Inside Lucifer's War (4 page)

“You’re right. I don’t understand. I don’t understand how you can let people walk all over you. You embarrassed me. I won’t be that way. I will fight for what is mine, and I will repay evil for evil if I have to. You use God as an excuse not to stand up for what’s right,” I told him with all the gumption of a raging teenager.

Lucifer interrupts my thoughts: “Dwell on it no longer. Do not spend another thought on those ratty women. They don’t deserve pity or love. Besides, God has put temptations in front of you that any man would have failed. Those women were drawn to you. To your power. To your money. To your fame. If God chose, he never would have tempted you or allowed you to fall prey to them. Time and again he does that to men. Why should you be any stronger than David or Samson?”

He let that thought linger and then added, “I am here to give you an offer of a lifetime—to create a future you could only dream about. To take all of those qualities God gave you and turn them into blessings. Do not dwell on the past but on the future. You can spend your wretched life consumed by guilt, and you can continue to rot and fail. Or you can follow me and have everything you desire on earth and after. Ask yourself, what kind of life do you want on earth? What kind of life do you want when you come here to stay? Do you recall that moment of sickness you felt when you first arrived? Is that how you want to remain? Or do you want glory here as well?”

His voice was magic in my ears. The guilt I had felt only moments ago fades away. I am relaxed and calm. He is bargaining with me. This is familiar to me, and his proposal intrigues me. I am not my brother’s keeper. Why shouldn’t I reap the rewards of my talents? Here, before me, is possibly everything I want. As ego fills me, all of a sudden, something Lucifer said about being tempted triggers a Bible verse in my head.

In a debate, I had questioned a theologian on why God would tempt people. He quoted Scripture in his response: “‘When tempted, no one should say, ‘God is tempting me.’ For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed.’” I am not sure why so many Bible verses are coming to me.

By his own evil desire.
That thought repeats in my head. Recalling basic Bible stories, wasn’t it Lucifer who first tempted humans? Wasn’t it Lucifer who first planted the evil desire? Why was I thinking of this when I was being presented such a great offer? Why should I care?

Then, like a board across my face, it hits me. Yesterday I couldn’t have recalled a single commandment. Now, verses I had read or heard previously are as crisp and vivid as my hand in front of me. Knowing the verses gives me an unexpected strength in this room. It is my only weapon. It quickly fills my mind that the Gospel referred to Lucifer as “a liar and the father of lies.”

I suddenly feel exhausted. And he could see it on me. I blink and a couch suddenly appears.

“Rest,” he says. “I want your complete attention. I have business to attend to, but I shall return.”

I slump onto the couch. It is comfortable and somehow familiar. I am very aware of my circumstances—and leery of the creatures in the darkness. Still, I can’t hold my eyes open and I sink into a deep sleep.

C
HAPTER 4

History Lesson

I 
have no idea how long I sleep. I have no awareness of time. I awaken by my own efforts, or at least I believe I awaken by my own efforts. My eyelids are still heavy as I try to open them. I feel as I sometimes do when I have been traveling. I am confused to awaken to my surroundings, and my vision is not clear. Again I hope this has all been a terrible dream, but I know better. The reality of my situation sets in.

I see a shape that looks like Lucifer, but his appearance is altered again. His body seems part human, part lizard. He has a tail and scales. He talks with a long, skinny forked tongue from a human male face. He is talking in a strange language to a creature who has human features but certainly is not a person. The creature has a human form but with a skin that appears shrink-wrapped around its bones and muscles. It seems to have no fat on its body, and its muscles and bones are visible beneath the thin layer of skin. Its head is no more than a skull wrapped in a thin, tight skin. His muscles are large and long, which projects extreme strength. He listens attentively to Lucifer, never turning his eyes from him.

Lucifer notices me and turns my way, and following his lead, the creature also looks at me. He stares at me with a rage I can feel emanating from him. I think I see, or imagine I see, his upper lip turn slightly up in a growl. Lucifer turns back to the creature and says something. The creature bows and dissolves into the walls, never glancing back at me as he leaves. I watch him disappear and then turn back to look at Lucifer.

A burst of light blinds me for a moment. I open my eyes to see Lucifer in a glorious form. He is the same man I saw prior to falling asleep, but he wears a white robe with a hood, and he shines with a marvelous white light. His image is pleasant, though I still feel a sense of dread and evil in his presence. He moves across the cave effortlessly, as if he floats millimeters above the ground. As he moves, the cave transforms. The rocky floor changes into an oaken hardwood. The walls seem to melt, flowing like water. They are replaced with beautiful full bookshelves. I suddenly realize I am in my office in my apartment.

Lucifer has transformed the cave into my apartment office. My hands unconsciously rub the couch where I am sitting. I cannot believe I didn’t recognize it before, but this is my couch. These are my floors, my bookshelves, my walls. The transformation is complete. The detail is amazing. I stand up and walk to my desk. Everything is as I left it, including the top left drawer being slightly open. I never close that drawer. That’s where I keep gum, mints, and candy. I slide my hand across the desk and smile as my finger rubs across a chip in the finish on the top, next to the phone. I had been so angry when my agent told me the
New York Times’
critique of my book,
The Righteous Human
, was negative that I jabbed a letter opener into the wood.

I look at Lucifer. He is smiling at me.

“You have seen me in many forms,” he says. “Throughout history, I have shown the world many different forms. I often show myself in the form I think best suits my audience or my needs. What you see now, this beautiful vision, this marvelous figure, is not even a glimpse of my beauty when I was first created. I was his most wonderful creation.” Then his voice grows louder, and it booms across my office as he roars,

Is it not written . . . Is it not the truth . . . “You were the model of perfection, full of wisdom and perfect in beauty. You were in Eden, the garden of God; every precious stone adorned you: ruby, topaz and emerald, chrysolite, onyx and jasper, sapphire, turquoise and beryl. Your settings and mountings were made of gold; on the day you were created they were prepared. You were anointed as a guardian cherub, for so I ordained you. You were on the holy mount of God; you walked among the fiery stones. You were blameless in your ways from the day you were created.”

Hissing follows, so I know he is quoting Scripture. He lands gently on the wood and pierces me with his eyes. “I will have that glory again. I will ascend to the Most High, and you, Thomas Fields, will help. You see, my glory and your glory are intertwined.”

I’m not sure why, but I feel compelled to ask him a question. “You mentioned that you were more glorious when you were first created. When and how were you created?”

Lucifer’s light fades, and he transitions into the man I had spoken with prior to my slumber. He examines me for a few seconds. His body seems to vibrate much more to me, as if he is moving about so quickly that I can’t comprehend, and he returns to the same spot over and over again. Then he is stationary.

“God created me. He created me in the first group. We don’t know who was first in that group, but I was the most glorious of them all. I was a leader and a priest to many who followed. I am still the leader and priest to some of them, my chosen ones. None were so beautiful and well liked as I, though. I walked with God. I commanded and still command my loyal army.”

He seems open to a conversation, so I press him, “What do you mean by the first group?”

“The angels. God created me and the other angels long before he created the earth. We are an ancient, timeless, most precious race. He first created a small group of us, the most famous of us. You have heard of some, including me. The ones you call Michael and Gabriel were also in the first group. By far, we are God’s finest work, and among the group of God’s finest work, I was, am, his finest.”

Skeptical of the idea of angels, I ask another question: “Are you from another world where God is, er, was your leader? Are you aliens?”

He doesn’t hesitate. “You humans search desperately for something bigger than yourselves. You dream of beings from other galaxies, write stories of witches and warlocks, make up monsters and turn them into heroes and idols. Ironically, that urge, that desire, that searching comes from God. Animals don’t have that desire, but humans do. Yet you have perverted that calling, as I knew you would. I foretold this to God. What he puts in you for good, you turn rotten.”

Not fully comprehending, I nod as he continues his story.

He speaks as if he is a friend or colleague sharing his life’s history. “Unlike humans, I don’t have a weakness in my memory. I can recall every detail from the moment I first became aware. I awoke in his presence, and I was aware. Unlike humans, who learn and develop over time, I was instilled with knowledge, power, and awareness. I knew the majesty, authority, holiness, and power of God. I did not know of his failing until later. I had to learn that on my own. I knew he has existed for all time, that he created everything, and that he loved his creations. He didn’t make us fully aware, though. God granted us only so much knowledge, so much foresight, so much power. We trusted in our life together. God was open and revealing to me, until it came to humanity. Then he betrayed me. He betrayed all of us with your existence and hidden plans. There was no way I would ever bow down to your kind.”

He pauses for a minute and then says, “It was a glorious existence. God gave us the universe as our playground. We traversed across the galaxies together and by ourselves. We played, wrestled, and challenged each other to contests of wit, might, and skill. We sang. Oh, did we sing! There are angels whose voices can make a human weep just hearing them, for they are so beautiful. We laughed with God. You can’t possibly grasp the pure joy of laughing with God, to know that he is pleased with you. I had intimate conversations with him. I walked with him on planets. On
this
planet.”

He then talked of things that seemed imaginary, as if he were describing a science fiction story, yet there was, in a very odd way, a human element to it. I could see emotions in him as he talked through the story.

Then his demeanor stiffens. “Over time, God made more angels, though none like the first group. Much like humans, God gave all of us special gifts, roles, and abilities. The first group was by far the most special with the most gifts. God gave me many gifts: beauty, persuasion, leadership, intelligence to name a few. I was made a guardian cherub, and I served faithfully at God’s side on the holy mount. Because of my skills and loyalty, Jesus told me that I was to be a leader and a priest among the angels. I taught them things that God had shared only with the council and me. I interpreted God’s words for them. He commanded the angels to look to me as one of their leaders, as their chief priest. The first angels were all leaders, serving different roles. We were to teach the ways of God and how to serve him. We worked directly with angels and through the council. We had dominions and provinces, order and structure. Though the angels knew to serve him, it was I who often conversed with them. I resolved their conflicts and answered their questions.

“It was a perfect existence, until, on one of my talks with God, he spoke of the creatures that would populate the earth—foul, disgusting, unworthy creatures who would receive God’s love and grace and bear his image. It was on this planet, in Eden, where he told me this. It was at that exact moment I first questioned God and his design. It was also in that moment that I understood his one failure. I pressed him for answers, and I asked to see it all. God gave me few answers and refused my vision request. He no longer trusted me as he had before. He was threatened by my power and my relationship with the other angels. He chose you over us. You destroyed perfection, so I vowed to destroy you and ultimately him.”

He says these words in a cold, calculating manner. If there is rage inside of him, I can’t see it from his expression.

“And Jesus?” I ask, “How does he fit into this?”

Lucifer’s expression immediately changes. His eyes squint, and his lips purse in what seems like anger. His comments seem slower and more controlled, “We will speak of him only at this one instance, but you will never say his name again in my presence. It is beyond your grasp to understand, but I will do my best to explain him in your terms. He is part of the triune God. He has always been. He, the Father, and the Spirit are one but separate. He created all things. He created me. He created humans. All things were created through him. In your understanding, he is the expression of God.”

He pauses and stares into the distance for a moment. “I gave him the opportunity to rule with me, to be one with me, but he rejected me. Instead, he chose you. He chose to be a sacrifice for you. To accept the Father’s wrath for your sin. He chose to speak against me and to lead God’s will. So when he was vulnerable, I encouraged the world to kill him. It wasn’t hard—a spark here, a word there, a veiled threat—and the world rejected him as I knew they would. He died inconsequentially on a tree in a manner reserved for criminals. His teachings go on, but I’m slowly taking care of that as well. That is the end of his story.”