Into a Dangerous Mind (42 page)

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Authors: Tina Gerow

BOOK: Into a Dangerous Mind
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Mischief danced in Cassidy’s gaze.
 
“Leave it to you to make a dramatic entrance and then take a nap.
 
How are you feeling?”
Zach took stock of himself before answering.
 
“Hungry.”
“That’s a good sign.
 
I’ll call the nurse and get her to bring you a tray.”
 
Cassidy reached for the call button, and Zach grabbed her hand.
“Cassidy, I need to talk to you first.”
 
A lead ball of panic settled in his stomach.
 
He loved this woman—loved her as he’d never loved another soul.
But I don’t think I could survive it if I lost her, too…
“What is it?”
 
Concern etched inside her hazel eyes.
Zach took his hand back from her and ran his fingers through his hair.
 
“I really appreciate you coming in after me.
 
It was a brave thing you did.”
 
Courageous, strong, noble—all the things he felt he’d never be again.
“You would’ve done the same for me, Zach.
 
I couldn’t lose you.
 
I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.”
Her concern and love flowed around him making it hard to breathe.
 
If he wasn’t still weak, he knew he would’ve bolted from the room.
 
He had to keep her safe, even if that meant pushing her away.
 
“That’s exactly what I mean.”
 
He firmed his shields to keep the distance between them.
 
If he experienced her emotions right now, he’d lose all his nerve, and he knew he’d never get it back.
 
“I have an extremely dangerous job, Cassidy.
 
And I won’t put you through losing me.”
Unshed tears sparkled in Cassidy’s eyes and guilt stabbed at him.
“What are you trying to tell me, Zach?”
Her chin tilted at the stubborn angle he knew and loved.
 
Her shields slammed into place, and the instant emotional distance between them left him bereft.
This is what you want, remember.
 
Do it quick.
 
“I think we should go our separate ways.
 
I can’t put you through this.”
Temper sparked inside the depths of her eyes, and even through two closed shields her anger sizzled and sparked.
 
“You can save the martyr speech and be honest with me.
 
You aren’t afraid of putting
me
through losing
you
.
 
You’re afraid if you someday lost me,
you
wouldn’t be able to handle it.”
“Cassidy….”
She crossed her arms over her chest.
 
“No.
 
Hear me out.
 
You’re being a selfish bastard, and I won’t let you do this without a fight.”
 
Cassidy paced away to the door and back again as if getting herself under control.
 
“You and I have something most people will never find.
 
We truly are soul mates.
 
You can’t tell me you don’t feel the same way, because I’ve been inside your head!”
Zach rubbed his hands over his face and a week’s worth of beard grated against his fingers.
 
“You’re absolutely right.
 
And that’s exactly why I can’t risk losing you.”
 
He said the words, even as desperation to pull her close swept through him.
 
But then his traitorous heart reminded him of the pain he swore he’d never experience again.
Cassidy pierced him with a steely gaze.
 
“We already have a bond.
 
No matter where we go, that will never change.
 
There’s more than one way to lose someone.
 
As for me, I’d rather take my chances and squeeze every drop of happiness out of life I can.”
Zach’s heart felt like it would burst inside his chest, and he had to struggle to draw in each breath.
 
He remembered the pain of losing Dix and Diane and tried once more to imagine adding the pain of losing Cassidy.
 
His mind balked.
 
He couldn’t fathom it.
 
Tears pricked the back of his eyes and he met Cassidy’s furious gaze.
 
“I’m sorry, Cassidy.
 
I can’t do this.”
 
Thick prison doors closed around his heart, shutting her out.
“I don’t believe you.”
 
Cassidy gripped the side rail on the hospital bed until her knuckles were white.
Zach dropped his shields and opened his mind to her.
 
“Look inside my mind and see for yourself.
 
I can’t go through that, Cassidy.
 
If I let you go now and consciously cut our contact, I’ll always know you’re out there somewhere, alive and healthy and happy.
 
But if I keep you with me, I’ll forever be dragging you into dangerous situations.
 
And now with your powers, into dangerous minds.”
 
He thought again about just how dangerous the mind of the Reaper had been to them all.
Cassidy’s mind merged with his.
 
He opened himself and let her see his conviction and along with it, his cowardice.
 
He allowed her to see everything, his shortcomings, his fear, his love for her—and the fact he wasn’t brave enough to reach out and take the path she offered.
 
But he did try to revel in those last few minutes of contact, and loss swallowed him when she broke their connection.
Hurt and resignation shown in her eyes.
“Cassidy, I’m so sorry I can’t be brave enough to be there for you.
 
If you truly love me…let me go.”
Tense silence hung in the air between them for several moments.
 
Then Cassidy nodded once, turned and walked away.

Chapter Nineteen

One Year Later

 

Cassidy sighed and leaned back against the wide comfortable plane seat.
 
“Jerry, I don’t know how you finagled us first class, this flight was sold out.”
“Anything for my favorite cellist, honey.
 
I just flirted with the woman at the ticketing desk.
 
Straight women are so terribly easy to impress.”
“That’s because straight men never treat us like you do,” Cassidy countered.
She accepted a glass of champagne from the stewardess and studied Jerry.
 
He was a tall, muscular man with blonde perfectly-cut hair and cornflower blue eyes which always twinkled with amusement.
When she’d decided to quit the symphony and tour with her own music, he’d been the hottest agent around.
 
Now, a year later, he was even hotter, thanks to her extremely successful tour, which showed no signs of slowing.
“When you look at me like that, sweetums, it makes me wish I was straight.”
 
Jerry batted his eyelashes playfully at her.
Cassidy laughed.
 
“But you’re happily involved with Bob.
 
How can I compete with that?”
“Too true, too true.
 
And he’ll get to take care of
you
backstage this time.
 
He does terrific hair and wardrobe.”
 
Jerry plucked at an escaping strand of Cassidy’s hair.
 
“I hope you don’t mind, but I thought we could let him help you out before the show—he’s meeting us at the theatre.”
“That would be great.
 
I’ve been looking forward to meeting him.
 
I feel like I know him almost as well as you do from as much as you talk about him.”
 
Cassidy rolled her eyes in mock exasperation.
 
In reality she envied the close relationship Bob and Jerry had.
 
It reminded her of something she knew she could’ve had with Zach.
Taking a deep breath, she pushed thoughts of Zach from her mind.
 
“Besides, I’m not much good with hair and wardrobe anyway, I’ll take all the help I can get.”
“If jeans and a pony-tail were wardrobe, honey, you’d be all the rage.”
 
Jerry gestured to her current attire of comfortable jeans, a T-shirt, and the ever-present pony-tail.
Cassidy smiled.
 
“What can I say?
 
I like to travel in comfort.
 
Besides, I threw this blazer on over my T-shirt, didn’t I?”
“After me pestering you for six months!”
 
Jerry snorted and clinked his glass against hers.
 
“To another sold out performance—and in Washington D.C. no less.
 
And
, have I mentioned the President and First Lady have reserved tickets for opening night.”
“I think you’ve mentioned it.”
 
Cassidy drank and then sighed.
 
Jerry had repeated the news about the President and First Lady at least a dozen times since he’d found out.
Washington D.C. meant she’d be in the same city with Zach for the first time in a year.
 
She’d heard through Anderson and Kathy that he was doing well.
 
He’d taken over Dix’s job and had become something of a workaholic.
 
But neither had mentioned Zach being very happy.
Kathy insisted he buried himself in work to hide from his feelings for her, but Cassidy knew Zach’s determination and knew he could be overly dedicated even without her influence.
 
Her heart ached with sensory memories of their brief time together.
For the millionth time, her mind longed to reach out and touch his, but she held the urge back firmly.
 
If there was one thing she’d learned over the past year, it was control over her powers.
 
She’d seen the conviction in Zach’s mind first-hand and she’d spent a painful year respecting his wishes.
 
But that didn’t mean she agreed with him.
Jerry glanced over, concern etched in his soft blue eyes.
 
“Oh, honey, I’m sorry.
 
I forgot this is
his
city.
 
Are you going to be okay?”
Cassidy nodded.
 
“I’ll be fine.”
 
She hoped.
 
“I think I just need a nap before we land.”
Jerry nodded and tucked his jacket around her.
 
“You just relax and let Jerry take care of everything.”
Cassidy swallowed the last of her champagne and handed Jerry the glass.
 
“Thanks, you’re the best.”
 
She leaned over and kissed him lightly on the cheek, then settled back and closed her eyes.
She sighed audibly as she let herself relax degree by degree.
 
Then suddenly, she sensed him.
 
Zach’s proximity slammed into her like a fist.
 
Her eyes flew open and she would’ve jumped up from her seat except for the firmly fastened seat-belt around her waist.

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