Inquest (32 page)

“Put me down,”
I growl through gritted teeth.

“No. You’re
hurt. I won’t let you get hurt again.”

My hand
reaches up to his face. There is no softness in my touch as I grab
his chin, pulling so his eyes are scant inches from mine. The hope
in his eyes makes me want to crush the strong, square jaw that
makes girls drool over him. He actually thinks I’m going to kiss
him. My fingers tighten reflexively, drawing a wince from him.

“Put me down,”
I demand. “I don’t need you to protect me anymore.”

“Anymore? I’ve
been protecting you this whole time! I watch your back every second
I can. I’ve stopped Angus from attacking you more times than you
know. Protecting you is one thing I never stopped doing.”

Confirmation
of my suspicions about Lance douses my anger like cold water. I
can’t put the same venom into my voice as I did a few seconds ago.
“Lance, it isn’t your job to keep me safe anymore. It’s
Milo’s.”

“Why?” he
demands. “Why Milo instead of me? He’s nobody, some freak
transplant from who knows where with barely one worthless talent to
his name. There is something wrong with him, something very wrong.
I don’t know what it is yet, but he’s hiding something. You can’t
seriously want to be with that guy. Why him?”

This time I do
slap him. Prideful anger hardens his features. He sets me back on
the ground stiffly and I cling to the fountain for support. “Don’t
talk about Milo like that, Lance. You have no business making
judgments about anyone else at this point.”

“I’m better
than him and you know it,” Lance argues.

I scoff at his
delusion. “You want to know why Milo and not you? Because Milo
never would have abandoned me like you did. Your daddy scared you
into turning on me. Howe threatened you? Well, he threatened me
too! You think you’re so powerful because you’re training to be a
Guardian, but if you really had any strength, you would have stood
up to both of them. You wouldn’t have left me. I’m not going to
take you back and wait around for your guilt and hormones to wear
off so you can walk out on me again. I’m not stupid enough to fall
for your promises a second time.”

If I had my
crutches I would walk away now, but since I can’t even bend down to
get them without falling over, I have to settle for turning away.
Lance just won’t let up. He grabs my shoulder and turns me back
around. The intensely possessive glint in his eyes startles me. “I
won’t walk away from you again, Libby. I was wrong to do it the
first time, no excuses, no asking for forgiveness. I was weak,
stupid, a coward, call me anything you want, but I promise you I
will never leave you again.”

I can feel the
honesty in his claim, but apparently he doesn’t think that will be
enough.

Lance’s hand
leaves my shoulder, presses against the Guardian emblem on the hilt
of his dagger, then to his forehead and heart. I watch each step
feeling like I am trapped in a Matrix-style slow motion scene. My
whole body is trembling. The motions he just showed me, I know them
very well. A Guardian Oath is binding, physically binding. The band
of diktats on Lance’s wrist blaze scarlet, like they have just been
raised, then fade back into the puckered white of scarred flesh.
His body tightens as the oath imprints itself onto his being, but
his eyes are aglow with defiant pleasure. Every ounce of my weight
falls against the fountain, my one good leg threatening to buckle
and drop me again.

“What did you
just do?” I whisper.

“It was the
only way I could make you believe me, Libby.”

My head starts
shaking back and forth. “No, no, no, no. Lance, what have you
done?”

“I did what I
had to. I’ll never leave you. I couldn’t even if I wanted to now,”
he says. He seems to find some kind of humor in that.

Oh please,
there has to be some way to reverse this. There has to be. I can’t
walk around linked to Lance. Please, I beg, even though I know
there is no hope. “I don’t want you, Lance.”

“You will,” he
says. “I know you will.” The back of his fingers trail down my
cheek. My whole body shivers in fear of that statement coming
true.

Anger and
confusion battle for control of me. Anger wins easily. I shove him
away from me, and say, “Get away from me, Lance. Leave me alone,
now.”

Lance takes a
step closer to me despite my demand. A voice from behind me stops
him and causes his face to darken to an angry black.

“She said she
wants you to leave, Lance. I think you should respect her wishes,”
Milo says.

Gratitude
bubbles in my chest, followed immediately by dread. How long has he
been standing there? I didn’t think I could feel any worse than I
did a moment ago, but I am horribly wrong. Only a long, deep breath
keeps me from losing everything in my stomach. Please let him have
just walked up. Please, please, please.

“Are you going
to try and make me leave, Milo?” Lance sneers. “What a laugh. You
can’t do a thing to me.”

“I think you’d
be surprised by how much I can do to you if I really want to,
Lance.” Milo stalks forward, facing Lance without a hint of concern
or doubt.

Lance takes it
as a challenge. “Fine. You want to see what a Guardian can do? I’d
be more than happy to show you.” His right hand clenches into a
fist as his shoulder rotates into the beginning of a punch that I
know will be backed with everything he has. Lance doesn’t do things
halfway. I reach forward in the fraction of a second it takes Lance
to move in an attempt to stop him. Milo’s own fist barrels past me.
Blood blossoms on Lance’s face. He flies back into the wall and
slides to the floor with a thud. He stares at Milo in complete and
total shock. I’m pretty sure I have the same expression on my face.
He never should have gotten to Lance so fast.

“Who are you?”
Lance asks, blood bubbling and bursting on his lips as he
speaks.

Milo’s grin is
fierce and slightly terrifying. “Just some freak transplant,” he
says.

My heart
drops. Lance said that before the Guardian Oath. Milo must have
seen everything. Was he there before that, too? Did he see Lance
kiss me? This is worse than my Inquest. At least at my Inquest I
had the hope of dying. The fact that both of these two are intent
on saving me means there’s no escape from the humiliation.

Milo picks up
my crutches and hands them back to me. I slip them into place
completely numb. Milo presses his hand into the small of my back
but turns toward the still bleeding Lance before guiding me away.
“Oh, and Lance,” he pauses, glancing down at his fist, “I think you
might be right about me hiding something. Have fun trying to find
out what it is.”

Chapter 26

Found

After Lance
stomps away to go clean himself off, Milo’s hand drops from my back
and he does a little stomping of his own. Right out of the school.
I’m confused, repulsed, and scared, but I know I have to follow
him. My limping half-run hurts horribly. I push the pain away and
barrel through the doors. Milo is halfway to the football field. I
call out to him, but he doesn’t turn around. When I cross onto the
grass the rubber tip of my crutches sinks into the soft soil,
yanking the crutch out from under me and sending me sprawling to
the ground.

The heated
string of curses that flies out of my mouth is enough to stop Milo.
He walks back to me slowly, but doesn’t help me up. Anger surrounds
him like a storm cloud. Guardian or not, he could have passed for
one given his build, stance, and murderous glare. I can’t help
shrinking back into the grass just a little. He saw everything.
There is no doubt in my mind that he saw the kiss. It’s a miracle
he stopped at punching Lance in the face.

“Milo, look, I
know you’re mad,” I start.

His face is
impassive but he can’t fool me. “Don’t do that to me, Libby,” he
demands. “Don’t sift through my emotions like game pieces you can
twist and play with. You know I can’t block you. The least you can
do is keep out of my head.”

Something
about what he’s saying hits me as wrong. It will have to wait,
though. “You’re pissed at Lance. I get that, but…”

Bitter
laughter explodes from his chest. “Lance? Sure, I’d like to punch
his pretty face a few more times, but…” He doesn’t finish because
his jaw tightens too much to let any more words out.

Realization
hits me right in the gut. “You’re mad at me?”

“What? You
think I shouldn’t be?” he scoffs.

“I…” I didn’t
ask Lance to do any of what he did. It wasn’t my fault. But I can’t
make myself argue with him. Not with the guilt swirling around
inside of me.

“What were you
even doing with him, Libby? I get out of class to come find you and
make sure you were able to take your pain medication, and you’re
standing in the hall making out with your ex-boyfriend! Why the
hell would I be mad about that?” His hands fly up then smack down
on the top of his head.

“I wasn’t
making out with him!”

Milo rolls his
eyes. “Right, right,
he
kissed
you
. There’s a huge
difference.”

His sarcasm
infuriates me. I yank my crutch out of the ground and get myself
back to my feet on my own. “He
did
kiss me! Did it look like
I was kissing him back?
You
should know that if I’m enjoying
a kiss I do a little more than stand there with my hands at my
side.”

“Well, you
certainly weren’t trying to get away from him,” Milo accuses.

“I was in
shock, for crying out loud! The last time I saw Lance, he was
glaring at me and trying to incite riots against me. He caught me
completely off guard!”

Milo stalks a
few feet away from me and hangs his head. “But you wanted him to
say all that stuff, didn’t you.”

“Yes, I did,”
I admit, “but I wanted him to say it the night of my Inquest.
Now…it doesn’t matter what he says now. It doesn’t change the past
few months.”

“You didn’t
enjoy hearing him say he’s still in love with you and begging you
to take him back? You can’t honestly tell me that didn’t affect you
at all.”

Managing
anything even remotely romantic while tethered to crutches is
impossible, so I have to make do with limping over to him and
laying my head on his chest. “The only part of me that enjoyed that
conversation was the vindictive part that has been begging me to
punch him for leaving me in the first place.”

“Do you want
him back?” Milo asks quietly.

I don’t even
have to think about it.

“Milo, I want
you.” That much I’m not confused about. Everything Lance said, I
believe it. He was a coward for not standing up for me, but he
never abandoned me completely. I believe him, but I’m not sure what
I will do with that knowledge yet. Forgiveness? Acceptance? What I
do know is that I don’t want to lose Milo.

“Libby,” Milo
says quietly, “he’s right about me, you know. What Lance said is
true. I’m nobody. Fewer talents than he even thinks and hunted by
the Guardians. I can’t protect you like he can.”

“He has to
protect me whether he wants to or not, now,” I mutter, “but that’s
not the point. Even if Lance was my only chance at survival, I
still wouldn’t take him back as my boyfriend just because he said
he was sorry. I’ll use him, for sure, but just his talents. I won’t
walk away from you just because Lance has a better chance of
protecting me.”

The tension I
was hoping would fade from his shoulders doesn’t happen. Milo looks
up at me, but his face looks even more clouded than before. “What
was Lance talking about when he said he’d been watching your back
this entire time? He didn’t mean that literally, did he?”

“Actually, he
did,” I say, fearing this one little secret will send Milo into
another fit of anger.

“What? Why
didn’t you tell me?”

“I was afraid
of what might happen if I told you.” Seeing the frustration in
Milo’s eyes, I hurry on. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, Milo. I was
worried about how you would react, how Lance would react if you
confronted him. I thought you two would get in a fight. I can’t
stand the idea of you getting hurt.”

“Libby, what
if he had been spying on you instead of watching out for you? How
do you know he’s telling you the truth?”

“I think he
already proved he was protecting me. Lance really has helped me
out. Angus tried to attack me in gym and Lance stopped him. And I
think Angus was going to try something at the dance, too, but Lance
wouldn’t let him.” I take a deep breath. “I know Lance has made a
lot of mistakes with me, but I do believe him on this. Lance has
never once lied to me. All I can do is ask you to trust me on
this.”

Milo still
seems angry and pretty far from taking my word about Lance, but
apparently he has too many other questions to fight me about it at
the moment. “What did you mean when you said Lance has to protect
you now? What was that thing he did with his diktats?”

My body goes
cold. He saw, but he didn’t know what was happening. I forget
sometimes that Lance knows a lot more about being a Guardian than
most people because of his dad. Guardian Oaths aren’t discussed
much outside the brotherhood. My eyes close as I mentally berate
myself for my stupidity. If Milo never knew what Lance did, all the
better for everyone involved. I had the chance to keep him out of
it, and I blew it. Regardless of the fact that his phony Perception
talent will do nothing to catch me trying to deceive him, I can’t
lie to Milo. He is the one person I don’t have to pretend
around.

“Libby?” Milo
asks, even bringing his hand to my cheek to entice me to answer
him.

I fall for the
lure and open my eyes. “Have you ever heard of a Guardian
Oath?”