

“Is the blood that flows through my veins really so superior to that of Ruth’s, with her kind heart, or Mrs Donaldson’s, with her organisational skills and vast knowledge of housekeeping? What about Henson’s leadership ability or Chef Peters’s creative talent? They’re but a few of the commoners we both know, fine intelligent people whose only difference to us are the opportunities and education we’ve received and they have not. Are we, of the ruling class, with our superficiality and disdain for hard work really so superior to those who must rely on their wits and abilities to survive?”

Nathaniel bowed his head in her direction.
 

“I stand, or rather
sit
, corrected by a valid opinion from one of the few members of our society to have experienced life on either side of the divide. But while I see your point, you might not want to make it too loudly considering your current location.” He glanced towards their audience. “The King is not exactly open to reform, and he might think you’re in league with those advocating for revolution here in Britain.”

Lisa smiled sheepishly. “I didn’t mean to get carried away. It’s just my experiences have caused me to question the status quo. While I would never dismiss the dangers or hardships, there were aspects to living as a commoner I found almost appealing. I can’t tell you how many times I wished
you
were of a lower station, so we could have married and made a life together away from the strictures of society
.
”

“You almost received your wish. Losing you . . .” He closed his eyes, and it took a moment before he could continue speaking. “Losing you, merely confirmed how much you mean to me. I was serious in my intention to give it all away if that’s what it took for us to be together, though I wasn’t sure how I’d go about winning you back if I was stripped of everything and on the run. Which could still happen,” he added grimly.

Lisa gave a feeble laugh. “I’ve always wanted to travel, though living abroad permanently wasn’t quite what I had in mind. I suppose my father could visit us . . .” Her words trailed away, before she shook her head. “What am I saying? Nathaniel, you can’t defy the King. There is too much at stake.”

“Hopefully it won’t come to that.” He squeezed her hand. “His Majesty may yet grant his approval, though I need
your
assent first. You rejected my earlier proposal, not that I blame you.”

“Under the circumstances, I thought it best. I was trying not to be selfish, though it broke my heart to leave you on a lie.”

Nathaniel stroked her cheek in that way of his that warmed her to her very soul.
 

“My brave, beautiful, self-sacrificing girl,” he murmured. “Although I think there may have been more to your refusal, and I believe those same concerns are at the heart of your current reservations.”

Lisa’s hopes rose that Nathaniel was about to lay to rest her fears, that he wanted her exactly as she was and didn’t expect her to alter her behaviour towards him one whit.
 

“You think I’ll be unfaithful,” he continued, and she blinked.
 

That was
another
fear, though not as potent.
 

“I couldn’t bear the thought of our being married and you spending time with another woman,” she admitted.
 

“Oh, Lisa. I deserve the horse-whipping your father threatened for the dreadful picture I painted of marriage.”

“You merely enlightened me as to the way things are done amongst those of our class, well, amongst the nobility and aristocracy, at any rate,” she said. “My father told me he never kept a mistress, and you’ve mentioned your
father intends remaining faithful to Margaret, so I gather it’s possible.”

“Of course, it’s
possible
, just not normally expected,” Nathaniel said wryly. “But I can assure you, I fully intend to remain faithful. I would give you my word as a gentleman, but after the way I’ve behaved, I doubt that would stand for very much. What I can do is promise you, from this day forth, earning your trust is my highest priority.”

“You will honour your wedding vows?” Lisa asked, determined there should be no ambiguity between them.

“Until death do us part. You are the only woman for me, Lisa, only you . . .
ever
.”

“What about your expectations of how I should behave when we are alone together as man and wife?”
 

Her heart pounded against the wall of her chest as she awaited his answer.
 

“Oh, Lisa.” He hung his head. “When I think of the things I said, the things I
did
, what I expected of you.”
 

He shuddered, and her heart fell.
 

“I’m not cold and unfeeling, Nathaniel.”
 

“No, but you’re a lady not a . . . a . . .” He spread his hands helplessly.
 

“You think only whores and mistresses should behave as I did.”

“It’s not your fault, Lisa. I gave you no choice.” He took both her hands in his. “I am so very sorry for the way I treated you, the things I made you do. I took you on my desk in broad daylight, for God’s sake, where anyone could—and
did—
come barging in. You think I would treat my
wife
that way?”

Lisa winced at the memory of his cousin and friends coming upon them and the frightening things they had said. A locked door would have been preferable, but that did not mean she’d disliked what and Nathaniel had done
before
they were interrupted.
 

“It wasn’t
all
terrible.” She stared at their joined hands.
 

For a long moment there was silence. Her lower lip trembled, and he caressed her chin with his forefinger, slowly raising it so she could not hide from his gaze.

“Sweetheart, I love you, and I am very much looking forward to
making
love to you. But as your husband, you can rest assured I would never treat you with such disrespect. You’re a lady, my darling Lisa, or would you prefer I call you Anneliese?”

Anneliese was a more fitting name for one of her station, but she was hesitant to give up the name by which he knew her.
 

“I prefer Lisa,” she whispered.

“Lisa it is.”
 

Nathaniel smiled, but she couldn’t quite muster one in response.
 

“You told me ladies were incapable of passion, but we both know that’s not true of me. Do you expect me to deny mine?”

“No!” Nathaniel sat back. “I merely meant that as my wife, I would treat you with more respect than I did when I thought of you as my mistress. I made
demands
upon you, Lisa, offended your tender sensibilities
repeatedly
, expected things of you no gentleman should expect of his wife—”

“I understand.” Lisa interjected, coming to a decision.

Of course, it must be difficult for Nathaniel to adjust to the notion the woman he had considered perfect mistress material, one who had indulged his every passionate whim, was also suitable to be his wife. Despite her previous convictions, a life spent without Nathaniel was not an option she was willing to contemplate, especially when it would most likely involve marriage to some foreign prince or other.
 

Compromise was in order.
 

Nathaniel loved her, and he was looking forward to
making
love to her. As long as he didn’t expect her to be completely unfeeling and find no pleasure in the process, she would do her best to fulfil whatever expectations he might have of her as his wife.

“I’ll try not to disappoint you,” she said.
 

“You have absolutely nothing to fear in that regard.” He raised her hand to his mouth. “And I promise you will find me an exemplary husband.”

“Will you still want to kiss me?”
 

“Of course! That’s if you still desire it. After the way I treated you, I would understand if you had reservations—”

“No, I look forward to you kissing me again . . . when it’s appropriate for you to do so, of course.”

“So do I, my love. So do I.”

Sighing with relief at the husky timbre of Nathaniel’s words, Lisa regretted her lack of a fan. The thought of kissing him had caused her blood to heat. She swayed towards him, and he steadied her with his free hand.

“Later, sweetheart,” he whispered, his eyes dark and filled with promise.

Lisa couldn’t keep the smile from her face. It would be all right. Things would be
different
between them now that he knew her true identity, but it was clear to her Nathaniel was sincere in his affections. Although he did seem a little misguided regarding what she would and would not find offensive.

He moved to kneel before her, and Lisa’s smile faded. Nathaniel wanted her for his wife, not because marriage to her was the most advantageous political alliance he could form, but because he loved her, maybe not
exactly
as she was, but close enough.