Insiders (3 page)

Gwen stood, opened the door of her office, and bid the fools from JRU good-bye. They all walked out without so much as a glance toward Gwen's receptionist, Miss Ringling, or Movita Watson, the inmate assigned to Gwen's office from the prisoner population. Movita was the notable exception among the inmates at Jennings. Gwen knew she shouldn't – really
couldn't
– afford to have favorites, but Movita was … well, she was one of a kind. She was more competent, more clever, more stylish, with more attitude, intelligence, and tricks up her sleeve than anyone Gwen had even known. Movita ran the tightest crew in the prison, and perhaps ran the prison as well. Her crewmates loved and respected her in a way that Gwen – in her more perversely ironic moods – almost envied.

If the fools from JRU had any sense at all, Gwen thought, they'd be talking to Movita rather than me.

They try to strip you from the very first minute … When they brought me in county jail, the first thing they did was take my wedding ring and my earrings. Then they stripped me stark naked and made me jump up and down on the floor in a squat position – while they all stood around watching. They have to forget we're human beings to treat us that way.

A woman prisoner. Kathryn Watterson,
Women in Prison

As the prison van moved past the crowd at the courthouse and into the city streets, Jennifer put her face up to the smeared, barred window. As the van lumbered through the tunnel and then through poor suburban streets it was as if Jen was traveling back in time. She watched overworked women lugging laundry and groceries through the littered blocks, the kind of low-rent neighborhood in which she had grown up. Tears filled her eyes for a moment. Every one of those women reminded her of her late mother. And every staggering drunk looked like her stepfather.

Jennifer shivered again and rubbed the flesh of her arms vigorously. She hated being in this van, she hated these streets, and she hated the memories she was having of
living in streets like them. It had taken motivation, intelligence, and hard work to climb out of the place they were driving through. Ironically, it now seemed as if that same motivation, intelligence, and hard work was bringing her right back, or to a place even worse. Prison! She wouldn't let her tears fall. She reminded herself that this was only a temporary setback. But she was glad that her mother hadn't lived long enough to know about her trial or see her riding in a prison van.

Jennifer turned away from the window. She couldn't worry about the women on the street; she had her own problems. She'd dressed so carefully that morning – as she did every morning – but now the bench that she was sitting on was speckled with God only knew what kind of dirt. The rubber-matted floor smelled as if unspeakable things had been deposited there, and she was afraid to lean against the wall because of the nasty graffiti that was written in – what? Blood? Snot? Magic Marker? Jen thought ruefully of all the taxes that she had paid over the years. She wondered why some of it wasn't spent on keeping prison vans a little cleaner. Well, the horrible interior was probably just a show for the press. As Tom said, they were making an example of her. Things would be a lot better once she actually got to the prison. What had Tom said? It was a country club. Fine. She could handle that for a day or even two. Right now, though, the filth and the stench were permeating her hair and her clothes. Worse, Jennifer felt too tired to sit erect any longer. She gave up and leaned back. What does it matter? she thought. She would take her suit to Chris French Cleaners back on Ninth Street in a couple of days and they would work their magic on it. They would remove the smells and stains, just as Tom was working to make her
personal record spotless once again. She thought of pulling out her hidden Nokia and calling him, but the driver might hear and surely he couldn't have accomplished anything this soon. She should just zone out and wait.

Just as Jennifer relaxed into the ride, the driver sped up and recklessly rounded a corner. She was thrown from the steel bench onto the filthy floor. Jen struggled to get back on the bench and, in her surprise, she forgot for a moment just exactly what her situation was. ‘Excuse me,' she shouted to the driver through the wire cage, ‘but don't you think we're going just a little too fast in a residential neighborhood?'

His head spun around. ‘I don't need no driving lessons from a convict,' he sneered. Then he looked straight ahead and drove on even faster.

Jennifer was angry and ashamed of her outburst, but still she insisted, ‘It's dangerous. Your driving threw me onto this filthy floor.'

‘I don't care if you fall on your ass. You ain't riding in a limo anymore, convict.'

Convict!
He kept calling her a convict. She climbed back on the bench and tried to brace herself against the walls of the van. The handcuffs jangled and cut into her wrists. How in the hell had it come to this? Jennifer always followed the rules. She never smoked pot or had unprotected sex. She never took shortcuts; she never had an overdue book from the library. Hell, she never even left dirty dishes in the sink. And he'd called her a convict. Well, Jennifer thought with a shock, she was a convict. For a moment the reality – the smell, the dirt, the ugliness – broke over her in a wave. What was she doing here?

The ride continued endlessly. Jennifer went from nauseated to sleepy to hungry and then back to nauseated again.
Through it all she was frightened. At last the driver made another sharp right turn, and as Jennifer held on as best she could, the brakes screeched and the van came to an abrupt stop. Jennifer peered out the window. The prison gates were opening, and slowly the van pulled into the yard.

This wasn't like any kind of country club that Jennifer had ever seen – and the crazy-looking woman who was squatting in the flower bed was no greenskeeper. Jennifer had no way of knowing her name at the time – nor could she have ever guessed it – but ‘Springtime' was the first inmate to greet her with a smile. The old woman's birth name was long lost, as was her youth. Her dark, leathery skin was pulled so tight over her skull that her death-head's grin reminded Jennifer of the cheap skeleton masks all the kids in her old neighborhood used to wear on Halloween. That grin and those loony eyes were Jennifer's first spooky glimpse of prison life. As the van continued forward, the old woman pointed to the flower bed. Jennifer couldn't see what it was that she was pointing to until they were farther away. There, in a withered garden, bright orange marigolds and faded blue argretum spelled out
Welcome to Jennings.

Beyond the flowers Jennifer saw the terrible glint of razor wire coiled across the top of the chain-link fence. Ten feet behind it was a twin fence, also topped with the same wire. The sight stopped Jennifer's breath for a moment. What was happening to her? It looked as if she were in a Kurt Russell movie. The van approached a high concrete-block wall with garage doors that slowly opened to let them in. The doors closed behind them, the engine was turned off, and they sat in total silence. A burning bile rose in Jennifer's throat and she swallowed hard. She was soaked with sweat. What were they doing? Nobody moved or said a word. Why
were they just sitting there in the dark stench of this disgusting van? It was all so unnerving. She needed air – fresh air. ‘Excuse me,' she said softly, ‘but what happens now?'

‘Jesus Christ!' the driver sneered. ‘Are you really in such a hurry to get Inside?'

Before Jennifer could answer, an alarm sounded and, as if in response, overhead lights went on. The driver and guard got out of the van, slid open the doors, and reached in to pull her from her seat. Two prison officers had come from somewhere and stood on the tarmac. ‘Right this way, Miss Spencer,' the shorter officer said.

‘Welcome to Jennings,' the taller one said with a leer.

Jennifer lost her footing as she made the big step down from the prison van and she nearly fell onto the slippery concrete of the Jennings garage. She blinked her eyes against the harsh fluorescent lights and tried her best to regain her balance and maintain her composure. Dizzy, she teetered on her heels.

‘Can you walk on your own?' the shorter of the two officers asked Jennifer with what sounded like real concern. Although they were dressed in identical uniforms, the two men couldn't have been more different in their demeanor. While the short one seemed calm and almost caring in his work, it was clear to Jen that the taller officer was wound tight as a spring and seemed ready to explode into violence at any moment. Good cop – bad cop, thought Jennifer. She was studying the faces of her captors when she felt the tall guard's grip tighten firmly on her arm. ‘You were asked if you can walk,' he sneered into her face. ‘What's your answer?'

Jennifer looked at him. Who was this guy? His nameplate read KARL BYRD, but he was no bird. He was a six foot,
six inch, two hundred pound hyena. ‘What's your answer?' he repeated. ‘Can you walk on your own?' Jennifer only nodded in response, and the officers flanked her on either side and walked her toward the prison door.

Byrd reached up to his shoulder with his free hand and snarled, ‘Open One Oh Nine,' into his shoulder-mounted radio. A buzzer sounded and he pushed the door. As Jennifer twisted in an attempt to see the good cop's nameplate, she noticed that he was locking a contraption on the wall that looked like a night depository at a bank.

‘It's for our weapons,' he told her, answering her unasked question. ‘No guns are allowed inside Jennings.' His name was Roger Camry. Jennifer decided that she liked Roger Camry. He wasn't some vengeful sadist. He was just a short civil servant with a job to do. For the first time since she left home, Jennifer smiled. Well, this was better. The hallway didn't stink and the officers were unarmed, and one of them was even kind of nice. Maybe this was a country club after all.

But then she stepped further inside. What
was
that smell? It wasn't clinical, nor was it sterile. Before Jennifer could take another sniff, the heavy door slammed behind her with a loud and resounding
clank
of metal against metal. It made her jump, and Byrd laughed. It sounded far too final.

Jennifer looked ahead down the long, empty hallway before her. She froze. Even with Byrd's menacing ‘Let's go,' she literally could not take a step. The linoleum glinted an anemic lime green. The green mile. She told herself that she wasn't going to the electric chair, but her legs were actually trembling. She needed some air. She needed just a few more minutes. Her legs were shaking so badly she
couldn't walk and she didn't want to let them see. ‘So, uh,' she stammered, ‘I see your names are Roger and Karl.' She tried to sound casual. ‘I'm Jennifer Spencer,' she said, and extended her hand.

‘We know who
you
are,' Byrd said with a snort that made him sound like a horse. ‘Your face has been splashed across every newspaper and TV screen in the country.' But he didn't shake Jennifer's hand as if she were a celebrity. Instead, he grabbed her elbow and jerked her forward.

Jennifer hated it when people did that. It reminded her of being herded along by Sister Imogene John back in parochial school. Byrd's touch made Jennifer flinch, and that was enough to provoke him to tighten his grip even more. Her legs were still weak. She would have paid a thousand – no
ten
thousand – dollars for just a few moments of fresh air. But it wasn't going to happen. She was locked inside. There was no way out. She took a deep breath of what foul air there was, and she knew now what she smelled. It was despair.

The guard pulled her by her upper arm. ‘Please don't shove me,' Jennifer said defiantly to Byrd. He said nothing in response, but continued to shove her just the same. ‘We're not getting off to a good start here,' Jennifer said, stumbling once again on the highly polished floors.

‘You better take off the heels,' the officer named Roger told her, not unkindly. ‘Why don't you take them off and carry them? That will help. We don't want you to fall.'

Jennifer looked down at her Louboutins and then at the long hallway before her. She didn't want to go barefoot, but Byrd drew his face right up to Jennifer's, and she could smell the hot, unpleasant combination of tobacco, chewing gum, and … With real venom he rephrased Roger's
suggestion into an order and barked, ‘Get rid of the shoes. Do you understand?' His breath withered Jennifer's anger. She took off the shoes, and then, with one in each hand and a guard on each elbow, she took her first steps into the prison. Maybe it was a defense mechanism, but at that moment, all Jennifer could think about was how much those shoes had cost.

The hall seemed endless. When at last they stopped in front of a closed door, Jennifer suddenly panicked. She actually didn't want the guards to let go of her arms. She was afraid that she might collapse in fear. The sign on the door read
INMATE INTAKE
.
With false bravado she asked Officer Camry, ‘Is there another door for
Inmate Exhaust
?'

‘In here,' Byrd ordered as he opened the door. Jennifer walked ahead of them and into the room alone.

Inside, a counter cut the small, gray-green space in half. Behind the check-in counter was an open door, and in that doorway lounged a tall, attractive woman. She had the palest skin and the blackest hair that Jennifer had ever seen – a sort of jailhouse Morticia Addams. If she had had a better haircut, she would've been stunning. But even here, in that ugly jumpsuit and in the hideous fluorescent lighting, she was striking. She had the high cheekbones, the long straight nose, and the pale blue eyes of a better-looking Celtic hillbilly. Well, at least now Jennifer could begin the process of getting out of this place. Without hesitation, she strode up to the counter where the desk clerk stood and asked, ‘Have I received any messages?'

‘Have you
what
!' Morticia asked in amused disbelief.

‘Have I received any messages?' Jennifer repeated. ‘I'm expecting a call from my lawyer.'

‘Oh my Lord,' the woman laughed, ‘she's one of
those.
'
And both officers – even the nice one – laughed right along with Morticia. Jennifer cursed herself for her foolish gaffe. Her head was swimming. But she was so accustomed to hotel check-ins, where the faxes and messages were always waiting, that only now did she realize that the jumpsuit the woman was wearing was in fact a prison uniform – she was just another inmate. Jennifer felt her face color.

Officer Camry pulled out a key chain packed more densely than the A train at rush hour and unlocked a door on the wall next to the counter. ‘Please step right through here and turn to your left,' Officer Camry said.