Intimate Strangers (7 page)

His eyes whipped down to the top of Ruan’s head, covered in a thin, downy layer of dark hair – like his, like his father’s. Tiaan inhaled deeply and a smile spread over his face. “I knew he was my son the moment I laid eyes on him, you know that, hmm?”

“N-no, I didn’t.”

“Mmm. He looks just like me at this age. I wish I had a photograph I could show you.” He sounded overly morose at that.

She was about to squeeze his knee when she thought he might have some scarring there and stopped herself in time. “Why don’t you?”

In a matter-of-fact voice, Tiaan replied, “The shortest explanation I can give you is that my parents were constantly at each other’s throats. They died in a car accident and I was so pissed off with them for being so damned selfish as to leave me behind that I tossed everything and joined the military.” He quickly filled in the blanks about his suspicions as to the reason for their accident. “I’ve been mad at them for so long, blaming them for the way my life turned out. And now…

“Chelsea, that day when I said I never wanted a child, it was because of them. I don’t want to end up like that, hating the person who’s wonderful enough to love me and grant me a family, the way my father seemed to hate my mother. In turn, she despised him. And yet they remained together, for my sake, I can only assume.”

Barely a fraction of a second passed when she blurted out, “You’re going to take him from me, aren’t you?”

The look in his eyes was easily read; confusion and hurt, even a little disbelief. “Jesus, Chelsea… Why would you even think that?”

She clamped her eyelids tightly together. “I don’t know. I-I…”

“Hey.” A warm hand gripped her chin but she kept her eyes shut. “I would never dream of taking Ruan from you. He needs his mother, he needs
you
.”

Still not trusting her voice – or her eyes – with the task of keeping her thoughts and fears private, Chelsea remained as she was. Tiaan continued to touch her, seeming to grow surer of himself the longer she allowed him to keep his hand at her chin. Where at first his fingers were unsteady, now they glided along the edge of her jaw with sure and practised confidence.

“See here, Chelsea,” his soft, melodic voice murmured, “I don’t know what the future holds, so I can’t make many promises. But one I can make, and keep, is that I will never take Ruan from you. All I ask is that you try and give me some time with him. And, maybe…maybe with you, as well.”

At that, Chelsea snapped her gaze to meet his, searching for a grain of verity in his statement. That, despite everything currently happening for both of them, he wanted to spend time with her. Of course he most likely didn’t mean in the way she secretly hoped for, but as she thought earlier, Ruan needed his father. Her dreams didn’t enter the equation.

The past week alone, without help from Hannah or Kayla, was beginning to wear her down. She wanted to be strong, to be everything Ruan could need, but it seemed she wasn’t up to scratch. Tiaan wanted to know his son. What better way than in the safety of the Dunlop’s place? Plus, being back where she called home sounded perfect. She hadn’t gotten much sleep here, she’d been too frightened of waking someone up when Ruan cried at night.

“I…I know you erm, must be upset–” He swiped his thumb across her cheek then dropped his hand from her face. “I owe you another apology.”

“Um, what for?” She looked away from his intensely smouldering stare, knowing instantly what he meant.

“The other day, in the shower. I…you’re addictive to me, Chelsea,” he sighed dejectedly. “I went to your room early that morning but you weren’t there, and then I heard the shower running…I had to see you, and when I saw you, I had to touch you. It’s not an excuse and I know it’s not a very good reason, but it’s the truth. It’s all I’ve got to give. Afterwards, I was so ashamed of myself for attacking you like I did and I thought that if you saw me, what I look like now, well,” he paused, collecting his thoughts. Tiaan touched his lips to Ruan’s forehead. “Do you remember what you said to me that first time we made love?”

She felt her face prickling with heat. “I’m pretty sure I said a lot of things and most of them probably didn’t make much sense.”

His laughter perked her spirits up. “Yes, as did I.” Then his expression turned serious. “You called me…perfect. Do you remember?”

With her eyes shut, Chelsea pictured him in the elevator as he had looked to her that night. Instead of the confident man that kissed her as if he loved her, she saw the Christiaan who sat in front of her at this moment in time, and she smiled. Despite the scars, he was still the same person, just a little altered on the inside and out.

“I remember,” she whispered.

“And now, the tables have turned, hmm? Now you’re perfect and I’m…falling apart,” his laughter was sardonic now, piercing her heart.

“No,” came her muted reply. “I’m not perfect and you’re not falling apart.”

“Well then, what would you call me?”

She thought about that for a minute and a whole host of words came to mind. Handsome. Strong. Brave. Intense. Hurting. Chelsea didn’t dare say them out loud. She kept them to herself and continued picturing him in her mind with a smile on his face, rather than the scowl she had come to know since being reintroduced to Christiaan. Today he definitely seemed different though. He was a little more confident, or perhaps he just appeared that way as he opened up to her.

Ruan’s sleepy stretching made her open her eyes again. Tiaan was watching her intently and perhaps a little expectantly. His eyes wordlessly posed a question, asking, ‘
shall I give him back to you?
’ She didn’t react though, knowing what would come next. The same thing that happened to her each and every time she looked into her baby’s eyes.

Eight

He didn’t think it possible to feel such a way for someone he couldn’t even hold a conversation with, but as Ruan let his head drop to one side, resting against Tiaan’s shoulder and bicep while opening his eyes and looking directly at him, he could swear his love for the little one grew immeasurably. Dark lashes framed his dark eyes, nearly black, and he attempted to open and hold them that way, however Ruan must still be quite tired. His lids drooped shut again. Tiaan chuckled, the sound thick with emotion.

“My God, Chelsea, he’s incredible.”

She smoothed a hand over the silky coal black fuzz covering Ruan’s head. “Yeah, I think so too.”

It bubbled up inside him, this need to kiss her, to thank her for giving him this amazing gift, though he managed to tamp it down before the urge got out of hand. Tiaan instead gently trapped her hand between his and Ruan’s head, enjoying the catch in her breath and widening eyes. He wanted this, wanted the three of them to be together in every sense of the word, except he only just realised it, and he didn’t know how to go about telling Chelsea about his thoughts.

“Will you be okay holding him for a few minutes while I go and pack our stuff up then?”

She’s coming back with me!

Ecstatic though doing his best to hide it, Tiaan nodded, giving her hand a gentle squeeze before releasing it. “We’ll be right here. Let me know if you need any help.”

Her smile warmed him in places he thought would forever feel cold. “Okay.”

As she sashayed out of the room, he suppressed a groan, recalling just how that body felt beneath him, above him, next to him. Tiaan knew he’d gotten a bad case of something he’d never felt before and the only reasonable next step to take, in his mind, was undeniably the most outrageous idea he had ever come up with. It would mean, however, that they’d remain together and hopefully prove to Chelsea that he wanted to be with her
and
Ruan.

Thoughts of buying a house somewhere and filling it with the perfect pieces of functional furnishings, building a backyard fort for Ruan, and lazy weekend afternoons lounging around the yard with his family flitted through his head. It was incredible how swiftly his mind changed from almost too fucked up to function in society to planning a home-life he technically wasn’t deserving of.

What would Mac think of his idea?

The man would probably clip Tiaan in the back of the head to make sure he was still all there. Then again, Mac proposed to Hannah after a few days shy of two weeks spent together, because he loved her and couldn’t imagine his life without her. Tiaan may not know yet if he loved Chelsea but he was all too aware that he couldn’t go another day without seeing her smile each morning and holding his son like he was right now.

Marriages had been built on much less and survived much more so one could conclude it might be possible if they both worked for it. They already knew they were compatible physically – he was holding the living, breathing proof of that in his arms right now – and if they could move past the hurt and anger, he believed they’d most likely be rather good together.

Truthfully, Chelsea had nothing holding her in any one place, other than her friendship with Hannah and Mackenzie. If she wanted to, she’d be free to live wherever she wanted to. Once Tiaan extricated himself from his current employment – which he had zero interest in returning to and more information up his sleeve to help him extricate himself from his contract – neither did he. So technically they could go wherever they wanted. He had enough money stashed away that they could enjoy each other’s company for decades.

First things first. Along with Chelsea and Ruan, he would be taking a trip out east to introduce her parents to their grandson. They had one shot here to apologise and make nice with their daughter and if they didn’t, he’d never bother to push for it again. With that out of the way, they could easily get on with their lives and maybe he and Chelsea might work out.

~~~

“There is no way in hell that I am allowing you to get in that…that
thing
again.”

Horrified by Tiaan’s comment, Chelsea thrust her hands on her hips while glaring at him. “What the heck is wrong with my car?”

His dark eyes swept over her little rusting vehicle. “It looks like a death trap, Chelsea! Leave it there, we’ll have it towed. I’ll get you a new one.”

“What– where do you get off telling me I can’t have my car anymore? And why should I let you buy me a new one when a week ago, you were pretty much telling me how much you hate me!”

Brow creasing, he shifted his weight and gently moved Ruan to his other shoulder. “Er, I didn’t mean to make it sound like that. Can I take that stupid thing back and we’ll brush it under the metaphoric rug?”

Studying him for a moment, she then sighed, a non-verbal acquiescence to his query.

“I just…” Squirming where he stood, he cursed beneath his breath and then touched his lips to the top of Ruan’s head. “I suppose I’m feeling horribly overprotective now. Is that normal?”

Slightly annoyed and yet the feeling curbed by his concern for Ruan, Chelsea’s mind warred with itself for a few seconds on how to respond to him. Finally, she submitted to his request by removing the car seat from her little car and installing it into Mac and Hannah’s SUV.

“Yes, it’s perfectly normal,” Chelsea finally replied as she backed out of the rear seat of the vehicle. “I think all new parents must feel an instant and almost insane feeling of needing to be extra cautious when it comes to their children.”

A slight smile broke. “Good. Phew.”

Darn, he was too adorable, eyes moving to check on Ruan every few seconds. On some instinctive level, her body – the traitor – responded to the image of her baby in the arms of his father. She never could have imagined the moment when he actually arrived and held Ruan, and now that it had occurred and he wanted to spend time with them (really, he was there for Ruan, she had to keep reminding herself), she was falling for him all over again. Just like she had that night.

“You alright?”

Startled, Chelsea nodded a little too swiftly.
All in your head
, she told herself. “I’m fine. But um, it’s not fair of me to leave my car here in Mrs. Fournier’s driveway. I’ll follow you back to the Dunlop’s and park it in the garage. Besides, I’ve got personal items in here.” She didn’t mention that she couldn’t possibly get rid of the vehicle she brought Ruan home from the hospital in.

During that short drive, Chelsea had peered in the rear view mirror about a thousand times – or so it felt – until pulling up to Hannah and Mac’s house. Everything about him had been so tiny, smaller than he was now and Ruan was considered on the small side for his two months.

“Fine, but keep close.” He spoke while attempting to put Ruan into the car seat, his frustration evident in the tightness of his shoulders and the growled mumbling beneath his breath in what she now knew to be Afrikaans. “Damn, I can’t figure these buckles out.”

Chelsea bit her lip in an effort to keep her laughter from erupting and slipped past Tiaan to demonstrate how to secure Ruan in his car seat. “There.” She patted her sleeping son on the cheek and stepped back, meeting with a wall of muscle and warmth behind her.

“Thank you,” his breath danced through her hair to meet her ear. She felt his hands on her waist, sliding down to the edge of her jeans. “Thank you for your patience with me.”

This complete one-eighty degree change in his personality was confusing, but mostly, it made her want to cuddle up beside Tiaan and listen to the sound of his beating heart. When he was sweet and kind like this, Chelsea had to refrain from imagining their future together. She had to remind herself that Christiaan Carstens was only here for a short time, and
only
for Ruan.

“Um, you’re welcome.” She quickly slipped away from him and ran to her car where she barricaded herself inside.

In her rear view mirror, Chelsea watched Tiaan’s thoroughly perplexed expression turn to one of raised brows, saw his shoulders rise and fall sharply in a shrug, and followed after him as he got into the driver’s seat. He peered over his shoulder about four times before staring the vehicle, waved to her, and then he backed out of the driveway and onto the street. Chelsea drove behind him, trying not to stare at his deep and intense gaze in his rear view mirror for the duration of the trip back to the Dunlop’s house.

“Why don’t we go out for a little while?” Tiaan suggested as he waited for her to unclip the car seat and take Ruan from the SUV. “Maybe take a walk?”

“That sounds like a great idea, doesn’t it Chelsea?”

At her name, Chelsea whipped her gaze to the front door just in time to witness Hannah running down the path, hair floating wildly behind her. “Um, b-but Ruan–”

“We’ll look after him for you, right Kayla?”

Bottom lip pulled between her teeth, Chelsea watched as Mac’s daughter came outside with Erik on her hip. She was outnumbered here. They shouldn’t be so supportive! Why couldn’t these people just be angry with her for running, or for coming back? Why didn’t they tell Tiaan off for how he treated her during his stay with them so far?

“Sure!” Kayla answered, bending to pick up the toy Erik dropped on the grass. “It’s almost time for him to go down anyways and once Ruan has some milk, he’ll be fast asleep again.”

As if on cue, her baby whimpered, stretched, and let out a high-pitched cry. Tiaan’s eyes widened and a light sheen of sweat developed on his brow. Then she had to fight the laughter bubbling up in her tummy at the sight of a man who didn’t know what to do with a crying baby. Thankfully, Kayla and Hannah both erupted in a fit of giggles and hauled the man holding the shrieking baby inside.

While they showed Tiaan how to change a diaper, Chelsea slipped into the kitchen, found a clean and dry cup, and began expressing some milk for Ruan. She made sure there was enough just in case she and Tiaan were gone for longer than expected, then put the milk in the fridge and went outside to grab her things.

She skidded to a halt upon seeing the mountain of a man dressed in a dark long-sleeved shirt and black jeans rummaging through his vehicle – which currently contained most of what she owned. Mackenzie ducked out from the SUV with almost all of her luggage tucked beneath his massive arms and held in his giant hands. The man was mammoth in stature. Hannah often said she felt safe in his arms but Chelsea had always been a little frightened of him. Until he offered her a hug shortly after Ruan was born. One corner of her mouth tugged back at the memory.

Hannah had been correct. Chelsea had felt incredibly safe, and cared for too. It still amazed her that these strangers – at the time they
had
been strangers – invited her into their house, their lives, and their hearts, so easily. As soon as she entered the Dunlop family, Chelsea felt like she had come home.

“I’ve got these,” Mac spoke in his customary gruff tone, breaking her from her reverie. “You grab those two other bags.”

Chelsea nodded and collected the last of her things. She followed Mac inside and up the stairs to her room, passing Hannah and Kayla showing Tiaan how to feed Ruan the breast milk from a little cup instead of a bottle. She grinned as Kayla paused and then told Tiaan the reason for feeding the two month old this way was so that he didn’t acquire bottle and breast confusion. She noticed how he tensed each time the word breast was mentioned.

Upstairs, she deposited the diaper bag next to the changing table the Dunlops gave her as a baby shower gift and straightened, watching Mac place her suitcases on the bed. His large shoulders drooped and he hung his head. For a man who always seemed so put-together, his actions worried her. She took a step closer, beginning to open her mouth to ask him what was wrong, when Mac spoke.

“Chelsea, I’m glad you’re back.” He had his back to her but now he turned slowly. “Things have been…well, awful. Christiaan hasn’t been in a good place since you left. Now that you’re back, maybe he can start healing.”

His words alarmed her and she let him know it. “I don’t know how I could possibly help, Mac. He doesn’t want anything from me, other than to let him see Ruan, which you know I’ll gladly do. I would never keep him away from his son. Ever.”

“I’m aware of that. But you’re wrong about him not wanting anything from you. I see the way he’s watched you, how his vision focuses intensely. I’ve known Carstens for many years now, Chelsea, and he’s never looked at a woman the way he looks at you.”

This revelation caused her breath to hitch. The only thing she had noticed about the way Tiaan acted towards her was his sourness and as for his watching her, Chelsea had only seen malice and anger in his dark eyes since his arrival here.

“Just you wait,” Mac chuckled, using one large palm to ruffle her hair. “You’ll see what I mean. It’s there, trust me.”

She had her doubts, but if becoming a mother taught her anything, it was patience. Chelsea would wait and she would prove to Mackenzie Dunlop – and anyone else who thought they knew what the score was – that Christiaan Carstens wanted nothing from her other than to see his son.