Interior Designs (25 page)

And with Drew she had discovered that she no longer needed the protection of the barriers. She'd learned to love and to share. Learning the art of loving and sharing was every bit as important as learning to build a career, and in fact, it held the promise of becoming even more fulfilling.

She whirled toward the desk, and the sudden stirring of air ruffled the papers on which her speech was written. They flew onto the floor, where they lay like so many leaves scattered by the wind. And all at once, Cathryn was haunted by certain inescapable thoughts that she had been avoiding for much too long.

She had sacrificed to get to the top of her field because her career gave her pleasure and a sense of reward. But during the past few weeks, she'd struggled with thoughts of Drew, thereby finding it difficult to concentrate on anything she was doing. That was why her work was no longer pleasant for her and certainly not as fulfilling. In fact, her career, instead of being a source of strength and happiness, had become a tremendous burden.

This was an earthshaking realization. The new office building awaited her attention back in Palm Beach, and the idea of returning to it was suddenly loathsome. She dreaded sitting down at her desk, and despite her protests to Susannah, she would rather do anything than get back to work. Such protests, she knew now, were nothing more than the force of habit.

She sat and stared at the wall, utterly shattered. Because if her work was her whole life, and if her work was no longer meaningful, then her life had no meaning.

She stood up and paced the floor, driven into motion by the torment of her thoughts. Her first reaction was stubborn denial. No, it couldn't be! Hadn't she always said that her work gave definition to her personality and that she wouldn't be the person she was without it? Suddenly she had come face-to-face with the person she was, and she didn't like that person—that lonely, ever-remote person—very much.

Cathryn had never perceived herself with such clarity before. Was this the way Drew had seen her? If so, what had given him the strength, the caring and the steadfast and enduring persistence to, as he'd put it, melt the ice?

Only one thing, she realized out of the depths of her solemn soul searching, only one thing could have given him that persistence: love.

She spent a sleepless night. The next morning, after carefully applying makeup to conceal the violet shadows smudged beneath her eyes, she approached the television interview with trepidation but with a single-mindedness and determination that surprised her. She would go on the show, and she would get it over with. And then she would fly back to Palm Beach and make definite plans to diminish her involvement with Cathryn Mulqueen Interiors.

How would she accomplish it? Plans reeled through her head one after the other. Let Zohra and Natalie manage the business? Call the pesky lawyer for Designers International and tell him she was ready to sell Cathryn Mulqueen Interiors? Take the money and go on a long trip, a vacation during which she'd ponder the direction of her future? She'd always wanted to travel to Asia. Japan, maybe. Or Thailand. Maybe she'd even find time to begin painting again.

It was too late to do anything about what had happened with Drew. Sadly, he was out of her life. It wasn't too late, however, to arrange her life differently. To work on her own interior, to let in space and light, to design it so that there would be time for important things, now that she knew what the important things were. It was not having those things that made it clear to her at last that Judy and Ron and Susannah, and especially Drew, had been right all along.

She must get through the television interview that she had promised to do, and, of course, she must attend the ball tomorrow night. Those were her immediate obligations, and she'd always been one to honor obligations. But then she'd take time off to think about her own interior designs.

Chapter 14

He shouldn't have crashed this party, thought Drew, watching them. He might have known she'd have someone else. He didn't know who it was, but he was a handsome man, and he was gazing down at Cathryn with unabashed desire. Well, what man wouldn't? Cathryn was beautiful, intelligent, and more desirable than any woman he'd ever met. The guy would be crazy not to want her.

He'd spent the morning rounding up evening clothes that fit him. Drew knew after watching that segment on the cable network that he had to see her, if only from a distance.

The woman interviewer had introduced the piece in a way that had made him interrupt his shaving routine and rush out of the bathroom to turn up the volume. The introduction had mentioned the League of Interior Designers' conference.

And then, there was his Cathryn. She was as cool and composed as usual. She smiled graciously, answered questions, and played to the camera in all the right places, yet somehow she remained distant and one step removed. She talked about her work, about her life, and she seemed to be the epitome of success. She was so beautiful that it wrung his heart and left it empty. He loved her. He had tried to get over her when he'd realized that he couldn't have her, but he loved her still.

He didn't know if Cathryn would talk to him if he called on her cell phone, and if she was at a conference, she was probably very busy. It had taken more than one phone call to Judy before he found out how to reach Cathryn. Even then, all Judy would do was to put him in touch with Susannah.

When Susannah heard Drew's voice, she went suddenly silent. And then she told him exactly where Cathryn could be found that evening.

That was why he stood at the edge of the dance floor in the Grand Ballroom of the Waldorf-Astoria Hotel, watching the love of his life gazing raptly into the eyes of another man.

* * *

Cathryn had prepared for the ball without enthusiasm. Such events were superfluous, but she had promised Susannah, and Susannah had gone to the trouble of supplying an escort.

She had piled her hair on top of her head in a loose knot, allowing a silken strand to curl in a ringlet down one side. She wore a simple gown of rich jade green, its V neck plunging and skirt slit to the knee. In her ears she wore a pair of dazzling diamond-drop earrings. Even to herself she looked stunning and worthy of any date Susannah produced.

When Susannah and party arrived at her hotel suite, Cathryn was ready. After the knock sounded on the door of her room, Susannah called out, "It's just us, Cathryn," and Cathryn released the chain and opened the door. Susannah, radiant in rose-red silk, was flanked by two men, one of them Avery, and another who looked vaguely familiar.

"Cathryn," said Susannah breathlessly, turning to the stunning man on her right, "this is Will Atherton. You remember. My first husband."

Cathryn did remember. Except for Avery, he had been the best-looking of Susannah's spouses. Cathryn recalled being a bridesmaid at their wedding, and how, at the time, she had joined Judy and the other bridesmaids in gushing over the bridegroom's handsome looks. He was tall, smiling, affable and supremely sexy, with a rakish mustache and a diabolical gleam in his eye.

"Nice to see you again," she said politely, wondering how in the world Susannah had happened to contrive a date for Cathryn with her first husband.

Susannah read her friend's mind. "It's all right," she said hastily with a confirming look from Avery. "Will and I are still good friends."

"Oh," said Cathryn doubtfully, wondering how she was going to make it through the evening. The arrangement struck her as, well,
odd.

"Do you have a drink around here anywhere?" Will's eyes swept the room, presumably looking for a liquor bottle.

"Uh, no, but we could call room service."

"I've always got my flask," said Will, and with a grin he fished a silver bottle out of an inside coat pocket and upended it. Cathryn caught the unmistakable fragrance of gin.

Cathryn wanted to laugh at the distasteful expression on Avery's face. Clearly he had not known this side of his wife's ex-husband.

"Shall we go?" said Avery quickly, offering Susannah his arm.

Cathryn tried to keep a straight face. At this rate, Susannah's husband number one would be tipsy by ten o'clock. Which was just as well, because then she'd be able to duck out.

They proceeded by taxi to the Waldorf. When they stepped out of the elevator on the floor where the ballroom was located, they met teeming groups of men and women dressed to the hilt in long formal dresses and white-tie-and-tails for the occasion. The sweet strains of violins floated over the milling gathering, and the lobby of the ballroom was bright and well-lighted.

"What are you
doing?
" she hissed to Susannah when Avery was out of hearing range at the coat check. "How on earth did you happen to set me up with
him
?" Will lingered behind a potted plant, surreptitiously fumbling with his flask.

For once, Susannah looked distressed. "Will called to wish me a happy marriage, and I asked him to escort you to the ball. Avery had met him once before and liked him, and I thought it seemed like a good idea at the time. I had no idea Will was drinking so much." She shrugged helplessly and surveyed the crowd uneasily as if she were looking for someone.

"If I disappear halfway through this, please understand. I have no desire to spend the whole evening holding up a man who is so drunk he can't walk, much less dance."

"Cathryn, I'm sorry, really I am. If Will gets to be too much of a nuisance, we can send him home in a cab. For that matter, I suppose we could leave now if we think of some excuse." But for some reason, Susannah looked reluctant.

"No, no, I can manage," Cathryn replied hastily as Avery caught up with them and Will slipped out from behind the plant.

"Now," said Will, smiling his charismatic smile, "how about dancing with me, Cathryn? As I recall, we danced rather well together at my wedding reception."

Will took hold of her arm, guiding her firmly toward the highly polished dance floor. With one last nervous look back at Susannah and Avery, Cathryn allowed herself to be propelled.

As they reached the dance floor, the band quickly ended its piece and, with a great deal of fanfare, began a new one, a waltz. Will pulled her into his arms and focused dreamy eyes on Cathryn. She was the only one close enough to notice how bleary they were.

Will's mustache twitched as they rounded the floor for the third time. "I could use another drink right about now, how about you?"

"No thanks," she said, concentrating on her dancing. He was a good dancer, at least, if a trifle loose. He flung them in extravagant swoops around the ballroom.

"Do you have a boyfriend back home? Anybody special?"

"No." She hoped her tone of voice would convince him that this wasn't an avenue of conversation that she cared to pursue.

"Good. I've always liked you, Cathryn. You know that, don't you?" He pulled her a bit closer; she edged away.

"Mm," she said noncommittally, concentrating on following.

The waltz ended and everyone clapped. The band struck up another waltz.

"Hey, let's not sit down! Let's dance this one, too!" Will Atherton smiled at her and suppressed a belch. She didn't resist when he drew her into his arms again because there was no point in making a scene. They waltzed in great swirling circles around the dance floor until the throng of people on the sidelines blurred into a sea of faces.

A spotlight switched on, beaming down at them from one of the balconies. Somebody with a camera was busily filming the people who were dancing.

She drew a deep breath, ignoring the smell of gin. It looked as though it was going to be a long night. If only someone would turn off that awful blinding spotlight!

* * *

Once they dipped so close to him that Drew thought she must surely see him, but she was so wrapped up in Will Atherton that she stared right past.

How was he to get what he wanted—a chance to speak with her alone? There were so many people. In vain he tried to spot Susannah, who had assured him that she and her new husband would be there. They were nowhere in sight.

What should he do? He had to talk with Cathryn. It was the only reason he had come there tonight. He racked his brain, trying to think. He hadn't come this far only to give up. But it was so hard to think of anything when his Cathryn was in the arms of someone else.

In sheer desperation, it occurred to Drew that perhaps it would not be improper etiquette for him to cut in. Yes! It was the only logical course of action.