Intimate 02 - Intimate Surrender (19 page)

R
afe stepped aside to let Hannah walk through the door, then softly closed it behind her. His mind tried to sort through everything he’d just witnessed because he knew it was significant. He knew he’d just beheld a very private part of Hannah’s life.

“What are you doing out of bed?” she demanded when they were far enough away from Lilly’s room that their voices wouldn’t wake her. “Who allowed you to get up?”

Rafe couldn’t help but smile, although he was sure his swollen features didn’t make his smile too obvious. “No one
allowed
me to get up. Besides, I didn’t realize I had to ask permission.”

“Where was Humphrey?”

“Dalia sent one of the girls for him. Lord Marlin arrived in a state of inebriation, and in his present condition, Dalia wouldn’t allow him the…pleasure of any of your girls. When he was asked to leave, he wasn’t agreeable to the idea.”

“Damn Marlin. He knows we won’t allow him to stay when he arrives drunk.”

“Is that a house policy for all your customers?”

“Only the customers who tend to get rough when they’ve had too much to drink.”

Rafe stopped, then reached his arm out to the wall to steady himself. He’d been on his feet longer than he probably should have been.

“You’re going to pay for getting up,” she warned as she stepped close to him. “Put your arm around my shoulder before you fall and injure yourself more.”

Rafe placed his arm around her shoulder and let her help him back to his room.

He was exhausted when he reached his bed, and sank onto the mattress with a sigh of relief. She pulled back the covers and helped him back to bed, then turned to go.

“Don’t leave yet, Hannah.”

She stopped. “I don’t want to talk about what you saw,” she said without looking at him.

“Then we won’t.”

She hesitated, as if deciding whether or not to believe him. She turned. Her eyes were still red from the tears he’d seen her shed, but she held her head high as she made her way to the chair beside his bed, then sat.

“How is she?” he asked.

“She’ll survive. At least on the outside. The inside will take longer to heal.”

“When she’s up to it, do you care if I speak with her?”

She hesitated. “You can try. I don’t know how she’ll take talking to a man. Not after what happened to her.”

Rafe tried to smile. “I can be pretty easy to talk to when I try.”

Hannah smiled. “Yes, I know you can.”

“What’s her name?”

“Lilly.”

“She didn’t look very old. Do you know how Skinner got her?”

“He took her off the street. She’d run away from home. I don’t know why, but she’s terribly afraid of whoever is there and doesn’t want to go back.”

“How does Skinner find them?”

Hannah’s laugh surprised him. “Young girls from the country aren’t hard to spot. They stand out from city girls like they’re wearing signs around their necks to announce their arrival. Skinner has men searching the streets for them all the time.”

Rafe leaned back against his pillow and sighed. The clock on the mantel chimed the half hour past ten o’clock.

He reached into his pants pocket but remembered he hadn’t seen his watch since the night he’d been attacked. He tried not to panic and told himself that as soon as he was well enough to leave the bordello, he’d start a search of the local pawn shops. If someone from that area had found his watch, they would no doubt sell it.

Rafe looked back to where Hannah stood and saw her outstretched arm. His grandfather’s watch lay in her palm.

He slowly took it in his fingers and reverently held it. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. I know how special this is to you and didn’t want anything to happen to it.”

Rafe rubbed his fingers over the stones on the top and the inscription on the inside. He knew every raised bump and notched indentation by heart. The relief he felt knowing that he hadn’t lost his grandfather’s watch was indescribable.

The muffled sounds of laughter and voices sifted up from one floor to the next. According to what he’d been told, in the evenings the bordello was always overflowing with customers. Madam Genevieve’s was busy on the two floors below—on the ground floor in the receiving rooms where some of the patrons simply wanted to spend time with a beautiful young female, and on the floor above, where Madam Genevieve’s girls would take their clients for a few hours of enjoyment.

Tonight was very typical. This was no place for a young girl.

“What will you do with the girl? She can’t stay here.”

“No, she can’t.”

“Where will she go?”

Hannah locked her gaze with his. “I’ll take her home.”

Hannah gently closed the door to Lilly’s room and quietly walked down the hall. The young girl had woken up screaming, and by the time Hannah reached her she was nearly frantic. Hannah remembered the nightmares she’d had after she’d been raped and the terror that engulfed her with each one.

She walked back to Rafe’s room and slowly opened the door. The room was dimly lit. The only light came from the smoldering embers in the grate. She stepped inside and looked to the bed. It was empty.

She scanned the room.

“I’m here,” he said from a chair in the corner near a window.

“You’re out of bed again.”

“Yes. I needed to stretch my legs.”

Hannah pulled a chair close to him and sat. “Are you in pain? Can I get you anything?”

“I’m fine. How is Lilly?”

“She’s sleeping—for now.”

“Earlier you said you were going to take her home. What did you mean by that?”

“Just that. I have a home in the country. It’s called Coventry Cottage. I intend to take her there as soon as she’s up to it.”

“How soon will that be?”

Hannah shook her head. “A week. Perhaps two.”

“May I come along? I’d like to see your country home.”

Hannah thought of all the reasons she should refuse to let him accompany them, all the reasons she should keep Coventry a secret from him—from everyone. And yet she was anxious to show him her home. Anxious to show him that she was so much more than a prostitute.

She stood, then walked to the small cupboard against the wall and opened the door. She removed a crystal decanter and two glasses. She poured a little wine into each glass, then handed him one. For several relaxing moments, they sat in peaceful stillness and sipped their wine. Finally, Hannah broke the silence. “What are your plans when you are well enough to leave here?”

“Are you telling me I
have
to leave?”

“I think you know the answer to that. You know you can’t stay.”

“Are you trying to protect me again, Hannah? Do you expect me to run back to the country and hide?”

“No, I’m telling you something you already know—that you don’t belong here.”

He slowly sipped his wine. “Do you want me to go, Hannah?”

“You have to. You don’t have a choice.”

“Would you want me to go if you weren’t Madam Genevieve and I wouldn’t be in danger if I stayed?”

Hannah hesitated. Of course she wouldn’t want him to go. She’d want nothing more than for their lives to be different and for them to be able to have a future together. But that would never be. “What I want is for you to leave here before Skinner kills you and I will have to live with the guilt of knowing your death is my fault.”

“What if I told you it’s impossible for me to be happy without you?”

“You can’t let that happen, Rafe.”

“Can you be happy without me?”

How could she answer such a question? She didn’t know what happiness was until she met him. Now that she knew, there was no way she could be happy without him.

“Can you?” he asked again.

“I’ll have to be. I can’t let you stay. I can’t risk Skinner killing you and forcing me to live the rest of my life knowing that you aren’t somewhere near here doing what you were meant to do.”

Rafe leaned his head back against the chair. For several minutes they sat in silence and stared into the dying embers in the fireplace.

Finally, Rafe placed his glass on a nearby table and turned to her. “Let me go with you when you take Lilly to
the country. Let me see where you live. Then I’ll be ready to do what I have to do.”

“Will you be up to the journey?”

He laughed. “Of course, Hannah. You’re the only one who doubts my strength.”

Hannah was shocked. “I don’t doubt your strength. I know very well how strong you are on the inside as well as the outside. I simply understand better than you how ill equipped you are to handle the life I live. Your goodness doesn’t allow you to fathom how evil men like Skinner can be.”

“Perhaps you’re right. But I’m learning.”

“But that’s a lesson I don’t want to see repeated.”

“Neither do I,” Rafe said with a heavy breath.

Hannah heard the exhaustion in his sigh. “You need to get back to bed. Would you like me to help you?”

“If you’d like.”

Hannah helped Rafe to his feet, then placed his arm around her shoulders to steady him as they walked to the bed. She stepped in front of him to ease him down onto the mattress, but he placed his hands on her shoulders and held her. With a gentle caress, he placed his palm to her cheek. His fingers slowly moved downward to her jaw, then he tipped her chin upward.

For several intense moments, they stared into each other’s eyes. Hannah knew if there would be a light bright enough to see him clearly, she’d detect the depth of emotion they each harbored for the other. In the darkness, she could only sense it.

He slowly lowered his head.

He intended to kiss her. She knew it deep down in her body, just as she knew she should step out of his arms. Just as she knew she should stop him with a word, or the pressure of her hand against his chest. He’d stop, she knew he would—but she couldn’t do it.

She wanted him to kiss her. She wanted more than his kisses and his caresses. She wanted every part of him. She wanted him to love her the way a man loves a woman, with the physical contact that joins them as one. But that could never happen.

So, when his lips touched hers, she eagerly accepted what he offered. She met his contact with an urgency that defied her order not to kiss him. His kisses were like food to someone starving, and she welcomed him as if he possessed manna from above.

His tongue skimmed her lips as if searching for an unknown quarry, and she opened to him. She surrendered without hesitation. The initial touch caused fireworks to erupt inside her body, shooting lovely, spiraling tendrils of heat permeating every part of her. No one’s kisses had ever affected her like his did. No one’s kisses had the power his had.

Hannah wrapped her arms around his neck and met his demands with an eagerness that defied all reason. She returned his kisses with a desperation that challenged her resolve. She craved his touch with an ache that felt no relief. And she deepened her kisses to match the intensity of Rafe’s.

She didn’t realize how tired he was getting until she felt his body lean heavier against her. With a gentle pressure, she grasped him around his upper arms and lifted
her mouth from his. “You’ve been up long enough,” she whispered.

He smiled and leaned over to kiss her on the forehead. “I hate to put a halt to what we were doing, but perhaps I’ll agree with you this once.”

Hannah helped him into bed, then pulled the covers over him. When she was sure Rafe was settled for the night, she turned toward the door. His voice stopped her.

“I’ll be well enough to go with you when you take Lilly to the country,” he said from the other side of the room.

Hannah turned, nodded, then left the room. Every day that she was with him made it harder and harder to convince herself that she could live without him. Some days she knew for sure she couldn’t survive.

Today was one of those days.

H
annah kept a close eye on both Lilly and Rafe as they traveled through the English countryside. Lilly had improved over the last week, but without warning, bouts of terror would consume her. More and more she looked to Rafe for comfort. Thankfully, she felt comfortable with him.

He’d spent time with Lilly each day, just a few minutes at first, then longer as time went by. Hannah had no idea what they talked about, but the fact that Lilly was talking was a wonderful thing. That was something Hannah discovered working with the girls who’d been raped. They needed to talk. It made their adjustment much faster and easier.