Inspired by Night: - a sexy new age romance (16 page)

‘She burst into the office to tell him she’s pregnant.’

I could hear the defeat in my voice. Ruth’s mouth fell open and she stared at me for a long time. She turned to the barman,

‘We’re going to need tequila over here and a couple of raspberry martinis.’ She instructed him.

She pushed a shot of tequila towards me and I threw it back gratefully, the pale yellow liquid burning the back of my throat and distracting me momentarily from the misery I was feeling.

We took our cocktails and settled into a booth on the far side of the bar.

‘So what’s he going to do?’ She asked.

I shrugged.

‘I don’t know. He took a few days off to get his head round it all.’ I smiled sadly, ‘he said he couldn’t think straight around me, I made him want to do the wrong thing.’

Ruth’s eyes widened and her mouth dropped open.

‘So you think he wants to do the right thing?’

‘He’s that type of guy I guess, he doesn’t want to be this time, but I think he will all the same.’ I shrugged and stuck out my bottom lip, ‘I should’ve snapped him up when I had the chance.’

‘So you were cautious, this still might have happened even if you had snapped him up.’

Ruth was trying to reassure me but it didn’t make me feel better.

‘Maybe I’d have been there that night, or he would’ve been with me somewhere else.’ I pointed out.

‘Or maybe you snapped him up after and she still turns up pregnant. At least you don’t have the heartache of him leaving you for her.’

I closed my eyes at her words. They were too horrible. ‘Of course if he had an actual choice in the matter he would obviously choose you.’ She added, supportively.

‘It’s such a mess. She finds him when he’s drunk, fucks him, gets pregnant. It’s like she planned it. But why?’ I frowned, it didn’t make any sense, ‘Surely she doesn’t just fancy him that much? But what else could it be?’

‘Is she mentally ill? Is she convinced she’s in love and determined to tie him to her forever? Maybe she’s not even pregnant.’

I hadn’t considered that.
Could she be making it up?

‘Of course, she might insist they get married before she starts to show so she will look good in the photos, then conveniently she miscarries.’ I suggested, hopefully.

‘But then he would just divorce her surely? It’s not a very good long-term plan if all she wants is to be with him.’

I shook my head, accepting defeat and leant back in my seat.

‘I guess I don’t know enough about him to know what other reason she would have. I guess it doesn’t matter anymore. The one that got away.’

‘At least you still have the cyber vampire.’ she grinned.

I felt my face flush betraying my embarrassment. I didn’t know what Ruth would make of Chris, I had moments when I felt ashamed to admit to myself that I found his attention erotic and that I looked forward to our communications. I tried to prevent the secret smile pulling at the corner of my mouth but it was too late, Ruth had noticed it before I could stop it.

‘Spill, Olly, what’s he done now?’ I closed my eyes embarrassed.

‘OK, you remember I told you he’s advising me with losing weight?’

‘I do,’ she nodded, ‘and he seems to be doing a good job, you look fantastic.’

‘Thanks, although that’s more credit to you and your shopping skills.’

I tried valiantly to change the subject.

‘It’s a special talent I have. Continue.’
Damn!

I recounted the conversation we had shared last week, him asking what I wore to exercise and his comments about fucking me from behind. I faltered as I said the words, closing my eyes in shame but feeling a delightful warmth rush through my body at the memory. I had no idea why I found those words so arousing. Ruth leant forward captivated by my tale, dropping her mouth when I told her about the webcam and him openly perving at my backside.

‘Please tell me you were not wearing those hideous pyjamas that look like a 1950s American high school basketball kit.’ She wrinkled her nose is disgust. I nodded, grinning.

‘The very same.’ I giggled at her reaction.

‘So what does he look like, is he the cute guy who looks like Angel?’ she asked, frowning as my face fell.

‘Well that’s the really annoying part. His webcam broke so although the microphone works the camera does not. I can’t see him.’

‘Denied. That is annoying’

‘He’s going to go buy a new one so hopefully I’ll get to see him soon. I hope he’s the Angel guy, I hope he’s not ugly.’ I blurted, my inappropriate filter had deteriorated the more cocktails I consumed. I knew I shouldn’t care what he looked like, but I did.

‘What does he sound like?’

I closed my eyes trying to summon up his voice in my mind.

‘Sort of dreamy,’ I murmured, while Ruth rolled her eyes and made gagging gestures. ‘He sounds gentle, but authoritative, and he has an American accent.’

‘No wonder he likes your shorts then!’ She giggled. I smiled, relieved that she wasn’t outraged by the nature of the conversations we had been having. ‘You’ll be having cybersex before you know it,’ she grinned, waggling her eyebrows suggestively at me.

‘Cybersex?’

‘Got to keep things alive haven’t you? Basically, you talk each other through masturbating, pretending your hands are their hands doing what they tell you they want to do. We used to do it all the time during the college breaks, and sometimes if Andrew is working away.’ She trailed off noticing the look of horror on my face. I put my hands over my ears.

‘Too much information,’ I cried, she laughed at me and rolled her eyes. ‘There’s no way I’m doing that, I’d feel stupid.’

‘I thought that at first, but it’s pretty erotic once you get past the embarrassment. And it’s safer than one night stands, and you can pretend he’s that gorgeous poster pin up, imagine the fun you could have!’

I just couldn’t imagine it, I was only just evolving to the point where masturbating didn’t fill me with guilt and shame, but that was a very new thing, I doubted I could cope with someone watching me.
Could I?
It had been quite a revelation hearing Ruth describe it; she obviously didn’t think it was something to be ashamed of. I remembered the reactions through my body whenever Chris said anything about sex and tried to imagine how I’d react if he was directing me to pleasure myself. I felt a shiver run down my spine, gathering in a pool in my crotch. I squirmed in my seat and exhaled slowly.

I felt drunk suddenly. I couldn’t remember how many drinks we’d had, five or six maybe. I had forgotten to eat before coming out to meet Ruth and my stomach was growling at me.

‘I think I need to go home.’ I mumbled.

‘Me too. Your face is all swirly.’ She giggled.

I giggled too. If Ruth had double vision there was no hope for me. I’d be lucky to stand up.

‘I’m going to ring Andrew and get him to pick us up.’ She said as she stumbled out of her seat and made her way outside to use the phone.

I swayed across the room to the toilets and splashed my face over the sink. Feeling slightly refreshed and more awake I wiped the water away with a paper towel. It scratched across my face, the sensation reassuring me that I still had some senses. I looked in the mirror and saw streaks running through my make-up, dark lines from my mascara and water marks cutting through my foundation. I looked a mess, but I didn’t really care. I wiped my fingers under my eyes to remove the excess mascara and made my way outside.

Ruth and Andrew were waiting for me at the bar. Andrew handed me a pint glass filled with water and ordered me to drink. His arm was round Ruth protectively, holding her upright. She had her eyes closed, leaning into him. Ruth was capable of falling asleep upright so I downed my pint of water and motioned for us to leave while Ruth was still awake.

I battled feelings of nausea as we drove home. I was so hungry and I could feel the alcohol sloshing around my belly. I knew I would be fine if I ate something. I wondered how many calories I had left. How many calories were there in a raspberry martini?

‘Can you just drop me at the top of my road? I want to get some food, I forgot to eat dinner.’ I called to Andrew from the back seat. He nodded and pulled up outside City Pizza.

‘You sure you’ll be OK?’

‘Yes of course, I only live there.’

I pointed at my building a couple of houses along from the pizza place. Andrew nodded and after wishing me a good night he drove home. Ruth was fast asleep in the passenger seat.

I concentrated on walking into City Pizza. Antonio, the owner, was sat at the side of the counter. He stood up, grinning, when he saw me.

‘Bella, Olivia!’ He exclaimed.

I had always found it comforting to have become such a regular that the staff and proprietor knew me, Ruth thought it was a bad thing, showing just how bad my diet was.

‘It’s been so long, where you been hiding?’ He asked.

‘Hey, Tony, I’ve been dieting, trying to lose some weight.’

He took hold of my arms and looked at me.

‘So I see, you waste away to nothing, Antonio will feed you up, what would you like?’

‘The usual please, Tony.’ I said gratefully.

The smell of toasted cheese was driving me insane. I’m certain Antonio could hear my stomach growling.

I watched him while he worked, throwing mushrooms and pepperoni on to the base and sprinkling the grated cheese across the top. If I had to choose one food to eat forever it would be pizza. I rested my head on the counter and became aware I was drooling onto my hand. I was so hungry.

Finally Antonio handed me a pizza box and grinning I made my way the few yards to my flat. I knew I had to be patient to avoid burning my mouth but I was so desperate to eat. I opened the box and left it on the sofa while I filled a pint glass with water.

Sitting down, I let out a loud sigh, happy to be home. I picked up the first slice of pizza and sank my teeth into the melted cheese and tomato. It tasted amazing, all the better for the extreme hunger I was feeling. The first slice was gone in seconds and I was pulling at the next slice, I could feel tomato sauce dripping down my chin and bits of mushroom dropping into my lap and down my top. I didn’t care, no one could see me and I was ravenous, compelled only to get rid of the nasty, drunk, empty feeling in my stomach as quickly as possible.

I slowed down after four slices, wiped my chin on the back of my hand and decided to open up the laptop. It was late but then my Knight in shining armour was a night owl.

I found his contact details in the previous callers list and clicked connect. The laptop rang, I didn’t know what to expect but after a short time my image dropped to a small rectangle in the bottom of a plain black window.

‘Good evening, Liv, did you just pick pepperoni out of your cleavage?’ I had forgotten he could see me. I grinned.

‘I forgot to eat before I went out so I’m eating pizza. I don’t even care how many calories that will cost me.’ I said matter of factly.

I heard him laughing.

‘Are you a little bit drunk, Liv?’

‘No!’ I realised I sounded offended and stopped, smiling ‘I’m a lot drunk!’ I grinned, taking another bite of pizza.

‘Did you have a nice time?’

‘I did, but I got through an awful lot of alcohol. What did you do tonight?’

‘I was working with a client and then I came home to work on an essay.’

I was surprised by the pang of envy at his reference to a client. I remembered what he’d told me about his rewards.

‘Where did you fuck this one then? Changing rooms? Your car?’ I heard him chuckle.

‘The Jacuzzi actually.’

I snorted loudly and continued eating. I was angry at myself for being jealous, it’s not like I could ever do anything about it, I couldn’t be with him, being jealous was stupid.

‘So where are you going to fuck me?’ I heard silence for a moment and realised I’d surprised him, or offended him. I waited to see what he would say and eventually I recognised the sound of his quiet laugh.

‘Well that’s a little tricky, you’ll have to find an excuse to come visit me, and then I’ll fuck you anywhere you want, Liv.’ His voice had lost his teasing tone; it was soft and gentle, but commanding. It sounded honest and at odds with his words. I realised I loved the way he said “fuck” and clenched my thighs involuntarily.

I let out a slow quiet breath and took a sip of water. I was feeling brave because of all the alcohol.

‘I might just take you up on that, Mr Knight.’ I said trying to inject as much seduction into my tone as I could muster. I stood up, depositing the pizza box on the kitchen counter and walking towards the hallway, removing my jacket. I heard a whistle from the laptop and I turned round surprised, as I hung up my jacket.

‘Walk slowly, I want to look at you.’ His voice was commanding again, like when I’d demonstrated my push-ups earlier. I slowed down my pace and crept on tiptoes to the sofa. ‘You look beautiful.’

I flushed with pride and happiness.

‘Thank you. I need to change though, I’m not overly comfortable in this kind of outfit.’

‘Getting ready for bed? Do I get to see some comfortable flannel pyjamas?’ The teasing tone had returned to his voice and I smiled.

‘I suppose so, if you’re sticking around.’ I walked slowly towards the hallway again, swinging my hips from side to side knowing he would be looking at my bottom.

Chapter Twenty

I pulled open the nightwear drawer, gathering all the items into my arms and dumped them on the bed. I had no idea if I had anything in there that was vaguely attractive but I knew I wasn’t about to walk back into the living room wearing tatty but comfortable pyjamas.

I rummaged through all the items on the bed until I spotted them. Brian had bought me some kind of sexy nightwear for Christmas, optimistically thinking I’d wear it for him, but of course that would have encouraged him and I certainly didn’t want to do that, so the offending items had been shoved to the furthest corner of the nightwear drawer. The set was a matching vest and shorts in black sheer material with lace edging and pink satin ribbon woven through the top edge. They were pretty but they didn’t leave anything to the imagination, I would need to wear something underneath or Chris would see everything. I felt a moment of disgust as I pictured Brian shopping for these, I wondered if he picked up the first thing he saw or if he compared a few sets. I shuddered and shook my head, clearing the image from my mind.