Intensive Care: Escape to the Country (4 page)

“Can I say something?” Melissa’s voice was soft as she looked Kate in the eye.

Kate nodded, recognizing the look of concern, and grateful once again for her friend’s support.

“Sure, Mel. You can say anything you like.” She lifted the latte to her lips and took a sip.

Melissa was short and petite, but her tiny size belied an inner strength. She had been Kate’s rock after the baby, and was once again proving what a great friend she was.

The two friends had been sitting in a quiet corner of their favorite café for almost half an hour. There had been many things Kate wanted to say but she hadn’t been able to find the words. Instead, she had sat mostly in silence drinking her coffee and breaking off small pieces of muffin, putting each one into her mouth and chewing slowly as though unable to taste what she was eating. She had sat gazing at nothing for the longest time as she searched for the right way to express her feelings.

How could she describe the huge ball of pain that sat inside her? Every time she thought of what Marcus had done, the intensity of his betrayal rose up like heartburn, causing an ache that wouldn’t go away. She wanted to ask Melissa how she was supposed to face the future without Marcus, but the words stuck in her throat, like the dry pieces of muffin she was trying to swallow.

Melissa had assured Kate she could have more time off if she needed it. Kate knew she should take her up on the offer as she was finding it difficult to concentrate at work. Some days all she wanted to do was fall in a heap and cry. She was trying to get over the pain of losing Marcus, but her whole world had shifted on its axis and she still had no idea how to fix it.

Not only was she having difficulty moving on from Marcus, she was finding it increasingly hard to cope living with her parents. While she adored Michael and Elizabeth, it felt strange to be back at home, living under their roof and their rules. She felt like nothing had changed since she had moved out over ten years earlier. On the other hand, her parents were loving having their only daughter home again. Although Kate didn’t want to disappoint them by moving out, she knew she had to do something, and soon.

Melissa’s question had broken into her contemplation.

“I really think you need to talk to Marcus. You can’t keep avoiding him,” Melissa said.

“So far I’ve managed to,” Kate retorted as she banged her glass down onto the timber table, missing the ceramic saucer she had been aiming for. The spoon rattled. She pursed her lips in irritation.

“Has he called you? Tried to explain?” Melissa asked.

“He doesn’t
stop
calling! He texts me up to ten times a day! I’m going to have to get a new phone number.”

“But how much longer can you keep avoiding him? I’m sure he knows you’re staying with your parents.”

“I
know
he does. I’ve seen his car drive past.”

“You can’t keep hiding from him, Katie. It’s not healthy.”

“I don’t want to see him.” Kate knew she sounded petulant.

Melissa let out a deep sigh. “Honestly, Kate, if you don’t deal with this and move on, it’s going to eat you up inside. It’s beginning to affect your work.”

Kate frowned and took another sip of her coffee. “I hate confrontation, Melissa, you know that. And what’s it going to achieve? I don’t want him back.”

“I’m not suggesting you take him back. But my advice, for what it’s worth, is that you should see him and talk it over with him. I know you’re not good with conflict, Kate, but this is important. You need some closure or something.”

“I just don’t think I’m strong enough to see him again without bursting into tears,” Kate replied. She fingered her silver ring, twisting it around and around. Melissa’s words had upset her.

“I think you’re stronger than you realize. In fact I
know
you are.”

Kate sat forward, struggling to find the right words. “I know what he’ll say, Mel. He’ll say he’s sorry and it will never happen again. He’ll just try to sweet-talk his way back into my life.” She looked at her friend, her brows pulling inward. “But how can I ever trust him again?”

“You don’t have to trust him again because you’re probably right. I know Marcus Thornton’s type.” Melissa paused, pressing her lips together in a slight grimace. “In fact, I know
Marcus
,
and people like him don’t change. He’s just the type to grovel, say sorry and drop down on one knee and propose.”

“Exactly! I’ve already told you, Mel, there’s no
way
I’m even going to speak to him ever again, let alone allow him back into my life!”

Kate knew she spoke with more force than was necessary. She was often told she wore her emotions on her sleeve, but the vehemence in her voice surprised even her. She could hardly believe she had once loved Marcus with everything within her. Where had that love gone? And how had it been replaced so quickly with hate?

“I’m not saying you have to let him back in your life at all. I know this is not the first time he’s let you down. But I
do
think you’re going to have to forgive him,” Melissa said.

“No way! Why should I forgive him after what he did to me? I forgave him once before and I shouldn’t have. I should have walked out on him then.” Kate crossed her arms and fell back into the chair, glaring at her friend.

“Forgiveness doesn’t excuse his behavior, Kate – it just prevents his behavior from destroying your heart again. Clearly I’m not going to be able to get you to change your mind right now, but give it some thought, okay? Have you ever heard that quote that forgiveness is not for the other person’s benefit but for yours? One day you’re going to end up bumping into him and it’s just going to be awkward if you don’t get it all out into the open now. If you don’t sort this out now, you’ll never have peace and this will follow you into your next relationship.”

Kate’s shoulders slumped as she let the truth of Melissa’s words sink in. She watched in tense silence as her friend finished off the remainder of the muffin and eventually wiped her lips with her paper napkin.

“You know I’ve always thought you and Marcus were poles apart from each other,” Melissa said, reaching out to touch Kate’s arm, “especially after the baby. You’ve got different expectations for the future. Sure he’s good-looking, has a great sense of humor and made you laugh, but a relationship is so much more than just that.” Melissa paused, waiting until Kate looked up and met her gaze. “So maybe all of this has happened for a reason.”

Kate sighed. “You sound just like Mum.”

All the anger was gone and Kate found herself sapped of energy again. She wondered if she was ever going to stop feeling so tired.

“Well it’s true. What did your dad say?”

Kate recalled how she had sat at the family dining table and told her dad what Marcus had done. Neither of her parents had even attempted to convince her to give Marcus a second chance. In fact, if Kate correctly recalled, Michael Kennedy’s words had been: “Good riddance to bad rubbish. Marcus Thornton is not good enough for any daughter of mine!” Thank goodness she’d never told them about the baby.

“Well he certainly doesn’t want me going back to him.”

“So, maybe this is the impetus for you to move on. Why don’t you consider a change of scenery? Do something different. I don’t know
,
take a chance
–
be spontaneous and go and find yourself again. Make a sea change or something.”

“Find myself?” Kate blinked rapidly in confusion, her mind racing. She fidgeted in her seat. “What do you mean?”

“Oh Katie, come on. You know you’ve been living under Marcus’s shadow for years and I don’t think you even know who you are anymore. He’s dressed you like his own personal mannequin, paying for everything for you just so you’ll measure up to what he’s looking for in a woman.”

Kate felt her face flushing. “What are you saying? I’ve been his doormat all these years?” Kate shook her head slightly and felt a tightening in her chest. She didn’t like where this conversation was heading and the anger was building inside her again.

“No, I’m not saying that. But I think it’s time to open yourself up to new opportunities and new possibilities. I think when you do, you’ll be amazed at the things and people that make their way into your life. Who knows, once you find yourself again, you might even meet the love of your life!” Melissa let out a small laugh, softening the blow of her words.

“There is no way I’m going to walk out of one relationship and straight into another one, let me assure you!”

Later that day, as Kate sat on her single bed in her childhood bedroom, a crazy thought dropped into her head. She opened the web browser on her laptop and typed the words “sea change” and “nursing” into the search engine. She knew what she was going to do the minute she saw the position advertised. Mel had told her to be spontaneous, so that’s what she was going to do.

Without even considering the ramifications of her decision, Kate followed the links and applied for the nurse unit manager position in a regional hospital in a town she’d never heard of. Birrangulla.
Where the heck is that?
A quick Google search told her it was a five-hour drive away over the Blue Mountains. Kate hit the submit button anyway and leaned back into her chair as a sense of relief washed over her like a cool sea breeze.

“Well, God,” she spoke to the air, “if you want me to have this job, you’d better make it happen quickly because although I love my parents, I don’t know if I can live with them for much longer!”

As Kate had tried to explain to her mum, moving back in with them after living away from home for so long was like a kick in the guts to her independence.

Kate was helping her mum prepare dinner less than an hour later when her phone rang. Seeing the blocked caller ID on her phone’s screen, Kate hoped it wasn’t Marcus.

“Hello,” she answered cautiously.

“Hello? Kate Kennedy?” A voice Kate didn’t recognize spoke.

“Yes, that’s me,” she replied hesitantly. Elizabeth gave her a questioning glance and Kate stepped out of the kitchen to get some privacy.

“Kate! Hi! My name is Belinda Grills. I’m the director of nursing at the Birrangulla Base Hospital. You applied for the unit manager position in the ICU. I’ve got your résumé in front of me here. Normally I’d get someone from human resources to call you but I wanted to make this call myself. I have to tell you, we are really impressed with your credentials and I’d love to make a time to interview you for the position.”

“Oh. Wow. Really? Already? I only just applied for the position this afternoon!” Kate spoke in a rush without thinking and then inwardly groaned.
Good one Kate – that didn’t sound very professional.
She looked behind her and hoped her mum hadn’t overheard but she could hear the clanging of saucepans in the kitchen and knew she was safe.

Belinda laughed and Kate liked the sound of it. She felt herself relaxing.

“Kate, I know you’re currently working in a large university hospital and it would be a big change for you moving to a regional center, but you’ve got some terrific experience and we could really use someone like you in Birrangulla. We’re in the middle of a building program and have just built a new ICU. We have been looking for someone for months and, to be quite honest with you, we are really struggling to attract applicants. That’s a problem most regional hospitals face I’m afraid. I worked with Melissa Bennett years ago and I know she wouldn’t be prepared to be one of your referees unless she thinks you’re someone pretty special. She obviously thinks very highly of you and I’d love to meet you in person to chat more about the job. I think you’d be a perfect fit.”

It sounded as though she was being offered the job over the phone.

“When would you want to interview me?” Kate asked.

“Is tomorrow too soon?”

Without hesitating Kate replied, “Tell me where and what time and I’ll be there!”

As she disconnected the call she looked upward. “Well, that was quick!”

Kate was about to rush back into the kitchen to tell Elizabeth about the upcoming job interview the following day when something within her told her that the timing for this next bombshell was going to have to be just perfect.

“You’re going
where
?” Kate’s dad asked incredulously the next morning as Kate was finishing her porridge and preparing to leave the house.

He had clearly just woken up, his salt and pepper hair flat on one side of his head. He was wrapping the cord of his dressing gown around his portly stomach as he spoke.

She glanced quickly out the window. It was still dark outside and she wanted to leave before the sun rose. Kate had decided not to tell them about the job interview, planning instead on leaving the house before they woke. She was going to leave them a note to say she would be gone all day.

“Oh Dad, come on,” Kate replied, drawing breath before speaking again. “I’ve been living away from home for almost ten years. I think by now I’m probably old enough to make my own decisions.”

“But Kathryn”
–
it was Elizabeth’s turn to try to reason with her only daughter
–
“do you think you should be making rash decisions right now? It’s only been a month and it’s still such an emotional time for you. Perhaps it would be better to just have a little break and recover from this. Go away and have a holiday or something. Planning a move to the country isn’t something you should just do on a whim.”

“I agree with your mum, Kate. I know you love watching all those British
Escape to the Country
type shows on TV, but actually doing it is another thing entirely.”

“Dad, I’m so tired of living in Sydney. I need to get away. I don’t know, maybe a change of scenery and a change of pace is what I need.”

“But why so far away?” Elizabeth complained. “Surely you could have found a job on the outskirts of the city. Why do you have to move to the country? I don’t even know where this Birrangulla place is.” Kate heard the beginning of a whine in her mum’s voice.

Her dad let out a sigh and Kate saw the look her parents exchanged.

“A tree change is something I’ve always dreamed of,” Kate said.

“Well it’s the first I’ve heard of it,” Elizabeth huffed.

“I think you’re romanticizing the whole thing, Katie darling,” Michael said. “I think you’ll find it’s not all acres of rolling green hills and paddocks full of horses. This is Australia remember, not England. Moving to the middle of woop woop where you don’t know anyone won’t be as easy as you seem to think. It’s hard for an outsider to fit in, especially when you’re an outsider from the city.”

Kate knew her dad had her best interests at heart but she didn’t want to listen to his negativity. She tried to reason with them. “It’s not like I’ve even been offered the job! This is only a first interview. I just want to go and check it out, that’s all. You both know it’s not like me to be spontaneous. I’ve spent the last three years just doing whatever Marcus needed me to do while he established his career and look where it got me.” Kate lifted her hands and shrugged her shoulders for emphasis. “Maybe it’s time for me to take a chance and do something for me for once.”

“How about I come with you?” Michael suggested, standing up. “It won’t take me long to get dressed and ready.”

“Oh Dad.” Kate reached up and gave him a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek. “I need to do this on my own.”

She placed her empty bowl in the sink, rinsed it and placed it on the rack to dry, ignoring the looks she knew her parents were giving her behind her back. She grabbed her car keys and bag and headed for the door.

As she sat behind the wheel of her car she took a deep breath.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
She entered the address of the hospital into her GPS, chose her favorite playlist and settled back into the comfortable leather seat, prepared for the long drive ahead of her. Remembering her promise to her dad to stop every two hours for a break, she pulled away from the curb and waved out the open window at her parents who were standing side by side on the front porch watching her leave. The first rays of sunlight were just appearing on the eastern horizon as she headed west.

Over an hour later, Kate was well and truly sick of following the taillights of the cars in front of her. The bumper to bumper movement of vehicles was frustratingly slow and on more than one occasion large trucks had cut in front of her, too close for her comfort. When she finally negotiated the peak hour traffic and had navigated her way through the outskirts of Sydney, she started to relax.

The sun steadily began to rise overhead and Kate found herself driving through hills dotted with expensive homes, hidden among gum trees high up on either side of the steep mountains. As she drove along winding roads that weaved between majestic gum trees, she was transfixed by the Australian countryside. The farther away she drove, the more Kate started to admit to herself that she was having second thoughts. Just as her dad had predicted, it felt as though she was driving toward the middle of nowhere.

The kilometers flew by, drawing her closer to the unknown. She’d driven past horses standing in paddocks, their rumps to the wind. Sometimes in groups of two or three, sometimes alone, their bright blue canvas rugs, covered in mud, were in stark contrast to the dark green of the paddocks.
Where is the red dust and barren brown land
?
Trees indicated the path of creek beds that snaked their way through properties, and rolling green hills were dotted with ancient gum trees and black cows, both of them shadows on the landscape. Every few kilometers, faded red-roofed houses peeked through plantings of pine trees, set back from the road. Dirt driveways wound their way to rusty tin sheds and these were surrounded by an array of unrecognizable farm equipment. It looked to Kate like forgotten junk. She passed windmills, massive round concrete water tanks and large bales of hay wrapped in green plastic, piled high, many of them seeming to be precariously close to toppling over. Everywhere she looked, everything seemed to be covered in a layer of mud. Even the sheep.

Along the way faded billboards peppered the landscape, advertising everything from Mrs. Wilson’s famous cherry pie to McDonald’s. Other signs advertised accommodation in outdated motels that, as Kate drove past, appeared to be stuck in the eighties. She passed little towns that hadn’t caught up with the rest of Australia, and old derelict cottages built on the edge of the road that looked like their owners had walked out one day, never to return. Everything felt forgotten and forsaken. Neglected and rundown. The farther west she drove, the more her optimism continued to wane, and she wondered if she had just made the dumbest decision of her life. She quickly reminded herself this was nothing more than a job interview and if she didn’t like what she saw, she’d get straight back in her car and come up with Plan B.

It had taken almost five hours, including two quick stops, when her GPS informed her she was almost at her final destination. As she came up a steep rise, Kate was greeted by seemingly never-ending rows of gnarled fruit trees on either side of the road. Farther ahead she spied a vineyard, the symmetrical planting of grapes cascading down the side of a hill like dominoes waiting to be pushed over.

Rounding another bend in the road at the top of a hill, Kate took in the stunning views before her. The road twisted its way deep into the valley. She continued driving, turning her head from side to side, trying to take everything in.

As the road flattened out she caught her breath. Hastily indicating, she pulled over to the left onto the shoulder of the road, her tires skidding slightly in the loose gravel. Ahead of her dozens of massive elm trees formed an “Avenue of Honor,” their branches making an almost perfect archway over the road. Small metal plaques were at the base of each tree, in remembrance of each person from that town who had fought or died during the Great War. Kate was overcome by the magnificence of the gesture.

The gray road twisted out of sight beneath the covering of autumn’s burnished red, orange and yellow foliage, all blended together in a spectacular array of color. A constant shower of leaves littered the road, almost covering the asphalt in places, forming a blanket of gold beneath the trees.

Putting the Mini back in gear, she was glad that no cars were following her unhurried entrance into town. She drove slowly, imagining how the drive would look in other seasons. She pictured the bare gnarled branches of the elms in winter and guessed at the various shades of green that would form a canopy in spring and summer. As she came through the end of the memorial trees, she drove up and over another hill and finally caught her first glimpse of Birrangulla. She was surprised to find it was much larger than she had expected. Lazy tendrils of smoke came from chimneys dotted throughout the valley. Encircled by hills that formed a backdrop to the town, houses extended in all directions as far as she could see.

As Kate drove farther she felt like she’d stepped back in time. The streets were wide and tree-lined with deep bluestone curbs. Most of the century-old buildings had shady bullnose verandas that would provide welcome shade in summer. It was like something from the gold rush days. Dotted on either side of the historic streetscape were specialty shops, an art gallery, an antique shop and alfresco cafés. These were all set back from the road on deep sidewalks. In sharp contrast was the signage on the concrete and glass shopping complex boasting Coles, Target and Big W. At the town center a red-brick clock tower took pride of place in the middle of a large park. There was a quiet ambience that spoke of the town’s culture and long history.

Following the instructions from the voice on her GPS, she negotiated quiet streets and made her way toward the hospital perched high on the hill. She pulled up in front of a large modern building that was clearly not completely finished. Some of the scaffolding remained in place and workers were still present, their orange and yellow high visibility clothing a jarring contrast to the orange and yellow of the leaves on the poplar trees at the front of the hospital. To the left of the new structure stood a stately old two-story red-brick building. Cream-painted windows and ornate ironwork decorated its front. This was obviously the original hospital and Kate was pleased it appeared to have been retained in all its former glory.

Kate found the car park and, checking her watch, realized she was early for the interview. Climbing out of her car, she was unexpectedly assaulted with the cool crisp air. Inhaling deeply, the smell of open fires extended to the back of her nostrils and she smiled at the pleasant fragrance of burning wood. Reaching into the backseat she grabbed her bag and confidently walked in the direction of the hospital main doors. Again, she was surprised by the modern exterior that led to an equally contemporary foyer. She made herself known to the receptionist who greeted her warmly and offered her a seat. Thankfully she didn’t have to wait long.

An hour and a half later, Kate stood up and shook Belinda Grills’ offered hand. Once again she was slightly taken aback by Belinda’s height – she towered over Kate. Belinda’s black hair framed an attractive round face devoid of makeup and her slightly plump figure was squeezed into an outdated business suit at least half a size too small. Kate thought the older woman would look more at ease in a pair of scrubs and runners. It was hard to determine her age but Kate guessed she was in her mid-fifties. Her smile was sincere, her words genuine and Kate had immediately warmed to her, believing she was a woman that could be trusted.

The interview had been very informal, with much of it focused around the growth of the hospital and the newly refurbished intensive care unit. Kate was slightly concerned about the high turnover of unit managers, but Belinda had assured her it was nothing to worry about. Belinda had gone to great lengths to promote the joys of country living, but Kate was already sold. She had made up her mind and wasn’t allowing herself time to dwell on any negatives. Everything about the position sounded like the next step in her nursing career and although it looked like it would be a big challenge, she was up for it. The fact the job was in a country town in the middle of nowhere just added to that challenge. If Belinda offered her the job, she was more than ready to say yes and take it on.

“It was a pleasure meeting you, Belinda.”

“Likewise, Kate. I can’t tell you how much we appreciate you driving here on such short notice.”

“It wasn’t a problem at all. I’m embarrassed to say I’ve never been out this far west before – I’ve never gone farther than Katoomba in the Blue Mountains. This is such a gorgeous part of the country.”

“I agree with you. The changes in seasons here are what I love the most. So, will you stay around for the afternoon then?” Belinda asked.

“To be honest, I was planning on driving straight back home, but I’ve changed my mind. While I’m here I think I might as well just have a little look around. There are probably some cute gift shops I can explore. I’m sure my mum will appreciate it if I bring something back for her!”

Belinda laughed. “Kate, this might be a regional town, but we’re not that far removed from the city. I’m sure you’ll find we have all the same shops here that you’re used to in Sydney. There are also some great places to grab a bite to eat. Why don’t you find somewhere for a late lunch and hang around for a while? Have a look around. I’m sure you’ll love it.”

Kate dipped her head slightly with embarrassment. “Okay. I think I will do that. Where do you suggest I go for lunch?”

“Try the Courthouse.” Seeing Kate’s confused expression she added, “It’s the old courthouse – they converted it into a café on the lower floor where the main courtroom was. The chambers upstairs have been turned into offices. We had a brand new courthouse built just last year, right next door to the brand new cinema.”

Kate got the sense Belinda was trying to sell the town to her and she smiled, hoping she could cover for her previous gaffe. “It sounds perfect.”

As Kate walked into town she looked around and saw many of the same shops in Sydney were replicated here, just in smaller storefronts. There was obviously no large shopping center competing on the outskirts of town with the business of the small shops in the main street, and the town itself was bustling with people wandering around carrying shopping bags.