Inside Heat (21 page)

Megan slipped between the sheets. She’d never been more exhausted in her life. Not even the extra coffee she’d had on the drive home, or the sunlight peeking through the blinds could keep her awake.

* * * *

Two days later, a familiar figure waited for her as she left the hospital. “I thought you said you would give me time.”

“I did say that. I was hoping you would let me buy you breakfast. I think we need to get to know each other. I know we’ve lived together for a while, but things have changed. I want to see if we can build a new relationship – just you and me.”

“And breakfast will do that?”

“It’s a place to start.”

For the next few months,she never knew when Jeff would be waiting for her. He managed to drop by several times a week. He never asked for more than to spend time with her, and she was grateful because she was terribly afraid all he had to do was crook his finger and she’d fall into his arms.

Jeff was working hard to get back into playing form. He’d gained full mobility in his elbow, even though he still wore a brace. Training the transplanted tendon to act as a ligament took time, and persistence. He complained about the way Stacey pushed him, but beneath the complaints was a grudging respect for her professional abilities.

The holidays came and went. Jeff and Jason invited their family to visit so Jeff wouldn’t have to miss his physical therapy. Megan declined an invitation to join them, opting to work extra shifts so the other nurses could spend time with their families. It was a glimpse into her future – if she couldn’t find her way to accept what Jeff was offering. She knew in her heart that there would never be anyone else for her.

Chapter Twenty

Jason left for the Mustangs’ Spring Training facility in Arizona, and Jeff was alone. Nearly five months post-op and his arm was healed, but he was still a long way from being ready to pitch. He was still doing the plyometric exercises, but now Stacey had added weight training to strengthen his arm in hopes of preventing a recurrence of the injury. It was tedious and frustrating. He’d recently been given the go-ahead to start throwing again. It wasn’t pitching, but it involved holding a baseball, and that fueled his ambition to keep going.

Used to being part of the team, he missed the camaraderie of his teammates. He missed Jason. And most of all, he missed Megan. As each day passed, he regretted more and more his promise to let her have all the time she needed. He hadn’t pushed for a physical relationship, transferring his physical needs into countless hours in the gym, and running. He’d run more miles in the last few months than he’d driven, and that was about the saddest statement of fact he’d ever heard. It was time to at least let Megan know how he felt. With a little luck, she’d have similar feelings.

He chose his time wisely. Megan had two days off in a row. He called the day before and told her he was too tired to come into town, but maybe she could come out to the house the next day. He’d throw some steaks on the grill and they could spend some time in the pool. She hesitated, but eventually agreed to his plan. It would be the first time she’d been back to his house since the day she left, and if he played his cards right, she might stay both days. His hands itched to touch her again.

* * * *

Megan took a deep breath and steered her car under the portico only visitors used. Jeff waited for her on the doorstep, looking as good as ever. He no longer wore the protective brace on his elbow, and the surgical scars were nothing more than thin pink lines that would eventually fade completely. From the smile on his face, no one would guess what he’d been through, or sense the anxiety she knew he still harbored about getting back into the game.

He opened the car door before she’d cut the engine off. “God, I’m glad to see you.” She went into his open arms. “I’ve missed you.”

“It’s only been a few days, Jeff.”

“Maybe, but it’s been forever since you were here. It’s good to have you home.”

Megan stiffened and he let her go. She grabbed her purse and followed him into the house. “This isn’t my home anymore.”

“It could be.”

Megan accepted the bottled water Jeff took from the fridge. “I don’t know if I’m ready for that, and I don’t know if you are either. Jason still lives here.”

“Why don’t we sit down?” She followed him into the den. Nothing had changed. It was still a man-cave, and tidier than she expected.

“You must have hired a housekeeper,” she said as she settled into Jason’s favorite recliner.

“We did. That’s one of the things I wanted to talk to you about. Until you left, we didn’t comprehend all the things you did for us. I want to apologize for that. We took advantage of you, in more ways than one.” Megan didn’t miss the veiled reference to their sexual relationship. They hadn’t spoken about it in months. Perhaps it was time.

“No you didn’t. Everything I did, I did because I wanted to. That includes having sex with Jason – alone, and with you.”

“I understand that now. I know we can’t go back and change things, but I would like to make a fresh start – to give it – to give
us
another chance.”

“I won’t lie to you, Jeff. Jason is more to me than just someone I once slept with. He always will be, but I don’t want a repeat. From the first moment I met you, I wanted to be with you. I never would have slept with Jason if you hadn’t initiated it. I’m not going to say I didn’t enjoy the things we did together. I did. Very much. But it was always you that I felt a connection with, not Jason.”

“I think I can live with that. I didn’t know what it was to love someone the way I love you. Jason and I have always shared a connection, but as you well know, we’re different people. More so as we get older. It’s time for us to grow up, and I think we are.”

“Growing up doesn’t mean you have to grow apart. I’d hate to think I came between you.”

“It’s not you, Megan. It’s us. We’re alike, but we need different things. I need you.”

“And Jason doesn’t.”

“No, Jason doesn’t. If he did, he’d fight for you, but he’s not. He loves you, but he doesn’t need you to make his life complete. I can’t imagine being with anyone else, Megan. I don’t want to be with anyone else.”

The wall she’d spent so long building around her heart began to weaken. She was hopelessly in love with Jeff, and the sincerity in his voice told her how far he’d come in understanding his relationship with his brother, and more importantly, the relationship between the three of them.

“I know I told you I’d give you all the time you needed, that I wouldn’t pressure you for more than you’re willing to give, but…I’m dying here, Megan. I need you so bad it hurts.”

Desire and need made a powerful aphrodisiac, but a lingering doubt made Megan hesitate long enough to alert Jeff. He jumped to his feet and paced away from her. When he turned to her, the devastation etched on his face shattered all her doubts. “Megan…” he raked his fingers through his hair like he always did when he was frustrated.

“Jeff…Don’t.” In a second, Megan was in his arms. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for you to think I don’t want you. I do. More than anything.” His erection rode against her stomach, and she thought she might die if he wasn’t inside her soon. It had been way too long since she’d felt that connection, and suddenly, she couldn’t think of a single reason to deny her needs. “Take me to bed, Jeff.”

His kiss weakened every ligament in her body. It was tender, yet a sense of urgency under laid it. Megan threaded her arms around his neck and pressed as much of herself against his hard body as she could. He coaxed her lips apart and his tongue plunged inside, heating her blood to the boiling point and igniting a hunger she’d thought safely banked. Desperate now to feel his skin on hers, she slipped her hands to his waist and tugged his crisp button-down shirt free of his jeans. As soon as her fingers touched Jeff’s heated flesh, he broke the kiss and pushed her away.

Stunned, Megan protested the sudden halt, then Jeff grabbed his shirt by the back and yanked it over his head. She thought she heard a button or two pop, but couldn’t muster a care for the state of his shirt when he stood before her bare-chested. As he worked the button on his jeans Megan placed a hand on his breastbone. His heart beat steady beneath her hand and all that warm satin skin.

“Clothes.” Jeff’s voice broke into her lust coma. “Off. Now.”

It was an order she was all too willing to comply with. She was grateful for the oversized sweater and leggings she’d chosen to wear. No buttons. No zippers. In a flash of need, she stood naked except for a scrap of lace covering her mound, and a soft but serviceable bra. Jeff’s appreciative smile and heated gaze, not to mention his rampant erection, would have banished any doubts, if she could have found one.

“Jesus, Megan.”

“Protection?” she asked in a brief moment of sanity.

“Don’t need it. Haven’t been with anyone else. You?”

She was absurdly happy to hear his admission of fidelity. In the months since they’d been apart, she’d wondered if he had found release in someone else’s arms. Knowing he hadn’t cemented her decision. “No.”

Before the syllable left her lips, Jeff’s arms banded around her, binding her to him, surrounding her with his strength. Her breasts flattened against his chest. Barefoot, the top of her head barely cleared his shoulder. She placed a soft kiss to his pectoral, and he tightened his hold.

“I don’t know if I can make this last.”

“We have all day,” she said.
Forever
. Megan refused to think about the possibility. Now was enough. Wasn’t it?

They came together on the plush rug in the center of the room like a summer storm in the dead of winter. Hot. Fast. Furious. Jeff parted her thighs, sinking his shaft into her with enough strength to force a gasp from her lips. He braced himself above her to keep from crushing her into the rug and set a frenzied pace. Megan arched her hips to meet his, stroke for stroke. It felt so good to have him inside her again, filling her, completing her. He was magnificent above her. The powerful muscles in his shoulders flexed with each thrust. Megan trailed her hands over his shoulders, and down. When her fingers found the scar on the inside of his right elbow, she tensed.

“Oh God, Jeff. Your elbow.”

“No problem.” He collapsed to the side and pulled her with him. Megan found herself staring down into Jeff’s eyes. “You ride for a while.”

It took a few tries to find her rhythm, but with Jeff’s hands guiding her hips, she soon picked up a smooth, easy pace. This was so much better. She could take all of him this way, and Jeff’s hands were free to roam. He took advantage of the position, caressing and teasing every inch of skin he could reach, and he could reach all of them. She ground her clit against his pelvic bone, and he hissed a curse.

“You’re killing me,” he complained in a gruff voice that conveyed his willingness to die this way.

Her body screamed for her to end it, but her brain, drugged on endorphins, urged her to take it easy, to make it last as long as possible. Ultimately, Jeff took the decision from her, grabbing her hips to steady her as he bucked beneath her. One thumb slid between them to find her magic button, and she flew. Jeff gripped her hips hard, and thrust into her one more time before he joined her. His cock pulsed deep inside her, like a second heart that beat in tandem with her own.

Megan crumpled in a boneless, gasping heap. Jeff’s body felt like a buoy in a storm. She closed her eyes and clung to him, unwilling to lose the connection again so soon. How had she ever thought she could live without this, without him?

The room was silent but for their breathing and in the distance, the faint ticking of the grandfather clock in the entryway. Megan drifted on the edge of sleep.

“They’re sending me to Oklahoma City next week.”

What?
Megan shifted and the connection broke as Jeff’s softened penis slipped from her. “What did you say?” She rolled to her side and rose up on one elbow to look at his face.

“I have to go to Oklahoma City next week. I need to start throwing, but I can’t take anyone away from the Mustangs to throw with me, so they’re sending me there. There’s a triple A team there. I’ll work with them until I’m ready to come back to the Mustangs.”

Megan’ s heart dropped like a stone. She rolled to her back and stared at the ceiling. He was leaving. She felt numb all over. By her calculations, he’d be gone five, maybe six months.

“Come with me, Megan.”

“I can’t…”

“Take vacation…a leave of absence…quit.”

Could she? “Why? Why should I, Jeff?”

His hand found hers and he threaded their fingers together. “Because I’ll be there. And because I don’t think I can do this without you. Come with me. Please.”

“You don’t need me.” She almost choked on the words. Had he asked her here today to seduce her into going with him? Was he that lost without Jason?

“You’re wrong. I do need you, but more than that, I want you to be there. We’ll have time to be together, just you and me. No hiding. I’ll get you your own apartment if you want, but I’d rather have you live with me, as my girlfriend.”

Hope began a slow build. What would it be like to live with Jeff – all alone – away from everything and everyone? It would give them a chance to see if what they had was real, if they could put their relationship with Jason behind them, if they could build something on their own. “Where do you think it this would go? I mean, I guess I want to know what would happen when you come back to the Mustangs? What would happen to us then? What if you can’t come back?”

Jeff rolled and stretched out half over her. She had no choice but to look at him as he spoke. “I’ll come back.” Conviction laced his voice. “Rehab is going fine, better than fine. I’m ahead of schedule.” His tone grew lighter. “We may have to get creative with our positions for a while yet,” his grin told her he didn’t have a problem with that. “What will happen to us? I don’t know. I don’t want to hide you. Not ever again.” His hand stroked along her ribcage, past the indentation at her waist and over the swell of her hip. “I’ll tell you what I’d like to happen though. I’d like to for you to agree to be my wife. We could give this a try, and if you think we can make it work, we could get married over the All Star break – right before I come back.”

“Jeff…” tears blocked her throat, making it impossible to say more.

“I love you, Megan. Say you’ll come with me, that you’ll give us a chance, that you’ll marry me.” His lips brushed hers in a soft caress that went straight to her heart. “You don’t have to answer the marriage part yet. I’ll wait for you to make up your mind.”

Oh God! Megan tried to speak, but her throat was clogged with emotion, and Jeff’s hand was moving again, exploring places that took her breath away. Maybe if he stopped touching her she could answer him. Her mind screamed ‘yes’, over and over, but the word wouldn’t pass her lips.

“I’ll worship your body every day.” His lips grazed her breast, giving expert testimony as to his ability to fulfill the promise.