Instinct: The Power to Unleash Your Inborn Drive (15 page)

Even people within the same fields of study must work together to resolve larger problems than either could tackle alone. While both are scientists, a psychologist’s role is different from a psychiatrist’s and a neurologist’s. One may realize that a patient has a neurological problem that no amount of counseling or medication will resolve. The patient progresses or declines based on their physician’s ability to find an intersection with other professionals who don’t provide what they do in order to benefit the patient’s well-being. Such collaborative efforts work only when you’re broad enough in your scope to survey outside of your skill set!

Many unlikely bedfellows find strength when they learn to capitalize on their differences. Business partnerships, social relationships, and marriages all benefit from respecting and integrating each other’s differences rather than trying to override them.

My wife is an introvert and I am primarily an extrovert. I’ve learned not to try and make her refuel in the crowd, and she’s learned not to try and make me lie
down and refuel in solitude. I hate naps and she hates noise! Yet still we’re able to complement each other as we’ve found the intersections in our uniqueness. Thank God I didn’t marry someone like me—our kids would’ve been left home alone!

If your creativity is free to roam, it will inevitably grow to an intersection where you must recognize the differences and respect them. In order to build these alliances based on the intersection of common goals, you have to be willing to understand the uniqueness of each other’s structures and form unions for the greater good.

Yes, you can achieve good things and stay within your yard to do it. But if you’re interested in the greater good, you will have to learn how to operate in different arenas. The broader your world becomes, the more flexible you must be in adapting to social constructs that play by different rules.

Now, once we’ve found the intersection of common needs, we must look for the proverbial win-win, a convergent strategy encompassing the desired outcomes of all stakeholders, which I call
integration
. Whether in business, marriage, or other areas of life, alliances work only when both parties’ needs are met and respected in a cross-section of opportunity.
An integration of expectations is the goal we want to pursue.

In this pursuit, the art of negotiation becomes an essential tool. You don’t have to be Warren Buffett to need to understand the power of negotiation. Those who negotiate from a selfish perspective of getting what they want at any cost, without integrating a plan that includes and respects others’ needs, will always fail. An integrated strategy inherently addresses each individual party’s motives, agendas, and goals in the midst of their larger, shared goal. This integration-based strategy includes the fulfillment of those needs in such a way that all differences are respected without losing sight of the ultimate objective.

Also, allow me to explain the crucial difference between merely tolerating these differences versus integrating them. The term
tolerance
is, in my view, deeply overrated. Tolerating differences might be an expression of political correctness, but in order for people to feel fulfilled in life, they must be much more than tolerated. They must feel that their talents, resources, and needs are an integral part of the planning. No one feels comfortable when they’re merely tolerated. Toleration tends to be a temporary token. Most people can tolerate for only so long before their patience wears thin and shreds the garment of acceptance they gave to others.

If you want to be successful and outrun and outthink the herd, then you must negotiate by respecting
differences and accommodating them in such a way that people feel that their uniqueness isn’t just tolerated but is respectfully integrated into the plan. Women in the corporate world appreciate employers who include paid maternity leave and child care. Such benefits will not be used by all, but their inclusion indicates an awareness of personal needs that cannot be ignored. All employees, both female and male, respect employers with an appreciation for cultivating and keeping the best talent in the company.

An integration of participants’ needs and desires must be an integral part of any union in order for it to succeed. Including me without integrating what you know to be my needs as a spouse, a partner, a customer, an employee, or just a colleague ultimately dooms our relationship. If you’re going to broaden your circle, you must change your thinking to integrate my objectives with your own. Without this component, the other individual, auxiliary, or company will only feel violated by the association, and the opportunity will eventually dissolve.

Finally, the fourth and perhaps most vital step is
execution
. A net doesn’t work until it’s thrown. No fisherman would make a net for fishing and leave it on the boat. You must know how to leverage your alliances by
turning your integration strategy into action points. Execution is critical for accomplishment. If you don’t execute the plans you have in place, it doesn’t matter how inspired you may be, it doesn’t matter how meticulously you look for the common touchpoints of integration, and it doesn’t even mean much if you integrate my needs into your plans. Inspiration without execution will always lead to frustration.

Whenever I look across the field and see beyond my line of achievement, it always means that relationship will be the bridge that takes me there. If I build the relationship on proposals and promises but fail to execute what I predicted, it won’t be long before I’ve lost my opportunity to play on the wider field. If you can’t learn to be a part of the team and transform ideas into actions, then ideas become worthless.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been in a meeting or with a group of bright, creative, talented people who get stuck in their own ideas. Their ideas may seem good and some great, but without execution it’s ultimately impossible to evaluate the worth of an idea. In order for your innate ability to produce a product, create a craft, or establish an industry, you must have action points.

What needs to happen in order for this marketing campaign to have the major impact we want it to have for our product? Who’s going to design the pop-up ads? Who’s going to determine which sites they go on? Who’s going to buy radio airtime? Who’s going to
make sure all the ads align with the same theme and consistent language? Who’s going to follow up with consumer awareness groups? And on and on the process goes, until all pieces are in place.

Your ability to transform inspiration into an intersection where integration takes place will only be as powerful as your execution. And eventually, your ability to execute will become a matter of integrity. Are you known for having good ideas but not being able to follow through? For overpromising and underdelivering? Or will you be known as someone who not only follows your instincts for excellence but exchanges them for action and carries out decisions once you’ve made them? Especially with collaborative efforts, which we’ve seen are usually the most effective, it’s an incredible breach of trust to other stakeholders when any individual does not do his or her part in the process. Everyone does their part in order to achieve the large-scale results that will benefit them all.

An instinct without execution is only a regret. As we’ve seen, all of us have the ability to achieve more by harnessing our intellect to our instincts. We need other people—more than just the usual suspects. Extend your net and make it work in new and instinctive ways—you might be surprised what you can catch!

T
he most frequent question I am asked when interviewed is “How do you manage so many different things at the same time?” When I try to explain, the best metaphor I can devise is that of the juggler. The art of juggling requires tossing two or more objects in a rhythmic sequence so that they continue moving without hitting the ground.

If you hold one object in your hand and toss it in the air, it’s not really juggling. You’re just tossing a ball. A juggler manages to keep objects airborne in a smooth, even flow that utilizes gravity in sync with his own dexterity. He keeps giving each object just enough of a push so that all items remain suspended and none falls out of sequence. If you hope to live by your instincts, then you must recognize that you will be a juggler.

How does this happen? Have you ever heard the
phrase “one thing leads to another”? This also holds true about the many worlds that you have to manage as you progress and take on new initiatives. Whether you are broadening your horizons or your current responsibilities are broadening you, life demands more to play every day! If you conquer one space, it creates opportunity and responsibility in other spaces and places. If you follow your instincts, it not only opens up the arena you’re pursuing, but it also expands your possibilities into other arenas you didn’t originally anticipate.

Many people don’t realize that instincts are not just a key to the next dimension; they’re more like the master key that opens up new worlds beyond your wildest dreams. What feels enclosed by huge trees and massive shrubbery keeps going and opens up into an expanse leading to plains, rivers, and mountains. Every meadow is adjacent to another, so as you step into the one you expected, it will also be interconnected with others that you might not have anticipated.

Everything you touch is touching something connected to it. This connectivity is crucial to understand no matter what the field. Points of contact are used to measure the impact of marketing. Relational networks transmit the energy for global economics. Connections serve as catalysts for collaborations and corporations. Our technological connectivity has produced social networks that continue to cause some companies to rise and some to collapse. Opportunities, like
the information highway itself, move at warp speed! If you understand the touch points, you can be far more effective than ever before.

In my case, I have movie sets that require me for film production. I have my writing, which is both an avocation as well as a vocation. I have my speaking that I do from time to time on college campuses for leadership conferences. I have my ministry through the church and the pastoral team I enjoy leading. I have preaching, which is my calling and my heart. There’s the music label I own and the occasional plays I produce. Those responsibilities would split me apart if I didn’t find what holds them together. In my case, the common denominator is communication.

Lay out your life and the jungles you operate in like a map on an excursion, and plan the trip. I’ll bet if you find the common denominators, you can manage to get your hands on everything, touching it at least long enough so it has your brand on it. One thing they all share is you! What else do you see that unites them? If you are involved in them and effective at them, there is something common to them that connects the jungles!

Global thinkers and instinctive leaders keep the forty-thousand-foot view in sight while managing to keep their feet on the ground—at least sometimes.
They are persons whose lives or talents have taken them to a level at which new doors open into new areas of influence, and all of them require some time investment to manage.

Of course, you don’t have to juggle if you outsource control to other companies or persons and rely on their efficiency to manage areas that are not central to your core objectives. This can make your life less complicated, but it will also make your life less profitable and give you less ability to determine the outcome. It’s like hiring someone to raise your children; it may make your life less complicated, but it gives you less influence over the outcome.

Growth requires that you manage many things, appear many places, and evolve constantly in a reactionary way to the demands that are birthed through the opportunities you have been given. Now, in truth we are all limited resources, so the first thing one must do is decide what opportunity will get your time and how much time is required to make that work efficiently.

You don’t have to build a farm, start a company, or run a university to get the rhythm of management and juggle responsibilities. Anyone who cooks knows that cooking has a rhythm. This sauce cooks for this long, so while it’s simmering stir the other. Yes, good cooks have rhythm and they know how to juggle. The roast is in the oven while the potatoes are soaking. The table
is set while the soup simmers. Pacing is everything in cooking!

In business sessions I have always taught that if you make a living doing something that requires your hands, your business is automatically limited by your having only two hands. You simply cannot micromanage everything and expect to thrive. But the adept juggler keeps all items moving by giving each of them enough attention to keep them in rotation.

If you have the kind of personality, product, or mission that excels, you will inevitably find yourself operating in several different jungles at the same time. The Bible says, “A man’s gift will make room for him, and brings him before great men” (Prov. 18:16). If you follow your instincts and apply your intellect, your success will lead to new doorways of destiny and new windows of worldwide wonder.

From my experience and observation, this expansion of ideas and opportunities often occurs more frequently when you’re focused on excellence in only one arena at first. People who take a shotgun approach and rush at everything available cannot maintain focus and gain enough momentum to succeed in any area. Ironically, when you deliberately try to take on
multiple jungles, you may not learn to survive in any of them!

Growth isn’t always a result of exceeding boundaries, as much as it is shared interests and the common square of shared space. Consider the way business needs are interconnected and therefore conglomerates emerge. World markets ebb and flow and create economic tides that pour from one culture to another. Even in our shopping malls, retailers share common facilities to attract shared consumers.

The economics of the world are so interconnected that economic shifts in one country affect countries around the world. Now brokers have to be bilingual—if not speaking multiple languages—in order to be competitive as their conversation is no longer communal but global. The brokers must be concerned about what’s happening beyond their borders primarily because the borders touch. They don’t just touch geographically but interculturally and relationally. So as they learn the language of the worlds they touch, they increase advancement and improve efficiency. The message is clear: you can no longer stay in your lane and compete in the race!

Highly instinctive people have more to learn than the nuances of their home base. They must be astute at knowing more about the worlds they touch and how to understand the languages, cultural systems, and best business practices to meet those needs with proficiency and understanding. I can guarantee you,
every action you make is touching more than who you think. You must realize that what you do in your corner affects the whole house, as we are all inextricably interconnected.

Discovering the interconnectivity of your various jungles as you launch into new adventures of self-discovery will only enhance your journey. On a personal level, once you leave your cage, you are less likely to allow limits to define possibilities ever again. Beyond personal experience, you discover an overarching sense of purpose and destiny that guides you beyond your territory. Listening to your instincts gives you one of the best chances to make a real and meaningful difference in the world around you.

The ground you walk upon reverberates with the decisions you make and echoes with your lifestyle choices. Like anything that spreads by touch, instinctive influence cannot be contrived, controlled, or regulated. Your instincts will take you over the border and across the fence, and with them come collaboration and cooperation. Once you have a sense of living by instinct, you will amass unlikely teams, connecting people, places, and things in a way others before you have never imagined.

Before long, your simultaneous environments will
align like spokes in a wheel that has you as its hub. And as your circle of contacts continues to enlarge, you will be able to cover more ground with each revolution.

But this is not about turning the wheel faster or winning a race; it’s about your direction, your purpose. Connectivity must not be used to inflame the greedy or empower the selfish. It provides a guide to unearthing your power to function in a pluralistic society in various orbits for a purpose greater than yourself. It is this pursuit of your purpose and passions that lands you in a broader context, exploring new possibilities and challenging limitations. It is an awareness of the way fulfilling your own destiny allows others to fulfill theirs, both through example and through connection.

When I was preparing to travel to South Africa, I was reminded of the need to contact my cell phone service provider and notify them to activate international coverage. While some carriers have comprehensive plans, many of them vary the rates depending on the specific countries where I would be traveling. Like a cell phone, your gifts will work in other jungles, other countries, and other arenas. So understand the challenge is not about your gifts, personality, or talent operating in other settings as much as it about how to access those multiple settings simultaneously.

Where are your instincts leading you? Your first step in learning to juggle settings smoothly may be looking ahead and anticipating where you might be heading. Although you never know where your instinctive gifts may lead, this doesn’t mean that you don’t set your GPS on a destination! Look around the corner and consider where you want to be in six months, two years, a decade from now.

You can never begin this process too early. Even as children, the dreams we had and the direction provided by our parents and mentors often set us on a trajectory for triumph. I am forever grateful for the amazing foresight my parents had in allowing me to visit places and stations in life beyond where I began. Though our family had modest means, we didn’t have impoverished dreams. So my parents planted seeds for success in myself and my siblings whenever they could.

They drove us through beautifully manicured neighborhoods and pointed out exquisite homes where they knew they would never live. They allowed us to taste gourmet cuisine, listen to operas, watch ballets, and reflect on artistic masterpieces. Now, we couldn’t stay long or eat much, but my parents knew that you can’t evolve into what you won’t explore. They knew we couldn’t stay there at that time, but they wanted us to glimpse how our future could unfold. They wanted our instinctive talents to roam beyond our present coverage!

You see, freedom is often as much a state of mind as it is a state of being. They liberated us to know what was out there in hopes it might ignite something inside us that we could be or do. They didn’t know where we would end up or the ways in which our worlds would expand and evolve. They probably didn’t consider that everything we touch leads us to a new gateway for future success. They simply knew that they wanted to enlarge our world.

As we learn to juggle, we often misperceive the bandwidth of our abilities. We mistakenly think we must eliminate or compromise one jungle in order to enter another. But here’s the news flash: this isn’t either-or!

Many times people choose what’s next at the expense of forsaking what is. You could start a business
and
keep your career. You could explore your passion for music
and
start a family. You could remain on the corporate ladder
and
pursue completing your college degree. Not either-or but
and
!

It is possible to add without subtracting. If you add infrastructure to increase, you end up with empires that empower more than you can imagine! The idea of managing more intimidates some people, because they add by subtracting. Their way is to add this, take away
that, and basically trade one for the other. They forget about creative, strategic moves that adapt to
and
.

Your cup is supposed to run over. It not only overflows with abundance in your own life, but into the lives of those around you. Your ability to juggle multiple worlds directly affects your community—producing new jobs, new ideas, and new universities.

Universities? Yes! Not necessarily the institutions of higher learning that typically come to mind, but a collection of people learning from one another. A university is simply a community of teachers and students, experts and apprentices working together, or, as it’s expressed in Latin,
universitas magistrorum et scholarium
. The prevailing notion is that the up-and-comers learn from those ahead of them.