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Authors: J. R. Johansson

Tags: #Fiction, #young adult, #ya, #crush, #young adult fiction, #Suspense, #stalker, #sleep, #dream

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BOOK: Insomnia
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five

Waking up after a night in Megan’s dreams—no, of
actual
sleep and
my own
dreams—was an incredible thing. I tried to hold on to pieces of the experience, the strange images floating through my own fragmented dreams. Finn had been there, and I think Addie and my dad. We were by an ocean. I wanted to tuck every detail away somewhere safe where no one could ever take them from me again.

It’d been so long since my brain had slept that I couldn’t remember any of my dreams from before I became a Watcher. Now I knew what I’d been missing. Every part of my body felt rested and alive instead of dragging with the exhaustion I’d become accustomed to. Megan had somehow made it possible.

I lay on my bed, reveling in the refreshed feeling and dreamy oblivion. Sleeping was good. I loved sleep. Best. Thing. Ever.

Stretched out against my dark blue sheets, I didn’t want to get up. I didn’t want to ever move again. It was nearly impossible to think about doing anything except going back to sleep.

Thud. Thud. Thud.

“Parker!” Mom’s shout shattered my happy haze like a bazooka. “Your alarm went off thirty minutes ago. You up yet?”

I bolted out of bed, fully alert for the first time in months—
probably years.

“I’m up.” A small grin crept across my face. I’d slept through my alarm? How …
normal
.

Tugging a gray long-sleeved shirt and jeans out of the closet, I was through the door, past my Mom, and into the shower in under a minute. I would be late for school, but the sudden urgency that filled me had nothing to do with that.

It was Megan. I had to find her and make eye contact again. I had to find out if all her dreams were like the one last night.

My brain whirred as it sorted the information: her approx-
imate age, where I’d seen her, what direction she was heading in and why. She didn’t seem older than me, but I knew I’d never seen her before. That meant she could be new in town. She was old enough to drive, so chances were fifty/fifty she’d be attending my high school. I
would
find her.

Doubt flooded me as I stepped out of the shower. I forced aside nagging thoughts that maybe it wouldn’t be that easy, maybe she was only passing through town. Maybe I’d never see her again. No matter what it took, though, I had to find her.

Why could I sleep in her dream? Could I do it again?

For a moment, the whirring in my mind stopped and my stomach clenched. What was I planning to do? Hunt her down? Force her to make eye contact with me? It felt wrong. But something else inside me spoke, something deep-rooted and instinctual. This was a possible means of survival. It could mean a real life for me.

I had to find out, but I’d need to be careful.

I ran through the front doors of Oakville High School. Fifteen minutes late wasn’t too bad. Everything seemed oddly hushed, though. I peered in the classrooms as I jogged down the hall, but they were all empty.

By the time I got to my locker, I wondered if it was some kind of holiday I’d forgotten about. My heart pounded and I racked my brain for what holiday it could possibly be. It was Monday, the first week of October. Why would there be no school?

I closed my locker and turned around, leaning against it to think. A mirror lined the back of the trophy case on the opposite wall, but my reflection looked nothing like me. There was color in my cheeks I hadn’t seen in a year or more; my dark hair glistened. I looked almost healthy.

An eruption of laughter floated down the stairs at the end of the hall and I headed toward the sound. Then I smacked myself in the forehead.
Of course! The assembly. I’m a genius.

All sports assemblies were the same at OHS. Technically this was a football assembly, since soccer season was still a ways off, but I knew that like always, it would somehow turn back to soccer. Soccer was like a religion for Oakville High students. No matter what group you hung with, no matter who your family was, no matter what else happened throughout the school year—we were all unified about soccer.

This actually might work out pretty well
, I realized. The entire student body would be there, and it would be easier to find Megan when everyone was in one place.

I pushed open the doors to the auditorium. The smell of dust mixed with a hundred different kinds of cologne, perfume, and deodorant assaulted my senses. It took a moment for my eyes to adjust to the dimness of the room. There were three seniors on stage doing some kind of skit.

I saw Finn motion to me from a few rows up.

“Thanks,” I whispered as I took the seat next to him. I glanced around, trying to spot Megan in the crowd. Finn watched me for a minute before raising his eyebrows.

“Who are you looking for?”

“Me? Nobody.” I dismissed him with a wave as I craned my neck and squinted, trying to make out the features of a dark-haired girl a few rows behind us. My heart dropped to my feet with a nearly audible thud—it was Penny Charles, not Megan. We’d been partners on an astronomy project in junior high. Penny dreams an awful lot about fishing.

“Yeah, obviously—nobody.” Finn laughed and turned his attention back to the stage. He let out a low whistle. “Wow, check that out.”

“Uh-huh,” I said without even a glance forward. It had to be one of the many cute girls that Finn was into and I wasn’t. In junior high, every girl I’d found interesting ended up having dreams about us getting married—even having kids. I hate watching myself in other people’s dreams. No one should have to do that. It’s like being possessed and having an out-of-body experience at the same time. What made it worse was my fear that the dreams were a lie—that I’d never live long enough to do either of those things. It was enough to cure me of any attraction I felt for the girls at school.

Yet here I was, pulling a stupid neck muscle trying to spot one at the assembly. And she wasn’t even here.

I sighed and slouched back in my chair. The idea that I’d never see Megan again, never feel so rested again, was like a dump truck driving onto my chest and then parking there. Everything felt so tight around me that my vision swam, and it scared me. I needed to chill out. It was just one night, and it had probably been a fluke anyway.

Back to reality, Parker.

The stage was full of bouncing cheerleaders. Their swirling, colorful skirts made my head hurt. Jeff Sparks grinned and walked across the stage as they cheered. Leading the pep assemblies seemed to be Jeff’s favorite part of being senior class president. It didn’t hurt that it meant he could throw in at least one mention of soccer, whatever sport the pep rally was actually for.

Scattered around the stage, behind Jeff, stood more than half the jocks at school. I was probably supposed to be up there—Finn, too, for that matter—but he was a slacker and I didn’t care enough at the moment.

I watched Jeff, trying to distract myself from the misery that clung to my bones even after I could finally breathe normally again. He was perfectly at home up there in front of the entire school, smiling, his arms spread wide. I thought it was a little over-the-top, but he always said he liked putting on a good show.

“Logandale isn’t even going to see our football team coming! The Oakville Boulders are going to pulverize them and head to Regionals!” Jeff nodded and pumped a fist in the air. “Then we can shift our focus to my personal favorite sport: soccer.” He winked at the audience. “I have a feeling we’ll have our best season yet this spring!”

A cheer rose from the crowd and a couple cheerleaders on stage jumped up and down with their pom-poms. Jeff was certainly entertaining everyone else, but not me. I wanted to go home. I sat forward, rubbing my shaking hands against my thighs to try to still a tremor. I felt better than usual, for sure, but one night of sleep wasn’t enough to change my future.

“Now, it wouldn’t be fair for me to take all this support and attention for myself. I may be Senior Class President, but our soccer team has
two
captains. And since I have some good soccer news to share, don’t you think Parker Chipp should be up here to share it with me?”

Next to me, Finn laughed and elbowed me in the side. I blinked at him for a minute before what Jeff said sank in. I shrunk down in my seat, hoping no one would see me. I couldn’t take being the center of attention.
Please, not right now.

The chanting started soft and got louder. “Parker! Parker! Parker!” It wasn’t until people shoved me from the back that I finally got up, waved at everyone, and sat back down.

“Aww, c’mon, Parker. Don’t be shy. Come up here!”

I growled under my breath but then stood and walked up to the stage. I spotted Addie as I went and mouthed the words “Help me.” She giggled and rolled her eyes as the cheerleaders rushed down the stairs and pulled me up next to Jeff.

In one last, futile attempt, I threw a quick glance through the crowd for Megan again but couldn’t see much. The lights were too bright, too hot—too uncomfortable. Jeff slapped my back and grinned.

He leaned over and spoke quietly in my ear. “Thanks, man. I know you aren’t an attention hound, but we gotta get everybody pumped, you know?”

“No problem.” I shrugged and stuck my hands in the pockets of my letterman jacket. Jeff turned back to the audience.

“Next Friday, the athletics department is sponsoring a bonfire rally out on Rush Beach. Everyone is invited to come and support our teams. Bring whatever you want to roast on the fire—as long as it isn’t the Logandale quarterback. We don’t need any extra help to beat them!”

A roar of laughter and applause filled the auditorium. I let out a small laugh too. One of the cheerleaders, Anna Connors, caught my attention with a little wave. I turned to face her, and she winked and beamed at me. Her long blond hair floated around her, hugging her curves. I waved back, trying to suppress a shudder. She was crazy hot, no doubt about it, but I still couldn’t look at her without remembering a dream she’d had in junior high about French kissing her cat. I knew it was probably just a random bizarre dream, but it had cured me of any interest immediately. It was one of those unfortunate images that sticks with you.

Jeff took a step forward and continued. “As for the soccer news, I’m here to give you my personal assurance that the soccer season won’t end only with my team winning State.”

The auditorium quieted down and murmurs circulated.

“The girls’ team is going to go all the way too!” Jeff nodded into the silence that followed.

Everyone knew the girls’ soccer team struggled. They rarely even made it to Regionals, let alone to State. Like every other student in the auditorium, I watched Jeff, waiting for him to continue. What was he talking about?

“We have a secret weapon this year, and I’m happy to introduce her to you,” he announced. “She’s new. She’s got amazing footwork, and I’m happy to say that even I have a hard time stealing the ball from her.” He grinned at the crowd. “I can still do it, of course, but it’s not easy.”

He paused for dramatic effect. “Oakville’s new star soccer player—Mia Greene!” Swinging one arm toward the cluster of people at the back of the stage, Jeff beckoned her forward.

I didn’t even turn around to look. If Megan wasn’t at the assembly, I wanted to either go home or drive to Logandale High and look around. Then I realized that everyone else was craning their necks to look past me, so I stepped to one side and followed their gazes.

After only a moment’s hesitation, the same little brunette I’d nearly killed with my car walked out from behind the football team. She raised one eyebrow at me as she passed and took her place beside Jeff.

Megan—no,
Mia
—dreams of not painting.

Why had she told me her name was Megan? Then again,
random teenage boy who apparently looks like he’s on drugs almost hits you with his car
… I guessed I could see the reasoning.

I gave my head a quick shake. Who cared why? My heart almost burst from my chest. She went to my school! I tried to wipe the grin from my face, but it didn’t work and I didn’t care.

It wasn’t until she was standing at the front of the stage that I noticed the clenched fists behind her back, and that in spite of the small smile on her face, she looked angry. I grimaced. Apparently she hadn’t gotten over the near-accident yet.

Jeff moved to block Mia from my view and raised his eyebrows at me for a second. I realized I was staring with my mouth hanging partially open. I shut it with a click, and he gestured for me to come closer. Once I got to his side, he turned back to the crowd, throwing one arm around me and the other around Mia.

“This year, Boulders, we are unstoppable! Our football team will beat Logandale! Then we’ll take State in girls’
and
boys’ soccer! And we want to see everyone at the rally next Friday!”

The crowd yelled, “Boulders! Boulders! Boulders!” Then the burgundy curtains swung across the front of the stage, cutting us off from the burning lights and the chanting crowd. Jeff dropped his arm from around our shoulders and guided Mia a few steps to the right, smiling and asking what she thought of the assembly. I couldn’t make out her response with the chattering of everyone else on the stage, but it didn’t matter. My brain was still processing so fast I couldn’t have focused on her words much anyway.

I swallowed. She was
here
. My hands stopped shaking and a warm gush of relief flowed through my chest, down my arms, and out through my fingertips. The only person who might be able to keep me alive was here, standing five feet away from me.

six

Addie and Finn came up the stairs on the side of the stage and trotted over to me. Finn was carrying his backpack on one shoulder and mine on the other.

“That was more than slightly awesome,” he said, low enough that no one else would hear. “You should’ve seen your face, man. I mean, she’s hot, but I didn’t think you’d be into that.”

Addie’s face was neutral, but she was watching me closely. She was the only person I ever had trouble reading. It seemed like she only let me see what she wanted me to see. I wasn’t sure why, but it made me nervous.

“Wha—why not?” I glanced over my shoulder and saw Jeff’s back. He and Mia were deep in discussion, and she seemed to be getting more upset by the second.

“Well, I don’t know … ” Finn stared at his feet for a minute before laughing and shoving me in the shoulder. “You know, because she’s a girl, and … ”

His face showed no sign that it was a joke. In fact, he appeared more uncomfortable than I’d ever seen him. Addie was staring at him now, too, her eyebrows raised so high they almost touched her hair.

“What are you talking about? You don’t think I like girls?” I tried to keep my pitch from going skyward, but I wasn’t very successful. I saw Jeff freeze and slowly turn in my direction.

“Come on. I didn’t think you liked guys—I just didn’t really think you liked
anybody
like that, you know?” Finn laughed, but it sounded hollow.

“Yeah, well, I don’t. So you got that right,” I muttered. Jeff and Mia were heading our way.

Addie stepped toward Mia and waved. “I’m Addie. Did you play soccer at your old school too?”

Mia nodded. “Yeah, I’ve been playing forever. You play?”

“No. It’s never been my sport. I swim.” Addie shrugged and started for the stairs. “Nice meeting you!”

The corner of Mia’s lips curved up. “You too.”

“Addie, come here for a moment please,” Coach Carter called just before Addie was out of sight. She pivoted on one foot and jogged over to the coach with a grin that made me wonder why everyone didn’t stand around staring at her all the time.

Jeff jolted me out of my gawking by punching me lightly in the shoulder. “What was that all about, Parker? You’ve never seen a girl before?” He glanced over at Mia.

“No, I was just surprised. I nearly hit her with my car yesterday.”

Finn barked out a coughing laugh and Jeff’s brow lowered to match his voice. “You did what?”

“I didn’t, though.” I looked at Mia, but she seemed to be avoiding eye contact. “But I could’ve sworn she told me her name was Megan.”

Now she did meet my eyes, and I saw a flash of a smile as she said, “Don’t worry. It’s a common mistake.”

“You almost hit her with your car?” The muscle in Jeff’s jaw twitched and he stepped between us. His response bothered me. Did he actually think he owned every girl in school?

“It was an accident. Besides, why do you even care?”

Jeff’s eyes narrowed. “Because she’s my sister.”

“Duh-Duh-Dum.” Finn put one hand up in front of him like he was holding a microphone and leaned forward with a grin. “That’s it for today, folks. Tune in tomorrow for the next episode of
Days of Our Lives
.”

Confused, I gave my head a little shake. “She’s your what?”

Finn grunted and turned away, muttering, “Always wasting my best stuff.”

“My foster sister. She’s staying with my family.”

That made sense. Jeff was an only child, and I knew the Sparks had done the foster thing before. But I was pretty sure the kids were usually much younger.

“Oh,” I said, trying to glimpse Mia behind Jeff again. “Well, like I said, it was an accident, and she’s fine. So, no big deal.”

“It really was nothing.” Mia stepped up beside Jeff, and I tried to look friendly when she glanced at me.

“Okay, cool.” Jeff shrugged, then slapped my shoulder. “Why don’t you set up a couple of chairs for the meeting, Parker?”

“Oh, right. The meeting.” I pointed back toward the curtains. “Why don’t we just have it down in the auditorium?”

“I want to get started right away. The faculty has only given us half an hour before we have to get to class, but it will take a while for them to empty the auditorium out. It might buy us a little extra time.” He pointed to the stacks of chairs lined up off to one side. “We’ll just have it up here on the stage. Keep it short and sweet.”

“Right. Got it.” I turned and grabbed some chairs, noticing that Mia was now talking to Addie and Coach Carter.
Of course
—this meeting was for both soccer teams. Despite having had a great night of sleep last night, my brain sure didn’t seem to be keeping up this morning.

Finn took off his coat and threw it at to the back wall. His shirt said,
Come to the dark side. We have cookies
. I smiled as he grabbed a stack of chairs and started setting them out in a row behind mine. “You see who just walked in?”

I turned to the stairs Finn indicated. Thor, a monster fullback from the soccer team, was standing on the top step, nodding while Jeff spoke. I’d intentionally avoided Thor’s dreams. From the way he behaved, I was pretty sure they involved cutting people into bite-sized pieces.

“Perfect.” I watched Thor’s massive shoulders as he followed Jeff across the front of the stage. “Tell me why he picked soccer again?”

Finn frowned. “I’m amazed they let him on the team, after his stunt last year.”

“No kidding.” I shook my head and grabbed another stack of chairs. “Apparently when you’re huge and fast, it doesn’t matter if you break your teammate’s leg your first time on the field.”

“Good thing Jeff volunteered to teach him the rules.” Finn pulled another chair off his stack and set it down a little harder than he intended. “He really wasn’t getting the whole non-contact-sport part.”

Thor’s baseline emotional state seemed to be pure fury. It had really bothered me at first, especially since at his monstrous 6’5”, he was six inches taller than me and built like a brick wall. But I’d gotten used to it. From his attitude and the dark pit stains on his shirt, I guessed God had given him a serious overdose in the testosterone department.

Addie walked up with Mia as Finn slammed another chair down. “Easy there. The chairs don’t work as well when you break them in half.”

Finn jerked his head toward Thor’s back. “We’re taking bets on whose leg he’ll break this year. You in?”

Addie laughed, but then crossed her arms over her chest. “You wouldn’t think it was so funny if it turned out to be you.” She shook her head and lowered her voice. “Liv Campbell was crying in the girl’s bathroom the other day—I swear I heard her say his name.”

“What do you mean?” Finn turned to face her. “Why would she be upset about Thor?”

“Maybe he scared her?” Addie shrugged. “I didn’t hear much, but she was really upset.”

“See what I mean? Girls make no sense.” Finn shook his head. “Liv is hot, but if she’s interested in Thor, she deserves a special kind of padded room.”

I saw Mia flinch, but then she laughed it off. “And you’re an expert?”

“Yes.” Finn looked at her for a second and then tilted his head to one side. “Aren’t you?”

Mia smiled. “Do either of you even talk to him, or do you just hate him because he’s bigger than you?”

I leaned over to grab another stack of chairs. “Because he’s bigger than us. Besides, talking to him would require him to learn English.”

Finn stood with his legs spread wide and an exaggerated look of anger plastered on his face. “Thor no need English. Thor God of Thunder!” He beat his chest with his fists.

As if on cue, thunder rumbled outside. The walls shook and both girls laughed.

I raised my eyebrows and pulled the last chair off the stack. “Nice.”

“Thank you very much.” He bowed with a grin. “I’ll be here all week.”

Mia took a seat and I sat down beside her. Addie stood in front of us with a surprised expression, then sat down on the other side of Mia.

“So, where did you live before this?” I asked.

Mia looked at the floor for a few seconds, her face hard to read. “Somewhere else.”

I laughed. “At least you didn’t lie this time.”

Finn leaned down and whispered, “She’s a foster kid, dude. Maybe she doesn’t want to talk about where she came from.”

I winced and nodded—total idiot.

Lowering my voice, I tried to sound casual. “Will you tell me why you told me your name was Megan, then?”

She pursed her lips, then they curved up. “I don’t know. Stranger danger?”

“Fair enough.” I leaned in. “But you’re sticking with Mia? Because any more names might confuse me.”

She shrugged. “For now.”

Jeff walked to the front of the stage and motioned for everyone to quiet down. Members of both soccer teams started finding seats.

Finn flopped down on my other side and leaned across Mia and me to talk to Addie. “Please tell me you didn’t join the soccer team, because I think that’s the only thing that could make it any worse.”

Addie raised her nose a little and ignored him, but Mia responded with a sweet smile. “Coach Carter asked her to stay for the meeting. She’s helping with practices. Apparently she learned some awesome stretches to help us warm up and cool down. I really hope she doesn’t teach any of them to the boys’ team, though. You guys deserve a little pain.”

Finn’s eyes widened and he put his hands over his heart and groaned. Mia and I snickered just before Jeff started talking.

“Thanks for coming to this pre-season meeting on such short notice. I promise we won’t keep you long. Just have to do a quick poll and discuss some schedule issues.” Jeff smiled and glanced at the coaches, who nodded before he continued. “After a little begging, I convinced the coaches to let me lead some extra practices this year, before regular practice starts. This is my last year. The last year for all the seniors. And we should work even harder to make it our best year yet. Anyone have any thoughts or objections?”

The group was silent. I was watching Jeff’s shoes and trying really hard not to tune him out. Finn elbowed me in the side and I glanced up to see everyone’s eyes on me. I blinked, and then remembered I was co-captain.

“What do you think, Parker?” one of the midfielders asked from the other side of the room.

“I think Jeff’s right,” I said. “The state finals last year were tough. I’d like to feel more prepared going into it this year.”

Several heads nodded and everyone turned back to Jeff. He smiled. “I’d like to start with one joint practice with the girls’ team.” A couple guys groaned, but he continued. “Teaching the girls some of the drills we run will only help us get them down better.”

A couple of the girls crossed their arms over their chests and frowned. I sat forward, wanting to end any argument before it started. “Hey, the girls’ basketball team always kicks butt, and they could give a ton of pointers to the boys’ team if they wanted to. This isn’t about gender; it’s about a team that works and a team that struggles. Maybe we can help each other.”

A few girls nodded, looking somewhat appeased. Everyone turned back and waited for Jeff to continue. He met my eyes for a second or two in the silence before he went on. I forced myself not to look away until he did, even though my instincts made me want to. It wasn’t even lunch yet. I had plenty of time to make eye contact with Mia after the meeting. I wouldn’t be stuck with Jeff tonight.

“Great. The joint practice will replace the individual practice we had tentatively scheduled for today after school. I want to see all of you there.”

Jeff walked to a chair by Thor and took a seat as Coach Mahoney and Coach Carter stood up and started talking about new strategies and what they wanted us to focus on during Jeff’s practices. Coach Mahoney wrapped things up by saying, “Coach Carter and I will attend the joint practice today. After that, your team captains will be organizing and leading the individual team pre-season practices. Any questions?”

He was already backing toward the stairs. He only waited a moment, then gave a quick nod and said, “Dismissed.”

I stood and walked over to Jeff. He looked fine, but I noticed the little things, like the way he kept stuffing his hands into his pockets and then pulling them out again. He was frustrated and I couldn’t blame him—this was new territory, being forced to share leadership of the team. He didn’t like that the guys had asked what I thought.

“Sorry about that,” I said. “I think your plan’s great. Guess the team just wanted to make sure we agreed.”

Jeff’s smile was tight, but he shrugged. “You’re the co-captain.” Then he turned to face a couple other guys from the team.

I went down the stairs leading off the stage and crossed to the auditorium exit. Mia and Addie were already there, watching the crowd make their way through the halls. I stood one step behind them, suddenly unsure of what to say.

Addie glanced back at me, then at Mia. She opened her mouth to say something, then clicked it shut again. I barely heard her muffled voice as she walked away. “See you guys later.”

I watched her back until she disappeared behind some tall guy in a leather jacket. I couldn’t help wishing again, for just a second, I could read her like I could most people.

“I’m happy to see you’re less dangerous at school than behind the wheel of a car.” Mia’s voice was soft, a hint of humor behind it.

I stepped forward to stand beside her. “Yeah, it’s harder to live on the edge here, but I try my best. I run with scissors constantly, and I gave myself a wicked paper cut this morning.”

“Keep this up and you might seem fairly normal.” She glanced at me and I felt a momentary rush when her eyes met mine. Then she smiled and shook her head. “I better go. See you around.”

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