Into the Storm (24 page)

I heard the car pull up and both Cecilia and Trevor entered the barn. Cecilia took one look at me and threw her arms around my neck in a tight hug. I patted her back awkwardly and pulled away.

I looked at Trevor. “It’s all set?”

He nodded. “I have the records in my briefcase. The care home has the originals on file. I have the statement of the person who found her and brought her into the care home. No one will question the word of Ellen or Daniel Tate. Everything is covered, Joshua.”

I nodded, unable to speak. Bear was sitting at my feet, whining in his throat, unsure as to why he was tied up and why I was so upset. I patted his head. Looking at Cecilia, I handed her a small envelope. “Make sure she gets this. Tell her to guard it carefully. No matter what. Tell her if she needs me … tell her she’ll figure it out.”

She nodded.

“
Give her my grey hoodie to wear. She likes that one and it will keep her warm.” My voice broke and I turned away. “Don’t let her come out here, Cecilia. If she asks to stay … I won’t be able to let her go. I can’t watch her leave. Please.”

“
I’ll take care of her, I promise, Joshua,” she spoke comfortingly.

I nodded and heard her leave.

Trevor came up to me and patted my shoulder in comfort. “I called John and he’s on his way with the chopper. I’ll make sure they are both okay, Joshua.”

I was grateful for that. But I wondered if I would ever be okay again.

I could hear the helicopter approach. It was rare that John flew the chopper onto my property, usually landing at the small airfield in Gravenhurst, and Bear’s ears flattened at the strange noise and he buried his head in his paws, whimpering at the loud sound. Unable to help myself, I stood to the side of the door and watched as Cecilia came out, her arm around a sobbing Rabbit. I saw Rabbit struggle to get away from Cecilia and my hand instinctively reached out to her. I began to move forward, every instinct in me telling me to go to her, comfort her and protect her. Trevor grabbed my arm. “Steady there, Joshua. You knew this was going to be the most difficult part.”

I allowed him to hold me back and I let the tears drip down my face unheeded as I watched Cecilia push Rabbit into the helicopter that would take her away from me. Bear suddenly stood up, barking madly, desperately trying to get off his leash and to Rabbit. His howls increased as the door shut and the chopper lifted from the ground. I was grateful the sound of the chopper kept her from hearing him and, at the same time, had kept me from hearing her sobs. I wasn’t sure I was strong enough for that. Despite being told I was doing the right thing repeatedly, there was a piece of me that was screaming how wrong this was; for me and for Rabbit. My eyes followed the chopper as it lifted and flew away, quickly disappearing from sight. Trevor released my arm and I dropped to my knees beside Bear, wrapping my arms around his great neck. I stayed like that, struggling to calm down, listening to Bear’s heavy pants and sad whimpers. I sat up and stared unseeingly at Rabbit’s car. In all of this mess, we had never discussed the car. There was so much we had never discussed.

A sudden thought occurred to me and I stood up and crossed over to the car. I looked inside and then went to the work table and grabbed a pen and paper.

“
Do you still use Frank?” I asked Trevor.

“
Frank the Pit Bull? Yeah, I use him a lot.”

I nodded. I had used him a lot as well. The nickname Pit Bull suited him. He never stopped until he had the answers. I handed him the paper. “Hire him again. Tell him it’s for me and he’s got whatever he needs to take care of this. I want it to be his first priority. I want this VIN traced. I want to know who the owner of the car is. And I want to know everything there is to know about Brian James. And Elizabeth James. Everything.”

“
Joshua …”

I held up my hand. “Just do it, Trevor. I did what I
thought
was the right thing. Now I’m going to fucking make sure it was.”

“
Okay, Joshua. Relax. I’ll get him right on it. Now I need to get going so I’m there when Cecilia needs me.” He hesitated. “Are you going to be okay here, alone?”

I nodded and walked with him to his car. I stood and watched as it disappeared from view. There was another chopper at the small airfield waiting to take him and Daniel back to Toronto as well. Records would show that helicopter transported all of them back to Toronto together. It was another additional layer to keep Rabbit safe.

I turned around and stared at the house knowing the emptiness that now waited for me when I walked in the door. My knees crumbled as I fell into the snow, my head flung back as I roared my pain into the sky until my voice was hoarse. Bear pushed his head into my chest, whining deeply in his throat. Spent, I sat hunched until I felt the shivers tear through my body from the cold. Rising, I trudged wearily forward and Bear and I entered the house. I stood in the doorway watching Bear run around searching for Rabbit. The silence screamed at me in its intensity. The quiet had always been a welcome reprieve for me, but right now, it was an unbearable torture. I walked to the bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed. I picked up Rabbit’s pillow and breathed in the scent of her. A piece of paper caught my eye and I picked it up.

No matter what— I am
always
yours.

Rabbit

I fell back on the bed, grasping her note.

My Rabbit was gone.

I buried my head in her pillow and felt the bed shaking with the intensity of my sobs.

The dampness of my clothes soaked into the bedding.

I didn’t care.

Nothing mattered now.

Chapter Twenty-Three

Rabbit

I woke up reaching for Joshua, but the bed was empty. Even Bear was gone. I sat up as the door opened, thinking it was Joshua coming in with coffee, only to be greeted quietly by Cecilia.

I stared at her, my stomach instantly in knots. “What are you doing here?” I asked, already knowing the answer.

“
It’s time, Elizabeth.”

“
Don’t call me that,” I whispered, trying not to cry. Not yet. I wasn’t ready.

“
I need you to get up and get dressed. We’re leaving soon,” she said kindly but firmly.

“
Tell Joshua I need to talk to him … please.”

She shook her head. “He isn’t here. Get dressed; I’ll meet you in the kitchen.” Cecilia turned and quickly left the room pulling the door shut.

Not here?

Joshua wasn’t here?

I grabbed a pair of the yoga pants that had come from the bag Joshua found, but added his t-shirt that was lying on the chair. His scent surrounded me and I needed that while I figured something out. I needed to talk to Joshua. I splashed some water on my face and brushed my teeth. I padded out to the kitchen with a pair of his socks in my hand. I stood by the table where Cecilia was sitting. “Where is he, Cecilia?”

“
He’s in the barn.”

I nodded. “I’ll go talk to him there then.”

Cecilia stood up. “No, Elizabeth. He doesn’t want you to.”

I stared at her, not understanding. She handed me Joshua’s grey hoodie. “He said to make sure you wore this. It will keep you warm.”

I shook my head, the enormity of what was about to happen hitting me. “He’s not going to say goodbye? He’s just letting me leave … without … without …” my voice broke.

No. Joshua wouldn’t do that.

I straightened up and pulled on the socks, the tears rolling down my face. I began walking to the door, but Cecilia stepped in front of me. “He can’t, Rabbit,” she said pleadingly. “This is killing him. Don’t make it any harder on him. Please.”

I looked at her, my sobs shaking my body. “But I need to see him, Cecilia. I don’t know how to get in touch with him! I don’t even know where we are!”

“
That’s what he wants. The less you know the easier it will be to stick to the story he has set up for you. You won’t get mixed up.”

I looked at her in horror.

“
He doesn’t want me to know where he lives?”

She shook her head.

His words filled my head;
we never happened.

I sat down, my legs unable to hold me up. I buried my head in my hands and sobbed.

I heard a strange noise and lifted my head. I looked at Cecilia.

“
We had the helicopter come here. We have to leave now,” she explained.

I nodded numbly, not even caring enough to ask any questions, and stood up. I went into the bedroom and looked around. I opened the dresser and took some of the money from the envelope. I grabbed a piece of paper and wrote the only thing I could think of on it and placed it on the bed. I left everything else.

I walked back into the kitchen. “Bear is with him?” She nodded, holding out the hoodie again. I pulled it on and stuffed the money into the pocket. I felt the tears welling up again. I wasn’t even allowed to say goodbye to my furry protector.

“
I don’t want this, Cecilia. I want to stay here,” I whispered. I looked at her. “I love him. He needs me.”

Her eyes glistened with unshed tears. “You have to. Joshua’s right. He loves you enough to let you go. He has worked hard to make sure you
can
go back to the life you had, with no repercussions, so respect him for that and do what he is asking you to do. You have to do this … for him.” She paused and drew in a breath. “I know you’re hurting, Elizabeth. He is as well. This wasn’t an easy decision for him.”

My heart hurt so much I instinctively lifted my hand, rubbing my chest in comfort. Feeling empty and defeated, I nodded and pulled on my sneakers. We walked out of the house and I felt myself shaking so hard I could barely stand, let alone put one foot in front of the other. I had no idea where I was going, who I was going to. Everything in me screamed this was wrong and here with Joshua was where I belonged. I felt Cecilia’s arm come around me and I looked at her through the tears streaming down my face. I could hear my own gasping breath as I struggled to breathe against the onslaught of pain.

Her eyes reflected her understanding of my agony, but still she urged me forward. I struggled to get away, wanting to run to the barn. I could feel him watching me leave. I strained to get a glimpse of him, just the chance to look at him one more time, even from afar, but I was pushed into the helicopter cabin and the door slammed behind me before I could turn my head. Cecilia helped me buckle up, then pulled me into a tight embrace as I wept onto her shoulder as the chopper took off, taking me away from Joshua and Bear.