Irons (Norfolk #1) (8 page)

“That’s not fair, Frankie.” I grabbed the back of her head, pulled her closer and kissed her hair.

She pushed me away, “Do whatever it is you wanna do. You will, anyway.”

Walking out was nearly as hard as it was coming there in the first place. But I did it.

*     *     *

When I got
home, I ordered take out and went for a run. I needed to clear my head. I needed to figure out what the hell I was gonna do, how I would tell her parents. How I could make things right or how I could walk away.

Nothing was clear to me. Nothing in my life before this moment wasn’t a laid out plan. The only thing that had changed was everything that was fucking important to me. My best friend had been gone for three years; I had avoided any connection to him for that long, and then Frankie. Fuck!

I was a man of my word and, by God, if she didn’t do as I said. Break up with a fucking boy who beats her because he can’t make her feel any other way. I was gonna do what I had to do.

I grabbed my laptop and checked my email. Mother had sent me a list of events, or opportunities as she called them. I chose three that were close enough to Norfolk to drive and were close in date. I needed something to keep me occupied. I had no desire to go out and no desire to sit home.

Luckily, I was doing flight rescue drills so I wouldn’t run into Frankie for the next couple days. But after that I would run into her and I prayed she’d do the right thing.

*     *     *

I sat looking
at the clock and typed in Frankie’s number. I got it from a file in the training center. Wrong or right, it had to be done.

I sent a message:

Two hours, Frankie.

I stood up and walked out the sliding glass doors and onto the deck. I stood staring at the ocean.

I turned around when I heard the doors slide open.

“Hi,” I leaned back against the railing and watched her pull her phone out of her pocket.

She pushed a button and it rang a few times before I heard his voice.

“Hello.”

“Hey Joel.”

“What’s up?”

“Look, this thing we’ve been doing has to stop.”

“I agree, wasn’t my idea to begin with. You’re the one who likes it dirty, girl.”

Her eyes closed and her cheeks turned pink.

“Joel I mean all of it. I’m breaking up—”

“What the fuck ever, Frankie. Seriously, over the fucking phone, that’s a bitch move, you know. You ought to have your ass beat for that.”

“Yeah, well, here’s the thing. I’m not calling you names, so you shouldn’t be—”

“Who the fuck is he, who’s beating your ass now, or have you gotten into even more twisted shit?”

“No one’s beating my ass, Joel. Look, I gotta go.”

“No fucking problem, Frankie, and just so you know, I’ve gotten more head since starting college than you ever gave.”

“Congratulations. Goodbye, Joel.”

She hung up the phone and looked up at me. “You happy now?”

“Yes.”

“You know it’s not going to change a thing. I’ll find someone else to make me feel and you’ll have to wonder if this guy will stop once he starts. Joel knew the word no. So you sleep on that one.”

“What makes you think I’m gonna let you sleep with anyone else?”

“Fuck you, Jax.”

“And only me. We do this my way.”

“What the hell are you talking about? Me and you? Yeah, right. It lasted, what, two hours before you kicked me outta here to play cards? I have no desire to be fourth or fifth on someone’s to do list.”

I couldn’t help but laugh and then she turned around and opened the door.

I grabbed her shoulder and turned her around, “That’s why you walked out of here. That’s why you got all pissed off and crazy acting?”

“Don’t laugh at me Jax. Don’t you fucking laugh at me!”

Tears started pouring down her face, “Okay. Jesus, Frankie.”

I pulled her into my arms and hugged her.

“Let go, Jax.”

“I can’t, Frankie. I wish I could but I can’t.”

She was a mess. She was a mess and had been trying to hold it all together for three fucking years now.

I stood back and held her biceps.

“You’re beautiful when you cry, Frankie.”

She looked at me like I was insane and fuck, maybe I was.

“Look, I don’t wanna hurt you or be hurt by you. For three years now I’ve thought about you. And for three years it felt wrong to do that. I stayed away. After the other night,” I closed my eyes and shook my head, “I have no idea how that will ever happen. So no, you won’t be sleeping with anyone else. You don’t go to dinner with Ace. You can—”

“Jax I can’t do this right now. I can’t—”

I took her hand and walked inside. “You’re tired.”

“I am. I want to go home and sleep.”

“Sleep here.” She scowled at the floor. “I’ll make you dinner.”

She didn’t say no and I walked her to my room. She laid down on my bed and I covered her up.

*     *     *

I grilled steak
and roasted vegetables, then threw out the takeout I had ordered. When she walked out, she rubbed her eyes and looked at me.

“You sleep well?”

She rubbed her arms and yawned.

“You still like steak?”

“Yeah.”

“Have a seat on the couch; I’ll bring dinner to you.”

I was cutting up the veggies and steak when there was a knock on the door.

“It’s open,” I yelled.

“You still held up in here thinking about Little Will?”

She cleared her throat and Shadows looked into the living room. “Jesus Jax, you could’ve told me.”

“Hi, Shadows.”

“Francesca how are you?”

“Fine, thank you. I’m just gonna use the bathroom,” she said as she started walking down the hall.

“What’s going on?” Shadows whispered.

“I’m hopeful that things are moving in the right direction.”

“Which is?”

“I want her to be my girl.”

“Your girl?”

“Yes, Shadows, mine.”

She walked out of the bathroom looking at us. I could tell she was a little uncomfortable, but, typical Frankie, she put on a big smile. “Did he invite you to dinner as well?”

I raised my eyebrows and shook my head.

“No, he actually didn’t. I just stopped over to let him know we may be getting called out in a few days.”

“Really?”

She sounded a little upset.

“Frankie, when we train for a week straight you can safely assume something’s going on.” Shadows reached over to the platter I had prepared and grabbed a potato. “Alright see you both in the morning.”

When he left, she walked up and sat on the barstool. “Do you know where you’ll be going?”

I picked up the platter and two forks, “To the couch. I’m starving.”

“I saw take out, you can’t be that hungry still.”

I set the platter on the coffee table and went back to the kitchen, “Didn’t eat it.” I opened the fridge, “Wine or beer, Francesca?”

“Beer is fine.” She sat on the couch with her legs under her and I handed her a Guinness.

“Hope you like dark, it’s all I have.”

“It’s fine.” She took a sip and set it down, then reached for the fork.

“Uh uh, I wanna feed you.”

“Jax, I’m perfectly capable.”

“I know that. But when you were sleeping I thought about you. I thought about what I wanted to do for you.” I held the forkful of potato up to her mouth, “Open.”

She chewed the potato and I watched. Her eyes rolled back and she moaned a little, “What did you put on these, they’re delicious?”

“More?”

“God, yes.” She scooted closer and opened her mouth.

“You’ve been bullshitting everyone since Will died. Acting like you’re okay, worrying about your parents and it struck me that no one has taken care of you.”

She held her hand in front of her mouth, shielding it as she talked, “Who’s taken care of you Jax?”

“I’m not the same as you. You know that, pointed it out, actually.” I held the fork up. “Open.”

She held her hand up again before speaking with her mouth full, “I was angry.”

“But not dishonest. It’s true, I do think of me and how things affect me. But now I want to think of,” I stopped ‘cause I was feeling a lot less confident about it than I did while I played out the scenario in my head. “I want to think of us as a unit, a team. Me being the leader, of course.”

“Because?”

“I think it’s obvious Frankie. I have some pretty strong feelings for you.”

She smiled, “No, silly, why should you be the leader?”

“Because I can’t be any other way. And honestly I don’t think you’d want it any differently. What I mean Frankie is I want to take care of you. I want your parents—”

“Hold up, Irons, I don’t want them to be caused any pain when you’ve had enough of me or I’ve had enough of you. We can leave them out of it, okay?”

“We can discuss it, but I don’t want to lie to your parents. And when you move in—”

“Jax, I have a year left of school. I have an apartment. I don’t think we need to rush this.”

“I don’t want you to tell me what you think I wanna hear. I’ve been with a lot of women, Frankie, women who I made no promises, who said they understood I wasn’t relationship material. Then when it ends and I move on, it’s different. My point, don’t act like you don’t want this when we both know you do. Don’t pussy foot around my emotions because I don’t play that way.”

“You’re pretty sure of yourself.”

“I am. I know who I am and I know you want me as much as I want you.”

“Maybe I’m here for the steak.” She opened her mouth, asking for more.

“I’m pretty sure that’s exactly why you’re here.”

She shook her head and looked down. “It can’t be that easy, Jax.”

“Everything else in the past three years has been hell. Don’t you think its time for easy?”

“I miss him,” she whispered.

“Me too, sweetheart, me too.”

“I hated when he left, every time he left, it hurt.”

“Is that why you’re not sure about us? Is it because of what I am?”

“Jax, I don’t think I could handle losing someone else again.”

“They say only the good die young, Frankie. I’m not all that good.”

“Don’t you think we should think about this a little more? What if it’s because of Will?”

“It was because of Will that I know you. It was because of Will that I care about you. It’s because of Will that I understand what you need. I watched him handle you for years.”

“Handle me?”

I smiled and nodded, “I also watched you handle him, so don’t get pissy. But understand, I know all your little tricks to tug at someone’s heart strings. That being said, it’s also because of Will, that I know what you want and what you need emotionally. But Frankie, Will, wasn’t here when I started caring deeper. He wasn’t in Pensacola when I couldn’t get you out of my mind. He wasn’t here when we kissed that night and I felt a need that I had never felt for a woman before. That was all you.”

“But if he was here—”

“I’d have some explaining to do, because one look at you as a woman and I would’ve used every move I had to get you under me.”

She tried not to smile and looked down. “What would he have said?”

“He would have been pissed, but when he figured out that I wanted to do you right, I’m sure he would’ve been just fine with it.”

“But if you hurt me…” she looked up sadly.

“He would know I’m a man of my word and if I said I wanted to take care of you, that’s exactly what I would do.”

I held up the fork and she shook her head back and forth. “I don’t want any more. I want you to take me to bed.”

I wanted nothing more than to do just that. “When can we tell your folks?”

She stood up and started undressing very slowly and I knew I was not going to be able to walk away, I did that two days ago and it nearly killed me.

“You said I could have that part of you when I broke up with Joel. It’s time to pay the piper.”

Her blouse fell to the floor, exposing a red lacy bra that I am sure should be illegal because it, alone, could cause men to tear down a country. She undid her pants and slowly they shimmied down her body, exposing matching red lacy booty shorts. I wanted her to turn around so I would see how that tight little ass looked in them.

“You just going to sit there and stare at me or are you going to accept this mission, soldier?”

“It’s all very tempting, sweetheart, but I’m pretty sure you’re breaking laws right now.”

“Oh yeah, how’s that?”

“You could start a war, Frankie. Nobody should look that beautiful.”

And then she turned around and walked into my room.

As I walked in the room after her, my house phone rang.

“You gonna get that?” Frankie asked as she sat on my bed.

“No.”

I pulled my shirt over my head and tossed it on the ground. Then I walked up to the foot of my bed, hooked my hands around the back of her knees and pulled her down to the edge.

“Where to start?” I leaned over and kissed the top of her head.

‘Jaxson, it’s your mother,’ came over the answering machine. ‘We need to discuss the events you will be attending.’

“Jax, you should get…oh God.”

I took her lacy little bra down and licked her hard nipple as I reached around and unhooked it.

‘You’ll need to bring a date, so I have arranged to have Mimi Deveroux attend with you to three of them.’

Frankie’s body stiffened and I leaned back on my heels and looked at the little scowl she had going.

“Frankie—”

“No. I don’t wanna know, okay.” She looked up at me, “What? I don’t.”

I stood up and grabbed the phone, “Mother, it’s Jaxson I want you to…”

“Mother, listen, I don’t need a date…”

“No, that’s not all right with me…”

“Look, I’m seeing someone.”

Frankie shook her head back and forth telling me no.

“No. When we’re ready you can meet her, just not now…”

“This is not up for discussion…”

“Of course I will ask her to accompany me but if she doesn’t feel ready for all that yet, then I will be going alone…”

“I don’t care how it will look…”

“I understand I am part of this family…”

“As I said, when she’s ready, then…”