Iridescent (Ember 2) (49 page)

Lofi snorted a quiet laugh. “You are still hiding, Sebastian. It’s you that’s always been afraid, and right now, it’s only yourself you are protecting. One day, when all this is over—” she waved her hand around “—she will remember, and she will ask you why.”

“By then, she will have a lifetime of memories, a family, the career she wanted…”

“And what will you have?”

“I’ll have you.” Sebastian grinned, and his hand twitched by his side. It felt forced; his lips pulled tightly over his teeth, and he knew the smile wouldn’t reach his eyes. They betrayed him every time.

Lofi reached up and flattened her palm to his cheek. Her lovely brown eyes caught the light and reflected gold. Sebastian saw her pity there and closed his own eyes against it. He didn’t want or need anyone’s pity.

“I love you, Sebastian, but I won’t be your crutch this time.”

Sebastian flashed his eyes open to see that she had turned away from him and back to the scene across the street.

Both Candra’s and Ivy’s families were gathering for more photographs. Ivy laughed brightly at something Candra said, and Ivy’s mother touched Brie’s arm. They exchanged a few words before Ivy’s mother took the camera from Brie. Gabe wrapped his arm around Brie’s shoulder and leaned down to kiss her lips gently. Even Ivy’s dad joined in vigorously shaking hands with Payne, both proud fathers glancing down at their daughters.

Sebastian watched them glowing with happiness and turning wide cheesy smiles to the camera. He had never felt so empty or so much longing. None of them missed him. No one sensed his absence, not even Candra, he realized with a groan. Yet, for him, it was as if a steel chain had been tied around his waist, tethering him to her…to all of them. No matter what he did, he couldn’t break the connection. He wanted to be with them, and he craved Candra’s presence. Knowing that was how it was meant to be, that their connection was made that way for her protection, didn’t make it less real. There was more to it than his desire to protect her. It was a hunger he couldn’t satisfy, churning in the pit of his stomach, something that only her touch eased. As much as Sebastian wanted to pledge himself to Candra forever, he had already pledged himself to the Arch long ago.

“You know, there is something to be said for Divine Intervention,” Lofi observed. “I have a message for you.”

“Huh?” he asked, dragging his attention back to the angel by his side. “A message?”

“The Arch is angry with you.”

That got his full attention. He had thought that with Draven back by the Arch’s side, he wouldn’t be missed. It was what Draven wanted, after all. Sebastian straightened, taking his weight off the pole. “What? Why? I’ve been doing exactly what I was made to do—watching. I haven’t approached them. I’ve kept myself concealed. I’ve been ripping myself to pieces to keep my promise to heaven.” He sighed deeply, his shoulders drooping. “It doesn’t matter what I do. I will always disappoint.”

Lofi huffed. “Only because you continue to punish yourself.”

Sebastian frowned and opened his mouth to argue but snapped his lips shut when no argument came to him. There was none. Lofi was right. Her smug pout told Sebastian she knew it.

“What’s the message?” he asked, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

Lofi’s eyes darted across the street and reached up again, this time placing her hand lightly on his shoulder. Sebastian couldn’t move, finding himself utterly transfixed by her serene expression. Peace washed through him from where her fingers touched his skin and spread everywhere, the way water expands to fill every available crevice. His muscles relaxed, as if an immeasurable weight had been pressing down on him and now suddenly lifted. When the sensation reached his head, Sebastian had to use all his concentration just to stay focused on Lofi’s mouth and the words spilling from her lips like beautiful music.

“The Arch said, ‘Enough.’”

Across the street, Candra’s head whipped in his direction, as if he’d called her name. Sebastian was certain he hadn’t. Candra beamed a smile and said something Sebastian couldn’t hear to Ivy. She broke away from the rest of the group, ignoring Brie calling after her.

Sebastian made to take a step back, but his limbs didn’t appear to want to cooperate. In fact, his legs felt jellified, and he wasn’t entirely sure they could hold his weight. He grabbed onto the lamppost beside him, noticing his scruffy nails.

“What is she doing?” he asked himself as she turned her head up and down the street, waiting for a break in the traffic. She took the first opportunity and darted toward him.

“Hey.” Candra stood on her toes and kissed Sebastian’s cheek. She chuckled when her cap got in the way and pulled it off, raking her fingers across her scalp. “Where did you get to?”

Sebastian opened his mouth to answer, but couldn’t remember why he was there. His body was stronger and steadier than a moment ago, although he had no answer. He recalled leaving the graduation ceremony ahead of the crowd to get some air and talking to someone. When he tried to picture the person he had been talking to, he drew a complete blank.

Candra pressed her hand to his chest, and her smile faded to worry. She peered up to his face, narrowed her eyes, and hummed, scrutinizing him thoroughly. The hairs on the back of his neck prickled. He hated being made to feel like an insect under a microscope, and Candra always saw deeper than anyone else. But that was one of the things he loved most about her, too.

“Your heart is going a mile a minute. Are you sure you’re okay?”

He wrapped his fingers around hers, feeling the vibration of his heart against his hand. It thundered, just like she said.

“I guess that’s the effect you have on me,” Sebastian told her. His lips twitched at one side. It wasn’t exactly a smile.

Candra smirked and kissed the corner of his mouth. Sebastian’s hand slipped around her back, urging her closer. As soon as his lips touched hers, everything was right in the world. He instinctively knew he was in the right time at the right place for the second time ever.

Sebastian kissed her like a drowning man finding air. This girl made his soul sing, and he’d known right from the start that there would never be anyone else for him. Eighteen months with her had passed in the blink of an eye since the first time he’d laid eyes on her after he’d returned from traveling in Europe.

It had been a small coffee house, somewhere he’d stopped while getting re-acquainted with the city. There had been a young boy screaming at the top of his lungs, and Sebastian had been diligently ignoring the child, keeping his nose stuck in his book and his own business. He’d chanced a momentary look only when the boy had calmed, and Sebastian heard his squeals replaced by giggles. That was the moment his life changed forever.

He’d sat there mesmerized by the beautiful girl pulling faces to amuse the child. He’d barely noticed the child’s mother and her obvious relief and gratitude. The girl had waved her off with a dismissive smile and pointed to her untouched coffee, indicating the woman should take the opportunity to get back to her refreshment.

Sebastian’s chest had tightened, and the ambient noise of the coffee house had faded to nothing, replaced by the violent thumping of his heart. His vision had blurred around the edges and darkened, seeping inward until all he could see was her. It had been as if the girl had been a candle glowing in the darkness. His entire world had only consisted of her. Sebastian had never believed in angels, but later, when he spoke about those moments to Candra, he’d told her it had been like Cupid’s arrow striking him square in the chest. Ignoring everything else—the crowded shop, the child and his mother, the other woman sitting at the table with the object of his desire—Sebastian had walked right up to her and introduced himself.

“Do you remember the day we met?” he asked, back in the present.

Candra pressed her lips together curiously, and two fine lines appeared between her eyebrows. She puffed her cheeks and blew out a quiet breath.

“Of course. It’s not every day a guy sweeps me off my feet.”

“I love you,” Sebastian swore with a reverence that caused his chest to swell with the truth of his words. No doubt existed in his mind or heart. It was a visceral sensation of absolute belonging that flowed through him. It was freedom…yes, that was the exact word. Loving Candra felt like freedom.
Maybe heaven isn’t back there. Maybe my heaven is right here, with her.

“I love you too.” Her gentle fingers slid over his shoulders and into his hair, distracting him from the curious thought. She blinked and tilted her head a little.

Sebastian guessed something in his expression worried her and made an effort to relax his features. Candra embraced him warmly, gripping his hair in her hands. He stroked her hair and kissed her head, attempting to make sense of the feelings inside him.

“Oof.” Candra laughed and wriggled out of his grip. “What’s gotten into you?”

He laughed too. “Do you know what? I have no idea.”

She burrowed her arms under his and leaned her head on his chest. “Well, while you’re working that out, photo opportunities await.”

He sighed happily and waved when he spotted his sister, Lofi, coming around the corner to join the crowds of well-wishers outside the main entrance to Saint Francis College.

“Your parents are still meeting us at the restaurant, right?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s weird, you know,” Candra remarked wistfully as they waited for another break in the busy city traffic. “I thought I would be glad to leave this place and move on. I complained enough about my parents talking me into staying in the city another year. I think I might actually miss the place. It almost feels like something is ending.”

“Candra, there is a big world out there just waiting for us, and we have our entire lives ahead of us. This isn’t an ending. We’re just getting going here.”

Candra smiled and held her hand out. Sebastian took it gratefully with a light squeeze.

“Ready?” he asked.

“Ready.”

Acknowledgments

It seems only yesterday I was thanking folk for putting up with me on the long journey toward publishing my first book. Now I get to share a third book.

My name is on the cover, but there is an army of talented and supportive people who helped me get it there. First, my mum, a woman who taught me the meaning of the words strength and love before she was snatched from this world too soon. I want to thank my dad for reading young adult books and for being kind with his opinion. Thank you to the rest of my family, my brothers, sisters, nieces, especially Rodney and Eric. They so often have to share me with imaginary people.

David, you are full of awesome. Autumn, our Facebook chats and your girls have saved my sanity more times than I care to count. Alan, sorry you had to move to stop me from spoiling the ending of this book for you.

For my friends from all over the world, thank you. Irina (Lucky) and Beckie, your friendship and input is absolutely invaluable to me. Thank you for your endless patience and support. Lucky, I would be lost in an ocean of commas without your help.

I’m also grateful to the incredible and inspiring group of women sharing the ups and downs of living with autism. At the times I think I can’t go on, when words are hard to find, you ladies are always there with your wisdom and humour.

My Omnific Publishing family: E, the authors, and everyone else, you rock! Honestly. You. Rock! Thanks for taking a chance on an Irish girl again. It’s good to know you have my back.

My lovely editor, Meredith MacLeod, you make my words look shinier than a new penny and your patience is astounding. Editing with you is a joy, even with the gremlins.

I wouldn’t have reached the point of a finished book without the rest of Team Iridescent: Emma Taylor, Kimberly Blythe, Coreen Montagna, Traci Olsen, and Amy Brokaw. Thank you.

To my readers, I’m forever grateful you give me so much of your time and allow me to share my crazy imagination with you.

Lastly, I know most of my readers wouldn’t have found my books if it wasn’t was the tireless efforts of the bloggers and reviewers who have hosted me on their blogs, wrote reviews, held competitions, Tweeted, Facebooked and spread the word about my books.

About the Author

Carol Oates has never been one to remain still for long. After her mother’s mad dash to the hospital through the empty city streets of Dublin, Ireland, Carol made her debut into the world in the early hours of Christmas morning. Since then her pace has not slowed down in the least.

Carol was introduced to the world of supernatural books when, as a child, her family moved to a coastal suburb of north Dublin known as Clontarf, famous as the birthplace of Bram Stoker, the prolific author responsible for breathing life into the legendary story of Dracula. This stirred in Carol an early passion for reading about all things supernatural. When that passion was combined with a deep interest in the history and folklore of Ireland, as well as an active and vivid imagination, Carol Oates, the author, was born. Carol’s love of writing about anything not entirely “human” emerged.

www.caroloates.com

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