[Invitation to Eden 15.0] Return to Sender (7 page)

“But who takes care of you?” He couldn’t help himself. He touched her hand and threaded his fingers through hers.

“I don’t really need to be taken care of. I’m okay.”

Marc just raised his brows. Even he heard the lackluster in her voice. She needed to be taken care of and he needed to be the one to do it. He felt it, deep inside.

“Will you let me?” He hadn’t meant to ask her. Hadn’t meant to say the words out loud. But he did and now his world rested on her answer.

“Don’t answer that.” He wasn’t sure he could handle knowing. Not yet. It was too early, too soon. There was more to be done, more that he needed to do, to show. There was something there between them, something that went beyond physical attraction, although he could see it in the way she subconsciously leaned towards him while they walked side by side, and even now, how she was angled towards him. He knew body language and he could read hers loud and clear.

There was more between them, though. It was in the silence, the peace. He just needed her to realize it, to believe in it. To believe in him and what they have.

He needed to prove to her that they had more than just a memory of love.

Chapter Eight

Would she let him? Her heart basically melted the moment he asked. She almost said yes before he stopped her.

He stopped her. Why? Why would he do that? Was he unsure? Did he regret asking?

All morning, all she’d wanted to do was lean into him and wrap her arms around his waist and feel him, his strength. She wanted to have the feel of his arms around her and to know it wasn’t all in her memory.

And he’d stopped her. Maybe it was for the best.

Last night, she’d gone to bed with a plan. She’d been pissed. Well, more than a little pissed. But once she calmed down and really thought about what he’d said...she couldn’t fault him for being scared six years ago. She did blame him for how he reacted—standing her up was not okay, but if he asked her to forgive him, she would. It was in the past.

She’d realized last night that she had a choice. It was obvious he wanted a second chance, so the ball was in her court. She’d held on to the memory of them for so long...was she willing to give it up all because he made a mistake? Her pride said yes...that he wasn’t worth her heart, but her heart...her heart said differently.

But today was a new day. A new chance. And she was going to do everything she could to give whatever they had between them that chance.

She’d thought he wanted the same, except now it didn’t sound as if he was too sure.

They ate their breakfast in silence. Every time she’d wanted to say something, she stopped herself.

What could she say?

Yes, there was a connection between them. The past six years seemed to just melt away but that didn’t negate the fact that for years he’d given up on them.

Something neither one had the courage to bring up, apparently.

“Answer me one question.” She decided to dare it. To bring it up and see what he had to say.

“Anything.”

“Why couldn’t you tell me how you felt? Why did you think standing me up and then remaining silent for six years was the right thing to do? After all, you had my information.”

The look on Marc’s face gave her pause. As if he couldn’t believe she asked him that.

“You didn’t leave me your contacts. I went back, a few days afterwards, hoping maybe you’d left a message, but there’d been nothing. I blamed myself. You were probably mad at me for not showing up, for not being there.” His voice remained calm, at ease, but the way the veins in his neck stood out and how tight he gripped his fork...he was anything but calm.

“I was,” she admitted. She leaned forward and rested her elbow on the table. “My parents had been in a car accident and I couldn’t stay. I wanted to. I thought about going back the next morning to see if maybe you’d been held up, but I couldn’t. So I left them a letter to give to you.”

“A letter?”

She nodded.

“You left me a letter.”

“Did you not get it?” There was a sick twist in her gut and she needed to move, to walk, to be anywhere but in this chair. She pushed it back and stood.

“Where are you going?” Marc wiped his mouth with the napkin and stood.

Lauren’s chest was tight and she knew she was about to have one of her classic panic attacks when things were out of her control.

“I need to walk.” She struggled to breathe in deep. “I just need to walk.” She left him standing there and took off, almost running until she was down by the water. She took off her sandals and looked back to see that Marc spoke with the waiter.

She felt bad for leaving him like that but she had no choice.

Her thoughts went round and round, like one of those horses on a merry-go-round. She left him a letter. He never wrote her. Never contacted her. But then, maybe he didn’t get it. For years, she’d thought that, wondered that...but the owner had promised her Marc would get it.

Promised her.

He’d stood her up but then he’d gone back...that said something. That told her that he’d been able to move past his fear...but it had still been too late. Inside, she was unsettled. She wasn’t sure how she was supposed to feel: Angry? Sad? Confused? All of those?

The water lapped the shoreline and caressed her toes. It was warm and felt refreshing, so she stepped farther in until her ankles were submerged. She stood there and watched the way the sun danced along the water, sparkling like diamonds, and hugged herself as Marc stood at her side.

“It almost feels like we were doomed from the start, doesn’t it?”

“No, love. Not doomed. We just weren’t ready.”

She shook her head. “The owner promised me you’d get the letter. She promised. I always wondered...thought that maybe you hadn’t gotten it, but then I would remember the way you’d talk with the owner, how friendly you were and that she was a friend of your parents.”

She turned to him and when she caught the look in his eyes, she knew...

“But you never got it. She never gave it to you, because...”

He turned to her and placed his hands on her shoulders. “Because she knew my mother wouldn’t understand my being in love with a foreigner.” The way he said it, so sad and forlorn, told her more than she probably wanted to know.

She sighed and in that release of breath, she let out everything that she’d kept bottled up inside her. All the pain of the past six years, of feeling unloved, neglected, unworthy. The sadness of knowing that what they had wasn’t real. The heaviness of wondering whether she’d done something, anything, to cause his silence.

“And if you’d gotten the letter...would you have contacted me? Or would you have left things alone and been a good French boy who listened to his mother? Would you have kept running?”

“I would have written you. Emailed you. I would have begged for your forgiveness for not being there and for being so foolish. And then I would have done anything and everything to make it work.”

She closed her eyes at his words.

“But in the end, we both would have known it couldn’t have.”

“Could you have left your parents?”

She shook her head. “The accident was rough. Dad was in a coma for weeks. Mom broke both her legs and hip. I couldn’t have left them. I haven’t. Until now.”

“Family is the most important thing in our lives. Without them, we are lost.”

Lauren reached her hand up and gently touched his cheek. She stroked his unshaven jawline and memorized every subtle change from what she’d remembered.

“Our hearts would have been broken, no matter what. We both would have chosen our families over our love.”

Marc nodded while he stepped towards her. He took the shoes from her hand and threw them back on the beach, and then pulled her close.

“But what we have...it’s more than just a memory of a love.”

She loved being in his arms. It was everything she’d remembered it to be. But...even though this is what she’d wanted, what she’d hoped would happen, why did it feel wrong? Like it wasn’t meant to be?

There was a sadness in her heart that surprised her.

“I’m not sure if it is.” She hated the words as she spoke them, but she knew, in her heart, it was the truth.

“If there is one thing that I’ve learned about myself, it is that my heart is never wrong. Ever. I loved you. I loved everything about you, or what I thought I knew about you. And I held that close. It’s what got me through these past six years. The memory of what we had. The memory of our love. And it was enough. More than enough. But, that’s all it was—”

“Don’t say it.” Marc shook his head but wouldn’t look her in the eyes.

She ran her fingers over his jawline and then touched his lips.

“It was just a memory.” She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him. A gentle touch of her lips against his.

A goodbye.

“It wasn’t just a memory. What we had was real,” Marc argued.

She stepped out of his arms. “It was real. Then. But for the past six years...it’s just been a memory. We’re not the same people we were then. We’ve grown up, changed...but we’re still very much apart.”

“We don’t have to be though.” Marc stuck his hands in his pockets. “You’ve given up on us, on the idea of us. I can hear it in your voice.”

Lauren didn’t say anything. What could she say?

“This weekend wasn’t meant for us to say goodbye. It was to give us a second chance. Sure, there are obstacles...but I knew the moment Lexi showed me your picture that we’d been given a second chance.”

“Don’t you think that’s a sign, though? That we share best friends and yet, in all those years, we’ve never crossed each other’s path? Marc, I deal with your company on a regular basis and we never put two and two together. Doesn’t that say something?”

For two heartbeats, there was silence. Lauren could have sworn that time stopped between them as she waited for him to answer.

“It means we weren’t ready.”

She heard the hope in his voice, the belief, and tears pricked her eyes. She turned from him and stared out over the water. She tilted her head back and stared up into the cloudless sky before she closed her eyes.

“Every year, on the weekend of when I last saw you, I hide myself away so that I can remember you. Every other day of the year, I’ve forced myself to move on, to forget you, but once a year, I remember what we had. I remember what it was like to feel loved, to be in your arms, to believe in a future together despite all the odds. I try to recreate our meals. I write you letters...I fall in love with you all over again.”

His arms encircled around her and she leaned back into his chest. She rested her head on his shoulder and breathed in deep, letting this moment envelope her.

“Don’t forget about me, please,” Marc whispered in her ear.

“I had planned on letting you go, this weekend.” Her voice broke against her own whispered words and Marc’s arms tightened around her.

“I’m not letting you,” he said. “Ever again.”

“But what if I want you to?” It was hard to say the words, to admit them. Her heart broke a little and the tears flowed down her cheeks. But she couldn’t take them back.

Marc laid a kiss on the top of her head and then rested his cheek there.

They stood there, for what seemed like hours, but was probably only minutes. Lauren revealed in each second and knew she would always remember this moment. She would hold it close to her heart and think of how it felt to have his arms around her once more, when she laid in bed at night, alone.

“You are my soul mate, Lauren Summer,” Marc whispered. “That will never change. There will never be another in my heart. But if you want to walk away, if you need to say goodbye to me, to us...” his voice faltered, “then I will not stop you.”

She turned in his arms then, not believing what he’d just said. She’d thought...she thought he would have fought harder for her. For them. But he wasn’t. And she wanted him to. Needed him to...except, wasn’t that what she’d said earlier?

“I will always be here. Always. But I will not force you to do anything you are not ready to do. Yet. I’ve lost six years without you in my life, but I will gladly lose another six if it means you will keep thinking of me, knowing that I haven’t walked away.” He leaned down and placed a kiss on her forehead, then on her closed eyes, and then on her lips, where he stayed, his lips moving over hers in a silent plea.

“Just promise me you will never forget about me.” He breathed the words into her mouth as he laid one final kiss on her lips and then stepped away.

She was so confused. What just happened?

She wiped at the tears that lingered on her cheeks and shook her head, not sure what to say or what to do. So she did the only thing she knew...she ran.

#

Marc watched Lauren run from him. As difficult as it was for him to stand still, he did it.

He knew this is what she needed to do.

They’d have to work on this habit, though; it wasn’t going to go well if she continually ran from him when she was confused.

He moved upwards, away from the water, and sat down in the sand. He wasn’t sure how long he would have to wait for her to come back, so he might as well do what he wanted for a bit.

And right now, sitting on the beach, soaking in the sun, was exactly what he wanted.

“Is Eden still the paradise you pictured it to be?” Someone stepped over him and blocked out the sun.

Marc turned. His hand shielded his eyes and he glared up at Sean.

“Mind if I join you?” Sean asked as he sat down beside him. “Saw Lauren running. All okay?”

Marc shrugged. “She’s got to work things out, but she’ll be back. Hopefully.”

“I don’t know, man. That’s twice she’s run from you in a matter of days. Hours, actually. I’d be a bit worried, if I were in your shoes.”

Marc leaned back on his elbows and smiled. “She’ll come back.” He knew she would. He wasn’t too worried. He didn’t know why...but there was a sense of...peace about all of this.

“My brothers and I are going to get a game of beach volleyball going. You want in?” Sean pushed himself up to his feet.

There was nothing Marc liked better than a good game of volleyball on the beach, but not today.

“I told her I’d be here, waiting. Don’t want to break my promise.”

Sean reached his hand down and Marc grabbed hold of it and shook it. “You’re a good man. We’re all rooting for you,” Sean said.

“Even Tyler?”

“Well,” Sean grinned, “Tyler’s rooting for Lauren. Can’t blame the guy either.”

Marc laughed as Sean left. No, he couldn’t blame the guy at all.

#

Lauren could barely see where she was going from the steady stream of tears in her eyes. She was a fool. Again.

Why was the first thing she thought to do was to run? Why? She wasn’t a runner—in life or in character—so why did she take off from Marc instead of facing things like a grown woman would do?

Soul mates. The word bloomed in her heart while at the same time planted a seed of fear.

Up ahead she could see some activity. There were tables, chairs, umbrellas, hammocks, a game of volleyball and little cabanas all over the place.

She slowed and wiped her face. She hoped she didn’t look like the ugly crying fool she was.

She couldn’t believe she ran. Again. He was bound to think her emotionally unstable and he’d be right.