Invisible (16 page)

“
No. He looked happy to go with them. I’m sorry.” Charlie takes another bite of her sandwich and a swig of Pepsi.

“
I don’t believe it. You saw how Nino treats Jon. He punches him and puts him in head locks and...”

“
But that’s how guys are. They horse around like that all the time. I wouldn’t worry about it, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t like
you
any more,” she says around the edges of a belch.

I’m not buying what she’s selling. From the look in Charlie’s eyes, I can tell she’s worried too. “That’s how it feels.” I walk to a garbage can and throw my lunch away. “I’m going to the cafeteria to see for myself.”

“
Wait, I’ll come too.” Charlie jumps to her feet and links her arm through mine. Together we march into the noisy, chaos-filled cafeteria of Maple Ridge Secondary School.

“
Look who it is,” Nino hollers from across the room.

I will my feet to move until Charlie and I are standing directly in front of Nino, Tyler, Julia and Jon.

“
Jonny-boy,” Nino snarls, “looks like your girlfriend’s here to see you.”

“
You a chubby chaser, Jon?” Tyler asks, nudging Jon with a shoulder.

Jon doesn’t look at me. He focuses on his hands that are resting on his bobbing knees; it’s his nervous habit. His cheeks burn in red splotches and sweat beads on his brow.

“
Why don’t you sit down and join us, ladies, or is it offensive to call a dyke a lady?” Nino says, eyeing Charlie.

“
Let’s go.” Charlie pulls me away.

“
Hey, why don’t you show us your disappearing act?” Nino calls as we walk away.

I stop dead, blood draining to my feet.

Charlie takes hold and with a determined yank, drags me out of the cafeteria and into the bathroom.

I just make it into a stall before the fluttering in my chest tells me I’ve disappeared.

“
Lola? You okay?”

“
No,” I answer but I know full well she can’t hear me.

“
Lola?”

I concentrate on the stall door, give it a good kick, and see Charlie’s red sneakers leap back in surprise. She inches forward. “You gone?”

Again I bang the door. “Okay. Good job with the kicking by the way.” There’s a tinge of excitement in her voice. “I’ll just wait then. Let me know when you think you’re back.”

I perch on the edge of the chipped black plastic toilet seat and try to calm myself with deep breathing, but it’s useless, I’m too upset.

Charlie peeks under the door. “Not back yet,” she mutters more to herself than me.

The bathroom door creaks open and the room is suddenly flooded with the sounds of the hallway as someone walks in.

“
Get out,” Charlie commands.

An indignant huff echoes through the room and the girl, whoever she was, leaves.

“
Take deep breaths, Lola. Forget about them. Guys are assholes. They all end up hurting you, eventually.”

How
could Jon do this to me? I’d confided in him my deepest secret and he told my enemies. Why does everybody hate me? And why do I have to keep disappearing. God, it’s really starting to get on my nerves.

I squeeze my eyes shut and imagine my feet planted firmly on the floor, holding me in place like the roots of a tree. Then I visualize a stream of white light funnelling through me, from the crown of my head, down my spine and into my feet. I’m not sure where all this is coming from; perhaps from one of those new age meditation videos I used to watch years ago.

Something’s happening.

It’s subtle, as if a weight has been lifted.

My breath escapes me in one big relieved
whoosh
.

I’m back and I know it.

With a palm I bang on the stall door and Charlie’s upside down smiling face appears. “Welcome back.”

I click open the door. “I think I’ve discovered a way to bring myself back faster.”

“
That’s great. What did you do?”

“
Just planted my feet, really felt them solid on the ground and imagined a flow of energy running through me and into the floor.”

“
Good, the more control over your ability, the better you’ll feel about it.”

Despite my new discovery, I can’t manage to work up any excitement over it. “I can’t stay at school a minute longer, Char. I’ve got to get out of here.”

She slaps my back and leads me out the door. “I’m with ya. How ’bout we go to the mall?”

“
Sounds good to me.”

We make a brief stop at our lockers to grab our knapsacks, wallets and cellphones and ten minutes later we’re sitting on the 64B.

The whole way there my phone buzzes incessantly. “Jon’s texting me.” I hold the phone up to show Charlie.

“
What’s he saying?”

“
He’s sorry and he wants to explain.”

“
What are you going to do?”

I power off the phone. “That’s what I’m going to do. Nothing he can say will ever make up for what he just did to me.”

Despite the heaviness in my heart, Charlie and me manage a little fun. We try on clothes and have a bite in the food court. Then we stop in at U-Nique Tattoos and Piercings to say hi to Ben, but he’s not in and Billy’s too scary to talk to, even for Charlie, so we hurry out.

It’s a relief to spend the afternoon away from school and with my best friend.

“
Thanks for this,” I say as we walk through the mall, enjoying a frozen yogurt – an extra-large chocolate with two spoons. “I guess you’re right about guys. They do end up hurting you.”

“
Yeah, I see it every day in my mother’s face and in how hard she has to work to make ends meet. My dad’s an asshole, and not only does she have to pay for it, I do too. There’s no future for me. I have to get a full-time job right after graduation to help out.”

Charlie’s words make me wonder if that’s why she is the way she is. I want so much to ask if she prefers girls to boys, but I don’t have the courage. I guess I’ll just have to wait ’til the grad dance. That notion brings an unpleasant thought. I guess I don’t have a date any more.

“
What are you going to do tomorrow when you see Jon?” Charlie asks.

I lift one shoulder in a shrug. “Ignore him. It shouldn’t be too hard, school’s almost over and then I’ll never have to see him again. At least we weren’t boyfriend and girlfriend yet,” I say knowing that’s no consolation. He still managed to break my heart.

“
Guess that’s the right thing to do. The days will pass and soon we’ll be out of school. Well, at least I’ll be. You’re still going to university.”

I sigh. “Yeah, I sure hope it’s different there.”

“
I think it will be. You’ll have a fresh start. You can reinvent yourself.”

“
I don’t think there’s any use in that. I am what I am, and
who
I am.” I think about what Grandma Rose told me in the hospital – I’ve got to find a way to love myself. That seems like the answer to all my problems.

The question is how?

Chapter Twenty-Eight

I make it home just in time to intercept the pre-recorded message from my school. The voice on the other end lets me know which periods were missed by Lola Savullo. Which is pretty stupid really, since every kid at Maple Ridge High knows to expect the call and grab the phone before the unsuspecting parent catches a whiff of guilt from their school-skipping teenager. I erase the call history when I hang up. I’ll write myself a note, sign Mom’s name and take it to the attendance office tomorrow.

Dinner’s uneventful and quiet. Eva steals furtive glances and I meet her gaze with a stern glare and a slow shake of my head. She looks away. Size has always been my one advantage over Eva. She knows I can pummel her into the ground as easily as swatting a mosquito, but now I have more ammo. Now, there’s not just fear reflected in her eyes, but terror. I grin inwardly and secretly wish I could gloat.

I’ve played around with the thought of letting my secret out. The power I’d have over my family would be satisfying, but it wouldn’t feel right. I know the kind of girl I am, and it’s not the power hungry, “I’m going to crush you unless I get my way” kind. I’m the “don’t look at me… I wish I were invisible” sort of girl. After all, isn’t this how it all started in the first place? Pretty ironic, actually.

After dinner I go to my room and toss my still silent cellphone onto my desk. It’s a relief to be incommunicado. I’m in my own little world for a while with no distractions.

After plucking a novel from my shelf,
Club Dead
, book three of the Sookie Stackhouse
series, I make myself comfortable on my bed to read for a while.

A moment later, Eva trounces up the stairs, her door clicks shut; probably on her laptop, instant messaging her loser friends. I’m just glad she’s staying out of my way.

The sounds of Mom cleaning up after dinner and Dad watching television filter up to my room and I marvel at how life goes on, despite loss, hurt and the injustices of the world.

A moment later, the doorbell breaks my concentration. Dad’s heavy footfalls echo through the hallway as he makes his way to the door.

I elbow myself up, cock an ear and listen.

Dad’s deep voice carries well, and along with it, another voice filters through my bedroom door. It’s Jon!

“
Lola!” Dad calls.

Unsure what to do, I jump to my feet. I have no choice but to face him.

“
Lola, someone’s here to see you!” he calls again, his voice a little sing-songy.

I creak open my door. “Okay, be right there.”

Eva’s door inches open and our eyes meet from across the hall. I throw her a nasty look.
Nosy bitch
. She turns her nose up in seeming disgust and clicks the door shut again.

I head downstairs, sucking in deep breaths all the way.

Jon’s standing in the front entrance, tall and handsome in a dark gray sweatshirt and baggy jeans, a single red rose in his hand.

He holds out the flower. “This is for you.”

With arms folded tightly across my chest, I narrow my eyes. “I don’t want it,” I say through gritted teeth.

Dad’s smile fades and Mom, who had taken a few steps toward us, quickly returns to the kitchen, now with Dad right behind her.

“
Will you come for a walk with me?”

“
Why would I go anywhere with you?”

The hand holding the rose falls. “I know I don’t deserve for you to even talk to me, but if you’d let me explain…”

I hold up a hand to still him. “I don’t want to hear your excuses. Nothing you can say will justify what you did to me today.”

“
What if I told you I did it to save you and Charlie?”

That catches my attention and the next round of cruel words die in my throat. “Okay, let’s walk.”

The late afternoon is warm and the signs of summer bloom everywhere. Trees are filling in with dense foliage and flowers brighten the front yards of each house we pass.

“
Don’t you want this?” he asks, holding the rose out to me again.

I shake my head. “Where do you want to go?”

He lets the flower drop to the sidewalk. “I don’t care where we go, just as long as you listen to me.”

“
Start talking.” I walk at a good clip.

“
Julia told me that Nino was going to beat you up after graduation and that he was going to do something…
worse
to Charlie.”

My heart launches into my throat and I stop dead. “What?”

“
It’s true. She told me right before lunch. I didn’t believe it at first, but you shoulda seen the look on her face. She cried when she told me. Julia’s not all bad. I used to think Nino was an okay guy, that he was just a bit of a jerk, but I know better now. He’s dangerous, Lola. It’s up to me to protect you and Charlie and I’ll do whatever it takes.” Tears stand in his eyes.

“
What was he going to do to Charlie?” I ask slowly, not sure I really want to know.

Jon brings a hand to his forehead and rubs his temples. “You know,” he says in a hesitant whisper.

“
No, I don’t know. Tell me.”

He begins to walk away and I have to jog to catch up with him. “Please, tell me.”

A frown creases his forehead. “Something bad… because she’s a lesbian.”

A sick feeling ferments in the pit of my stomach. I clutch at his arm. “Are you sure? Are you 100% certain?”

“
Pretty certain.”

“
Then we’ve got to go to the police.”

“
What can they do? Nothing’s happened yet. I think our best bet is to make sure nothing does. That’s why I want to get close enough to watch his every move.”

“
And then what? What can you do by yourself if he does try something? And what about Tyler? Is he in on this?”