Iron Cross: The Dartmouth Cobras #6 (53 page)

“I want to believe you, but I can’t. Not yet.” Tyler inhaled deeply, letting the air out in a heavy sigh. “But we’ll see what happens tonight.”

Nodding, Raif released Tyler, not moving until Tyler had changed and headed out to the ice. Practice was intense, which proved a good distraction from Raif’s troubled thoughts, but when he returned to the locker room sore and soaked in sweat to find Tyler already gone, he couldn’t help but wonder if the chance he’d been given had come too late. Without meaning to, he’d hurt Tyler in the worst way. His boy was resilient, had friends to support him as he sorted through the pain and began to put his life back together. In the few days they’d been apart, Tyler had changed. He was guarded, careful about every word. Even the way he played was stiffer, lacking the emotion he’d once shown.

Almost as though he’d aged years since everything he’d believed in had been taken from him. Life had a way of forcing the most free-spirited souls to either toughen up or shatter. Tyler wasn’t broken, but he wouldn’t trust as easily as before.

But he hadn’t become a hard man who would never trust again. Raif would earn back what he’d lost. And do everything in his power to make sure Tyler didn’t become that man. 

* * * *

Laura had never been to this neighborhood on a call. She paused before making her way up the path to the house, taking in the manicured lawns and the expensive cars parked in every driveway. There wasn’t so much as a cigarette butt on the street. A few houses over there were children playing tag on the sidewalk. Laura stopped as one ran out into the street, but the few cars that rolled down the street were slowed by strategically placed speed bumps.

And would wonders never cease, a woman about Laura’s age immediately came out and shouted for the children to get in the backyard. So many times, when a child was involved in a horrible accident, Laura would search the dirty streets for any sign of the parents. Yes, children managed to slip out, and sometimes no one was to blame, but when officers had to move toddlers off the street so the ambulance could get through, one had to wonder if anyone really cared.

Finding Tyler in a bad neighborhood would have made her feel even guiltier. She’d been staying with her brother, but she had gone home to get some of her things. Chicklet had been quiet, but she’d mentioned Tyler hadn’t been there.

Both Laura and Chicklet helped pay the rent on the condo, but it had been Tyler’s place first. The fact that he needed to find somewhere else to stay…Laura knew she was the one to blame. She was responsible for the whole damn mess, and while she couldn’t go back in time and make better choices, she could make sure Tyler didn’t pay for her mistakes. If he was willing to hear her out, that is.

No use dragging her feet. She reached the door and rapped her knuckles against the polished wood. A young woman opened the door, blonde hair streaked with blood red pulled away from her face with a blue bandana, wearing a loose black T-shirt with a skull on the front and ridiculously short shorts that looked ready to fall apart. Laura frowned at the girl, hoping this wasn’t Luke’s sister, because she had the appearance of most of the young women Laura dealt with on the job for everything from drugs to prostitution.

Laura tried not to judge people on appearances, but it was very difficult when the girl folded her arms over her chest and sucked her teeth as she returned Laura’s appraisal. “You’re Tyler’s cop girlfriend, aren’t you?”

“Yes. Is he here…Sam?” Laura gave the girl her most disarming smile. Maybe the girl’s attitude had more to do with concern for Tyler than the fact that she knew Laura was a police officer.

“Yeah, I’m Sam. And he’s not here yet, but he shouldn’t be long.” Sam stepped aside, leaving the door open. “Do you want a beer or something? No one’s going to be happy to see you, so don’t expect them to offer.”

“I wouldn’t mind having one with you while we wait.” Laura followed Sam to the kitchen and took a seat at the small, glass breakfast table. After thanking Sam for the beer she brought, Laura waited for Sam to sit across from her and tried to think of some small talk to relax the young woman. “Have you been to Dartmouth before?”

“No, I haven’t spent much time out of Minnesota.” Sam tipped her beer to her lips and closed her eyes as she took a long gulp. She clasped her hands around the bottle after setting it down. “I like it here though. Nice neighborhood. Haven’t really met anyone, but I might go to school in the fall if Sebastian can get all the paperwork done.”

Well, that sounded promising at least. There were many Sam’s age who wouldn’t care about school or work with their brother dating a rich man, but there was an eagerness in Sam’s tone, as though she was excited about moving forward.

“Do you know what you want to study?” Laura asked.

Sam shrugged, then stood suddenly and went to the cupboard. She came out with a box of dog biscuits, shaking it and giggling as Luke’s dog, Bear, came galloping into the room. She tossed a bone in the air, clapping when Bear caught it. “I was kinda thinking I’d like to work with animals. I never had any growing up, but I’m in love with this mutt.”

Laura watched Sam kneel on the floor to hug Bear, then glanced toward the hall as the front door opened. She stood as Luke and Jami came in the room, Tyler close behind. He frowned when he noticed her, but didn’t get a chance to comment because Luke was cursing under his breath as he grabbed Sam’s beer bottle off the table.

“Real smart, sis.” He went over to the sink to dump the beer. “Jami, will you fucking explain to her what the doctor said?”

Bottom lip quivering, Sam straightened and faced her brother. “It was only a few sips and I—”

“Can’t be trusted with anything. Talk to Jami. I don’t want to say something I’ll regret.”

Moving closer to Sam and putting her hand on the girl’s shoulder, Laura glared at Luke. “Don’t you think you’re overreacting?”

“Probably.” Luke rolled his shoulders as he went to the fridge to grab a bottle of water. “I mean, it’s her body, but alcohol’s bad for the baby. Expecting her to care about anyone besides herself is too much to ask.”

“I didn’t think it was a big deal, Luke! I’m sorry!” Sam ran from the room, Jami trailing after her with a heavy sigh.

Maybe this was a bad time for Laura to be here. She glanced over at Tyler, who was standing at the cupboard, eating a chocolate chip cookie and watching her expectantly. She cleared her throat. “Do you think we could go out for coffee or something? I’d really like to speak to you.”

Tyler set the box of cookies down on the counter. “Here’s fine.”

Luke went to stand beside Tyler, arms folded over his chest.

Ugh, this is going to be pleasant.
Laura couldn’t think of a polite way to ask Luke to get out of his own kitchen.

Thankfully, she didn’t have to. Sebastian strode into the room, pointed at Luke, then jutted his thumb over his shoulder. Grumbling, Luke left the room. Sebastian inclined his head to Laura and disappeared down the hall.

“This would be a lot easier if you’d sit down.” Laura didn’t want to press her chances, but she’d have a better idea of what those chances were if Tyler was willing to take a less hostile stance. Knowing this, she was shocked that Tyler actually came over and pulled out a chair. His posture was rigid, but they were off to a decent start. “Neither Raif or Chicklet are to blame for what I tried to do.”

“Funny, you gave me the impression Raif took the opportunity you gave him so he could fuck me a few times.” Tyler gave her a stiff smile. “Nice of you to worry while you were trying to get me out of your life.”

Laura leaned forward and placed her hands on the table, keeping her gaze level with Tyler’s. “If he just wanted to use you, Tyler, he wouldn’t have told Chicklet everything. They knew I was a mess, and they were trying to protect you.”

His brow furrowed. He rubbed his thighs and shook his head. “I don’t understand. Fine, assuming I believe they had the right intentions, that still doesn’t explain why you suddenly wanted me gone.”

“Because my life is complicated, my job was getting to me, and every time I came home, you seemed to be in some kind of trouble. I wanted to delve deeper into the lifestyle, submit completely to Chicklet, but I couldn’t and I blamed you.” Laura drew in a sharp inhale. She was not going about this the right way, but they couldn’t fix their relationship until they figured out what had been broken. “You were arrested, for God’s sake! I was so angry, and I figured things would calm down if you weren’t around.”

“Then what’s the problem? Why are you here?” He stood and walked away from the table. Turned and came back, bracing his hands on the surface beside her. “I’m not around. I’m completely out of the picture. You win.” His voice cracked with the last word, but he took a deep breath and continued. “Go build a wonderful life with Chicklet.”

“I didn’t win! And I’m here because I was wrong! I thought I was putting up with you for our Mistress, but I love you!” She stood and had to fight the urge to pull him into her arms, knowing he wouldn’t accept comfort from her. Not yet. “I missed you when we went to Chicklet’s father’s place. When I thought Raif might use you, might hurt you, I wanted to bury him! I didn’t know he was pretending just to scare me into seeing how important you are to me. But you are, Tyler!”

“You have a weird fucking way of showing it. What was Plan B, Laura? Take out an ad in the paper and see if anyone else wanted me?”

“Don’t be ridiculous. You’re missing the point.”

“Am I?” He shook his head and lowered back into the chair. “You know, I do stupid things and get in trouble, I get that. But it’s because I act without thinking. This wasn’t impulsive. You thought your plan through and carried it out over weeks. How am I supposed to trust that you’ve changed your mind and you love me now? How am I supposed to trust you at all?”

“I don’t expect you to. Not until I earn it.” She put her hand over his. Was encouraged when he didn’t pull away. “But you can trust Chicklet and Raif. Don’t turn your back on them—it’s my fault they were in this position.”

“And what do you think’s gonna happen if I stay with them, Laura? With you? Two years and what you, me, and Chicklet had wasn’t worth trying to save? Instead of telling me I was pissing you off, maybe giving me a chance to make you happy, you snuck around and…” He rubbed his eyes with his thumb and forefinger. “We can’t have a conversation. You can’t talk to Chicklet, you won’t talk to me… How is adding Raif to the mix gonna make anything better?”

“I can’t promise it will, but I want to try. I swear, I’ll tell you whenever you’re annoying. I’ll nag at you about leaving your shit laying around, about all the little things you do that drive me absolutely nuts.”

He snorted and met her eyes. “Yeah, there’s an offer I can’t refuse.”

“You know what I mean! What we have
is
worth saving. We had a great life together, but I didn’t see it until I almost lost it. I envisioned the perfect scenario, and when I had a taste of how things would be, I wanted the imperfect, unpredictable craziness that I can only get with you.” All right, what she was saying sounded a little nuts, but she couldn’t think of any other way to explain how much she needed him.

And that’s what he needed to hear.

She couldn’t speak for Chicklet and Raif, couldn’t convince him how much they loved him, but she
could
let him know that he wasn’t expendable to her anymore. Hadn’t been before, she’d just been too blinded by unrealistic ideals that could never make her happy. “I thought you were just a fun toy for Chicklet to play with once in a while, but you’re so much more. I love the way you make me smile and laugh, the way I can talk to you about just about anything.”

His brow lifted slightly. “Except how much I irritate you?”

“I’ll work on that!” She laughed when he made a face, as though he wished he hadn’t brought that up. “But I’d rather deal with you being messy and loud and obnoxious than not wake up in the morning to you teasing me when I’m grumpy, while bringing me a cup of coffee fixed up just right. I need you there when I come home to remind me that the world isn’t a dark, miserable place. I want you there to hold me at night, to kiss me, to kneel by my side and know exactly how I feel when reality fades away.”

Tyler turned his hand under hers and laced their fingers together. “Are you sure? Because you know Chicklet won’t leave you. If I’m out of the picture—”

“We’ll both be miserable. I’ll have lost one of the most important people in my life. And Chicklet may never be able to forgive me.” Which might still happen. “Raif’s been with her this whole time, you know. He’s the one she’s leaning on while she waits to see if you’ll come home.”

“You’ll have to make things right with both of them then. They’ve gotten real good at working together. I wouldn’t want to be on
both
their bad sides.” Tyler cocked his head, his expression thoughtful. “They’re gonna be at the club tonight. I told Raif I’d go see them, listen to what they have to say. They’ll probably want to punish you, and I don’t see it being fun. Come with me.”

Going to the club to face Chicklet and Raif sounded like a very bad idea. Tyler was exactly right. If they gave her another chance, they’d want to punish her first. And whatever they came up with would be horrible.

But worth whatever pain or suffering she’d have to go through if it meant they could all start over. She swallowed hard and nodded. “I’ll come.”