Inside Out (3 page)

I gasped. “Jude?” I stood with my mouth wide open. “What in the heck are you doing here?”

“I left my keys in your car I do believe.” He was sporting a smile that accelerated my heart rate. “Mind if I take a look?” He nodded in the direction of my car.

“Sure, um, hold on a minute. Let me change my clothes and I’ll be right out.” I attempted to shut the door in his face, giving me time to straighten up my appearance. He was even more gorgeous seeing him through sober eyes. Jude’s hand gripped the door and pushed it open, inviting himself inside. “I said I’d be right out, you can wait on the porch.”

“I don’t think I will. What happened to your face?” He barged through the door, taking me into his arms. “Did your boyfriend do this?” His expression was intense. His smile had vanished and was replaced by a look of disbelief and anger. “Samantha, I asked what happened to your face. Did he do this to you?”

My heart pounded in my chest. He smelled so good and his body was so warm, I couldn’t speak. I just laid my head onto his chest and closed my eyes, savoring the moment. He held me for what only felt like mere seconds. I wanted more. He pulled me away from his body, holding my shoulder’s to keep me at arm’s length.

He bent down to look into my eyes, repeating his question. “Samantha Rivers, I’m asking you once more. If you don’t answer me, I’ll assume I’m right and I’ll go right now to look for that piece of shit.”

“Yes. He was sloppy drunk last night. Beat my ass pretty good, if you must know. Doesn’t matter though, I’m leaving him.” I lifted my finger to point in the direction of the room where the garbage bags sat. Jude pushed his way past me as if he owned the place. His eyes searched the house in its entirety.

“Excuse me, Jude. I’m trying to finish packing. My mother will be here soon. You should really check my car for your keys and be on your way. You walked here?” He looked at me and smirked. My eyes drifted down to stare at his lips. I didn’t even know what he was saying anymore. I was lost in the way they moved, wondering what they would feel like pressed against mine. I reached up to touch my own lips, closing my eyes as I tried to visualize what a kiss with Jude might be like.

“Sam? Sam… Samantha!” I dropped my hand and opened my eyes.
Shit, I must look ridiculous!
I tried to act casual, hoping he didn’t sense I was just having some dirty fantasy about shoving my tongue down his throat.
Get a grip. He’s just a hot man. An extremely hot man I’d like to…

“Samantha, you’re doing it again. Why are you zoning out like that. Is it a concussion or something?” He ran the palm of his hand across my cheek, gazing into my eyes with a look of concern. His emerald colored eyes burned into mine. He allowed his warm hand to slide down the entire right side of my face, down my arm, and around to the small of my back. I inhaled deeply. A sensation ran from the place his hand rested all the way to my toes. I couldn’t move. I felt myself paralyzed by some unidentifiable force. I jumped out of his grasp as if I’d been shocked back into reality by actual electricity.

“Samantha.” He forced my name from his lips. His chest heaved as if he was trying to catch his breath.
Did he feel what I felt?
I asked myself before I dismissed the idea as ridiculous.

“Jude… I… really need to finish getting everything together. Mom is coming to pick me up”

“What about your car?” He asked quizzically.

“It’s not mine. It’s in Mitch’s name. I’m so damn lucky, perhaps I should play the lottery.” I muttered sarcastically.

“How long will it be until that asshole shows up? I don’t want to leave you alone. Can I just take you to your mother’s?”

“You don’t have your car, genius” I joked, keeping my eyes focused on the floor.

“Uh, I do actually. I lied about not having my keys. I just wanted to stop by. You didn’t answer my text and I needed a reason to show up. My car is parked on the curb, hidden right behind those two gigantic oak trees. So, let’s go!” His mood was all too chipper. I found myself staring at him with my eyebrow raised, feeling far more curious now as to why he felt the need to hang around me. “Don’t look at me that way. I just wanted to see you. I actually have a suggestion. Call me crazy, if you must. But, it’s a fantastic idea. I have a guest room in my house. I never use it, it just sits there collecting dust and, and it’s on the opposite side of the house from my room. You’d have plenty of personal space. Doesn’t that sound a lot more inviting than moving in with your mom?”

“Are you asking me to move in with you? Wow, you just skip first, second, and third base, and run straight home!” I kept my expression serious. Hoping the smirk that threatened to creep across my lips wasn’t noticeable. “From the looks of you, you don’t seem too desperate for companionship.” I blurted out before thinking of how it sounded. He seemed hurt by my response. His face gave me a guilt trip. “Hey, I just mean, I don’t really know you that well. And besides, I’m literally, like just now, like this minute, ending a long term relationship. I don’t think this is a good idea.” The fact that someone as gorgeous as Jude felt compelled to get closer to me was flattering. But, my mind was made up. I would not move in with a man I hadn’t associated with since high school. That was that.

“I just felt like I needed to protect you. We can work on that poem of yours and just live together like roommates. This is me reaching out to you as a friend, nothing more. Just one week? If you absolutely despise the arrangements, I’ll personally pack your bags and drop you off anywhere your heart desires.” As outrageous as the idea sounded, it almost felt more appealing than moving back in with my parents. Just one week wouldn’t hurt, right?

After a moment to think, I felt reluctance step back and I agreed. “Fine, I’ll move in for one week. What will rent cost? Oh, and, you’ll need to take me to work if you don’t mind. I can’t stay with you if you can’t do that. I won’t lose my job because of this situation.”

Jude laughed and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. “You’re easier to persuade than I thought. Call your mama, Sammy. Don’t want her showing up while you’re mingling with a perfect stranger.”

“If you were a perfect stranger, this wouldn’t be happening. Now, shut up before I change my mind.” I joked. I pulled out my cell and made the heartbreaking call to my mother. She was less than pleased with the change of plans. I convinced her that my new place was with Randi, my coworker, in a nice little home on Sunset. It was a beautiful safe community only five blocks from my job at Dr. Sonny’s. Her worried mind was set at ease. I felt guilty lying. I just didn’t have the heart to tell her she raised an idiot who had accepted an invitation to move in with a man after ending a long term relationship with another, just moments before.

I watched as he loaded the last bag in his bright silver Chevy Nova. Damn, that car was almost as beautiful as he was. I stood in the driveway, staring at the little rickety shack that I knew I’d never lay eyes on again. Regardless of its appearance, it had become home. I would miss it. I’d miss the long walk to the mailbox, I’d miss the trail through the woods that I jogged down almost every day. And, I’d miss the little flower garden I tended to during the summer in the late evening. I’d would always sit and watch the new growth, mesmerized at how quickly the beautiful green sprouts seeped through the earth. I closed my eyes and whispered goodbye before stepping inside Jude’s vehicle. I felt like everything in my life was changing all too quickly, Adam being the most dramatic and painful change. And now, relocating and leaving the only thing I’d really ever known. This wasn’t going to be easy on the heart either.

I sat in silence as we set off to Jude’s house. I had so much on my mind. I wished I had just a few moments alone to gather my thoughts. It wouldn’t take much to send me into tears and I did not want to break down in front of anyone, especially Jude. My peripheral vision caught his eyes burning into the side of my face. He could sense something was wrong. He reached over and tucked a single strand of my hair behind my ear. “You’re going to be okay. I promise. I’m here.” I offered a smile for his kind words before turning my head towards the passenger side window. The gloomy look the clouds held, almost perfectly fit my mood. I was pulled from my gloom and doom thoughts when Jude turned the radio up full blast. I heard his husky voice squeal out above the voice of the artist. He was singing Angel Eyes? I didn’t know anyone knew the lyrics to that aside from me!

“So, is this your idea, Jude? You figure you’ll serenade me all the way to your place, so by the time we arrive I’m so enthralled by you that we rush inside for you to have your way with me? You’re not fooling anyone, I’m onto you.” I giggled, nudged his arm and began laughing harder than I had since Adam’s death. A smile hadn’t emitted these lips in weeks, if felt foreign, yet good. I needed this. This was the medicine my broken heart needed to heal.

“Damn! I can’t get anything past you, huh?” His jokes were almost hard to read through his thick wall of sarcasm. His wink set my wandering mind at ease. He continued to sing wildly, which in turn, continued to make me smile. It only lasted as long as the song, though. The moment the car quieted and Jude’s attention turned back to the road, I was surrounded by silence. Worries of life, Adam and Mitch resurfaced sending me back into a dark, dreary abyss. I was trapped inside my own mind. I glanced over at Jude, wishing he would break out into song once more. He seemed lost in thought, in his own world of troubles.

We pulled into his driveway all too soon. My heart fluttered at the sight of my new, albeit temporary, home. The outside of the house seemed cozy enough. It had a nice red brick exterior with a white shutter trim. The yard seemed well kept and the grass was freshly cut with a row of pink roses lined up on each side of the house. I was busy studying the layout of my new home. I didn’t even notice Jude had made his way around to my side of the car. He tapped on the window, gesturing me to unlock the door. I hit the unlock button with a bit of reluctance. He ushered me out of the car with a wave of his arm.

“Like what you see? I try to keep it nice, ya know? Don’t judge too harshly on the pink roses. The neighbors decided that would be a great gift. I didn’t have the heart to tell them no. You should see the fancy set of dishes they got me last year for Christmas. Nice people, those two. A bit odd, buying a bachelor china dishes and pink flowers.” He rolled his eyes and chuckled. “Welcome to your new place Sammy.” He sported the biggest smile as he unlocked the door, allowing me to step inside first.
Not going to be my home for long if I can help it. This is insane.

“You sure know how to help a friend, huh?” The funny thing was we weren’t even that good of friends… yet. This was a ridiculous idea and I was foolish for accepting this idiot’s invitation. He bounced through the house like a child at Christmas. He pointed at several different pieces of furniture, letting me know it was all there for my pleasure too.
He’s so adorable and I’m such a piece of work.
I felt an instant pang of guilt and I was sure it was written all over my face.

“Jude, I-” I started to speak. He stared at me with an intensity I hadn’t seen from him before, listening harder than I have ever known a man to listen. “Jude this is extremely nice of you but…” His facial expression sank into a droopy-eyed version of his adorable self and it daggered my heart. “I can’t burden you. This is all so nice of you. I just can’t stay. I have so much going on in my life that will surely do nothing but bring you down. You live your life. I’m responsible for the mess mines in right and I’m sorry I even said yes. I’m going to call my mom and ask her if she can…”Jude’s fingers were on my lips before I was able to finish my sentence. His index finger was pressed against both of my lips awkwardly, telling me to be quiet. It was rather successful and so unexpected. My eyes glossed over as I became overwhelmed.

“Don’t you dare cry, Samantha. If you cry, I’ll probably cry, and that sounds like an awkward situation for us both. I just ask that you stay, just for the night if nothing else. We can work on this poem of yours and maybe I can cook us dinner. I’m quite the cook, or so I’ve been told.” His right hand found its way to my rose colored cheek. I was blushing for multiple reasons. His eyes beamed into mine, looking to me with anticipation as he awaited an answer.

I was a bit surprised and warmed by his words. What was with this man? Why did he feel the need to be so helpful? It certainly couldn’t have been my extra good looks. I eyed my body from my chest to my toes, noticing how unattractive my figure was. I shook my head at myself as I noticed the little girl inside me was becoming more and more smitten by Jude with each passing minute.

“Well, what do you say, Sam? I really want you here.” His eyes were pleading with me to give in, those bright green diamonds slicing through my soul like a freshly sharpened sword. I couldn’t sense a bit of falsehood in his statement. He wanted me to stay and I think deep down, I wanted it just as much.

“Okay. If you truly don’t think I’m going to be a pain in your ass, I’ll stay.”

His smile returned leaving me breathless, yet again. I watched Jude scurry off to the kitchen, digging through pots and pans throughout the cabinets. “No pain in the ass at all, Sam. Now, what would you like to eat? I have pork chops, steaks, and looks like all the ingredients for spaghetti.” His face peeked around at me from behind a wall waiting for my answer.

“Spaghetti sounds nice.” I chimed in and continued strolling through the living room. A picture of beautiful blonde woman caught my eye. It was an old photo, slightly torn on the edges. She was wearing a bright yellow suit with a bright red lipstick that somehow accentuated her features perfectly. In her arms she held an adorable toddler with a dirty face smiling ear to ear. “Who is this, Jude?” I almost regretted my question instantly. I shouldn’t have been nosy so soon. I’d barely been there ten minutes and already had my paws all over his belongings.

“My mother.” Jude answered in a sad tone. “She passed away when I was thirteen.” His expression was unreadable; though the pain in his voice made it evident he was still hurt by her death.