Insatiable (11 page)

He looked at me. I could see him considering, thinking. I wondered what went on behind those wonderfully clear eyes of his.

Then, instead of replying, he turned around and went back over to the window. “I really do love this view. You know, if you hadn’t had me put up in that hotel, I wouldn’t have bought this place and this view. I really should thank you.”

I grimaced. “No thanks necessary. Approval on these alterations, on the other hand...”

He didn’t answer me. From here, I couldn’t help noticing the figure he cut. Nice, broad shoulders and chest with tapered waist. I bet he had a six-pack underneath that shirt, too.

And a great butt, too. I bet it was nice and firm...

I shook my head.
God, I’m behaving like Anne!
It was almost magical, this man’s effects on women.

Fine, if he wants me to come up there with him I’ll go up there. But only to give him the USB stick!
Besides, from that close I could keep my eyes from admiring his body. I hoped I could, anyway.

So I sighed, took another breath, and went up there. I stopped beside him. He didn’t look at me. I could see our translucent reflections in the window glass.

I could smell him, too. Ward seemed to be of the less is more school when it came to cologne. Enough scent to give a hint, to make you want more.
Probably another way he gets women to come closer to him.

“Here,” I said, “Take it.” I offered the USB stick, the little metal connector on the end catching some of the light from the sunset.

Vaughn reached, his fingers wrapping around mine. His skin was soft and warm against mine. That warmth made me swallow. I didn’t pull back.

We looked out the window a little while longer before his eyes turned to me. They weren’t as clear as I’d first thought. No, there was a storm in them. A storm that threatened to consume him and then me. My mouth went dry. My lips parted slightly.

He still didn’t let go of my hand. “Quinn,” he said.

“Yes?”

“I want you. And I know you want me, too.”

“Do you?” I replied. That heat from his hand started spreading through me. I tried telling myself that I did want him, but only on a physical level. Who wouldn’t? But part of being an adult was knowing when to ignore what you wanted.

I could tell myself whatever I wanted and it didn’t have any effect. This close, he was magnetic. Little electric tingles kept running across the surface of my skin, awakening all my senses.

It was like my body wanted to feel every sensation it could, and to the fullest extent. The past and the future closed off, leaving only the present. The world shrank until only Ward and I occupied it.

I wanted to pull my hand out of his, but I didn’t. I didn’t want him to kiss me again, but I did.

I wanted that and more. I wanted all of it; I wanted all of him. I took a deep breath, but it didn’t steady me at all.

“I do. You know, since we met I don’t think more than a few minutes have gone by without you in my thoughts,” he said.

We still didn’t look at each other. We both seemed to know that if we let our eyes meet we wouldn’t be able to stop what happened after.

I could look at his reflection safely, though, and I did. “It’s only been a few days,” I said, “You hardly know me. How can you think you want me so much?”

“Some things you just know right away,” he replied. His reflected face grinned.

“We shouldn’t,” I said, wondering if I was trying to convince him or myself.
Maybe both
.

“Will you try and stop me?” Ward asked, his eyes regarding my reflection. I didn’t reply, because I didn’t know the answer.

Then he stopped looking at my reflection and looked at the real me instead. I wished he wouldn’t; my reflection looked so much nicer than the real me. It was so vague you couldn’t see the freckles, for one. And it softened all the lines I thought were too harsh.

“Quinn,” Ward said, urging me to look at him, to let myself fall under the spell of his charm again.

Don’t
, I thought. But my willpower melted fast. I turned towards him. I don’t know if his hand actually became hotter against mine or if I just thought it did. Either way, his fingers burned.

I kept my eyes on the collar of his shirt. He kept the top three buttons undone, giving me a glimpse of what looked like sculpted muscle. It was tantalizing, I admit. And much easier to look at than his eyes.

He cupped my cheek like he did before, tilting my head back.

When our eyes met, a cold tremble ran through me. It was fear and anticipation and desire all in one. My lips parted and I breathed sharply through them.

“Ward...” I said, my eyes searching his. That storm I saw earlier had built to even greater proportion in him. I could feel its intensity washing over me, ready to drown me in its deluge.

“Call me Vaughn,” he said, “Or I’ll start calling you Miss Windsor.”

I thought he might kiss me right away, but he didn’t. I didn’t know if it was a calculated move or not, but it made every nerve in my body sing. He kept looking at me, letting his eyes scan my face.

It was like he was trying to commit every contour to memory. I couldn’t remember the last time any man had looked at me, really looked at me, like that.

“I don’t want to be just another one of your conquests,” I said.

“And what if I wanted you to be my final one?” he replied.

I didn’t have anything to say to that. I thought he might kiss me then, but he still refrained. Instead, he finally released my hand from his. My skin prickled at the sudden sensation of cold.

“What...” I asked when he started lifting that hand.

But then I knew what he wanted to do. He reached up and plucked the pins from my hair again. Once more, my hair tumbled down to my shoulders.

My breathing became faster. I couldn’t get enough air. The room felt ten degrees hotter than before.

He cupped my other cheek so that my face tilted back slightly in his hands. Without really thinking about it, I slipped my hands around his waist, between his jacket and his shirt.

I could feel the warmth of his body, feel the way his torso expanded and then shrank with each breath.

He smiled. It wasn’t one of his crooked, roguish ones this time. It was a real smile. “You haven’t told me to stop.”

“You’re right, I haven’t,” I replied.

And then he did press his mouth to mine. We fit together so nicely. My eyes closed, letting me better concentrate on the sensation of his lips against mine.

Again, they were gentle yet insistent. Hot with desire. His stubble prickled me lightly. My fingers squeezed into his sides when the full force of the kiss hit me.

Electricity crackled within us, that storm building in intensity, crossing from him to me over and over.

A ball of heat burned inside me, down low and getting lower with each beat of my heart.

Then his hands left my face. He traced his fingers down my shoulders, down my arms. Reaching my waist, he pushed his hands between my blouse and my jacket. Then he pulled me hard against him.

His mouth slid off mine, moving down my jaw to my throat. His hot breaths washed over my skin again and again.

“You are so hot,” he said. Then he pulled my blouse up out of my pants. His fingertips ran along the bare strip of skin he’d revealed along my hips. His touch made my skin tingle.

I loved feeling his hands explore me. I loved how his touch made me buzz with desire inside.

His hands slid down from my hips, cupping my ass. He continued kissing my neck, nuzzling his mouth against me. He squeezed and I gasped.

“Tell me you want me,” he said between kisses. One hand stayed on my ass while the other slid down my thigh. He grabbed my knee and pulled it up along his body, forcing us closer together.

“Tell me,” he said again, his voice insistent, laden with the need to hear me say the words.

He let my leg drop slowly, then he ran both hands up my back, under my blouse. The warmth from his palms soaked into me, almost matching the heat that burned inside of me.

I wanted to tell him I that I did want him. I wanted to so badly. But I couldn’t stop my mind from calling up Stacey telling me to be careful, or Alisha, telling me to stay away.

And I could still smell Alisha’s perfume in the room. What kind of man was Ward? The kind of man who seduced women and then left them. The kind of man I shouldn’t be around. The kind of man I told myself I’d never be with again.

But his hands feel so nice
. And his kisses along the delicate skin of my throat were the perfect mix of insistent and gentle. The softness of his lips and the prickle of his stubble intoxicated me, and I wanted to feel him slide those lips all over my body.

I knew he wanted to feel that, too.

He started unbuttoning my blouse, started letting his lips slide down between my breasts, which heaved with every deep breath I took to try and supply my body with all the air it craved.

“Say it,” Ward said.

It took everything I had to push him away. Without our bodies pressing together, I felt cold. My desire cried out within me to grab him and hold him close again, but I resisted.

“No,” I said. That ball of heat inside me dissolved, sending tendrils of warmth up into my skin. My lips felt raw and tender. “I don’t want this.”

“Yes, you do,” Ward said. He took a step towards me and I took a step back. When he saw that, he stopped.

I did and I didn’t. I needed time to collect myself, so I turned away from him. I redid the buttons he’d undone on my blouse. From the corners of my eyes I could see my hair hanging loose around my shoulder.

I still had the hair elastic in my pocket from the previous night, so I took it out and put my hair back in a ponytail. It would do, for now.

“Quinn, stop lying to yourself,” Ward said.

I couldn’t look at him. Not yet. So I stared out at the wall. It was a raw brick one, and my eyes wandered over the little gaps in the mortar. “Am I the one lying to myself? Are you sure you aren’t? I think you’re searching for something, but not even you are sure what it is. And every time you don’t find it, you push the other person away without considering their feelings. And I can’t be hurt like that.”

Not again
, I added, but in my mind only.
Everyone has baggage
, I thought, remembering the way Alisha told me Ward was damaged.

“But it would be so good. We both know that,” Ward said. I could feel him standing behind me, his presence solid and large. My body ached, and I wanted him to wrap his arms around me and pull me against him again. I knew I couldn’t let him, though.

“Just because something would be good doesn’t mean that it’s also right,” I said. I hoped he understand the difference.

Tension built behind me. I could feel it so that the hairs on the back of my neck stood. And then it dissipated.

Ward didn’t say anything. He turned around and went and sat on the couch, throwing his arms across the back.

My knees trembled for a few seconds while my body calmed down. Now that all that warmth was gone, everything felt cold. I even did up a couple buttons on my jacket.

And it was still light outside. I thought it was funny how something important could feel like it lasted forever but in actuality probably only took a few minutes.

Be professional
, I thought. It was a ridiculous thought, I knew, but I needed something to fall back on. Something to keep me from thinking about what might have happened.

I looked at Ward, and Ward looked at me. At first, I thought he might apologize. He didn’t. I suppose he was one of those types who didn’t see the need to apologize for the way they felt, for following their desires.

“If we go down to your study, I can show you my proposed changes,” I said, wanting nothing less than to leave this house. I knew I couldn’t though. Not if I wanted to keep my job.

“I don’t really care about that right now,” Ward said. He looked back over his shoulder out the window. We both got quiet so that the dull noises from the street reached us. The hum of an engine. Someone laughing as they walked by.

“Then I’ll go, and later I can send you a message with the details,” I said, not liking that feeling of emptiness stretching between us.

Of course, home didn’t sound that great, either. I would be alone there. Unless Mary asked me to watch the kids again. I really did need to go and adopt a cat or something.

“No,” Ward said, “I have a better idea.”

“What might that be?”

“There’s a pub down at that corner I’ve been meaning to try. A few drinks sound really nice to me right now. And I think you’d be lying if you disagreed on that point.”

I felt wary, but at the same time I admitted he was right. If there was ever a time I needed a drink or two it was right then. It might give me a sense of warmth inside, however false, to replace the coldness.

“Fine. Just drinks, though. Nothing else.”

“Just drinks,” he said, nodding.

We went down the stairs. I kept thinking how strange it was that someone like Vaughn Ward wanted to go someone as pedestrian as a corner pub. Judging by what I’d seen of him so far – driving expensive cars, buying expensive houses on a whim, dating beautiful and famous women – he’d want to go to some fancy restaurant.

But I guess I was wrong about him in that way. Which made me wonder what else I might be wrong about.

V
AUGHN

We got to the pub and seated ourselves on stools at the bar. It was a nice place, as far as pubs went. Very Irish feeling with its Irish flag hanging behind the bar, and little leprechaun ornaments at various places. There was a digital countdown to St. Patrick’s Day as well.

The place smelled like Guinness and felt a touch too commercial, but I didn’t mind. There were only a few other people in the booths, and no one else at the bar.

“What now?” Quinn said.

The stool was high enough that her feet dangled off the floor. When she swung her head to look around, her ponytail swished back and forth. I wanted to reach out and catch it.