Intrigue Me (18 page)

She wasn’t convinced she was all of those things, but some of them made her squirm.

Although...Daniel wasn’t some idiot to be manipulated. He was brilliant. Far more brilliant than anyone she’d ever met. He might have had sex with her because he was attracted to her, but why on earth would he take her to his father’s grave if she was nothing but arm candy?

And why had he believed her yesterday at the coffee shop and not last night? What had Heather said? Despite how it looked, Lisa had meant no harm. By any other name, she was still Lisa. And her heart was just as vulnerable.

He’d surprised her yesterday. All she’d wanted to do was tell him the truth, but then he was gone, and she hadn’t had a chance to tell him everything. Now, of course, she realized she shouldn’t have said anything until she’d had time to think.

That was what he’d asked for. Time to think. And all she wanted was to stop thinking. Everything in her hurt. Her bones, her muscles, her skin. Her eyes burned; her lower lip was a wreck. She’d thought she’d lived through the worst pain of her life. Wrong, wrong, wrong. She’d tried so hard not to love him. But she’d failed at that, too.

Was it too early to start drinking? Screw it. People had Bloody Marys for breakfast. She could have some Jack. It would take the pain away. Had to, because she couldn’t live with this.

The kitchen was five steps away, and she couldn’t find the will to take them. She’d done her very best. Broken all her rules to be with him. The hell with Tess’s diary, Lisa had been a friend when Daniel had needed one. Why wasn’t he looking at the evidence? She’d never asked him for anything.

There had to be something she could feel aside from heartache and self-pity. She’d tried, hadn’t she?

The volunteering part had been good, even without Daniel. There were free clinics all over New York, so maybe she’d do that again. Meet some people. Be more careful, that was all. Keep her distance.

Still, maybe she should try getting together with old friends first. There weren’t many. But she’d already broken through the awkwardness with Cory, so he seemed like a logical choice. She took a deep, hitching breath and picked up her cell phone. Did she have his personal number? She looked at her contacts, and there it was.

The thought of texting him made her pulse beat even harder, but come on, she wasn’t going to die because Daniel didn’t want her. It only felt as though she was dying. Eventually, it would get better. That would happen faster if she made an effort. That was human nature, right?

Cory it was. She texted him something easy. Nothing too scary.
Maybe we could catch lunch sometime?

Despite all her willpower, she only managed to save it. She’d send it the moment she was ready. Okay. She’d done an almost brave thing on the worst day of her life. That had to count for something.

She tried once more to read the case file on her monitor. Nope.

It was time to cry uncle. Her heart had been broken, so today would be about feeling sad. Maybe tomorrow, too. But not longer than a week.

Her chuckle sounded off. Like a record on the wrong speed. Because a week would never be enough.

19

I
T
HAD
BEEN
three days since that horrible night, and Daniel had managed to wind himself up into an ever-tightening ball of confusion, guilt and remorse. He’d been tempted to call Lisa so many times it was crazy, but he didn’t want to make things worse, so he held off.

Just this morning he’d written her texts out of habit. Just as he’d done the day before. For reasons he barely understood, instead of deleting the small missives, he saved them. He wondered if she was doing the same thing, which was ludicrous. Why would she? He’d sent her away very effectively.

That was where guilt kicked in. Which was happening more and more, and now there were different kinds of unanswerable questions in the mix. If they did get back together, would she ever trust him again? Or had his dismissal pushed her back behind the walls she’d finally managed to escape? If any of that story was even true.

He walked over to the window that took up a large portion of two walls. The view was as spectacular as his father’s crazy dreams. Daniel had an unimpeded view of the reservoir in Central Park.

Lisa had been right, whether through honesty or guile: he’d found nothing about a break in police security online. The name Tess Brouder had a few mentions, but those turned out to be from local papers from her high school years, if that was the same woman. There was no death certificate in the public records, and Daniel wasn’t sure what to make of that.

He missed Lisa more deeply than he’d known was possible, which made him so angry he wanted to scream. Thoughts of her kept him up late and visited his dreams when he did find sleep. During the day, the texts were only part of it. Moss Street wasn’t the same. No one thought or said anything about it because no one knew. Though some of the staff were calling him Dr. Cassidy again. Probably because he’d reined himself in behind his shield of position and status.

His change in demeanor wasn’t notable at the Center, but that was only because Warren wore that stiff mantle all the time.

Daniel picked up the next file on his desk at the Center. He still didn’t feel 100 percent comfortable. In the imaging room, he was in the zone, but here, in Warren’s old office, he couldn’t settle. His brother had taken over their father’s office, and now that Dr. Elliot had pushed back his retirement for another year, he had the office that was to have been Daniel’s. It felt off. Wrong. Even he recognized his discomfort was because of his father’s absence.

A tap at his door was followed immediately by Eve walking in.

“Come in,” he said as sarcastically as he could.

It didn’t faze her. Why did he even try?

“Here,” she said, handing him an elegantly wrapped gift.

“What’s this?” Of course he knew what was in the box. A tie. She hadn’t wrapped one in a long time, though.

“Open it.”

“What’s the occasion?” He pulled the ribbon, not paying it much attention. Eve had made herself comfortable in one of the guest chairs. There were no blue velvet wing chairs, but the price of one of the Louis XV chairs could keep the clinic running for a month.

“You’re coming to work here permanently in two weeks. I thought it was time for a change.”

Shaking his head at Eve’s not so subtle way of telling him it was time to take his place at the Center emotionally as well as physically, he guessed she’d have gotten him something from Prada or D&G. When he opened the box, he sat back, startled. Then he laughed as he held up the tie. “Tweety Bird?”

“That’s the first laugh I’ve heard out of you in a while. You want to tell me what happened to Lisa?”

“No. Nothing happened to her. She was an illusion. Whatever she told you and me was myth.”

“That’s a pretty serious accusation.”

“Based on her own admission. She went to the clinic to investigate me. For a client. I was part of some underground trading-card group. I meant to ask you if the name Josephine Suarez means anything to you.”

Eve closed her eyes as she sighed. “Oh, for heaven’s sake. You know her as Josie. Valeria’s sister. She’s one of our semi-regular volunteers. There was some sort of requirement to submit an eligible bachelor, and she used you. Her intention was to get the card back immediately, but as time went on with no calls to her, she believed the card was lost.”

“And you know this because...?”

“She confessed to Valeria when she lost track of the card. It was a foolish thing to do, but she meant no harm. I should have told you, but it seemed like a moot point by the time I heard about it.”

“You can let her know that I ripped the damn thing to shreds.”

“I will. So you believe that this trading card led Lisa to the clinic?”

“I know it did. She gave a false name. Don’t we check driver’s licenses or anything when someone volunteers?”

Eve studied him for a long moment. “That must have been awful.”

“I said I tore up the card.”

“I meant about Lisa. You two were really good together.”

“I’m fine. Look, I don’t want to talk about this, all right?”

Eve tapped a finger, her brows furrowed. Then she finally said, “Have you spoken to a designer about remodeling this office?”

“No.”

“You really expect me to believe you’ll be happy working out of Warren’s old office without changing a thing?” She nodded at the gilded nightmare of a Louis the-something-or-other desk. “That monstrosity belongs in a museum. Literally.”

“What,” he said, “you don’t like ormolu drawer pulls?”

“The point is you don’t. Please talk to me, Daniel. You’d been so happy. Did she really lie about everything? That just seems impossible.”

He didn’t want to rehash his very real nightmare, but if there was one person in the world he could truly trust, it was Eve. So he started at the beginning of the end. The day at the cemetery. He didn’t tell Eve what he’d said about his father, just what it felt like to trust Lisa so much.

When he reached the part about how he’d told Lisa to leave, he could barely look at Eve. He closed his eyes when he asked her all the questions he’d been asking himself, including the one that bothered him the most. “How could she not tell me her name? I would have understood, if she’d only told me what was going on from the start.”

“Daniel,” she said, shaking her head. “You’re so very smart, but sometimes that big brain of yours doesn’t do you any favors. I believe the expression is ‘can’t see the forest for the trees’?”

“I really can’t deal with a life lesson right now, Eve. Just please, if you see things more clearly than I do, tell me. I honest to God don’t know what to do.”

“Okay. Tell me something. How did you feel when you were with her?”

His chin hit his chest. He debated changing the subject. Refusing to answer. But in the end he did as she asked. “Wonderful,” he said. “Grounded. Happy.” He looked at Eve again. At her steady gaze. “Lisa was different. She didn’t care about money or the clinic or where I’d gone to school. I wanted that. Her. I was more like myself with Lisa than I’ve ever been. But don’t you get it? That’s why it hurts so much. Who the hell was I with? Lisa Pine or Lisa McCabe? Or someone else she would make up tomorrow?”

“There was something you said earlier.” Eve’s voice was calm, unlike his. “Try to imagine if everything you now have in your professional life was taken away. Stolen from you. If no one cared that you’d been at the top of your classes and won coveted awards. What if it didn’t matter that you’ve saved so many lives? That you were
you
.” Eve paused. “Now, imagine it was me who betrayed you.”

Daniel experienced a physical reaction. As if he’d received a blow to his chest.

Eve smiled gently. “That’s who came to the clinic that day. A woman stripped of her identity in every way that counted. Now that I know the depth of her betrayal by her closest friend, I would have been stunned if she’d told you her real name. What astonishes me more is that she let you into her heart. What a risk she took.

“Trust me when I say Lisa is in love with you. Her false name is a symptom, not the cause. And you can just toss out every single thing Heather said. Her only agenda was to snag herself a rich doctor. She had no idea who she was talking about. But you do.”

Tears burned at the backs of his eyes, and that hadn’t happened in years. Not even at his father’s funeral. He went back to the window, although he saw nothing but Lisa. For a long time, he thought about what Eve said. About what life would be like without the woman he loved.

The sky was ablaze with color when he finally said, “The courage it must have taken for her to stand in front of me like that. When she knew I’d already made up my mind. Even then she bared the most damaged part of herself, holding nothing back. I should be so brave.”

“You are that brave,” Eve said. “You went and found your own path when everything was against you. I’m immensely proud of you, and that won’t ever change. But if you truly understand Lisa, you know that she’s in a lot of pain right now, and you’re the cure.”

“What if it’s too late?”

“All you have to do is tell her the truth. All of it. And you’ll be fine.”

He moved from the window and did something he hadn’t done in years. He hugged Eve. “Thank you.”

“No sweat. Now go on and get her.”

* * *

L
ISA
WALKED
SLOWLY
on her street. It would be dark in a few minutes and she probably should have hurried, but she didn’t care. Today had been about as boring as her job could get. She’d had to wait in a Starbucks, by the window, watching the bank across the street. The man she was looking for was supposedly going to cash out his life savings, leaving his family penniless, while he then took off for Bali.

It was hateful. She’d had too many cups of coffee, then soda, then coffee again. Too many pastries, and far too much time to think about Daniel. She did see the man. She did call Logan, who then carried on without her. Now she was full, and all she wanted was to veg out in her luxury apartment and watch her fifty-inch HDTV. Unfortunately, she had to go back to her real apartment.

Missing him was a permanent ache now. A piece of her heart cut out, only the phantom pain remaining.

As she approached her building, she saw a man standing near the door. His back was to her, but she knew without one iota of doubt that it was Daniel. Her crippled heart thudded in her chest and for a few glorious seconds she thought everything would turn out exactly as she’d wished a thousand times. He would say he was sorry, that he realized she was the one for him. They’d ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after.

The fairy tale ended with her next step and a dose of reality. She had no idea why Daniel was there. He could have come to apologize for his behavior, but not the outcome. He was the type to do just that, so she needed to put her expectations in a back drawer before she did herself more harm.

He turned when she was almost upon him. “Lisa.”

She wasn’t going to read anything into his breathlessness. “You’re here.”

He nodded.

“Did you call?” She opened her purse to get out her cell.

“No. I was afraid you wouldn’t answer.”

She looked at him again in the waning light. His hair was sticking up in a way that told her he’d run his hands through it a lot. His suit, normally impeccable, looked wrinkled. “How long have you been waiting?”

“Not long.”

His breathing was coming fast, and the look of him... “Do you want to come up, or are you in a hurry?”

“Yes. I mean, I’m not— I’d like to come up.”

Her mouth had gone dry as they entered the building and had gotten worse in the elevator. Not a word was spoken and they stood considerably farther apart than when it’d been good. She hated that she was visibly shaking, but she still managed to get them both inside. He turned to her before she could close the door.

“I was an ass.”

She inhaled. It was harder than ever to hold on to her hopes. After shutting the door, she put her purse down on the table. There were several envelopes in her in-box, all with her real name, but that didn’t matter now. “I asked a lot of you the other night when I asked you to hear me out.”

“I could have been more of a gentleman about it.”

“Well, I’m not sure how this is going to turn out, but go ahead. Say what you have to say.” There was no way she could hold back a small smile. He was there, with her. And he wasn’t angry. It made her feel better.

“I wanted you to know that some things have changed.” He wasn’t quite meeting her eyes now, and although he’d relaxed some, he started pacing, something he’d never done. “For me, I mean. I’m going to start working full-time at the Center in two weeks. I’ll still volunteer at the clinic, although I’ll have limited hours. That should give me time to see any non-emergency neurological cases. Emergency cases will come right to the Center. I’ll make sure they’re seen and treated, all pro bono. But only if it doesn’t get out of hand.”

“Right.” She should probably ask him to sit down. Or why he was telling her all this. But all she could do was stand there with her trembling hands and cautious heart.

He stopped in front of her. “Some things, some decisions, I’m not sure about. Not the things I needed to do, like step up at the Center. More personal things. But when I tried to think about my next step I...needed you.”

She swallowed, warned herself not to get too excited. “Why?”

“Even when I was angry, I missed you so goddamn much. It drove me crazy. I’ve been a blind, self-righteous jerk. Finally, today, I was able to really understand all you’d told me.” He let out a harsh breath. “I admit, Heather threw me. I should never have listened to her but we were still new, and I was confused about that damn trading card. But that’s not important now. I owe you an apology for so much more.”

“You’re doing pretty well, I think.”

He smiled. Took a half step forward. “It took me too long to figure out, but I finally get that when I took you to the cemetery I changed the rules. We were keeping things casual. Then I’d jumped ahead at least five big steps and I expected you to follow me when I had no right to.”