Instant Orgasm: Excitement at First Touch (36 page)

With regard to coming to see us for training sessions and workshops, some men may have other issues, such as the cost, or not wanting to have their be- loved leave them for a few days, or whatever. Again, these issues can be negoti- ated and turned into a way for everybody to win.

Bibliography

Alson, Sheila, and Gayle B. Burnett.
Peacein Everyday Relationships.
Alameda, CA: Hunter House Publishers, 2003.

Angier, Natalie.
Woman: An Intimate Geography
. New York: Houghton Mif- flin, 1999.

Baranco, Vic.
Things I’ve Heard Vic Say,
vol. 6. Lafayette, CA: More University Press, 1991.

Bodansky, Steve and Vera.
To Bed or Not to Bed: What Men Want, What Women Want, How Great Sex Happens
. Alameda, CA: Hunter House

Publishers, 2006.

Bodansky, Steve and Vera.
The Illustrated Guide to Extended Massive Orgasm.

Alameda, CA: Hunter House Publishers, 2002.

Bodansky, Steve and Vera.
Extended Massive Orgasm: How You Can Give and Receive Intense Sexual Pleasure
. Alameda, CA: Hunter House Publishers,

2000.

Chopra, Deepak.
Life after Death: The Burden of Proof
. New York: Harmony Books, Crown Publishers, 2006.

Davies, Clair, and Amber Davies.
The Trigger Point Therapy Workbook: Your Self-Treatment Guide for Pain Relief.
Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publi-

cations, Inc., 2004.

Dawkins, Richard.
The Selfish Gene
. Oxford, UK: Oxford University Press, 1976.

Fisher, Helen.
The Sex Contract: The Evolution of Human Behavior.
New York: William Morrow, 1982.

Hofstadter, Douglas
. I Am a Strange Loop
. New York: Basic Books, 2007.

172

B i bliogr aphy

Kinsey, Alfred, Paul H. Gebhard, Clyde E. Martin, and Wardell B. Pomeroy.
Sexual Behavior in the Human Female
. Philadelphia, PA: W.B. Saunders Company, 1953.

Kundera, Milan.
Slowness
. New York: Harper Collins, 1995.

Masters, William H., Virginia E. Johnson, and Robert C. Kolodny.
Sex and Human Loving
. Boston, MA: Little, Brown and Co., 1982.

Minsky, Marvin.
The Society of Mind
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Northrup, Christiane.
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173

Index

A

abdomen, pressure on, 95 acknowledgment of pleasure, im-

portance of, 54, 69–71

agreement between partners, impor- tance of, 81–82, 110–111

Albolene (lubricant), 38

Alson, Sheila, 82

anal area, and self-touch, 37

anger as an enemy of turn-on, 79– 80, 83, 154–155

antidepressants and sexual desire, 168 anus, 37, 58

aromas, 78–79, 117

asking for what you want, 64–65 assigned authors, 155–156

Astroglide (lubricant), 38

attention, focusing, 26–27

attention-focusing exercise, 26–27

attention spans, 137–138

B

Baranco, Vic, 15, 51

bathtub, touching yourself in, 28 bidet, 29

breaks, taking, 131–133, 135 Burnett, Gayle B., 82

C

chemistry, role of in sexual attrac- tion, 83–85

childbirth, and decreased libido, 154–155

clitoral orgasm, 19

clitoris, 3, 18–19, 32; exposing, 93–95; no feeling in, 138–139; quadrants of, 119, 123; retracting the hood,

104–106; self-stimulation of, 32– 34; stroking the lower clitoris, 107

communication: extending peaks by talking, 136–137; and the impor- tance of acknowledging pleasure, 50–51, 53–54

condoms, and petroleum-based lubricants, 38

confidence, importance of, 76–77, 110–111, 113

connections exercise, 38, 42–43, 46,

47–48

control: importance of, 110–111, 143;

reasserting, 83

crotch diving, 120, 122

crotch sneeze, 13–14, 165

culture, and attitudes to pleasure, 51, 134–135

D

Dawkins, Richard, 20 Demonstration of Extended Massive

Orgasm (DEMO), 17 detumescence,
xi

174

doubt as an enemy of turn-on, 79– 80, 154–155, 164

E

ejaculation: female, 147; by hand, 161–162; and orgasm, 32; prema-

ture, 10; stopping, 145–146

ejaculatory phase, 18, 22, 31 emotional attachment, need for, 153–

154

enlightenment, 16

erection: secondary, 145; and self- pleasure, 31–32

exercises: attention-focusing, 26–27;

connections, 38, 42–43, 46, 47–48

Extended Massive Orgasm
(Bodan- sky), 147, 156

extended massive orgasm (EMO),
xi,

3; compared to instant orgasm,

12–13; and feeling of completion, 158–159; and peaking, 130

F

fantasy, use of, 29, 84 feedback, importance of, 52 first-stroke mentality, 141

fragrance, 78–79, 117

frames (memories), 133–135

Freud, Sigmund, 19

G

G-spot, 128, 168–169

gender: and differences in response, 17–18; and differences in turn-on, 22–23

genitals: concentrating on pleasure in, 25–26, 65–66; exposing the

clitoris, 93–95; female, 33; labia,

34, 36, 117, 122; lubrication of,

100–103; penis, squeezing, 97–99; pulling, stretching, and apply- ing pressure, 34–35, 92; touching yourself in the tub or shower, 28; touching yourself with a water hose, 28–29; touching yourself with your hand, 30; vulva, pres- sure on, 95–97

Gräfenburg, Ernest, 169

H

hand placement on a woman’s body, 85–86

hands-on genital stimulation, 10 heat, directing to genitals, 72–73 herpes, 156–157

Hofstadter, Douglas, 133

I

I Am a Strange Loop
(Hofstadter),

133

Illustrated Guide to Extended Mas- sive Orgasm, The
(Bodansky), 115

imagination, power of, 64

information, inheriting, 50–61 inner thighs, stroking, 36–37

instant orgasm (IO),
xi,
2, 120; com-

pared to extended massive or-

gasm, 12–13; first step toward, 20–21; as learned skill, 11–12, 21; liberating power of, 16; as new definition of orgasm, 11; training your partner to give, 55; training your partner to receive, 58–59, 61–63

integrity, 80–81

intercourse, 19, 159–160, 165–166

J

Jacuzzi, touching yourself in, 28 journals, erotic, 22, 134–135

K

K-Y Jelly, 38

Kama Sutra
, 51

Kundera, Milan, 131

L

labia, 34, 36, 117, 122

language: extending peaks by talk- ing, 136–137; and the importance of acknowledging pleasure, 50– 51, 53–54; and orgasm, 13–14

lighting, 92, 115

lubricant: applying, 44–45; how to apply, 100–103; for a man, 103; and stimulation of a too-sensitive clitoris, 90; types of, 38

M

Masters and Johnson, 18 masturbation, 18; and peaking, 147–

148; single-stroke, 45–47.
See also

self-pleasure

meditation, 163

memories, 133–135

men: and experience of pleasure, 17– 18; and masturbation, 43–48; and

self-touch, 31–32 “Michael Douglas” stroke, 62

mind/body connection, 25, 65–66

N

negative occurrence, addressing a, 71–72

negativity about sex, 50–51 nervous system, functional, 26

noticing and appreciating a partner, 77–78

O

oral sex, 10

orgasm: coital, 19; “crotch sneeze” type, 13–14; defined, 14; demon-

strations of, 17, 20; during inter- course, 165–166; and language, 13–14; old type of, 18–19; point- and-feel, 73–74; time required for, 3–6; vaginal and clitoral, 19

orgasmic pleasure, giving to a trained woman, 121–129; dif- ferent strokes, 124–125; the first peak, 124; if it feels like work, 127; positions, 125–126; stroking the clitoris, 123; surround stroke, 127–128

orgasmic pleasure, giving to an un- trained woman, 111–120; chal- lenges, 115–116; crotch diving, 120; finding the right pressure, 118–120; instant orgasm (IO), 120; position, 113–115; touching,

116–118

orgasmic response, faked, 87–88, 111

overweight, 115

P

partners: noticing and appreciating, 77–78; training to give you plea- sure, 52–55; training to receive pleasure, 55–59