Intimate Whispers (17 page)

“Sabrina—”

“You know, I’m not sure he’s the problem here, so I’ll tell you what, why don’t we take a little break, huh? I’m gonna go home and you come see me after you’ve had some time to think.”

“Sabrina, don’t do this.”

Help me
…
Find James
…

Tears prickled the backs of her eyes, but she held them back. Part of this argument was valid, true. But the greater reason for putting Jason on the defensive was about separating from him. She had to get away, to put some brakes on their rapid romance while betraying him.

Shoving past him, she flew out the front door with a split second’s regret she wouldn’t say goodbye to Rue. By the time she made it onto the stone pathway, a combination of used toast, cheese and tomatoes came bubbling up to the surface and it was all Sabrina could do to bend over one of the gnarled bushes and vomit behind it.

Footsteps thudded up the pathway, heading in her direction.

“Are you okay? Baby?” Jason placed a comforting hand on her shoulder while she brought up the rest of her breakfast.

Dots of perspiration broke out along her forehead, and she wanted to turn around and curl up in his embrace. She wanted to lean against him and revel in his support.

Stomach still heaving, she wiped her mouth with the back of her arm and pushed away from him. “Leave me alone, Jason.”

“Why are you doing this?” From waterlogged eyes, she saw the concern on his face.

Heard the regret in his voice.

This was best, though. For both of them.

Help me
…
Find James
…

“Oh God,” she moaned. This curse, damn it to hell, this curse ruled her life.

Everything good that tried to hold on was ripped away because she couldn’t rid herself of the voices.

89

Dee Carney

Without looking back at him, she ran for the street. Needed to find a way home now before the sounds broke her. A yellow cab barreled down the road toward her, but she couldn’t tell if the driver saw her frantically waving arms. Glancing in Jason’s direction, she took a deep breath and stepped into the path of the oncoming vehicle.

“Sabrina!” Jason’s cry almost drowned out the sounds of squealing brakes and tires.

The acrid smell of burnt rubber filled the air and she closed her eyes, braced for impact.

The roar of the engine was deafening as the machine worked hard to combat the forces of nature and push back against the momentum hurtling the vehicle forward.

By the time the car stopped, waves of heat rolled from the hood and reinforced the sweat trickling down her face. Her chest heaved as she caught her breath, half certain she shouldn’t have been alive and half thankful she was. The driver’s eyes were as big and round as dinner plates when she ran up to the passenger door, threw it open and flung herself inside.

“Drive, drive!” she screamed at him, knowing she looked as insane as she felt, but she had to get away from Jason. Had to get home to Him before it was too late. “Drive!” He did.

* * * * *

What the fuck just happened?

“Jason! Jason, are you all right? Where’s Sabrina going?” Still stunned, he searched for an answer to give Rue. “We had an argument,” he muttered.

Baby babble drifted to him and Jason turned to find Gibson and Felice watching them from the porch. In her arms, Felice carried a toddler. His racing heart slowed down, a reluctant smile creasing his face. “He looks exactly like Teddy did at that age.

Right, mom?”

His mother kept looking at the street, searching in vain for his fleeing girlfriend.

Rue looked as if she wanted to question him further about Sabrina, but after a few minutes, she looked back with him and smiled. “The spitting image. You can tell he’s gonna be tall like him, too.”

Jason walked to Felice and ran his hand over Theo’s small, round head. The little boy ducked and hid himself from Jason’s further scrutiny. He wore a pair of denim overalls over a striped t-shirt. His large, bare feet supported his mother’s observation about his future height. Cute.

While Jason didn’t know Teddy at this age, he’d spent the past few years studying photographs of him enough to recognize his son. Even if anyone insisted on a DNA test, he sincerely doubted it would tell them anything he didn’t already know in his gut.

Theo was Teddy’s child.

“This isn’t over, right?” he asked, looking up at Felice. “We’re all going to stay in touch and be a family?”

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Intimate Whispers

She replied, “I’d like that” at the same time Gibson grunted.

Anger simmering, Jason pointed a finger at him. “Don’t. Don’t you dare push another family member away from us. If you don’t want to be a part of Theo’s life, get the fuck out.”

Theo, still face-tucked against his mother’s neck, started to cry.

“I don’t know where you and I went wrong, old man, but you are not going to come in between me and another person again. Not the way you tried to drive a wedge between me and Teddy.”

“Who do you think you’re talking to? Any problems you have with other people has nothing to do with me.”

They’d rehashed this argument too many times to recount. Concerned with Sabrina and her sudden departure, Jason would not let this become yet another one. “You see that woman who just left? Sabrina?”

Gibson didn’t acknowledge the question, but his eyes darted in the direction of the fleeing cab.

“Let me tell you something. I’m going to marry that woman some day. So whatever you have to do to get yourself ready to accept that, do it. If you ever want to be a part of our future, of the future of any children we might have, you’d better start changing your ways. Starting with how you relate to me.” He hadn’t known what he was going to say until the words left his mouth.

Marriage? When had he crossed the line with her? Now that the words were out in the open, he realized he looked forward to more than just sex. He wanted a lifetime of being together.

The more he thought about it though, the more he accepted the declaration. His feelings still wavered from time to time. They still had some hidden issue between them that needed to be explored, but he wanted that chance to explore the future with her.

Only her. Whatever happened during that time, he wanted to face together. He loved her.

He kissed Theo’s head once again and ran a hand over Felice’s arm before turning and walking down the steps. Before passing through the wrought iron fence, he bent and kissed his mother’s cheek. “I love you, Mom.” Gibson he ignored as he left.

Waving down a cab was less adventuresome when he did it. Still, he shuddered to think about how close Sabrina had come to getting hit by the approaching car.

Something sent her running scared. Running blind. It wasn’t the first time he’d seen her in this state, and with a weight of dread in his stomach, he realized the last time had been about a week ago. And about a week before that. Both times coinciding with an onslaught of voices that put Sabrina in danger.

Was that the cycle then? The voices came to her about once a week, not for a long time, but long enough to make her irrational. Especially about getting home.

91

Dee Carney

He frowned.

What was so special about her place that she sought refuge there every time this happened? The last time she’d needed a safe haven, she’d come out of it battered and bruised, a fact that still made his stomach knot.

He needed to get home. He needed to find Sabrina. And they needed to talk.

The cab ride to their apartment building took entirely too long for him. Every time they stopped for a red light, or for a pedestrian who lingered a little too long in the crosswalk, he ground his teeth together. All he could imagine was Sabrina locked in her apartment with the mysterious man from her past threatening her life or worse.

His fingers drummed along the thigh of his trousers. Why hadn’t he pushed harder to know about the voices? So intent on finding Teddy, it never occurred to him that hearing them might put her in danger. Goddamn it. Clues had been laid out before him and blind, he ignored every single one.

This time when he took the stairs two at a time up to the fourth floor, his heart hammered, not from exertion, but fear.

When he turned the knob to Sabrina’s door, it never occurred to him that she might have gotten into the infrequent habit of locking it. As many times as he’d admonished her for the oversight, she shrugged him off, stating it only mattered to her at night. She had nothing to steal. If he tried to point out her safety meant more to him than her possessions, she deftly ignored him.

It turned smoothly in his hand, and he let out the breath he hadn’t realized he held.

“Sabrina?” She wasn’t in the kitchen or living room, so made his way down the hall to her bedroom. She’d had a good five-minute head start and the front door was unlocked. Where the hell was she?

“Hey, baby? You here?”

He stopped cold at the threshold to her room.

Jesus.

The last thing he expected to find when her bedroom door swung open was Sabrina naked and beautiful, spread in one of the most seductive poses he’d ever witnessed in his life.

From his position, he first witnessed the underside of her rounded breasts, the chocolate-colored tips of her nipples aroused and all but calling to him. Not only that.

Sabrina’s hand cupped the triangle of hair between her thighs, her finger stroking up and down her cleft with an exaggerated slowness that sent blood flooding to his dick.

She rolled her hips toward him, inviting him to sample her sweet cream when she spread her thighs even wider.

Jason waffled between immediate lust and confusion. “Sab—” She shot upright, removing her hand and closing her thighs, cutting off the tantalizing view. “Oh my God. Jason, you have to go.” 92

Intimate Whispers

His dick stood at half-mast, his heart pounding from finding his girlfriend in such a provocative position. “Go? Wha…did I… I thought…” Thoughts rolled over on one another, but he was still too caught up in the vision of beauty he’d espied. How the hell did he form a coherent sentence after that?

“Jason, please…please…” She looked wide-eyed around the room, on anything and everything but him.

“We have to talk about what happened today.” And maybe talk a little bit about what she’d been doing in the last couple of minutes.

“Later, please, Jason. You have to go.”

“Go? I don’t mean to be arrogant here, but you’re naked and lying there and I’d be a fool to ignore you.”

Her voice wavered. “Please.”

“I don’t understand. Are you saying we’re—us—we’re over?”

“No, not that, but…you have to go. You caught me masturbating and I’d really prefer a few minutes to die of embarrassment here.” She laughed, but it didn’t sound happy. “Just for a little while, go. Trust me, okay?” A wave of relief swept through him with those words. Obviously, she wanted privacy to finish what she’d started, but she only had to breathe at him the right way and he’d rush forward and complete the job. No questions asked.

Instead, he backed up slowly. “I’ll leave, but I want you to promise that you’ll call me or come on over later, okay?”

She gave him a hesitant smile. “Sure.”

Jason turned on his heel, his staccato heartbeat at last under control. The day’s events caught up with him and his mood elevated. He hadn’t spoken with Teddy, but had been pointed in the direction of Teddy’s family. Things were still shaky with Gibson, but smoothing out their relationship wouldn’t happen overnight. They’d taken a small step and that was huge. Despite the disagreement with Sabrina, at least they’d crossed that hurdle and survived it intact. They would talk later and they would be fine.

And most importantly, he’d come to the realization he wanted to marry her one day. Not necessarily any time soon, but if their romance stayed its course, the possibility floored him. In a good way.

He turned around again. One last endearment to let her know before they parted.

“Sabrina—”

Her face lost the erotic happiness he saw in it only seconds ago and morphed into this mask of stark fear. She kneeled on the bed, trembling, the bed sheets clenched between curled fists.

“No…no…no…” She’d gone pale, her expression a mask of fear. One that spiked through him and kept him in the cold clutches of terror as he watched her deal with the voices on her own. “Oh God, no,” she moaned. “He’s leaving. I swear, he’s leaving.

Please.”

93

Dee Carney

He knew at once this had to do with him. Whatever the voices said, whatever they were about to do, hinged on the fact he stood in her room after she’d already asked him to leave. Still, it was his worry for her that remained foremost in his mind. He could handle whatever they threw his way, but he would not stand by and do nothing while she suffered. “What is it, baby?”

“He’s gonna leave right now. See?” She waved her hands frantically at Jason, shooing him toward the doorway.

Standing his ground took a reserve of strength. It was either very brave…

Or very foolish.

“Talk to me. Tell me what’s going on.”

She shook her head at him, another signal to either go, or at least remain quiet. He tensed, dying to know what was going through her mind. Needing to know what they told her. He still wondered about the antipsychotic prescription she’d made him shred.

Had he made a mistake in believing medication wouldn’t help her?

Tears tracked down Sabrina’s face, making his heart clench.

“Please, no,” she moaned. “You don’t need him here. He’s leaving.” Torn, Jason still waffled. Leave or stay? Neither option held any appeal. Finally, he decided that he had to trust her and honor her wishes. Still, each backward step felt like the one that would be his last on the face of the earth. One wrong step, maybe the next one, or the one after that, would take him tumbling over a ledge. A fall from which he could never recover.

Sabrina cried out, a sound of pain that made the hair rise on his neck. “Jason, wait!” Fuck. What was going on?

He was dying to question her, but obviously something important he was not privy to was happening in the room.