Insider (Exodus End #1) (65 page)

The tragedy that bonded yet still stood between Max and Dare had been twisted into a story of back-stabbing cruelty when in truth it had been young, misguided love.

The group had been thoroughly and savagely trashed.

And then when Toni saw the picture she’d taken of Logan and Steve that first night—with the caption
Seems there’s more than friendship between this pair. How many men does Steve Aimes keep in his closet?
—she knew without a doubt that the information in the articles hadn’t come from her handwritten journal. It had come from the files stored on her laptop.

“Shit.”

Toni removed her glasses and buried her face in her hands, racking her brain for times her laptop had been insecure. She’d left it on the bus when she’d followed the band members around. She supposed someone could have snuck onto the bus and downloaded information from her hard drive, but that seemed unlikely. Especially since her computer was password protected and the bus was never left unsecured. She’d taken her laptop to the hotel with her when Logan had helped her with her presentation, but the only time it had been unattended was when they’d gone to the motocross track.

Toni’s heart slammed into her ribcage and her head shot upright as a clear scene of her unattended laptop flashed through her head. When she’d taken Birdie to the restroom to see to her bloodied nose during her presentation, her laptop had been open and running in the conference room with her mother and Susan. Toni had even encouraged the two women to look through her files while she’d tended to Birdie. During those few minutes, Susan had unexpectedly disappeared and her mother had decided that Toni was capable of completing the book.

“Fucking hell!”

And Toni had thought their change of heart had been due to her brilliant presentation.

“That back-stabbing, lying, double-crossing, motherfucking
cunt
!” Toni raged, hoping that the insult was reserved for Susan, but in her gut knowing that the woman hadn’t worked alone.

She flipped through the articles again, this time paying more attention to the images. Perhaps she couldn’t sue them for printing privileged information, but she might be able to sue for printing her photos. She recognized a few she’d taken, but most of them weren’t hers. A photo of Steve’s wedding party caught her eye. She smiled at how young and handsome he looked in a tux. He couldn’t have been much more than twenty in the picture. She was a bit surprised to see Zach Mercer as his best man. How long had Steve known the guy? He’d been married before Exodus End had formed. Steve’s wife looked stunning and radiantly happy. Her maid of honor looked pissed off and shockingly familiar.

“Susan?” Toni blurted.

The woman in the picture was at least fifteen years younger and about fifty pounds heavier, but there was no mistaking her cynical stare.

“What the fuck?”

Susan must be involved somehow, but had she acted alone or was Mom in cahoots with her? Toni prayed that Susan had taken her files when Mom had stepped out of the conference room to answer a call or something. Surely her mother wouldn’t break her own daughter’s trust and potentially ruin her entire career on purpose. Who did that?

Gravel crunched in the driveway when a pair of headlights turned onto the property. Toni slapped her glasses back on her face and crumpled the tabloid in an angry fist. She was going to get to the bottom of this right now.

Mom was just coming into the kitchen when Toni charged into the room.

Looking weary, Mom smiled and held out Toni’s cellphone to her. “Here it is. Calm down. Sheesh!”

Toni was so pissed off, she couldn’t form words. She stood there shaking for a long moment before yanking her phone out of Mom’s hand.

“What’s with all the flowers?” Mom asked as she made her way toward the refrigerator.

“How could you?” Toni croaked.

“What?” She turned a questioning gaze on Toni.

“At least tell me it was Susan’s idea.” Toni knew she wasn’t making sense, but she couldn’t pull her thoughts together with all the negative emotions swirling through her.

“What are you talking about, Antonia?”

“This!” Toni shoved the tabloid in her mother’s direction. “You stole the information off my computer and sold it to the tabloids.”

“Technically, the information belongs to your employer since you’re a work-for-hire writer.”

Mom was so calm about her betrayal, that Toni gaped in utter disbelief.

“So you
did
steal information from me?” Toni’s voice cracked beneath the strain of her fury. “You sold those horrible stories about my friends to the tabloids?”
Please let this be a nightmare and let me wake up safe and warm in Logan’s arms.

“Friends? Oh please, Toni. You don’t honestly believe those people care about you, do you? How quick were they to lay the blame at your feet and have you thrown from their lives? The paper hadn’t been out for even a day before they sent you packing.”

“They are my friends,” Toni said. “You hurt them. And me. Was it worth it?”

Mom shrugged. “Not really. The paper didn’t pay us nearly as much as we were expecting. My accounts are still in the red. Susan far overestimated how much money those kinds of stories would bring. Hell, only one of the tabloids she contacted would touch them. Something about Exodus End’s manager having Satan’s attorney in his pocket.” Mom turned back to the refrigerator.

Toni clenched her hands into fists so she didn’t strangle the woman who’d given birth to her. “You’re so . . . You’re so . . .” There wasn’t a word to describe how she felt about her mother at the moment. “So . . .”

“I’m so what?” Mom said, her voice flat. Cold. “If you’re going to insult me, use your words, Antonia.”

“Self-centered. Self-absorbed. Egocentric.” Not strong enough. “You’re fucking narcissistic, is what you are! Do you care about anyone but yourself?”

Mom slammed a container of leftover spaghetti on the counter. “I did once. I cared for someone with everything that I am. But your father took my heart with him when he died on me. And it hurt so bad that I don’t even want it back. He can have it.”

She wiped the back of her hand over her cheek, dashing away tears Toni had never seen her shed. Not even at Daddy’s funeral.

“There are still two very big parts of him left on this planet, Mom. Birdie and me. Is it really so hard for you to see that?”

“I can’t let myself love like that again,” she whispered. “The loss is too great.”

“Is that why you push Birdie away? You’re afraid of losing her?”

Mom kept her back to Toni, hiding her thoughts. Her feelings. But her white-knuckled grip on the edge of the counter told Toni she was listening.

“She’s a blessing, Mom. She’s not perfect. None of us are. But she’s a loving, sweet blessing. A gift from Daddy. She deserves to be treasured.”

“I know that. Of course I know that. But do you have any idea what it feels like to be told—before she’s even born, while she’s still protected inside you—that you’re going to outlive your child? Told, before she’s even taken her first breath, that your baby girl will die young? Asked if you’d rather abort her than live with her disabilities?” Mom sniffed loudly and reached for a dish towel to wipe at her face. “I do. I know exactly what that feels like, Antonia.”

“You can’t focus on losing her. She’s here. She’s yours. Love her while you have her.”

“I want to,” she said. “But when will I have time for her? Keeping Nichols Publishing afloat takes all my time.”

“And your integrity,” Toni said. She hadn’t forgotten about her mother’s betrayal or how she’d been willing to destroy Toni’s credibility—her chance for the career she wanted to pursue—for a few bucks. And yet her forgiving nature wouldn’t allow her to stay angry for long with someone she loved. Susan, on the other hand . . . That bitch had to go.

“I apologize for breaking your trust,” Mom said, her grip on the counter slackening. “I knew you wouldn’t give us dirt on those rock stars of yours.”

Rock stars of
hers
?

“I thought it would be easier on you if we circumvented you entirely.”

Toni snorted. “So you stole information from my laptop for
my
benefit? Come on, Mom, how stupid do you think I am?”

“Yes, for your benefit. Why do you think I work so hard? Why do you think I’m willing to do anything to keep this company afloat?”

Because the woman got off on it? Why else?

“For you, Toni. I built this company for you.”

“But I don’t want it,” Toni said.

Mom’s shoulders slumped. “It destroys me to hear you say that. Of course, you want it. You
have
to want it.”

“Honestly, Mom, I don’t. I’d much rather spend time with you. I’d much rather Birdie get to know her mom than to have all the benefits of your hard work handed to me. I can carve my own niche into this world, you know.”

Mom turned and looked at her. She stared so hard, Toni began to fidget. “You can’t mean that, Toni.
Christ!
What have I been killing myself for all these years?”

Toni shrugged. “Beats me.”

Mom’s shoulders shook as she snorted, and then her entire body quaked as she laughed. Laughed so hard she couldn’t find air. Laughed until Toni couldn’t help but join her. Until they collided in a tight embrace tempered by the release of tension and all the affection that had been lacking between them for too many years.

When their laughter turned to intermittent chuckles and eventually uneven breathing, Mom pulled away to search Toni’s eyes. Toni couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen her mom look so happy. So relaxed and, and free.

“I hope I didn’t mess up your relationship with that rock band too much,” Mom said. “You really do have a gift for gaining an insider perspective.”

“Logan says they’ll be fine. Except Reagan. I’m not sure she’ll ever get over it. Her reputation has been all but destroyed.”

Mom cupped either side of Toni’s head and pressed their foreheads together. “So you write the best damn book you can, fix the woman’s reputation, hit the best-seller list, and save the company from financial ruin.”

Toni laughed. “Well, I will write the best damn book I can. The rest is out of my hands.”

“My husband raised you right.” Mom kissed the tip of Toni’s nose and released her. “It’s getting late. I suppose you still have time to call that boyfriend of yours. You are still involved with him, I take it?”

“Logan!” Toni cried. She’d been so wrapped up in her dealings with her mom that she’d forgotten to call him.

She read through his string of text messages. They were almost identical to the cards he’d sent with the flowers. She didn’t bother to listen to his voice messages before calling him. Her call was forwarded directly to his voicemail. She checked the clock to see if he was still onstage, but as it was almost one a.m. in Phoenix, he should be on the tour bus and on his way to the next venue.

“Logan,” she spoke to his voicemail. “I’m sorry I took so long to get back to you. I didn’t get any of your messages until late and then I didn’t have my phone with me, so I couldn’t call you back until now. I really need to memorize your number.” She laughed at how frustratingly inconvenient convenience could be. “Call me when you get this. I don’t care how late it is, I promise I’ll answer. I believe you when you say you didn’t cheat, but we still have a lot to talk about. I’ve had quite a day.” That was an understatement. “I love you. Hope to hear from you soon.”

She disconnected and turned to find herself alone. Mom had apparently decided she needed privacy while she made amends with Logan. Toni trudged upstairs to her room, turned her ringer up to maximum volume, and plugged her phone into the charger. She refused to miss his call. But as she lay in bed staring up at the balloons floating overhead with no word from him, she couldn’t help but wonder if he’d given up on her.

Thirty-Six

At some point, Toni must have dozed off, because an unfamiliar, low-pitched rumble pulled her from a fitful sleep. Headlights reflected off her ceiling as someone turned into the driveway. Lost and turning around, she decided, until the engine died and the lights were extinguished. She lifted her phone and glanced at the time. It was three thirty in the morning. And she’d somehow missed an hour-old text from Logan.

OMW

As far as she knew, that acronym was short for
on my way
, but that made absolutely no sense. He was on his way to where?

Her phone rang, startling her so badly that she tossed it onto the floor as if it had sprouted fangs and tried to strike her dead. She rolled out of bed and onto the hardwood with an
oomph
before crawling after the flashing device that was blaring “I’m-Too-Sexy.”

“Logan!” she answered, her heart still tripping over itself from being scared out of her wits. Or maybe the battered organ was just happy he’d finally called.

“Which room is yours?”

“What?”

“You’re home, aren’t you?” he asked with a panicked edge to his voice. “At your mother’s house?”

“Yeah.”

“Which room is yours?” he asked again.